Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Pseudo Route (Ch. 8, 15/02)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
ComeWhatMay
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:49 am

Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Pseudo Route (Ch. 8, 15/02)

Post by ComeWhatMay » Mon Aug 03, 2015 6:46 am

Table of Contents

Preface

Teaser

Characters

Chapter List

Act 1 ~ Denial

Chapter 1 ~ Fifth Wheel (This Post)

Chapter 2 ~ Disapproval

Chapter 3 ~ Normalcy

Chapter 4 ~ Disapproval - Part 2

Chapter 5 ~ At Once Jaunty and Circumspect

Act 2 ~ Anger

Chapter 6 ~ Mercy! Let her Conscience Guide Her

Chapter 7 ~ Saturday Afternoon - Part 1 - A Yamaku Picnic

Most Recent Chapter:
Chapter 8 ~ Saturday Afternoon - Part 2 - Katawa Shounen

~~~~~

This story begins in the Katawa Shoujo chapter "Pseudo Tea Cozy". Hisao has just finished his game of Risk against the student council, handily beaten by the class president. He declines joining the student council for the time being, and Misha bids him goodbye as he leaves in search of the library.

Act 1 ~ Denial

Chapter 1 ~ Fifth Wheel

One flight of stairs up and I run into problems. The second floor hallway is a carbon copy of the third one. Wide, of course; and plain, like only hallways can be. The library's whereabouts are not as easily determined as one would think.

The classrooms are marked with signs stating which class they belong to, but then, there's a plethora of other, unmarked rooms. Is the library one of them, or just somewhere down the hall? I bet on the latter and choose my direction at random.

After I round the corner, an unmarked door draws my attention because it's not closed. It's not open though, just barely ajar so that I can see it's open and nothing else. I can hear voices and laughter emanating from the room, one is particularly loud, bordering on obnoxious. At the very least I know people are inside and I can ask for directions, no matter how embarrassing that is.

I gingerly push on the center of the door with my fingertips, every muscle in my arm ready to pull back at a moment's notice. The feeling of being an outsider at this school can't be shaken from my mind, so much so that I instinctively fear doing something wrong by entering. The door slowly creaks as if groaning from a deep sleep, though is much easier to open than I anticipated. Leaning over and poking my head even further inside to gain sight of the room as fast as possible, the meek, "Hello...?" on my lips is quickly snatched away.

"THERE YOU ARE LING!"

Startled, my tense and prepared muscles spring into action, I jump backwards. The voice could wake the dead. The owner is a lanky and exceptionally pale boy a full head taller than me. His face is sharp and angled, with pale blue eyes and cropped light brown hair. He wears glasses, big, circular ones balanced on the tip of his nose.

He hops off from his seat atop a desk and is about to approach when he pauses, mid step.

"You're not Ling." He says it flatly, like he's accusing me of something.

Thanks, I'm aware of that.

The door had continued to swing open while we stared awkwardly at each other, revealing another boy just barely shorter than me with messy black hair, leaning against one of the desks. He's not stocky, but he's got a thicker than average build and his rolled up sleeves reveal he's well toned.

"Uh... no, I'm not," I manage to say after a few moments.

The pale boy looks at me patiently, with eyebrows raised, so I continue. "I'm... Hisao, Hisao Nakai. I'm new here."

His face brightens, blue eyes sparkling as if having an epiphany.

"Oh you're that new kid in class 3-3 aren't you! Saw you walkin' around with the class president and her pink haired escort yesterday. Looked like they were givin' you a tour."

"Yeah kinda." I reply, "you saw that?"

"Chick has pink drills dude." Says the muscular one.

Guess that would be kind of hard to miss.

"Nakata Matsuroko, at your service," says the pale boy, closing the distance and offering his hand in greeting. I take his hand and give it a light shake. He seems friendly enough. "Hi... Matsuroko."

He chuckles. "Fuckin' A man you got a stick up your ass? Just call me Nakata."

The muscular boy has his arms crossed, but a grin compensates, giving him a friendly and laid back demeanor. His body language is so conflicting. He raises his chin as well, "I'm Eiichi, Eiichi Inoue. Most people just call me Ichi."

He doesn't approach or offer his hand though, so I just nod in his direction. "Good to meet you."

"What can I do for ya?" Nakata asks.

"I was looking for the library, I-" I would continue, but Nakata cuts me off.

"The library!?" He says, face scrunching up. "C'mon man classes are over! Don't ya get enough reading done in school?"

"I was just thinking of grabbing some books... some reading for while I'm in my room and stuff."

"Are you planning on holing up in your room all day?"

"Well no..." I say quickly. "I-"

This is awkward.

I hear footsteps behind me. Two voices are approaching from the hall, a much welcome distraction. Both girls it sounds like. The voices stop at the doorway, so I turn and scoot to the right so they can enter. On the right is an obviously foreign girl, about the same height as Eiichi, a cane in her right hand and wearing pants instead of the skirt typical of the girl's uniform. Her hair is a dark brown, reaching just past her shoulders, with green eyes and a soft jaw line. She's pretty, but carries a serious expression on her face. The girl that accompanies her is a little shorter, with chin length, curly black hair and brown eyes. She seems a little shy. She's not bookish, she doesn't wear glasses or anything, but she emanates that sort of timid personality.

