Alca's One-shots - Out of the Loop (Post-Kenji End) [Update]

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Alca's One-shots - Out of the Loop (Post-Kenji End) [Update]

Post by Alca » Wed Sep 02, 2015 5:14 pm

I've been lurking for a while, but haven't posted anything up until now. I thought I'd create an account and post a little something. There have been a fair few fanfictions taking place after Lilly's neutral ending, but I wanted to come up with something short and sweet revolving around how Hisao and Hanako proceed with their lives. Any feedback is welcome, thanks for reading.


Contents

Passage of Time (this post)

Out of the Loop


Passage of Time

How many months had it been since she left for Scotland? Two, maybe three...? The distinction seems mundane by now. I knew that lingering on the past would do me no good, but whenever I stayed idle for too long my thoughts couldn't help but wander back to Lilly. How was she doing? Was she settling in with her parents? Had she found a new school yet? And the question that had been burning at the back of my mind all this time ― why hadn't she written back yet? She promised that she'd keep in touch, though I had yet to receive a single letter. I would have been content with a simple text message, but she hadn't tried to contact me once. I'd tried calling her myself on the rare occasion that I was actually able to muster up the courage, but even then, it rung through to answerphone each and every time.

I wondered if Hanako had been left in the dark too. Even if she had been receiving letters, I was doubtful that she'd tell me out of fear that it'd hurt my feelings. I had to admit, it would sting quite badly if I found out she had been avoiding me deliberately. Before I was able to continue this train of thought however, the world darkened rather abruptly as I felt someone covering my eyes from behind. No prizes for guessing who the culprit was.

"Hello Misha."

"Aww! How did you know it was me?" She replied cheerfully, pulling her hands away as I turned to face her.

"Lucky guess. I mean this is only the hundredth time you've played that trick after all."

"Wahahaha! Come on Hisao, don't act like you don't find it fun!"

I resisted the urge to stuff my fingers in my ears after her shrill, ear-drum piercing laugh shot through the air like a live round, then took a moment to collect my thoughts before replying.

"That's strange, looks like Shizune isn't with you today. So, did you need something?"

"Shicchan's busy setting up the stalls for the festival. Oh that's right! I've got something for you."

She reached into her pocket and produced a small white envelope.

"We're not supposed to hand out the mail yet, but when I found out who sent it I thought you'd want to read it as soon as possible."

I cautiously took it. The address scribbled on the front confirmed my suspicions. There, at the top of the envelope, read the name Lilly Satou. I gulped and stared at the letter for what seemed like an eternity, until Misha slapped me on the back and brought me to my senses — albeit rather rudely.

"Don't look so terrified! It's like you've just seen a ghost. It can't be that bad, right? Anyway, Shicchan will get upset if I don't give her a hand. See you soon!"

"Yeah... See you."

I cradled the letter protectively and left the courtyard. It didn't take me long to reach the dorms. Luckily Kenji was nowhere to be found and I slipped into my room without trouble. As I entered I noticed a stream of light filtering through the blind. I shut them quickly and flicked on a nearby lamp. It took me a moment to realize how silly it was to get secretive over something like this, it wasn't as if I were handling important documents for the KGB. Nevertheless I slumped into the chair and tore the envelope open, pausing momentarily as I remembered going through a similar experience when reading Iwanako's letter. I unfolded the slip of paper and examined it closely. It seemed to be written quite shoddily, leading me to believe that she had asked Akira to transcribe the letter for her.

Dear Hisao

How are you doing? I trust you're well. If I remember correctly the festival begins around this time of year. I hope you're having plenty of fun.

As for me, things are going quite well. Things were shaky at first but I'm starting to feel more at home. I'm currently being home-schooled as my parents have yet to find any schools capable of catering to blind students. It can get lonely now and then, but Akira spends a lot of time with me these days, and I've already made a few friends. I can't help but think back to Yamaku Academy occasionally. We had a lot of fun, didn't we? I feel like a new chapter of my life is beginning though. The memories we shared were fun, but I'm equally excited to start making some memories of my own.

Before I end this letter, there's something I must confess. While I have been busy settling in with my family, that wasn't the only reason it took so long for me to write to you. The truth is, I've been sending Hanako letters for some time now.


I froze and scrunched the letter in my hand. So it was true after all, she had been avoiding me. I felt a pang in my chest. Even if she did have her reasons, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. After some deliberation I unfolded the letter and hesitantly continued to read.

