Note: Before you read anything, I want to give credit to @AmITheSky as well as all of the KS Writing Group (Xilirite, OneManArmy77 and PaperAirship and /u/TheDwarfLard) for bearing with me and helping me with my works!
- 1. The long night (This post)
2. Hisao at the E3 (This post)
3. Monday Musing #1 Submission (This post)
4. A day off
5. Truly yours
6. Monday Musing #5 Submission
7. Just another birthday
8. An eventful evening
9. Kenji's event (prt.1)
10. Monday Musing #12 Submission
11. Kenji's event (prt.2)
- 1. The long night
I'm young, 18 to be precise, but in my lifespan I lived through some very hard moments that I bet very few people have faced during their lives as a high school student. One of these moments are my meeting with Iwanako and the following accident, the trauma of me moving to Yamaku and then, the worst memory of them all, that day of July that would change my life forever. It's been months since that event and things got better, since me and Hanako somehow made peace and now even spend time together... but that doesn't change a single damn thing. Whenever I remind myself of what I did on her birthday, I feel like someone just kicked me in the stomach. The hatred towards myself grows, like the lava of a volcano that is about to erupt. Why, why was I so stupid? My chance of having at my side the love of my life, I threw it away because of my idiocy and now I have to deal with the consequences. A life filled with solitude? Perhaps, damned if I know something about it, since now the only thing I can do is live a mundane routine. Eat, sleep, study, repeat. Pretty boring, I know, but if there's one thing that drives me in completing these cycles, that is the chance of me seeing her face every day. That beautiful, candid face adorned with those amethyst-colored eyes and that long, black hair that stole my heart from the first moment we met. I didn't know that my heart belonged to her from the first time we saw each other, since I thought we could just be friends. As days went on, I knew that my feelings towards her were not one of friendships, but of something more... and of course, at her birthday, I had to fuck everything up.
The chance of meeting her, to spend some time with her at Lilly's room drinking tea, sharing laughs, beautiful moments and even tears of joy, these are the moments that bring some color in my gray life, that of course I brought to myself with my own two hands. I enjoy them, a lot, and some may think that without them I would be just a hollowed man. That's true, they indeed save me from myself, but regardless of how much I love them, during these sessions my thoughts very rarely are fully focused on my surroundings. Instead, I think about how Hanako seems distant to me, regardless of how I tried to make her forgive me. She did, but only a fool may think that things are back to their usual. Me and her now are like two protons that wish to meet each other. As hard as they try, they will never touch themselves and the same goes for me and her. Her heart no longer sees me as her only love, as the boy she fell in love with. Now, I'm for her only a friend. No more, no less. There's no more chances for me to reach her, to conquer her heart. I failed, and so I deserve the suffering of staying alone. So close, yet so far, this is my new life. Filled with regret, sadness and fake happiness. Regardless of how much I try to shake things up, for now the only thing I know for real is that I want to sleep. My body no longer obeys me, so I decide to give myself to the darkness that surrounds me, readying myself to yet another day that will remind me of the biggest failure of my life and, let's hope, the last I'll ever make.
- 2. Hisao and the E3!(please, forgive me for screwing up the whole timezone deal, but the idea was so good in my head, that I just had to write it! That being said and knowing that the announcements are not in chronological order, I hope you enjoy it regardless.)
"OH FUCK YEAH!!"
At times, I occasionally question if this Hisao is the same one that buys me flowers, takes me out for dinner and makes me feel like a princess, because in June, especially from the 15th to the 21st, he changes completely. Why? It’s simple. It’s because of that damn E3. He usually brings Kenji to our home so that they can enjoy it together, and usually spending entire nights watching the livestream, eating junk food and being complete nerds (although it’s an aspect of him I’m fond of). But what about me? To be honest, seeing them having a good time makes me happy, but I’d appreciate it if he’d stop waking me up every thirty minutes or so his shouting.
Yesterday I tried to address this, since I don’t want this to happen anymore, and to my surprise I somehow managed to get him to agree to calm down. Not only did he agree, he also promised that he wouldn't make a mess with Kenji when they spent time together. I mean, I usually don't mind him staying up so late, as long as he is quiet and comes to bed at a reasonable time. So it’s frustrating to hear him piping up every now and again, completely forgetting our agreement. Tonight though, things are going to play out differently. Hisao will get a piece of my mind and he'll learn that Hanako Nakai can show her claws.
I get up, comb my hair and start walking to his office. My stomps echo through the hall, giving away my frustration. Upon hearing the commotion, smarter creatures would try to flee for their life, but nothing will save my husband today. He’ll be lucky if he wakes up tomorrow in one piece.
I've waited so long for this week, the whole damn year to be precise. Videogames have always been one of my biggest passions, maybe even bigger then reading books. In Yamaku I had to give up on it, but it wasn't too bad since literature was an amazing companion during that fleeting year filled with change for my life. Not only that, in the years that followed I graduated from university, got a job in a medical laboratory, found a home for Hanako and I and, most importantly, married this beautiful woman.
