Flutter - Level Twenty One: Footsies [25/3/17]

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Sharp-O
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Re: Flutter - Boss Level: White Mage [2/5/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Mon May 02, 2016 8:33 am

I know people are going to be expecting light fluff from me and there will be because I love cuteness but one of the themes I wanted to play with this series, and it ties into the video game theme too, is a sort of light world/dark world motif.

Yamaku is a nice little self-contained world of its own for the most part. Apart from the odd character who is a straight up asshole, everyone is kind and accepting because that's basically the whole point of the school (and to a slightly lesser extent, the town below). Rui is part of that world; not only as a doctor but as a parent who has raised a child with a long-term disability. While she could have given Hisao more of a hard time, hearing Rika's description and brief summary of him, she's not going to judge him too harshly right off the bat. If (read: when) Hisao makes the wrong move, rest assured you will see her fierce side. Plus she's Rika's mum and if the dyed hair wasn't enough of an indicator, she's just as weird as her daughter :wink:

Rika herself, especially in regards to the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, is inexperienced. I didn't want her to be as adventurous as other characters I've written and we'll be seeing more of that. I think of her as the kind of character who doesn't think of Hisao as her boyfriend until they've kissed, even though they're clearly dating. Going back to the light world/dark world; Rika lives within her own little bubble of the light world, her comfort zone, and as the story moves forward she's going to be venturing further and further out of that. Whether or not the world outside her bubble reacts positively or negatively and how she will react is one thing I wanted to do.

Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting! I hope you'll enjoy the chapters (and maybe one or two "bonus levels") to come! :D

*Megalovania plays in the distance*

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Re: Flutter - Boss Level: White Mage [2/5/16]

Post by Dash9 » Mon May 02, 2016 11:53 am

Sharp, why must I always notice your updates when I've been up a minimum of 20+ hours already?

typos?
This would [be] one of those times.
My hand glides across the distance between me and Hisao and take hold of his hand delicately...

(pick one?)

Hisao shrugs nods ponderously

?

Few comments, I'd write them in a nicer way, but zzzZZzzzZZzZzzzZZZz.
Rika's mom reminds me a bit of Emi's mom in this chapter with the jokes and teasing (and looking like an older sister rather than a mother).
Any significance to the choice of Italian food?
An ER doctor huh, I sense future plot significance.
"Red-eyes Goth Rika" childhood flashback to a yugioh card there, lol. Aside from that, given her natural appearance, that actually makes a fair amount of sense, I could see her trying to be like a mini-Abby from the show NCIS.

Whelp, that's all I can think of at the moment, I'm REALLY looking forward to where this story is going.
As always, thanks for sharing,
--Dash


P.S. Didn't proofread my post, sorry if it's gibberish.

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Re: Flutter - Boss Level: White Mage [2/5/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon May 02, 2016 12:21 pm

So when did nurse get promoted to doctor?

More importantly, how could Hisao choose Carbonara over Lasagna?
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Re: Flutter - Boss Level: White Mage [2/5/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Mon May 02, 2016 2:48 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:So when did nurse get promoted to doctor?
As Rika said in The New Boy:
“You do realise he’s an actual doctor, right? People only call him the nurse because that’s what it says on the door.” I smirk smugly. It’s true, no one really thinks to ask but it was the first thing I did when I met him.
Mirage_GSM wrote:More importantly, how could Hisao choose Carbonara over Lasagna?
I think we have 5 routes worth of canon showing that Hisao is a poor decision maker :lol:

I also made the corrections Dash noticed :)

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Re: Flutter - Boss Level: White Mage [2/5/16]

Post by Silentcook » Tue May 03, 2016 2:30 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote: More importantly, how could Hisao choose Carbonara over Lasagna?
Through instinctive application of good taste? :twisted:
Shattering your dreams since '94.

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Re: Flutter - Boss Level: White Mage [2/5/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue May 03, 2016 6:17 pm

Well, I guess I'll have to defer to the Cook on culinary matters...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Sun May 08, 2016 7:38 pm

“I want you to know, with all the love I have for you as your friend, that you are fucking retarded.” Fuuka stares at me disbelievingly from the opposite, more open side of the booth. It was Fuuka’s idea to hang out at the Shanghai and I’m starting to regret agreeing to it.

