Flutter - Level Twenty One: Footsies [25/3/17]

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Hesmiyu
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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Hesmiyu » Sat Jun 25, 2016 4:02 am

Excellent chapter as always Sharp-O. I like that some hanky was pankied :P. Keep up the good work with future chapters :D
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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Sat Jun 25, 2016 7:19 am

swampie2 wrote:Flag number 1. :wink:
*Raise Your Flag plays in the distance* 8)
Hoitash wrote:I'd say you're deliberately teasing us for your own sadistic amusement, but real life ain't no fairy tail, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now :wink:.

Either way, still adorable. I honestly figured they'd start going at it only for Mrs. Nakai to barge in, but that would probably have killed them both.
Flash Fact: Original draft had Mrs Nakai call again and she's on her way home but that came off as more of a cliffhanger again and I didn't want to get shouted at. As for teasing the readers for my own sadistic amusement? Hi, welcome to reading a Sharp-O fic :lol:
Dash9 wrote:Also, Rika doesn't use much profanity, so it really conveys just how much pain she was in at the beginning. Well done, too many people nowadays overuse such language so it loses it's intended impact.

I had more swearing in Monomyth certainly but that because I wanted to focus more on them being teenagers than on their disabilities (though I suppose Japanese kids wouldn't do it as much)
Dash9 wrote:Also, is Hisao's only reason for putting on the brakes his concern for Rika? I feel like I'm either reading too much into things or picking up on something really subtle, and I can't tell which. Also, she backed down quite quickly considering how things were heating up. I'm fairly sure I know HER reason tho.
Unlike all of the other characters I've written, there is legitimate danger for these two when it comes to sex and they both know it (unlike Lilly in her route). To use a term from the story; they're playing footsies. Testing their range with some safe little attacks and trying to control the flow of what's happening.

Thanks for all your comments, guys! Glad you enjoyed this little chapter.

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Dash9 » Sat Jun 25, 2016 8:25 am

I had more swearing in Monomyth certainly but that because I wanted to focus more on them being teenagers than on their disabilities (though I suppose Japanese kids wouldn't do it as much)
I was actually referring to her character not the fic. Rika tends to keep it pg-13 (or regional equivalent), even in her internal dialogue (crapbaskets, etc.) I don't mind adult language at all, but the way you've been using it here really does retain emphasis when used, whether that's intentional or not. Anyway, it was mostly meant as a compliment, so feel free to nod your head and smile. lol

Well, thanks for the responses. Also forgot the quote box on the last typo/correction/whatever in my last post. Sorry for confusion, I probably should proofread these posts a bit more thoroughly.
--Dash

P.S.
Flash Fact: Original draft had Mrs Nakai call again and she's on her way home but that came off as more of a cliffhanger again and I didn't want to get shouted at.
Glad you didn't do this, cliffhanger aside it would have been a bit too predictable, in a very cliche way. I think this chapter (and ending) came out wonderfully. Like I said before, I'm willing to bet anyone who's been following along this far is going to come back for the next chapter anyway. Also, my main issue wasn't the cliffhangers themselves as much as it was about the frequency. I think I mentioned that they HAD built up the tension/suspense, just to avoid overusing them to keep it from going stale.

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by AlexFDSR » Sat Jun 25, 2016 11:44 am

Sharp-O wrote:“Thunder, moths flying at me, horror movies, ferris wheels…”
OK what about a lightning bug on a ferris wheel dressed like Freddy Krueger?
According to the forums, I post an hour into the future...
If Iwanako had a route/was the protagonist of KS, would the tagline be "Can you find it in your heart?"

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Jun 25, 2016 7:25 pm

“One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Missi-”
I kinda get what she's doing, but that particular figure of speech seems quite out of place in Japan...
“I was even th-thinking about…”
"wasn't"?

Agree with the previous posters: Adorable!
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Sat Jun 25, 2016 7:32 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
“One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Missi-”
I kinda get what she's doing, but that particular figure of speech seems quite out of place in Japan...
I genuinely googled to see if there was some Japanese equivalent phrase but had no luck unfortunately... :(

Thanks for reading as always, Mirage :)

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by HoneyBakedHam » Sun Jun 26, 2016 1:54 am

swampie2 wrote:
Sharp-O wrote:“You’re going to be the death of me, Hisao Nakai.”
Flag number 1. :wink:
Glad to see I wasn't the only one who thought that. And knowing Sharp, he's gonna ruin all of us by having Hisao actually lead to Rika's death. A mean, sadistic boy he is, that one.