"Hey!" says Nakata, raising his hand to newcomers.

"Hi Nakata," the timid one says. She glances at me, looking me over. "Who's the newcomer?"

Nakata throws an arm over my shoulder. I feel slightly uncomfortable, but Nakata is so nonchalant that I probably don't feel as uncomfortable as I should.

"Girls, this is Hisao Nakai. Hisao, meet Rebecca," he says, pointing a pale finger at the foreigner, "and Nana," pointing at the timid looking girl.

Nana just nods, smiling, but Rebecca approaches and shifts her cane to her left hand, extending her right, which I take. Her shake is solid, even more solid than Nakata's. "Rebecca Blackburn, good to meet you," she says, dipping her head curtly, "welcome to the freak show."

...wait what? Did she just say that? Her insensitivity catches me completely off guard, and I don't regain my composure in time to respond.

Nana and Rebecca each walk past and take a seat atop one of the desks. After sitting, I notice Rebecca rub her right thigh, the side which she carries her cane, grimacing. She reaches into her pocket and removes a prescription bottle of pills. Popping the cap off, she tilts the entire bottle to mouth, tipping in a couple pills and swallowing. It's weird, seeing prescription medication handled with such nonchalance. At my old school, prescriptions had to be kept in the nurses office, and were only given out at designated times or situations. I guess the nature of this school means some students get special permissions.

She sets the bottle down to fish for something in her pockets. The label is facing me, and I can't help but take a peak. It's decently far away, but the name of the prescription is printed in large, bold letters.

OXYCONTIN

"So about the library..." I say turning to the boy with his arm around my shoulder. I want to get there before it closes. Nakata drops his arm opens his mouth to speak, but a phone ringing interrupts us. Eiichi picks up his cell phone, and brings it his ear. A few moments pass.

"You can't make it?..."

...

"Really man?..."

...

"This is like the fifth time dude..."

...

"Whatever, see you around." He hangs up.

"Ling ain't coming," he says.

"Yeah, sure, working on homework again right?" says Rebecca, rolling her eyes.

Eiichi nods. "Yeah."

Rebecca's voice is sharp and cutting. She shakes her head from her seat on the desk. "I'm getting pretty sick of this. He's lying too, it's not homework. You two are in the same class for God's sake," she says looking at Eiichi. "We end up waiting for the guy until he calls, or more likely, we call him, and he gives us some half-hearted excuse to stay here. It's just a waste of our time."

Nakata sighs. He turns to me.

"About the library... couldn't tell ya man, never been there," he says. His voice suddenly dips into a thick Scottish accent, "but if ya're really intent on goin' ta tha library, thare's a Sco'ish lass the next room ovah, 'avin herself some afternoon tea. She goes by tha name o' Lilly, and 'er friend's a shy one, little cooked on 'er side. 'er names Hanako, real fond a' books, I'm sure she could see ya thar in a jiffy. But... aye thay're good folks, livin' good lives... but slow ones. I'd hate ta' see ya fall into tha company o' such bores lad!"

Little cooked on her side, only one person that could be. Or maybe not, burn victims are probably less rare here than anywhere else... also it seems some at this school aren't as tactful as others.

There's some laughter, but one is pronounced amongst the rest, clear, flutelike, and carefree. It's coming from behind me, so I turn.

I'm stunned into silence. Rebecca is pretty... but the girl standing in the doorway is absolutely beautiful. Auburn hair falls gently on her shoulders, chestnut eyes gazing at me intently. A smile brightens her face, and I almost fail to notice the cane she holds in her left hand. Her entire demeanor is so comforting, she exudes relaxed air of easygoing confidence.

Nakata's arm again slings itself over my shoulder.

"And this, Hisao," holding out an open palm towards the newcomer, "is our Commander-in-Chief. Saki Enomoto!"

Saki giggles, and enters. "Thanks for the introduction Nakata." She posts up between the desks where the others sit and the doorway, where Nakata and I are standing. "And you are?" she asks.

"Hisao. Hisao Nakai."

"Anyways," the pale boy pipes up, "there's a place in town that does karaoke every Tuesday night. It's a bowling alley, so you don't have to be 20 to get in. We're down a man, so how about you join us? Sure beats some dusty books eh?"

I'm really tired. I don't think I'm up for a night out in town, especially on my second day of class. Picking up a good book sounds nice, and I did want to talk to the dark haired girl from my class, the "cooked one" as Nakata so sensitively put it.

"I don't know... I just got here. I kinda feel like getting a book and some rest," I sigh.

"You should come," Saki says, smiling a little wider, "it's good to meet new people." Her voice is so soft, I can't help but smile myself with her beaming directed at me.

Why is it so hard to say no to cute girls?

[A-Go find Lilly]
[B-Join them]


~~~~~

[A>Go find Lilly]

[Pick up Katawa Shoujo at the scene, "Pseudo Tea Cozy".]

~~~~~

[B>Join them]

Saki's chestnut eyes pierce into mine. She gazes at me expectantly... I can't say no to that face.

I sigh. "Alright."

"Awesome!" Nakata exclaims excitedly. "Onwards and upwards!" And the six of us set out.