“Tell me what you really think, why don’t you…” I slink back into the plush cushions, arms folded defensively.

“No, seriously, what were you thinking?!” She shakes her hands either side of her head dramatically. “This is, by far, the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. And I include the time Ayumu tried to saw poor Aki in two!”

“Did they ever find Aki’s nipples?” I throw out a joke to divert Fuuka’s attention but it does little to change the course of the conversation. I’m locked into this route now and I guess I have to take my lumps from my companion for my choices before I continue.

“Rika…” Fuuka sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What in the hell do you think this will accomplish? Hisao and this girl…”

“Iwanako.”

“Iwanako — what kinda name is that anyways — meeting up will only end badly for you, girl. She’s his ex! Why are you so damned determined for them to meet up again? I mean, are you high?” Fuuka rambles on and on, again butting her nose into my love life while I just sit there and endure it.

Spending a few days with Hisao in his home city will be really nice; meeting his parents and hanging out with his friends. I mean, yeah, Hisao wants to have a heart to heart with his ex-girlfriend but it’s just to get closure on their relationship.

“Come on, what do you think is going to happen the moment she sees him up and around and looking healthy?” Fuuka posits and I sigh.

“I imagine you’re thinking something sordid but it’s not going to be like that. They broke up! Pretty awfully, I might add. There’s no way anything could happen with them.” I defend Hisao’s honour and Fuuka just rolls her eyes at me.

“All that raw emotion bubbling back up to the surface and you don’t think there’s the slightest possibility that they’ll find themselv-”

“I think you’d be better off stopping there ‘cause I can see Rika launching over the table and giving you a right hiding.” Molly chimes in, the first of the peanut gallery to make a comment but certainly not the last.

“Hisao’s a good guy, Fuuka. I sincerely doubt he’d do anything like that.” Taro mutters, sitting on the opposite side to Molly and looking more than a little uncomfortable. I know the feeling.

“I’m just saying…” Fuuka tries to begin again but I’ve finally had enough and cut her off.

“And I’m telling you; Hisao isn’t going to bang his ex and I don’t appreciate you saying that he will, Fuuka. What the hell is wrong with you?” I growl the question at her, my heckles well and truly up at her… insinuation.

The table goes dead quiet and Fuuka casts her gaze down to her lap, a look of apologetic guilt across her face like the time she broke my Gameboy Advance.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just… worried about you, is all.” She mutters, not raising her head.

“I know but that’s really, reeeeally not cool, Fuuka.” I sigh, furrowing my brow as I take a sip of fruit juice. I can see Molly and Taro exchanging glances in the awkward silence. It’s not their fault they were dragged into this… Again, it was Fuuka leaping before she really looked, just like how she talks without thinking. I’m glad they backed me up but I feel bad about interrupting them for this nonsense.

“I’m just gonna, uh, go to the bathroom…” Fuuka excuses herself and Molly stands a few seconds after.

“That tea’s gone right through me! Back in a mo’!” She laughs and trots after Fuuka, leaving me and Taro to forage for a topic of conversation. I guess I should apologise…

“I’m so sorry about this, Taro. We didn’t mean to interrupt your date.” I say softly only for Taro to react loudly, choking on his drink and spluttering while his eyes go wide in panic.

“Wh-gah-what?! This isn’t a date! It’s not! It’s a totally platonic, non-date thing!” He wheezes quickly, while mopping the spray from the table with a napkin. His cheeks have turned as red as my pupils and I can feel myself going the same way.

“I’m so sorry, Taro, I got the wrong impression. Didn’t mean to embarrass you…” I groan, burying my face in my hands. Ugh, this is turning into just the worst day.

“It’s alright,” He chuckles ruefully with a sad smile. “No harm done, I suppose… You’re not the first to assume; Fuuka has too. Hell, she’s all but petitioning to make it a thing.”