I didn't know what to say. I feared that if I started writing too soon I might have had the urge to return back to Yamaku, but though it might sound selfish of me to say this, I have my own life to lead. I won't forget you Hisao, but I needed to move on. Still, it'd be nice if I could hear back. I'd like to know what's going on. I trust everything's going smoothly.

I hope we can continue to be friends.

– Lilly


So that was it, the final nail in the coffin. I already knew there was little chance of salvaging our relationship, but this confirmed it. I pondered on her words as I folded the letter and slipped it into the drawer of my desk. Was it really that easy to move on? I wondered if she spent as much time thinking about me as I did her. There was no use being bitter over the whole ordeal, as she said, she had her own life to lead. Maybe it was time for me to start living mine again. I took a slip of paper from my desk and started to write my response when I was suddenly jolted by a knock at the door. I reluctantly stood up and opened it, half-expecting Kenji to be standing on the other side demanding more pizza money.

"H-Hello Hisao."

To my surprise Hanako stood in the doorway. Her eyes darted from side to side like a lost rabbit. She was clearly nervous about being stood outside a boys room, and I couldn't help but find her reaction cute.

"Hanako? Is everything ok? Do you want to come in?"

She nodded nervously and stepped into my room before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Is something the matter? You know girls aren't usually allowed in the boy's dorm. Is it something important?"

"N-No. I just wanted to talk."

It was rare for Hanako to approach me, and equally more surprising for her to break the rules. Something must have been weighing heavily on her mind, so I sat down and waited for her to continue.

"Hisao... There's something I need to tell you. Lilly's been sending me letters for a while... I-I didn't mean to keep it a secret bu-"

"It's ok," I interjected calmly, "I know."

"Huh?"

"I just received a letter myself, it explained everything. I don't blame you for not saying anything. You were just trying to spare my feelings right?"

"Y-Yeah. I didn't mean to hurt you... You know, with everything that's happened..."

She paused for a moment, then looked around my room curiously.

"So, that letter..." she continued, "did it say anything else?"

"Not much. Just that she was settling into her new life, and that she wanted to stay friends."

"I see..."

Hanako made an expression that I wasn't fully able to discern. Worry...? Relief...? She traced the edge of the bed sheets with her finger, then hesitantly shifted her gaze towards me.

"Hisao... Do you want to... With me..."

I felt my cheeks glowing red hot and shifted backwards slightly.

"H-Huh? I didn't quite catch that... D-Do I want to...?

"Do you want to go to the festival with me?"

I was shocked by her question — though not as shocked as what I thought she was about to say. It seems like Hanako really was coming into her own. The Hanako I met back when I first joined Yamaku would have never asked something so forward.

"I'd love to. The festival's tomorrow right? Let's have fun."

It didn't hit me until after agreeing that she was practically asking me out on a date. Her expression lit up slightly as she replied.

"T-That's great. I'll meet you tomorrow morning then."

She stood up and headed towards the door, but stopped for a moment as she glanced over my desk and saw the letter I had begun writing.

"What's that? Homework or something?"

"Yeah, Mutou's been piling the work on these days..."

"O-Oh, so that's what it is. Well, see you tomorrow."

She appeared to accept my answer and smiled as I waved her goodbye. I wondered what made me lie. It wasn't as if I had anything to hide. Maybe I just didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I sat down at the desk and picked up the pen once more but hesitated as I brought it down towards the paper. After some consideration I screwed the unwritten letter up then threw it into the trashcan. It was time to start moving forward again.
Last edited by Alca on Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:54 am, edited 7 times in total.

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Re: Passage of Time (Post-Lilly Neutral Ending) [One Shot]

Post by Decadent Albatros » Wed Sep 02, 2015 6:06 pm

First of all, welcome to this hole and I hope you enjoy your stay here. Before I get in commenting the one-shot, I advise you to open up a thread for all of them instead of a thread per one-shot (in you plan on doing this, then never mind me saying this :lol: ).
Right, the work... the premise doesn't bother me, a good post-Lilly neutral ending ffic/one-shot is always appreciated in my book, especially if we get some Hisao and Hanako goodness! Thought, is 6/7 months necessary? I would, if I were in you, cut it down but it didn't affect TOO much my enjoyment, so take this tip as you want. Passing on, I like that Hisao kind of got past the initial pain but I know how he feels and stuff like those are hard to forget; at least Misha's there to cheer him up, right? :D I like supportive Misha, it works and it also puts a smile on my face. As for the letter part, it hurt but in a way Hisao got the better end of it, since it could've still gone worse, huh? At least in my opinion x:
Hanako being bold enough to ask Hisao on a date is kind of amusing, but hey it's not surprising given the time that you put in between the route and this one-shot. In the end, well done by leaving it open but still putting an end to the main goal, and that is the mess of a relationship that is post-neutral Hisao x Lilly.