~~~~~

The walk into town is uneventful. Saki leads the pack while Nakata and Eiichi joke with each other the whole way down, and Nana and Rebecca talk about classes. Saki and I are silent most of the way, only saying a handful of words between the two of us, but probably for very different reasons. Saki because she's comfortable with this group, myself... not so much.

Why did I join these people again?

As we walk, I closely observe my surroundings, mostly out of want for something to do. Yamaku sits three quarters of the way up a large hill just outside of town. The gate has faded into the distance, and I notice we're approaching a convenience store on the right side of the road. We stop there briefly, a few members of our group picking up some snacks and drinks for the walk down. Neither of the clerks, one behind the counter and another stocking shelves, bat an eye at the albino or the canes. A store this close to the school must have its fair share of disabled visitors, so the uniqueness of our party is surely of little surprise.

I still feel a little bitter towards them though. While they're silent now, I'm sure the ten minutes after we leave will be filled with jokes at our expense. A pit forms in my stomach, and I'm left feeling annoyed. Is this really happening? Am I really walking to a night of karaoke in town with an albino and two girls with canes, after losing a game of Risk to a deaf student council president, in place of going to the library and potentially talking to a girl with burns covering half her face? Is this really my life now?

It should be comforting. It should be nice to know that I'm not the only member of this group that has problems, that everyone here is wearing the Yamaku uniform for a reason, but it just irritates me. It's another reminder that I'm different, along with the cocktail of pills I take every morning, the ramps near every staircase for the wheelchair-bound, the extensive and specialized menu of the cafeteria... the awkward beating of my heart. I don't have any outlet though, so my emotions are left to simmer in my mind, muddying my every thought.

I'm left feeling bitter about my entire situation, the lot I was left in life. We're not "different". We're not "unique". We're broken. We're damaged. We don't work like we should and it pisses me off. Now, my parents have sent me to a school literally designed from the ground up to cater to these people. To us. If I had gone back to my old school, kept my old friends, been in the same classes, I could have at least pretended I was still normal, but that's impossible here. There are too many reminders. I've been trying to keep these emotions at bay, and all the activity of the first day and the hounding of the student council had succeeded in doing just that, but silently walking into town as the sun sets left me to my thoughts for a little too long. Trying to distract myself, I keep looking around.

I start to notice how differently Saki and Rebecca use their canes, Saki seems to have hers only for balance, but Rebecca seems to put more weight on her cane than on her leg. Judging by the pain meds I saw earlier, it hurts to use it.

Saki has some sort of balance issue... but that's really all I know.

Nakata has albinism. I've heard of it before, but never seen one.