“Yeah, she’ll do that.” I smirk a little while sighing, the two of us locking eyes before laughing aloud.

“I do think she means well, even if she’s a little… insensitive about it.” Taro offers and I nod in agreement. She’s crass, certainly, but she has only ever been a good friend to me. I hope she’s not going to be too lonely here while I’m off on my little adventure.

“What are you doing for the summer break?” I ask Taro curiously.

“I usually head home but I figured I’d stick around this summer; make the most of my last year here, y’know?”

“That’s a nice idea. It’s so weird… I keep forgetting that we’re in two different years.” I admit. It should be always in the back of mind that, eventually, Hisao will graduate and he’ll move on from Yamaku. And I’ll still be here.

“That second year flies by quick! I remember stuff happening last year but it’s mostly a blur. Our first and last years seem to be the most important, what with adjusting to a new environment in the first year and then preparing for the next stage in the third… I guess that’s why I wanna stick around; to make the most of the time I have left.” He chuckles softly, imparting his upperclassman wisdom with a soft smile.

Whether he knows it or not, Taro’s words strike a chord with me. Hisao might only be here for a short while and I don’t really have a solid idea of what I’m going to do when I leave Yamaku but… While both Hisao and I are here, together, I might as well make the most of it.

“You’re pretty smart, Taro.” I compliment him and he looks up from his mug confused.

“Huh? I am?”

“I wouldn’t hang out with you if you weren’t, big guy.” Molly says as she returns from the bathroom, leaning against the outer corner of the booth near Taro. She crosses her arms and looks to me with an unsure expression.

“You may want to have a word with Fuuka… She thinks she’s made a right balls-up by running her mouth off.”

“Is she crying?” I ask, almost wearily.

“Nah, but she could probably use her best mate to calm her down.” Molly smiles reassuringly and I shuffle around the booth to get out. I give a thankful nod to Molly and trot along to the female bathroom.

It’s plainly obvious which of these four burgundy-stained, wooden stall doors my friend hides behind. The closest to the bathroom door is double-wide to accommodate wheelchair users and so, I knock on that particular stall door.

“…Occupied.”

Duh, it’s not like you’re going to climb out of the window.” I respond in jest and I hear a faint snort of amusement.

“Wouldn’t that have just blown your mind though? If I just wasn’t in here?” Fuuka says, her voice echoing slightly.

“That would be impressive. Not as much as you managing to put your entire foot in your mouth but still impressive.”

“Sorry.”

“So you should be. I know you were just looking out for me but still, saying that Hisao would hook up with his ex-gir--”

“I know, I know! It was a shitty thing to say and I’m sorry, alright?! I’ll keep all that shit quiet from now on, ‘kay?”

“Good. Now come and have some cake with me.” I respond, my arms folded across my chest.

The room goes quiet, only the ambient buzzing of the fluorescent lights above filling the silence.

“Can you, uh, give me a minute? It’s kinda hard to go with you making that face on the other side of the door…” Fuuka mutters but the echo makes it loud and clear.

“Oh, right, yeah. Sorry. See you out there.” I blurt out and rush to the door and out into the Shanghai’s main area.

Wait. What face?

-----------

The zombie-like shuffle of students coming out of Class 3-3 is disheartening to say the least. Even the iron-lady student council president looks worn down. As a dark-skinned girl is pushed out by a much smaller cerulean-haired girl with thick bags under her eyes, I spot Hisao following closely behind them.

He tugs at his tie to loosen it and offers a weary smile to me before I wrap my arms around his torso.

“Hey, senpai. What’s got you looking so down?” I ask sweetly and he shrugs.

“Pop quizzes in the last two lessons of the day… English and Social Studies were never my strongest subjects and while I’m getting some special consideration, I’m still playing catch-up… I’m just glad it’s over for now.” He slumps against me a little and I almost feel like I’m the only thing keeping him standing. You can rely on me, Hisao.

A piercing wolf-whistle catches us both off guard as we both look in the direction of the stair-well to see the small sleepy girl trying her hardest to push her friend around the corner as she cat-calls.