It’s been two years since we got married and I couldn't be happier with how things turned out. Especially today, since I get to watch the livestream of the E3 with one of my best friends, Kenji. Who would have guessed that I’d actually become friends with that weirdo that used to live across the hall from me, much less go the entire year without kicking his ass or going insane (or both). When I left Yamaku and signed up for my university course, I was surprised to find that he had enrolled in the same university. Apart from Hanako, I knew no one there so I was almost forced to make peace with our past encounters and give him a chance. To be honest, as time passed I've found myself enjoying spending time with him, mostly because over the years he finally gave up on his idea of a feminist conspiracy going on, instead becoming a big follower of the theory of the existence of the Illuminati, UFO's and those sorts of things. Some might get annoyed by hearing his constant rambling, but after spending five years with him one gets used to it. Not only that, but his speeches about the "Higher Power" are also an amazing tool for when I want to go to sleep.
Anyway, tonight I do not have to worry about those things. No conspiracy theories, since this evening we're embracing our gaming passion and let our mind return to the state of fifteen year olds. The hours flew by, and we witnessed the amazing games that were being presented. One thing that almost made us jump out of our seats was the Bethesda presentation and the announcement of Fallout 4 and the following gameplay footage. After that, more games were presented and so our excitement grew, up until one single trailer aired. We tried to stay calm, to still act like adults, but when we saw the name of the game, we couldn't contain ourselves. "OH FUCK YEAH!" we just couldn't hold it in, it was impossible. The fact that Dark Souls 3 was announced made me the happiest man on Earth, and I think that Kenji shared the same opinion. We were laughing out of pure excitement, looking at each other with joy in our eyes. After a couple of seconds we decide to open a conversation, mostly to vent out our hype.
"Can you believe it? I don't think this is real, man!" is what I say to my pal, whom in the meantime was trying to formulate a sentence that made at least some sense. He opened his mouth, but before he managed to answer me we heard the opening of a door. Loud, angry steps followed, telling us that party time was over and so might be our very lives.
I cursed, remembering that I promised to Hanako that we would be quiet, but how could we have stopped ourselves? The sequel of my favorite gaming series had been announced! I couldn’t just sit there indifferently. I desperately hoped that my mind was working with me, since in these moments I usually need all of my diplomatic skills in order to calm her down. I prayed that my charm would work on her, since usually I manage to calm her with some witty jokes and some smiles. By the sound of her steps, she sounded pretty pissed, which was a very rare thing to witness but I’d be lying if I said that this was the first time I saw her like this. The last time she was this mad, I had to spend two entire nights sleeping on the couch, cook lunch and dinner for myself and clean my office with my own two hands. I tried to make her forgive me by buying her flowers and telling how sorry I was. Somehow, I managed to bring a smile to her face, although this time I am worried that things will not be so easy. God only knows what she has in store for me, since for now I can only brace myself for the impact.
"What were you thinking? Do you even know w-what time it is? Do you have any consideration for those who d-don't care about this E3?!"
Regardless of how much progress I've made lately when it comes to my stuttering, extreme emotions still manage to bring it out. I hate it. it makes me think of my past and of how scared I was up until the university, and the poitn where my life took a positive turn. Now I consider myself a happy woman, with a happy life, a loving husband and everything that I dreamt of when I was a child. I'm living my dream, but regardless of what I say about my life, this current situation ignores that fact. We can strike out the being happy part, and let's say that my anger took him by surprise. I can feel my face going red, not from of blushing but because of how I am annoyed by the way my husband was acting. I swear, sometimes I feel like his mother more than his partner. I try to put on my best angry face, while I continue to tell him how disappointed I am at the fact that he broke his promise. Maybe I am just overreacting, but I really want to show him that I can be dominant, too. It's not like I dislike him being the male in our relationship, but a part of me really wants to see him in my shoes. Strangely enough, my lashing out at him has the effects I had hoped for, since Hisao now isn’t even looking at me in the eyes. A part of me hates to see him in this condition, but I just can't back off, not until I vent every last bit my frustration.
"L-Look, I'm really tired of-" I begin, but as I speak my husband decides to stand up for himself, opening his mouth and interrupting my speech.
"Look Hana, I'm really sorry for what happened, but try to look at it from my perspective! We're not talking about a common game, but about Dark Souls! You know how much I love that series, c'mon! It was natural that I would freak out like this!".
Dammit Hisao, you know how much I like when you defend your passions, especially when you know it's a lost cause. For a second a smile appears on my face, only to be replaced by anger and disappointment. I try to continue, but I get interrupted for the second time by him, in what it looks like it has turned out to be a heated argument.