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Hesmiyu » Sun Jun 26, 2016 2:45 am

HoneyBakedHam wrote:
swampie2 wrote:
Sharp-O wrote:“You’re going to be the death of me, Hisao Nakai.”
Flag number 1. :wink:
Glad to see I wasn't the only one who thought that. And knowing Sharp, he's gonna ruin all of us by having Hisao actually lead to Rika's death. A mean, sadistic boy he is, that one.
A Rika death? :O instead of a Hisao T-shirt cannon death? Sharp-O certainly loves toying with us.
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Being disabled is just differently abled differently labelled.

My art: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=10190
Swim story(Currently 11 chapters long) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=10221

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun Jun 26, 2016 4:55 am

Sharp-O wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
“One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Missi-”
I kinda get what she's doing, but that particular figure of speech seems quite out of place in Japan...
I genuinely googled to see if there was some Japanese equivalent phrase but had no luck unfortunately... :(

Thanks for reading as always, Mirage :)
I don't know about Japan either, but here in Germany we simply count (the German equivalent of) "twenty-one - twenty-two - twenty-three...".
Might be more internationally used than a US river...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Razoredge » Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:31 pm

For what I have read, it's a really interesting story. I will keep an eye on it.
I want your style of writing :D Really, you write very well.
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route & Razor's One Shots & misc.

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Re: Flutter - Level Sixteen: Rushdown [25/6/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Mon Jun 27, 2016 4:36 pm

Razoredge wrote:For what I have read, it's a really interesting story. I will keep an eye on it.
I want your style of writing :D Really, you write very well.
Thank you, Razor! :oops: I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

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Flutter - Level Seventeen: Tag-Out [2/7/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Fri Jul 01, 2016 10:25 pm

Waking up without my boyfriend butt naked next to me is the ultimate anti-climax to last night’s fun. Why did I agree to just cuddle? His hands were all over me! Mine were all over him! I groan with frustration into the pillow before sitting up in a huff.

I wipe the sleep from my eyes and shuffle toward the window, pulling the curtains aside only to be blinded by the sunlight pouring through.

Gah!”

It was still raining when we went to bed last night but looking out at the warm light of day wouldn’t tell you that. I bet it’s hot as hell out there… Definitely too warm to be wearing all black like her down there.

Peering down at the front gate of Casa Del Nakai, a vaguely familiar and shapely figure stops before looking up and down the street before slipping through the gate. She disappears out of my line of sight but she soon trots into view again and out the gate.

She closes it and looks up, in the direction of Hisao’s balcony and I finally get a clear view of the mysterious girl. That’s Iwanako! What’s she up to? She takes a few steps back and she freezes in place as her eyes drift over to me. She definitely wasn’t expecting to see me in the next window, I bet. But it’s not like I was expecting to catch her sneaking around out front either…

We kinda just look at each other for a few seconds before I decide, for lack of any better ideas, to smile and wave. I realise how stupid it must have looked and how weak-sauce my confused smile was but running off is a bit of an over reaction. At least I can say I tried to be friendly.

I head over to Hisao’s room in my lounging clothes and give a few light knocks on his door before peeking inside. I figured he might be downstairs but it doesn’t hurt to check and it’s lucky that I did.

Image

The sunlight beams into Hisao’s room through his open curtains and onto his bed, where he lies splayed out, one arm over his face. The heat of the morning sun must have been too much as his covers are half kicked off his legs. I close the door quietly behind me and creep across the room to him. He almost looks cute in his rag doll-like position.

“Hisaaaaoooo~” I purr, sitting on the edge of his bed and stroking his leg gently. “Up and at ‘em, senpai.”

Mm.” He grunts, shifting ever-so slightly then lifting his arm to look at me. “What time is it?”

“Time you got up.” I answer with a sweet smile, squeezing his thigh absent-mindedly.

“That’s too early…” He moans, rolling over onto his side away from me. I grab his arm and pull him onto his back again.

“Get up, lazy! I think there’s mystery afoot.” I laugh, Hisao scowling in response.

“Unless one of my parents is actually dead, I’m not interested.” He rolls away again crossing his arms. “Wouldn’t be much of a mystery anyway… Mom was bound to snap eventually.” He mutters under his breath. Okay, one: dark. Two…

“Your ex-girlfriend was skulking around just now.” I state, pulling him back and hopping onto his legs so he can’t escape again.