“Who…?” I question and see Hisao has turned beet red.

“That would be Miura… The little one is Suzuki. They sit in front of me, next to Molly. Miura’s… well, Molly says she’s…” He clears his throat and tries to affect a British accent. “a beet ah-grow, butt not harf taystee.” Rather badly, it must be said.

“I have no idea what that means.” I look at him blankly and he shrugs.

“Me neither but I think Taro agreed; they’re always chatting in English... Anyway, Miura’s a little loud and abrasive but she’s a good person really, wouldn’t look after Suzuki if she wasn’t. Not a fan of her calling me gaylord though…” I begin snickering at him and he frowns.

“What? It’s funny!”

“You wouldn’t find it funny if I switched teams and believe me, Akio’s tried.” Hisao narrows his eyes before smirking. That’s probably true, given what little I know about Akio’s personality so I drape myself around Hisao’s arm.

“You better not! I might have to be consoled by Fuuka and god only knows what that girl’s ideas for me would be!”

“One can only imagine…” Hisao says wistfully and I swat his shoulder playfully. “Not that I’d do such a thing… Or have…” Setting polyamory aside for the moment…

“Did you get the go-ahead from your folks?” I question, wondering how that particular conversation went.

“Yeah, they’re okay with it. What about your Mom?” Hisao responds with a question of his own, which I answer with a beaming smile.

“Yup! She even offered to drive us down to Sendai Station. I think she was kind of bummed you weren’t staying with us but we have, like, six weeks of free time; would you mind a detour?”

“That’d be nice.” He agrees and I hug his arm a little tighter.

-----------

The summer vacation soon arrives and I find myself in the summer sun, fully sunblocked and wearing the same cute outfit that Hisao likes but with a matching beige baseball cap.

I’m met by Fuuka and Molly in front of the girls’ dorms, both decked out in seasonal outfits. I give Molly a quick hug before bending down to Fuuka and giving her a much tighter squeeze.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She smiles while winking.

“So that leaves me with just about everything then.” I jab back with a smirk.

“Atta girl! I’ll see you when you get back! And be sure to call when you arrive safe!” Fuuka’s voice steadily grows louder as I walk away from the pair, waving back at them.

Hisao and my Mom are already waiting just outside the gates, Hisao visibly flustered and my Mom wearing the face of a cat toying with a mouse.

“Sorry, I’m late! Couldn’t find my backpack.” I apologise while pecking Hisao on the cheek.

“That’s okay, sweetheart. Hisao was here to protect me.” She says in a sickeningly sweet tone.

“What did she do to you? Are you okay?” I fuss over Hisao and he nods sheepishly.

“Nothing… We were just discussing my condition…” Oh my god, Mom, you didn’t… I throw her an incredulous look which she laughs off.

The car ride is thankfully short, as it gives Mom little time to embarrass me and Hisao more; not for lack of trying though. Hisao seems to take it more in stride when I’m also getting it from Mom.

Sendai Station is pretty busy, with lots of other students on their way home, some I know, others I do not. I turn and squeeze Mom tight, a move she returns in kind before kissing my forehead.

“Take care of yourself, Rika.” She speaks softly before pointing at Hisao, who visibly bristles like he was shot with a bolt of electricity. “And you, Mr Nakai, better look out for her.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am.” He nods and she smiles.

“Enjoy the trip home, Hisao.”

“I will, thank you.” He smiles genuinely as I take hold of his hand. “And I’ll look after Rika, don’t worry.”

“I’m sure you will. Have fun, love-birds! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She calls out, earning looks from people around us as she hops back into her car. Me and Hisao drag our luggage up the steps of the station and find the correct platform we need.

We find a spare bench as students rush for the train that just pulled in. I lean against Hisao, my right hand entwined with his.