Eiichi and Nana though, I'm stumped. They don't have any obvious handicap. Maybe it's something like mine, something potentially life threatening that you would never guess they had unless you asked... or it was too late. I don't want to think about this anymore.

~~~~~

We finally reach the bowling alley. "Town Ten Pin" it's called.

It's pretty active inside. The sound of bowling balls striking the wooden floor, the rumble as they careen down the lane, and the crash of the strike against the pins joins the sounds of laughter and chatter and jumbles into a cacophony of sound. There's a sizable arcade to the left of the doorway, flashing lights and beeps adding even more to the mayhem. On the right is a large, dimly lit room, tables randomly spaced and a set of couches in a far corner. A small stage occupies the other corner, speakers surrounding it and a DJ setting up nearby.

Saki makes a beeline for the couches, and the rest of us follow. She takes a seat, while the boys make their way to the DJ. They start flipping through a large book, probably a song list or something. The two girls are still talking amongst themselves, so I take a seat across from Saki. I lean my head back into the couch and close my eyes. Damn I'm tired.

"So Hisao, where are you from?"

I open my eyes, but I don't have the energy to sit up, so I just look down at the speaker.

Saki is leaning forward with her head in her palms, elbows resting on her knees. Guess the time for being antisocial is over.

"South of here, went to a small school you probably haven't heard of. Not really much to tell," I say with a chuckle, "I'm pretty boring." I really don't want this to be about me, I don't think I'm comfortable talking about myself much with this group yet. They invited me after all, and I kinda want to know some more about them.

"I'm actually kind of curious where you guys are from though," I say, pointedly looking at Rebecca.

She laughs. "So you figured out I'm not fully Japanese then?"

"Well it's pretty obvious you're a foreigner," I reply, "you're really white- I, uh, I mean..."

Damn. I pause. It seems that Nakata and Eiichi have finished whatever they were doing by the DJ and the albino has just taken a seat right next to me. Foot in mouth...

"You serious..." He says, lowering his head and looking at me with a straight face. "If you're gonna walk around campus changing how you talk for every person at this school, you're gonna stumble all over your words. We're both white and we both know it, just talk normal man." He chuckles, and there's the arm over my shoulder again. "Hell, making awkward changes to your speech just brings attention to it. We don't care, why should you?"

Even through my frustration, this group is starting to grow on me. Saki and Nakata are so welcoming, and hanging out at a bowling alley reminds me of all the afternoons my old friends and I would spend at the local arcade. Familiar setting, but unfamiliar people. Maybe I can change that. I really should.

I force a smile. "Alright alright man! It's just weird ya know? I'm not used to this sort of thing."

"Yeah," he says shrugging, "it's a weird school for weird people. You gonna accept it? Or just feel sorry for yourself?"

Were it so easy...

I just nod. Eager to get back to the previous conversation, I look back to Rebecca. "So if you're not fully Japanese, where are you from?"

"Well I was born here in Japan, and my mom's fully Japanese, but my dad isn't."

I cock my head curiously, and she continues. "He's in the US Navy, pretty high up there too. Command Master Chief of Carrier Strike Group Five," she says, obviously proud. I don't know exactly what that means, but it sounds pretty cool. Explains her serious personality as well.

"He got stationed in Misawa right out of boot camp, where he met my mom. After that he requested that he keep being stationed here in Japan, and they eventually got married. I was born a few years later."

"Have you ever been to the US?"

"A few times, yeah, mostly to the west coast. It's really not that different from here." She says.

"Cool. Do you speak English?"

"Yup, fluently. My dad insisted that I learn it growing up, so I was raised bilingually."

"Awesome! I might have some questions come exams for you then," I say, only half joking.

"Yeah get in line buddy," Eiichi says with a smile.

The conversation continues, and Nakata is called up to the stage for his turn singing. He's pretty good, and in turn, Eiichi, and Nana follow suit. This company is much more laid back than the student council is, and I can feel myself relaxing a bit. I actually feel like I'm in the company of high schoolers, and while we still stick out like a sore thumb, this may be as close to normal as it gets here. While Nana is finishing her song, Saki turns to me.

"Are you going to take a turn, Hisao?"

Not that relaxed. I'd really rather not... it's getting late, and while these people seem ok, I'm by no means totally comfortable with them yet. Besides, we have classes tomorrow.

"Shouldn't we be getting back soon? I mean... we do still have class tomorrow morning."

Eiichi pulls out his phone. "Oh man, it's 11:30. We really should head out soon."

"Is there a curfew?" I ask.

"Yeah, but it's not strongly enforced. They don't like us wandering around after midnight, but the school only has a few people on patrols, just in case some of the narcs start sleepwalking or any guys are trying to get into the girls dorms. You can get written up if they catch you a bunch of times, but once or twice isn't something to worry about."

It doesn't sound like we'd be in trouble, but I still don't want to get caught breaking any rules my first week at Yamaku. I voice my concern to the group, and they're understanding.

Nana finishes her song, and we leave the establishment a few minutes later, starting a brisk pace up the hill. Well, as brisk as you can get with two canes in the group. Still, it's pretty fast, and the hill is steeper than it seemed going down. I should be fine though. The school isn't that far away.

Further up the hill, my breathing is getting heavy and ragged. I don't want to slow the group down though. I press on, but start to lag behind a little bit.

I need to catch up, so I quicken my pace to a light jog. Come on... I can do this. My feet are dragging. My chest feels tight. My pulse is quick, and irregular as usual. Wait... not this irregular.

I double over, one hand on my knee and the other massaging my chest. I breathe deeply.

"Whoa there dude!" I hear Eiichi's voice.

I glance up. The group has turned around, and Eiichi and Nakata are approaching me. I wave them off with the hand that was on my knee, but they ignore it. Eiichi breaks into a jog, and this time its him who puts his arm around me, for support instead of camaraderie.

Nakata stands in front of me, bent down a bit.

"You alright man?" Concern fills his voice.

"Yeah I'm fine..." I reply, "I just need a second."

I close my eyes and put both hands on my knees, concentrating on my heartbeat and my breath. Slow and steady... dammit, this is what I should look like after a mile run, not a leisurely walk back from town. My heartbeat starts to slow, and I'm able to catch my breath over the next minute or so.

"You need any help? Should we call someone?" asks Eiichi.

His arm is still around me. I shrug it off.

"I'll be fine. I just needed to catch my breath is all."

They don't look convinced.

"You sure?" says Nakata, "we could-"

"I said don't worry about it," I snap.

That was probably a little harsh. Still, I don't want to think about it, let alone talk about it. Nakata takes the hint.

He shakes his head. "Whatever man. Let's go."

We continue back up to Yamaku, slowing the pace considerably. They try to hide it, but I notice both Eiichi and Nakata keeping a close eye on me the rest of the way. Even Saki and Nana can't help but glance from time to time. The bitterness slowly starts to return.

I hate this feeling. I hate feeling... not feeling, knowing that I need to be watched and catered too. I hate knowing that other people have to go out of their way to make sure I'm safe. I feel like a child under constant observation. No Hisao, you can't eat that. Don't run too fast Hisao, you might hurt yourself. You shouldn't do that Hisao, it might be dangerous. It's embarrassing, emasculating, and unfair.

We spend the rest of the walk up in silence.