“Iwanako?” Hisao asks as I loom over his torso.

“No, the other ex-girlfriend.” I roll my eyes at him. “I think she might have left something at the door but I couldn’t see.”

“God dammit…” He groans. “This is going to be my entire day, isn’t it?”

Our entire day.” I lean in and sweetly peck him on the lips. “If you think I’m just going to let you solo this boss — you’ve got another thing coming.” She almost killed you with words last time you faced her alone and I’m sure as hell not letting that happen again…

He looks up at me and smiles before closing his eyes. His hands run up my arms and shoulders to my face. He opens his eyes again and gazes at me with the most loving gaze I’ve ever seen.

“Thanks, Rika.”

It’s getting hot in here and I don’t think it’s the sun… I smile back, kiss him again and hop off his legs.

“Any time. Now come on, I want some breakfast!”

-----------

With folded arms balancing me on the coffee table, I peer at the envelope that sits between me and Hisao. A curious paper bomb… Waiting to be triggered. Hisao rests his back against the couch, mug of coffee in hand, studying the object in front of him.

“Stationary’s the same.” He comments.

“Well, yeah, it’s from the same person,” I place a finger on one corner of the envelope and spin it idly. “I’d write way more letters if I had pretty stationary like this.”

“Who would you even write to?”

“Mom. Fuuka. You…” I answer with a smile, Hisao scoffing as he slammed his mug onto the table while my attention is focused solely on not sending the paper rectangle flying across the room.

“Are you gonna let me open it now?” He shuffles forward, sliding his crossed legs under the table and resting his elbows upon it.

“We’ve seen what happens when you open this girl’s letters, senpai… Why not let me do the honours? I’m less likely to react to it.”

“Unless you throw a fit like last time.” Hisao rolls his eyes at me. He’s not wrong…

“Fair point but let me take this bullet for you. I’ll even read it aloud!” He shakes his head with a small smirk before gesturing with a hand for me to proceed.

It’s not sealed tight, just the tip folded into the envelope itself. Parting the paper, I give it the quick once-over for anything other than the letter. Can’t be too careful…

I pull the slip from the envelope and unfold the note, Hisao’s eyes becoming more focused as I do. I clear my throat before reading the note aloud verbatim.

Dear Hisao. I’m so sorry about what happened the other day. I was just so shocked to see you out of the blue like that.
I hope you are alright and that you’re enjoying your summer vacation. I know I have no right to ask but would you please meet with me? I think there’s some things we should talk about.


“Signed, she of the fancy-pants stationary.” I finish with a comedic flourish but it doesn’t make Hisao laugh. Not even a hint of a smile. Yeah, I guess this isn’t the time for jokes… “What do you think, Hisao?”

“I figured this would be coming… It’s what I basically came back to do anyway but now that she actually wants to talk… I’m not so sure this was a good idea…” He sighs with a worried forehead that makes him look twenty years older.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I can throw this right into the garbage!” I wave the paper almost threateningly.

“No… Don’t…” He face palms, rubbing his temples with his thumb and middle finger. “Does it say where or when she wants to meet?”

I offer the note to him, since it says where but I have no idea where it is. He takes the note in hand cautiously, looking at it with a slight frown before letting out a bitter chuckle.

“Of course…” He tosses the paper onto the table before rubbing his face with both hands, almost growling as he sighs. “She would want to meet there…”

-----------

Image

I made sure to put on some sunscreen and my baseball cap before we left and we stopped at the store for some bottled water to keep us hydrated. A cool breeze tempers the suns heat, making the trees around us rustle and the walk to this uncomfortable reminder of Hisao’s past much more bearable.

Still, the atmosphere is thick with more than humidity as Hisao fidgets while he walks; looking behind him — back down the dirt track toward his old school — every dozen steps, scratching his cheeks, ears, the back of his hand. I try to keep him distracted with small-talk but it doesn’t seem to help…

“This place is soooo nice! Reminds me of the woods around Yamaku but less… spooky. Is it always this pretty?” I ask with genuine wonder, skipping ahead and spinning around to face Hisao.

“I don’t really remember…” He mutters ponderously. “Everything was covered in snow last time I was here…”

“Riiiight… At least it isn’t raining!” I laugh, scratching my cheek nervously. He smiles a little but he still looks anxious. Oh, Hisao… I wish I could do more than just be here for you.