“You know what? I bet this is going to be fun.” I smile up at him.
Last edited by Sharp-O on Mon May 09, 2016 2:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by swampie2 » Sun May 08, 2016 11:28 pm

My only notes for this chapter are that something has changed with molly... for some reason, my brain just connected the things she was saying in this chapter with the typical chimney sweep English accent. Maybe it's because I'm tired, but she definitely seems to be growing more English. :lol:
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Re: Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon May 09, 2016 4:46 am

I know mid-terms are tough but seeing the faces of some of these guys…
Shouldn't the "mid-terms" be towards the middle of the trimester as opposed to the end of it ?
Also, Rika would probably have her mid- and end-terms as the same time as Hisao.
...,but she’s a good person really, wouldn’t look after Suzuki if she didn’t.
"if she wasn't"

Nothing else to comment on, carry on!
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Re: Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Mon May 09, 2016 7:26 am

swampie2 wrote:My only notes for this chapter are that something has changed with molly... for some reason, my brain just connected the things she was saying in this chapter with the typical chimney sweep English accent. Maybe it's because I'm tired, but she definitely seems to be growing more English. :lol:
You know how in anime people can speak in their natural accents yet are supposed to be speaking in Japanese? That's basically what I'm doing for her here because it's less intrusive than showing when she's using British words like in Monomyth. There's going to be some comical dialogue regarding what she says and how other characters hear her soon.

Also, I'm surprised you haven't commented on the recurring background character that keeps getting referenced :wink:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
I know mid-terms are tough but seeing the faces of some of these guys…
Shouldn't the "mid-terms" be towards the middle of the trimester as opposed to the end of it ?
Also, Rika would probably have her mid- and end-terms as the same time as Hisao.
It was my understanding that mid-terms are taken before the summer vacation in Japan but I can change it if that's wrong for the Yamaku timeline.

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Re: Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon May 09, 2016 8:13 am

Well, I never went to school in Japan, but in the Persona games (both 3 and 4) there are mid-terms and end-terms (finals) in the first and second trimesters.
First Mid-terms around the middle of May, First end-terms end of July, second mid terms in October, second finals in December.

Of course there may be variation between different schools.

In Germany we don't have all tests in the same week but each teacher schedules their tests individually - in fact we have a rule that no more than three tests may be written in one seven-day period - so the concept of writing mid-terms at the end of a trimester is especially foreign to me.
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Re: Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Mon May 09, 2016 8:23 am

Well here's the site I based it off which says:
The students take their midterm exams at the end of May. Since the finals are given in July, that means the students only have a month and a half between midterms and final exams.
I originally put finals in the story but thought that was stupid that he'd be taking finals that early in the year but then the whole system's fucked, man.

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Re: Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon May 09, 2016 11:16 am

But that's exactly the way I described it, isn't it? They have finals at the end of the trimester.
I probably wouldn't have commented on it, but you did have the summer holidays start the very next paragraph - it doesn't get much more end-term than that :-)
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Re: Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by brythain » Mon May 09, 2016 12:02 pm

Sharp-O wrote:Well here's the site I based it off which says:
The students take their midterm exams at the end of May. Since the finals are given in July, that means the students only have a month and a half between midterms and final exams.
I originally put finals in the story but thought that was stupid that he'd be taking finals that early in the year but then the whole system's fucked, man.
They have finals in July and December (and March) because there's a final at the end of each trimester and a mid-term halfway through each trimester too. Six exams a year.

[HERE] — have a look at a typical high school calendar.

Also [HERE] is the calendar for the year Hisao ends up at Yamaku.

Hey, it isn't nice to describe someone else's school system as 'fucked'. It's just different. My mother taught in a Japanese school for 30 years, and it does take some getting used to. If you're serious about understanding the Japanese school system, [THIS] is a terribly big resource, probably a bit too much though.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
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Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
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Re: Flutter - Level Eleven: Re Patra [9/5/16]

Post by Sharp-O » Mon May 09, 2016 2:59 pm

You're right, it's more confusing than outright fucked and I apologise. Those links will prove invaluable at some point (there's always other stories) but I don't think I'll be relying on them this time around.

I'm not going to delve into the school year activities too much because no one really cares (has there ever been a fic that was solely about Hisao trying to keep up with his school work? actually, genuinely asking) and I've edited the story just so it's less contentious. Pop quizzes, the get-out clause of every shit-tier writer! :lol:

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