All in all, I liked it a lot and I hope to see more of this! :D
P.S.: this might be the longest comment I wrote here. The power of best gi-I mean Hanako, huh? :lol:

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Re: Passage of Time (Post-Lilly Neutral Ending) [One Shot]

Post by swampie2 » Wed Sep 02, 2015 6:08 pm

Is it something important."
Is it something important?

I think that Hanako would have kept the fact that she was getting letters secret until her grave, even though she comes out of her shell, I think she'd be far to anxious that Hisao might be angry at her.

Aside from that, it's a nice little piece!
One Shots - My stories thread.

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Re: Passage of Time (Post-Lilly Neutral Ending) [One Shot]

Post by dewelar » Wed Sep 02, 2015 6:27 pm

First of all, welcome to the forums!

Not a bad little story. Who knew Akira had such lousy penmanship :D? A couple nitpicks:
Decadent Albatros wrote:Thought, is 6/7 months necessary?
Not to mention that, since Lilly leaves Yamaku in early August, 6-7 months later would set this story in February/March, which is almost graduation time in Japan.

Also, a pet peeve of mine:
Alca wrote:...would of...
...might of...
...should be "would have" and "might have".
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!


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Re: Passage of Time (Post-Lilly Neutral Ending) [One Shot]

Post by Alca » Wed Sep 02, 2015 6:37 pm

Decadent Albatros wrote:First of all, welcome to this hole and I hope you enjoy your stay here. Before I get in commenting the one-shot, I advise you to open up a thread for all of them instead of a thread per one-shot (in you plan on doing this, then never mind me saying this :lol: ).
Right, the work... the premise doesn't bother me, a good post-Lilly neutral ending ffic/one-shot is always appreciated in my book, especially if we get some Hisao and Hanako goodness! Thought, is 6/7 months necessary? I would, if I were in you, cut it down but it didn't affect TOO much my enjoyment, so take this tip as you want. Passing on, I like that Hisao kind of got past the initial pain but I know how he feels and stuff like those are hard to forget; at least Misha's there to cheer him up, right? :D I like supportive Misha, it works and it also puts a smile on my face. As for the letter part, it hurt but in a way Hisao got the better end of it, since it could've still gone worse, huh? At least in my opinion x:
Hanako being bold enough to ask Hisao on a date is kind of amusing, but hey it's not surprising given the time that you put in between the route and this one-shot. In the end, well done by leaving it open but still putting an end to the main goal, and that is the mess of a relationship that is post-neutral Hisao x Lilly.

All in all, I liked it a lot and I hope to see more of this! :D
P.S.: this might be the longest comment I wrote here. The power of best gi-I mean Hanako, huh? :lol:
Thanks for the feedback. I'll just turn this into my main thread then, I edited the title and whenever I write something new I'll post it here instead. I wasn't entirely sure if people usually created new threads for each one-shot or just put them all together.

I think you're correct in saying that 6/7 months was probably a bit too long. I wanted to leave quite a bit of time since Lilly's departure so Hanako's development seemed more realistic rather than just making her suddenly more outgoing, but I could have toned the length down a bit. I should have just made it a few months instead. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it.
swampie2 wrote:
Is it something important."
Is it something important?

I think that Hanako would have kept the fact that she was getting letters secret until her grave, even though she comes out of her shell, I think she'd be far to anxious that Hisao might be angry at her.

Aside from that, it's a nice little piece!
Thanks for spotting that mistake, I did proof-read it a few times but must have missed it.

I think you're probably right, it might of been a bit out of character for Hanako to reveal the letters. It seems more likely that she'd keep it to herself. If I were to go back and rewrite it that's probably something I'd change.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
dewelar wrote:First of all, welcome to the forums!

Not a bad little story. Who knew Akira had such lousy penmanship :D? A couple nitpicks:
Decadent Albatros wrote:Thought, is 6/7 months necessary?
Not to mention that, since Lilly leaves Yamaku in early August, 6-7 months later would set this story in February/March, which is almost graduation time in Japan.