“This is the place…” Hisao says, standing under the shade of an enormous tree in a lush open patch of grass.

“Aaaaaand nobody’s here…” I pull out my phone to check the time while Hisao sits down, leaning against the trunk.

“She was late last time too.” He smirks, bringing his bottled water to his lips. It’s not much of a joke but it’s something. I sit down next to him, brushing my skirt flat when I’m settled.

“So how are we going to play this?” I ask before gesturing first to Hisao and then to myself. “Good cop, bad cop?”

He shakes his head, leaning on his crossed legs and idly swinging his water bottle by the neck. Stupid. This is his fight and I’m little more than a striker; to be called in for support. I’m sure he’s going to be fine. There’s no element of surprise this time, he knows what’s coming and he can figure out what he’s going to say.

Regardless; under the shade of this particular tree, not feet away from where he had his first attack, Hisao is going to be in one of the toughest fights of his life. Not for his life this time, but for his peace of mind and heart. To get the closure he sorely needs and deserves.

“Hey. Here they come.” Hisao says and I snap out of my thoughts and look in the same direction as he is. Coming from another tree cloaked path to our left, two figures walk hand-in-hand. I hop to my feet and dust myself off while Hisao rises slowly.

“I can’t believe she brought Shin…” He mutters.

“You brought me.” I respond with a shrug. While Iwanako and Shin close the distance, Hisao turns to me with worried eyes.

“Rika… If anything h-happens t-to me…” He stammers, interrupted by my hands clamping around his biceps.

Nothing is going to happen to you, silly.”

“Okay… But… Just tell me everything’s going to be okay. If you say it, I might just believe it.” He chokes out a laugh and I have to hug him. He looks like he needs one so badly…

“Everything’s going to be great, senpai. Just think of this as a double-date!” I throw him a big, goofy smile that seems to lift his spirits as we turn to greet the other duo. “A super-awkward double-date…”

Hisao and I square up against our counterparts as a fresh breeze blows at our backs, almost urging us forward. Round One… Fight.

“H-H-Hey, Hisao… Thank you for m-meeting with me.” Iwanako opens with an apology, but Hisao’s quick to offer up his hand.

“No problem, I think it’s good that we’ll have a chance to talk.” No one’s buying that forced smile, Hisao… “This is Rika, by the way, she’s my, uh…” He stalls and looks at me like he doesn’t know what word to use next.

“We’re dating.” I jump in for the assist while Hisao scrambles to get his thoughts in order. Can’t believe he tripped at the second hurdle… “It’s nice to meet you both.” I bow respectfully.

“O-O-Oh! It’s, um, very nice to m-meet you too, Rika!” Iwanako seems equally flustered as Hisao. Reminds me of that girl with the scars who hides in the library. Whatsername… “I’m Iwanako and he’s Shin. Are you enjoying y-your vacation?”

“It’s been interesting so far!” I throw a smile at Hisao, who seems shocked that I’m so calm when everyone else is tip-toeing on eggshells. I got your back, Hisao.

“I wanted to, um, apologise for the other day and, uh…” Iwanako looks down sheepishly while focusing on Hisao. I step back a little and, to my surprise, so does Shin. “Can we… Can we take a little walk? There’s a couple things that I…”

Both Hisao and Iwanako look at me and then at Shin.

“Fine by me.” I nod and Shin scratches the back of his head with a crooked smile.

“Sure. You guys need some private time, that’s okay. Go for it.”

The pair nod, look at each other and quickly decide to walk in the direction Iwanako and Shin just came from. This is your fight now, senpai.

I take a seat under the shade of the tree again, watching the ex-lovers wander off. Shin sits down opposite me, his knees level with his chest.

“You got to the same school as Hisao then?” Straight in with the questions. I shouldn’t be surprised, Mai and Takumi were pretty curious too.

“Yup, I’ve been there longer though.”

“Huh. Cool.” He nods, accepting my answer and not pressing further as he looks toward Iwanako with a wistful look. “You okay with your boyfriend hanging out with his ex?”

“Are you?” I counter defensively.

“Huh? What, no, me and ‘Nako aren’t a… thing.” He blushes as he mutters his surprise revelation.

“Oh really?” I enquire, Shin running a hand through his shaggy hair.