~~~~~

We approach the dorms, and the group stops at the split between the girls and boys dormitories to say their goodbyes. Nana and Eiichi peel off, obviously tired and ready for some shut eye, but Rebecca, Nakata, and Saki stay for a moment, deciding on when to meet up and finish some homework. I break off too, tired and a bit disappointed in myself for handling the situation earlier the way I did, but a voice calls out to me.

"Hey, Hisao."

I turn around, hands in my pockets. Saki's eyes pierce my own, her ever-present smile still managing to lighten my own mood, if only a little.

"See you around okay?"

I smile, and give a little nod. "See you around."

Next Chapter ~ Disapproval
Last edited by ComeWhatMay on Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:54 am, edited 60 times in total.
Come What May - Cliché No matter what might happen.

Currently writing Can You Accept Your Fate? Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route. 34,000 words and counting.

Oh you wear your facade so well, covered up in your plastic shell

User avatar
ComeWhatMay
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:49 am

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by ComeWhatMay » Mon Aug 03, 2015 6:49 am

Preface

About three weeks ago, I saw the April Fools post for the first time since I played this VN a year ago. Saki immediately jumped out at me, and I was pretty disappointed a route featuring her was never released. Having recently found myself reading a fair bit of Katawa Shoujo fan-fiction, I decided to search for a Saki route, but the ones I found were criminally short. I see so much potential in this character, and with this piece, I hope to flesh some of it out. The following is a list of the things I am keeping in mind as I write this route. In writing this story, there's some things about Katawa Shoujo, both the game and its fan-fiction, that I want to address and achieve.

1. Hisao's heart condition.

In the visual novel, Lilly's route is the only one that really addresses Hisao's heart condition and how it affects him and his personality. In Emi's route, it makes sense that his heart would be less problematic, but the other routes don't have this excuse. I was disappointed that Hisao's own issues received so little screen time, as a good relationship should be both give and take. This concept was utilized wonderfully in Lilly's route, and I aim to do the same.

2. Thematic consistency.

Good fiction teaches a lesson or makes an argument. The great thing about visual novels is that the author has the chance to test the reader on what they should have learned. You get a good ending if you pass, and a bad ending if you fail. One of the issues I've noticed in reading fan-fiction pseudo-routes is that choices often do not align with the themes the story has been following. This makes choices and the subsequent endings seem arbitrary, and weakens the message of the story. I've come up with some definite themes that I want to explore with this story, and I hope they come across.

3. Fucking dudes.

Let me clarify. Sorry Yaoi fangirls (-boys?), but no, I do not mean having sex with dudes, so you'll have to scratch that itch somewhere else. What I mean is male characters that are actually relevant to the story. Ones who have character arcs and show up in more than 4 or 5 scenes and are there for more than just comic relief (looking at you Kenji). The male characters of Katawa Shoujo, both in fan-fiction and the visual novel itself, have a habit of being only tangentially related to the storyline [Katawa Shoujo spoilers]Hakamachi, Shizune's dad or dead [Katawa Shoujo and Scissorlips Suzu Route spoilers]Emi's dad, Suzu's brother Seiji. Besides, I am a guy, I know more guys than I know girls, so writing guys will come a fair bit easier.

4. "Normal" high school students.

I mean this in a few ways.

First, almost all of the Katawa Shoujo main characters are "the best" in something. We have the track star, an artistic prodigy, the class president, and even one of the two "average" students is still class representative. Hanako's route admittedly doesn't feature this, and it helps relate a fair bit. I have decided to take a ToraDora/Shirobako approach to writing this story. The characters I have chosen are not "the best" at what they do. We don't have any sports stars or prodigy musicians or top dogs in the student government, they're normal students going through High School (or as normal as it gets at Yamaku). Much like ToraDora and Shirobako, I don't think I need to include these features to weave interesting characters, and I think characters like this are easier to relate too.

Second, characters in Katawa Shoujo and most of the fan-fiction I have read based on it are so straight edge you could use them as a ruler. When I was in High School, I knew people who drank, dabbled in drugs, and from the research I've done, underage drinking is so common in Japan it isn't even considered a problem. Alcohol is sold in vending machines and convenience stores never card. More importantly, certain illicit substances have shown the potential to lighten the load from symptoms of the conditions some of these characters face, and this will absolutely be touched on in this fan-fiction. As said above, my characters are not class presidents or representatives or the face of the track team, they don't have an image that they need to uphold. If anyone has a reason to drink, it's teenagers with disabilities bad enough to land them in a "special school" with lax security. This isn't a party or a porno fic, but these conditions do make one more likely to "live in the moment", and I intend to approach these topics in a realistic manner.

This story has been a blast to write so far, and the research has been enlightening. I'm trying to make this story as realistic as possible, and I have done significant research into each of my main characters conditions. In particular, I would like to thank doctors at both the Genetic and Rare Diseases information center (GARD) and the National Ataxia Foundation (NAF) for taking the time to correspond with me regarding the heroine's terrible disease. Spinocerebellar ataxia is a genetic neurodegenerative disease that leaves the doors wide open for some incredible stories, and I hope to breathe some life into this character.
Last edited by ComeWhatMay on Sun Jul 10, 2016 4:37 am, edited 6 times in total.
Come What May - Cliché No matter what might happen.