Also, a pet peeve of mine:
Alca wrote:...would of...
...might of...
...should be "would have" and "might have".
It's been quite a while since I've read through Lilly's route so I forgot the exact date when she left, I should have probably looked it up first so thanks for pointing that out.

Also thanks for pointing out that grammatical error. I know the difference between the two but still find myself making that mistake fairly often, I'll have to be more careful.
Sharp-O wrote:Not bad, Alca! Hope to see more of your work soon. Welcome to the boards!
Thanks, I appreciate it.

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Re: Alca's One-shots - Passage of Time (Post-Lilly NE]

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Wed Sep 02, 2015 6:39 pm

The premise is sound, and on whole it's a nice story -- but, yeah, I'll have to join in on the timing issue...

If the festival referred to in the short is the same Yamaku Festival portrayed in Act 1 of the VN, then Hisao and the gang should have already have graduated and left for university. (Unless, that is, everyone was so distraught by Lilly leaving that they all failed and had to repeat a year... :D )

On the other hand, I would imagine that Yamaku Academy would have more than one festival during the school year...
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
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Re: Alca's One-shots - Passage of Time (Post-Lilly NE]

Post by Alca » Wed Sep 02, 2015 6:44 pm

Oscar Wildecat wrote:The premise is sound, and on whole it's a nice story -- but, yeah, I'll have to join in on the timing issue...

If the festival referred to in the short is the same Yamaku Festival portrayed in Act 1 of the VN, then Hisao and the gang should have already have graduated and left for university. (Unless, that is, everyone was so distraught by Lilly leaving that they all failed and had to repeat a year... :D )

On the other hand, I would imagine that Yamaku Academy would have more than one festival during the school year...
Thanks for reading, and yeah I kind of messed up with the dates. I'll have to watch out for that next time.

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Re: Passage of Time (Post-Lilly Neutral Ending) [One Shot]

Post by dewelar » Wed Sep 02, 2015 7:19 pm

Alca wrote:
dewelar wrote:
Decadent Albatros wrote:Thought, is 6/7 months necessary?
Not to mention that, since Lilly leaves Yamaku in early August, 6-7 months later would set this story in February/March, which is almost graduation time in Japan.
It's been quite a while since I've read through Lilly's route so I forgot the exact date when she left, I should have probably looked it up first so thanks for pointing that out.
Not so much an exact date, but an extrapolation. We know that Lilly is in Scotland to visit her aunt on 7/10 (Hanako's birthday), then she comes back, they go to Hokkaido, and then they date for a bit before she leaves again. One of the posters here, ProfAllister, drew up a pretty good timeline here.
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Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Passage of Time (Post-Lilly Neutral Ending) [One Shot]

Post by Alca » Wed Sep 02, 2015 8:16 pm

dewelar wrote:Not so much an exact date, but an extrapolation. We know that Lilly is in Scotland to visit her aunt on 7/10 (Hanako's birthday), then she comes back, they go to Hokkaido, and then they date for a bit before she leaves again. One of the posters here, ProfAllister, drew up a pretty good timeline here.
Ah thanks, that post helped put things into perspective a bit. 6/7 months was definitely too long. It started bothering me so I cut it down to 2/3. Hopefully it shouldn't clash now. To be honest the number was somewhat arbitrary but I should have put more thought into it.

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Re: Alca's One-shots - Out of the Loop (Post-Kenji End) [Upd

Post by Alca » Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:54 am

Here's a little update. I decided to write a little something after the events of 'Kenji's ending', a.k.a Manly Picnic. I wanted to entertain the notion of Hisao surviving the fall and came up with this. It's not exactly supposed to be taken seriously, but thanks for reading.

Out of the Loop

"We should go trolling for women."

"Huh...? Rolling women?"

Kenji took a step forward, bringing himself uncomfortably close to my face. His ethanol-scented breath was almost enough to knock me out cold.

"No thanks."

"Not in the mood for love?"

"Not particularly"

I took a step back, but to my frustration Kenji drew close again and I found myself pinned against the chain-link fence.

"Hey, you shouldn't lean against the fence man. It's dangerous."

"And who's fault is that? Why are you so close?!"