“Some people, like Takumi and Mai, think we are. I’ve tried to tell them otherwise but since I’ve ‘picked my side’, they don’t wanna listen…” He sighs sadly. “It was never about me choosing sides, I just… I felt sorry for ‘Nako.”

“I’m not gonna say what happened to Hisao wasn’t fuckin’ awful and I’ll even admit part of me hated her for what she did to him but… I mean, you should have seen what it was like for ‘Nako after word spread around. She was treated like she was toxic!” Shin becomes more and more agitated as he talks, gesturing his hands wildly.

“Her parents weren’t helping her cope with the guilt, the old coots around town would whisper behind her back and at school… Shit, that was hell for her.”

“H-How bad was it?” I never really took the time to think about it but yeah, she would catch a lot of heat for what happened.

“They wrote ‘heart-breaker’ on her locker. After that was cleaned off, the next day it said ‘killer’ in red marker. By the end of the first week, her locker was scrawled all over and stuffed with all sorts of sinister shit.”

“God… And you didn’t like that, I guess.” I observe, the anger and sadness he feels spat with every word.

“I found her one day… She was bawling her eyes out behind the bike sheds and she had… She had these bruises on her face and arms, someone had taken it a step further and actually attacked her. She’s never said who and she healed pretty quick so the damage was superficial but after seeing that… I couldn’t hate her and I certainly couldn’t just let it happen.” He looks up from the grass with raw emotion behind his eyes.

“She was just another victim of the same cruel accident as Hisao; but rather than her body turning against her, it was the rest of the world.”

“That’s horrible…” I whisper. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. The guilt alone would be too much for almost anyone. It’s sad that only Shin has been the only one standing in her corner this whole time…

“I just hope Hisao can find it… Find it in his heart to forgive her. If he could do that, maybe she’ll stop hating herself.” Shin says with an encouraging nod. “Maybe then she can start to move on with her life.”

“You really care about her, huh?” I ask with a soft smile, causing the boy to crimson in the cheeks.

“Well, yeah! I’m her friend, ya know? What about you and Hisao, how’d you meet?” He changes subjects almost masterfully. I can’t blame him, I wouldn’t admit my feelings to a perfect stranger either.

“We kinda bumped into each other around school. We’ve got some things in common, started hanging out and now we’re dating.” I explain the abridged version of the last few months with a smile. “Just your normal girl-meets-boy kind of deal!”

“Oh, okay.” He responds, looking at Hisao and Iwanako as they stroll around the edges of the field. Iwanako hasn’t bolted and Hisao isn’t on the ground so that’s encouraging.

“How’s it been? For him, I mean. Is he okay at this new school and with his…” Shin taps his chest suggestively.

“He’s doing good! He seems to have gotten used to Yamaku. He was a little behind because he transferred late but he’s caught up pretty well.”

“That’s good to hear. Really good.” Shin chuckles, a relieved smile spreading across his face. “I haven’t spoken to him since he was in the hospital so… Say, would you do me a favour, Rika? Keep him out of trouble.”

“Shoot!” I exclaim, snapping my fingers in mock frustration. “Fight Club was going to kick off again after the summer break!”

Me and Shin laugh at my dumb joke and we let the sounds of summer breezes and distant birds and cars fill the silence.

“So what kinds of things are you into, Rika? You seem like a book-reader to me.” Shin asks with a curious look up and down my frame.

“Not really, I’m more into video games.”

“Ah! So I guess Mai dragged you to the arcades in Shibuya then…” He smirks a little while looking down, toying with the grass between his legs. “That girl has got a competitive streak a mile wide.”

“Tell me about it… She kicked my butt at Tekken! I thought I was great at that game!” I whine, making Shin laugh.

“Yeeeah, she’s pretty amazing! Don’t feel too bad though, I could never beat her either.”

“I’ve heard…” I trail off, quickly checking on Hisao, who is thankfully still standing and walking toward us again but still along the edge of the field with Iwanako. “Argh, I hate this! Sitting on the sidelines, feeling useless… Not that I could actually help but still!”

“Yeah, I get that.” Shin sighs before falling onto his back. “But they’re not screaming at each other, running away, or fainting so that’s got to be a good sign.”

He’s right but still… No, this is Hisao’s fight, I have to let him see it through to the end. Unless he collapses. Yes, she’s had it rough but if Iwanako gives my boyfriend another heart attack, I’ll kick her ass. No, wait, I’d call ambulance for Hisao then kick her ass.