Currently writing Can You Accept Your Fate? Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route. 34,000 words and counting.

Oh you wear your facade so well, covered up in your plastic shell

User avatar
swampie2
Posts: 430
Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2015 3:05 pm
Location: The united states of Britan

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by swampie2 » Mon Aug 03, 2015 7:15 am

"Fuckin' A man you got a stick up your ass? Just call me Nakata."
This cracked me up, great line.
Eiichi Inoue
Related to Naomi Inoue?

Very nice writing on the walk into town, I loved it. Hisao's monologue about being broken was fantastic. Looking forward to seeing some continuation on this, I like it a lot.
One Shots - My stories thread.


User avatar
ComeWhatMay
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:49 am

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by ComeWhatMay » Tue Aug 04, 2015 2:53 am

Related to Naomi Inoue?
Perhaps distantly, but they're by no means brother or sister. Cluster headaches and epilepsy are neurological conditions that have little tendency to run in families. Epilepsy shows little evidence of genetic origin, and while cluster headaches have shown the potential to be passed down in an autosomal dominant fashion, it's very rare. The chances of two children in the same family developing two severe, disabling, unrelated neurological conditions is so low that making these two siblings would be rather unrealistic.
Very nice writing on the walk into town, I loved it. Hisao's monologue about being broken was fantastic. Looking forward to seeing some continuation on this, I like it a lot.
Thanks! I'm having a blast writing this, glad some people are enjoying it so far.
Come What May - Cliché No matter what might happen.

Currently writing Can You Accept Your Fate? Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route. 34,000 words and counting.

Oh you wear your facade so well, covered up in your plastic shell

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 5775
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Aug 04, 2015 8:10 am

Oh, this is supposed to be part of that other piece you posted a while back... Why did you make a new thread? It took me until you mentioned "cluster headaches" to make the connection...

Writing is very good, and the characters are interesting, though I can't help but be pulled out of the story everytime Nakata opens his mouth. His way of talking seems more suited to the deepest Bronx than Yamaku - or really any part of Japan altogether...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
Alpacalypse
Posts: 436
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:00 am
Location: Britbongistan

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by Alpacalypse » Fri Aug 07, 2015 4:09 am

*facedesk*
I come back from holiday and now there're suddenly two well-written Saki routes to follow. Oh boy.

Anyway, this is good! I like seeing Saki stories around the board - they're at the very least an interesting read, and this looks like it's going to be a lot more than that, so I'll probably be keeping tabs on this one. :wink:

Also, IIRC, all these kids are in the "we're gonna die" club, right? That explains a lot :(

Good show, old boy! *tips hat*
I am the harbinger of your destruction... By herbivorous, mountain dwelling quadrupeds... fear me
---
I also write now, apparently. Since everyone else does it, I'm putting it here
---
I have also discovered that I'm a decent proofreader. Anybody with SPaG problems is free to PM me their work for a thorough analysis and/or evisceration. Depends on how I'm feeling.

User avatar
ComeWhatMay
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:49 am

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by ComeWhatMay » Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:21 am

Chapter 2 ~ Disapproval

The blaring of my alarm draws me kicking and screaming from my slumber. I roll onto my stomach and cover my head with my pillow.

Please no...

It's been a long time since I've felt this exhausted. At the hospital, I was practically confined to my bed, so the opportunity to get out and about is more than welcome, but I may have been up a little too late last night. I got back to my room at around 12:45, and promptly realized I still had homework. Like yesterday, the material wasn't difficult, but there was a lot of it, and I didn't get to sleep until an hour and a half later. Now, waking up less with less than five hours of sleep, my eyelids feel like they're made of lead.

I force myself awake, and begin my morning routine. Shower, brush teeth, pills...

Fuck. I love how I can always count on a morning reminder as to why I'm here, which sends my thoughts to the walk back from town yesterday. I cringe slightly when I remember how I treated the people I had just met. I really should apologize to Eiichi and Nakata, they were only trying to help. They have no idea what my condition is, or how serious danger I may or may not have been in, so they were taking the necessary precaution. Having the new kid die with them the first week in attendance probably wouldn't look too good. I don't even know if I'll see them again though. I don't know where any of them live, I didn't ask which class they were in, and I don't have any of their numbers. I'll probably see them around school though. It's a big place, but the student body is actually pretty small.