"I know you are angry, and rightly so, just don't repeat what happened 2 months ago, please. I really don't want to spend the night on the couch... Or cook lunch alone... Or play videogames with an empty place at my side," he says with a weak smile, trying to break through my defenses by assuming a puppy face, possibly as an attempt to defuse the situation and get out of a potential argument. I can't. As hard as I try I just can't keep up staying angry with him. I remain silent for a while, staring at him with a frown, that is soon enough replaced by an expression of reluctant acceptance. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly, proving once again that I just can't show anger to the man I love the most. As hard as it might annoy me, he saved me with his presence. Not only that, with him at my side I found someone else that I can trust blindly, the first one being Lilly. We complement each other and our marriage proves that, showing that we're indeed made for each other. We know that we were meant to be together, so regardless of how much we might argue, we always end up in this situation. It’s not that I hate it, it's just that I, for once, would like to be the one who teases him.
"You dummy," I punch him lightly on the shoulder, making him chuckle. I look up and notice him smiling, so in order to defend myself from further teasing I make a pout, a lethal weapon that proved useful more than once.
"Hey, is it my fault that I'm good at diplomacy?" Damn your charm, Hisao!
"You know you’re even cuter when you pout?" he adds on, passing one hand through my hair with a loving smile on his face. I feel an arm on my shoulder, as if a certain someone is trying to make me abandon my plan of being offended. No, this time! I want to make him feel guilty! I try to make a sound with my mouth that indicates that I'm still disappointed in him, hoping that he changes his attitude. I like it when he comforts me, but at the moment I really feel teasing him, so I try to continue my act.
" I hoped that you would join us, but it seems like someone prefers to sleep alone," as he says that he tries to detach himself from the embrace. Out of pure instinct, my first response to this is to hug him tighter, letting him know that I don't want him to go.
"Well then let's go, shall we?" We leave our bedroom and head towards his office, where Kenji is waiting with his arms crossed, seemingly impatient and tired of waiting for us. "So, you two done with your discussion?" he asks with a slightly disgruntled tone, to which Hisao answers, "Yup, and I also managed to find another audience member." As he says that, I blush a little, probably because as hard as I try, I will never be able to control the warmth that his love and affection provoke in my body. "And here I thought this would be a ‘guys only ni-OH GOD, LOOK AT THIS!" Kenji shouts, pointing at the monitor.
"What the hell you're shouting f-OH GOD THEY ANNOUNCED A FINAL FANTASY SEVEN REMAKE!!"
All I can do as soon as I notice this reaction is sigh and hug him, which causes him to break off of his ecstasy and focus on me. The look of confusion in his eyes is obvious and makes me even more happy to make him feel better by speaking up. "Don't worry, I'm not mad." I say as I give him a brief peck on his lips.
"I just remembered why I love this dork so much."
- 3. Monday Musing 1 submission! Prompt #2(Thanks to /u/OneManArmy77 for creating M.M. and the prompts! Check it out here: https://www.reddit.com/r/katawashoujo/c ... se_thread/
It has been almost a year, yet some things never truly change. During this year I had so many events that shaped my life, but I feel like there's one single immovable object in my mind that keeps me from embracing this new life. The stars above make me feel somewhat safe, in contrast to the cold breeze that's almost freezing my bones. The only thing I can do is endure this cold embrace and try not to fall victim to mother Nature. Now that I think about it, how could I be hurt by her? I mean, not only I'm spending my vacation on my parents place, but I am also enjoying this time with the love of my life. Her long dark hair blends with the night, almost making her look like something nature itself would create. Yet, the combination of this winter's night and the color of her hair make me feel uncomfortable.
This memory almost comes to my mind out of instinct, without me noticing it, and so making my body rigid out of the sheer pain that I feel by remembering this event. I also see long and dark hair on a winter's day, but this time these are my girlfriends locks of hair, but of a ghost of my past that haunts me to this day. Her name was Iwanako. It almost feels like as her name became the representation of my history then a real person itself, which is very strange now that I think of it. Her confession, the words that echo in my head to this day remember me that I'm no longer normal, I don't live the life of every other human and that I will no longer enjoy the fine things in life that before that accident were so normal to me. I never thought about how lucky I was, until the moment I woke up after the pain in my chest that followed me hearing her words. Those soft and candid words that told me how much she likes me. I know that I should feel happy about this, yet I can't.
Maybe that's because I can't see her anymore as a person I would love, but instead I see her as the harbinger of the biggest change of my life. For weeks I've been thinking that she cursed me with her confession, but when I met Hanako everything changed. I had a purpose in life and when we both confessed to each other, we both knew that we've found our paths.
As I keep talking to myself, I feel a light tug on my arm that teleports my mind back to the real world. It seems that she noticed my nervousness and wanted my attention, maybe to comfort me? It looks like it, given the look in her eyes. A look filled with love, worry but that at the same time makes me feel at peace with myself. The expression in those eyes makes me feel at home and it reminds me why I love her so much. No longer I feel remorse nor am I sad about what happened a year ago.
As I put an arm on her shoulders, in order to draw her closer to me, I know that as long as I'm with Hana I know that nothing can go wrong and if it does, we know that we can count on each other. The biting cold of the night no longer stings, since I feel the warmth that accompanied me since that day in the park. The frigid breeze no longer exists for me, since with this girl I can face even the coldest nights. All we need is each other, and as long as this remains true, nothing else matters.
- 1. Grammar and overall improvement of the second one-shot