I attempted to push him away, but in my drunken stupor only succeeded in tripping over my own feet. I fell back and grabbed at one of the fence-posts, feeling it give way the moment I shifted my weight onto it. Kenj's face inexplicably started to become smaller and smaller — a fact that offered some relief at least. It took me a few moments to come to the realization that I had been hurtling towards the ground. Ah. A truly fitting end to such a bad da-

My train of thought was interrupted by the deafening sound of crunching bones. I don't remember much about what happened after that. I awoke in a hospital room, not knowing what day it was, or month for that matter. Half of my entire body had been covered in a cast. I attempted to climb out of bed but gave up upon realizing my legs were non-responsive. It also appeared that I had been hooked up to some sort of ventilator, the cables of which connected to a nearby life-support machine that bleeped incessantly. Here I was again, confined to the hospital, all hope of leading a normal life flushed down the drain.

"Ah Nakai. You're awake I see?"

A young doctor entered the room, waving his clipboard around as he approached my bed.

"What happened?" I replied weakly, struggling to speak due to the ventilator.

"There was an accident. You fell from the roof of your school. It's a miracle you survived, you're a very lucky man Hisao."

Funny. I don't feel very lucky.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Two months. We had to put you into a medically induced coma in order to save your life."

"Two months?!" I accidentally burst out, "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Well, we'll have to keep you here to monitor your recovery. Your legs were severely damaged. We'll have the best physical therapists working with you, but you have to understand the extent of your injuries, it could be likely that you won't walk again. Your rib cage was broken in several places also, I'm afraid it might be some time before you're able to leave."

My heart froze. I wasn't prepared to spend months on end in this hell again.

"How long...?"

The doctor shook his head and attempted to skirt around the question.

"We don't know. At this point it's just a guessing game. I know you must be anxious to leave, but please bear with us. In the meantime, you have a visitor to see you."

"A visitor? Let them through."

I naturally assumed that the visitor in question would be one of my parents. Imagine my horror when the door opened to reveal Kenji.

"Here he is. This young man is the one who called the ambulance. When we were filling out the forms regarding your next of Kin he listed himself as one of your emergency contacts. Well, I'm sure you have lots of catching up to do. I'll leave you two alone"

Before I could protest the doctor headed for the door and ushered Kenji in. Things couldn't possibly get any worse from here, right?

"Yo. That was quite a nasty fall man, I told you to watch out for that fence," he said, taking a seat beside me.

"...Why did you list yourself as one of my emergency contacts?"

"Us comrades have to stick together! Don't sweat it man, I'm sure you'd do the same for me."

No. I wouldn't.

"Uh sure. Listen, Kenji. I have a bit of a headache right now. Would you mind coming back lat-"

"Hey man, guess what? I've got plenty of free time right now. That means we can stay here and chat all day!" he said excitedly, abruptly cutting my sentence off.

"What are we going to talk about?"

"What else? We're going to take this time to unravel the mystery behind the secret feminist cult. I think they know that I'm onto their plans... Let's solve it together!"

Oh joy.

Kenji must have been rambling for around three hours, though in actuality it felt more like three weeks. Just as I was on the verge of having a mental breakdown, the door slid open. Finally, rescue had arrived. My parents must have finally heard the news. No doubt they would send Kenji out of the room so we could have some privacy.

"Wahahahahahahaha~!"

...

"Hello Hicchan!" Misha roared with a shrill voice that seemed to resemble the sound of a dentist's drill.

I must have died and ended up in purgatory. There was no other explanation. I weakly reached for the life support machine and pulled it towards me. Misha tilted her head and looked at me curiously.

"Hicchan, what's wrong? Do you need help?"

Without saying a word I stretched my arm out and flicked the power switch. The incessant bleeping noise had finally stopped and I could feel my breathing becoming slower and slower. Peace at last... I thought as the world gradually faded into darkness.

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Re: Alca's One-shots - Out of the Loop (Post-Kenji End) [Upd

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Thu Sep 03, 2015 10:06 am

I'll have to admit, I laughed out loud when I read this. Poor Hisao... :twisted:
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
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Re: Alca's One-shots - Out of the Loop (Post-Kenji End) [Upd

Post by Decadent Albatros » Thu Sep 03, 2015 10:24 am

Holy shit, DAMN :o
The one-shot, for how dark it is, it's indeed funny so props to you for succeeding in doing that. Also, Kenji's the best bro and this is the proof! :lol:


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Re: Alca's One-shots - Out of the Loop (Post-Kenji End) [Upd

Post by Skeeve » Fri Sep 04, 2015 11:52 am

Some fates are truly worse than death.

For everything else, there's Manly Picnics on the roof.

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