I sling my backpack over one shoulder and make my way out of the boys dormitories. With bags under my eyes, I cross the grounds to class.

~~~~~


I shuffle into class like a zombie, unfortunately a few minutes late. I shrug off the stares of my classmates as I approach my desk, but Shizune locks her eyes with mine and crosses her arms, tapping her fingers. She reminds me of a librarian, silently scolding a student mishandling her books. I guess I'll be hearing from her, or rather, Misha, later.

Mutou looks at me expectantly. "Nice of you to join us Nakai."

"Sorry... missed my alarm."

"I see. Do try to make it on time please."

I just nod to him, too tired to do anything else, and take my seat.

Mutou goes back to his lecture, and the girl with the burns interrupts about ten minutes in, silently walking to her desk with her head hung low and hair covering her face. What was her name? Nakata mentioned it yesterday... Hanako I think it was. It seems her act is working, as Mutou continues without breaking stride and no one in the class other than me even seems to notice her enter. What gives? When I walked in it felt like my entrance was announced with a fanfare of trumpets and a spotlight. I guess she does this enough that no one cares anymore.

With Mutou's droning in the background, I can't help but be get distracted, and my eyes follow her to her desk. After sitting, she glances around tentatively. Noticing me, she jumps a little, and returns her gaze low. She's so shy... there must be some emotional baggage from whatever caused her scars.

I return my attention to the teacher, who is instructing us to form groups of two to four and complete a worksheet he just passed out. My glance flits to Shizune... who is glaring at me, arms still crossed and fingers still tapping away. What on earth did I do?

She stands and signs firmly to Misha. "Okay okay I'm moving!" says Misha, who starts hopping her desk towards mine in short jumps while remaining seated. The banging of the desk legs on the hardwood floor is so loud and obnoxious. I've already come to expect nothing less from the girl with pink drills for hair.

Shizune shifts her desk such that it's facing mine, sits, and continues her death glare. She signs forcefully, directly at me. Misha translates in her typical bubbly voice, "So how was the library Hisao?"

Misha translates it like an honest question, but Shizune's body language implies sarcasm. The disconnect throws me off.

"I didn't actually find the library, went into town instead," I reply.

Shizune leans in and signs some more. "With who?" Misha says, cheerfully oblivious. Misha certainly has sign language down, but translating the context of her friends speech could use some work...

"Just some people I met yesterday. What's the problem?"

Shizune sits back, looking disappointed. "You shouldn't be hanging out with such delinquents Hicchan, Wahaha~! They're not delinquents Shicchan! Sure, they're not at the top of their class, but that isn't a bad thing!" Misha turns to me, "Nakata is in the same class as Shicchan's cousin, his friends have a bit of a reputation."

Misha signs even while she's talking to me. It makes sense, I assume she doesn't want Shizune to feel like she's being left out of the conversation. It strikes me that this is probably the only situation where a person could simultaneously speak two different languages at the same time, and that this is one of very places where such a rare occurrence would happen with any regularity. The thought is quickly forgotten as I realize Shizune is replying.

"Shizune says that those guys miss class a lot. You shouldn't start hanging out with people like that when you just got here. Shicchan, I think it's a good thing that Hicchan is meeting new people!"

It's even weirder when she talks to Shizune with me around. Since the "left out of the conversation" bit works both ways, when she's translating for Shizune and then giving her own reply, it sounds for all the world like she's talking to herself. Thankfully, she only signs when she's talking for herself, so I can tell when the translation stops and her reply begins.

"Thank you Misha," I say, it's nice to have someone on my side. "Wait, how do you even know who I went out with yesterday?"

"We are the Student Council Hicchan," Misha says mysteriously. "We have our ways!"

These two are crazy. Do they have informants all over the school or something? A network of spies who all report to the Student Council? May Kenji is onto something with his whole feminist conspiracy thing...

More signing from Shizune prompts further translation, "You're disappointing me Hicchan, I thought you were made of sterner stuff. Maybe you aren't cut out for the Student Council after all!"

"Hey! Didn't I say yesterday I didn't promise anything? I want to see what else the school has to offer before I settle on anything. And Misha, what do you mean by a 'reputation'?"

Misha picks up her pencil puts the eraser at the corner of her mouth, looking upwards, deep in thought. I assume it's a sight you don't see very often.

"Well, they're definitely not delinquents... but a few of them are a bit lower in class rankings, and they've been known to skip school a couple of times. They're mostly in different classes, so none of the teachers have put it together, but word gets around us students, so we know when they're all gone from class on the same day~!"

"What do they do?"

"Well I don't know Hicchan! As I said, we only know Nakata because he's in the same class as Lilly. I'm sure they're not studying for exams though, Wahaha~!"

Probably not. I recognize that name though... "Hang on, Lilly? Is she Shizune's cousin? I heard she was from Scotland?"

"Lilly's only half Scottish, but how did you know that Hicch-Ow! What was that for Shicchan~? That hurt! Oh, right-"

She's is interrupted by a sharp jab from Shizune, and the class president raises her arms in confusion. It seems that Misha had briefly forgotten her duties as translator, and with all the signing, I imagine she's catching Shizune up on our short conversation.

Shizune replies, looking annoyed now. "Yes Hicchan, Lilly is my cousin, and of course she allows Nakata's behavior in her class, but I won't allow such delinquency in here!" Misha starts signing again quickly, interjecting some context while Shizune continues, "By the way Hicchan, Lilly is class 3-2's representative, but anyways," back to translating, "Were you late this morning because of them?"

"No, I... well- maybe. We just got back a little late, and I forgot we had some homework to do."