A few minutes of silence pass by, Shin content to close his eyes and enjoy the shade while I watch the chatty pair continue on the path before turning toward us and walking over.

“Hey, guys.” I say with small smile, Shin bolting upright when he realises I wasn’t talking to him.

“I’m awake!” He exclaims and the returning pair smile at his bewildered yet guilty expression.

Hisao sits down next to me, huffing and puffing. He pulls the sweater vest from his body, revealing a super-sweaty shirt underneath. He collapses onto his back and begins his breathing exercises. I lean over him, placing a hand delicately on his chest. His heart is pounding.

“I’m… Alright… Just… a little winded. Walking and talking… takes it out of me…” He says between breaths. I reposition myself so his head can rest on my lap and I begin petting his head gently as he closes his eyes.

“I know, senpai. Just rest and calm down for now.” I smile down at him before turning my attention to Iwanako. “Are you alright? Thirsty?” I ask, offering up my water bottle to her and she shakes her head, her eyes fixed on Hisao as she sits on her knees next to Shin.

“Are you going to be okay, Hisao?” Shin asks, craning his neck to peer at Hisao who responds with a thumbs-up.

“There’s this huge hill leading up to Yamaku from the town nearby that we tend to stop halfway up because it can take it out of us.” I offer to the worried looking pair. “We deal with this all the time.”

“Stop scaring the normies, Rika…” Hisao jabs, opening one eye at me. Sticking my tongue out playfully makes him smile and warms my heart a little. I’m so glad he’s alright.

“Did you guys have a good talk?” I had to ask, it’s kind of important.

“Yeah, we t-talked. Sorry for leaving you guys out of it but it was… personal.” Iwanako answers, surprisingly. She seems pretty cagey, around me especially but she seemed to talk to Hisao no problem.

“We understand, ‘Nako. Me and Rika have been chatting up a storm anyways, right?” He shoots me a smirk and I nod.

“We’ve been comparing how we get our butts kicked by Mai.” I laugh, Hisao joining in but Iwanako surprises me by coyly smiling at Shin. He looks really nervous.

“Talking about Mai, huh? Makes sense.” She keeps looking at Shin until he looks away, flushed. “Stop it, ‘Nako…”

“I don’t know about you but I’m starving! Do you guys want to come grab something to eat? My treat.” Iwanako turns her focus back to me and Hisao, strangely more upbeat after that little exchange. What’s going on there?

“Sounds good to me.” Hisao groans, lifting himself into a sitting position. “Rika?”

“Yeah, sure.” I nod with a smile before we gather ourselves and walk toward town.
Last edited by Sharp-O on Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:49 am, edited 2 times in total.

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AlexFDSR
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Re: Flutter - Level Seventeen: Tag-Out [2/7/16]

Post by AlexFDSR » Sat Jul 02, 2016 12:17 am

Sharp-O wrote:"At least it isn’t raining!”
You don't know what you've triggered in my mind... "Hisao, I got word of another katawa needing our help, I'll mark her on your map".
According to the forums, I post an hour into the future...
If Iwanako had a route/was the protagonist of KS, would the tagline be "Can you find it in your heart?"

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Flutter - Level Seventeen: Tag-Out [2/7/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Jul 02, 2016 5:30 am

The sunlight beamed into Hisao’s room through his open curtains and onto his bed, where he lay splayed out, one arm over his face.
Inexplicably past tense.
If you think I’m just going to let you solo this boss
walk in the direction Iwanako and Hisao just came from
Iwanako and Shin?

And really? Hisao wearing a sweatervest on a day like this?
I've already given up on trying to stomp out that meme even though there is exactly one time in the VN that Hisao wearing a sweatervest is mentioned and that is by Jigoro, but this is a bit much, don't you think?

Apart form that great chapter again, and it seems it's going to turn into a double date after all :-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Hesmiyu
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Re: Flutter - Level Seventeen: Tag-Out [2/7/16]

Post by Hesmiyu » Sat Jul 02, 2016 5:37 am

I'm not gonna lie, when I first started reading this and it said they were going to meet, I had visions of both Rika and Hisao having their heart flutters, Hisao because of Iwanako, and Rika's because of Hisao's. Yes that's probably cliches.

What you wrote is good and can't wait for next chapter. Keep up the good work :D.
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The line above is true.

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My art: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=10190
Swim story(Currently 11 chapters long) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=10221

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