Shizune sits back, folds her arms and shakes her head. She can't stay like that for long, since her reply necessitates the use of her hands. "You shouldn't start out at a new school like this Hicchan, you have to hit the ground running!"

I'm about to reply myself, but Mutou approaches our trio of desks, interrupting our conversation. "It's not often I have to scold the class president for messing around. This worksheet is due by the end of the class. Please get to work, I don't want to have to keep you over lunch."

Shizune's eyes widen at her friends translation, and she quickly picks up her pencil and gets to work. She's probably not used to getting scolded by the teacher.

I'm surprised to hear about the groups reputation, though all the hostility does seem to come from Shizune, who has much higher standards than most. Misha seems to think they're just normal students, which I must admit, I find kind of appealing.

Ever since my heart attack, my life has been a whirlwind of change. I left my home, lost contact with my friends, and even my very lifestyle has changed drastically in the last six months. I do like Shizune and Misha. They've been really helpful, and I sense Shizune is only trying to look out for the new guy, but a return to normalcy would be very much welcome. For the first time in more than half a year, I felt normal. Last night, I felt like I was just a normal High School student with normal High School friends doing normal High School things. Of course, I'm not, and they aren't, and we weren't, but the important thing is I felt like it. I don't think the intensity of joining the Student Council is something I want or need right now, and I've already pretty much decided I won't be joining. Thing is, with them sitting right next to me in class, these two are rather hard to escape from, and they really do seem to need help. I suppose I can lend a hand, at least for the time being, but this is by no means a long term thing.

Next Chapter ~ Normalcy
Last edited by ComeWhatMay on Thu Mar 17, 2016 6:47 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Come What May - Cliché No matter what might happen.

Currently writing Can You Accept Your Fate? Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route. 34,000 words and counting.

Oh you wear your facade so well, covered up in your plastic shell

User avatar
ComeWhatMay
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:49 am

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by ComeWhatMay » Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:25 am

Real quick, can someone please show/tell me how to embed a link into text?

I would rather not have my links in the format of "Teaser - [Link]" and instead have that link just be "Teaser" and clicking on Teaser bring you to the URL.

I've tried looking in the FAQ, but I'm either blind or stupid, so I can't find the right formatting to do it.

EDIT: Got it. Thanks EBJ!
Last edited by ComeWhatMay on Mon Sep 21, 2015 7:17 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Come What May - Cliché No matter what might happen.

Currently writing Can You Accept Your Fate? Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route. 34,000 words and counting.

Oh you wear your facade so well, covered up in your plastic shell

User avatar
Eurobeatjester
Posts: 754
Joined: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:59 am
Location: Denial

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by Eurobeatjester » Mon Aug 10, 2015 3:12 am

ComeWhatMay wrote:Okay, can someone please show/tell me how to embed a link into text?

I would rather not have my links in the format of "Teaser - [Link]" and instead have that link just be "Teaser" and clicking on Teaser bring you to the URL.

I've tried looking in the FAQ, but I'm either blind or stupid, so I can't find the right formatting to do it.
Type it like this:

Code: Select all

 [url=yoururlhere]the name you want for the link[/url] 
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
Blank Mage wrote:
Eurobeatjester wrote:I doubt my ability to write convincing lesbian erotica
believe in yourself

User avatar
AntonSlavik020
Posts: 607
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:03 pm
Location: Cleveland, OH

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by AntonSlavik020 » Mon Aug 10, 2015 4:58 pm

ComeWhatMay wrote:Chapter 2 ~ Disapproval
"Nakata is in the same class as Shizune's cousin, his friends have a bit of a reputation."
Did Misha just call Shizune by her name, rather than say Shichan?
Best girl
Hanako=Shizune>Misha>Lilly>Rin>Emi

Best route
Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune

User avatar
ComeWhatMay
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:49 am

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by ComeWhatMay » Mon Aug 10, 2015 6:51 pm

AntonSlavik020 wrote: Did Misha just call Shizune by her name, rather than say Shichan?
I have failed as a fan fiction writer. I shall now commit sudoku. (Also edited : P)
Come What May - Cliché No matter what might happen.

Currently writing Can You Accept Your Fate? Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route. 34,000 words and counting.

Oh you wear your facade so well, covered up in your plastic shell

Silentcook
Carelessly Cooking You
Posts: 2508
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:22 am
Location: Imola, Italy

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by Silentcook » Mon Aug 10, 2015 7:20 pm

ComeWhatMay wrote:I have failed as a fan fiction writer. I shall now commit sudoku. (Also edited : P)
...Commit Sudoku? :lol:
Shattering your dreams since '94.

Image

User avatar
ComeWhatMay
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 12:49 am

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by ComeWhatMay » Mon Aug 10, 2015 9:34 pm

Come What May - Cliché No matter what might happen.

Currently writing Can You Accept Your Fate? Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route. 34,000 words and counting.

Oh you wear your facade so well, covered up in your plastic shell

User avatar
Steinherz
Posts: 2095
Joined: Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:06 am
Location: New England

Re: Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route

Post by Steinherz » Mon Aug 10, 2015 9:48 pm

ComeWhatMay wrote:
Silentcook wrote: ...Commit Sudoku? :lol:
Yup!

http://i.imgur.com/UwsTFvJ.png

http://i.imgur.com/8kWCvpK.png
Image
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.

Post Reply