I tried to do as much research as I could regarding prosthetic therapy and phantom pains, but I couldn't find much. Thusly, most of this chapter is guesswork on my part, so if It's not accurate, I apologize!
Chapter List
Part 6: Air, Wind, Ground, Track
I slowly rise from my seat, ahead of me stretch two long wooden dowels. One to my left and one to my right. I slowly take the guides into my palms and realize how much my hands are shaking. The nurse stands to my side, with another assistant on the other side, ready to grab me at the slightest sign of an imminent fall.
"You can begin putting weight on the prosthesis now Kazuko" The nurse's words snap me from my thoughts, and I slowly begin to move my weight from my right leg to my newly attached left leg. As my weight bears down on the padded plastic I feel what's left of the bone attached to my knee trying to push it's way out from the bottom of my leg rather forcefully, a feeling that's become uncomfortably familiar over the past week.
As quickly as yesterday, the pain overtakes me and I fall to the left, slamming my underarm into the guide rail that manages to hold my weight as the assistant helps me to my feet again. As much as my body hurts, my mind hurts more. I should be able to do this, It's almost like the enthusiasm that Emi bestowed upon me is gone as fast as it arrived.
"Remember, no pain, no gain. You've improved a lot over this last week Kazuko, It's impressive to say the very least." The assistant nods, as the emphasize the fact.
It certainly doesn't feel that way. I re-seat myself and lean forward, placing my head In my hands in despair. I feel the nurse place his hand on my shoulder, but don't have the strength to look up at him. I've failed him as much as I've failed myself. Over the last couple of weeks I've become quite friendly with him so letting him down makes the blow that much tougher to deal with.
"Kazuko, I can only imagine how you feel right now but the progress you've made is incredible. The only other person I've seen make progress this fast is Emi..."
At this point I tune out again as I've also befriended Emi In the short time that I've attended Yamaku; She won't be happy to hear that I fell again. I can't hide It from her since she'll extort the nurse into telling her. Patient Confidentiality my left leg.
"... Lets give it another try, eh?" He places an arm under mine and levers me from the chair, and I'm once again faced with the 1.5 meter walk of doom.
air . . . Right leg
wind. . . Left leg, Ow
ground . . . Right Leg
track. . . Left leg, This isn't pleasant.
will. . . Right Leg
not. . . Left leg, Ouch!
hold. . . Right Leg
back . . Left leg, No more.
Each step shoots pain up my spine and I finally give in, slumping to the handrail once again. Sweat is embarrassingly pouring from every place it can, I bet I look a mess. Emi's poem helped quite a bit even though It's aimed at runners instead of someone learning to walk again. The nurse looks like he's about to explode with happiness.
"That was fantastic Kazuko!" If he could jump up and down on the spot without anyone seeing he would. "Congratulations, 8 steps without crutches Is just... Incredible." He quickly scrawls something onto his notepad and I have a moment to regain my composure
"It was... Nothing..." The assistant helps me back to my seat before giving me a wide grin and two thumbs up. It's a small victory, but a victory none the less.
---
"Good afternoon Kazuko" Emi sits alone in the busy cafeteria, carefully eating her food with practiced, precise movements. "How was your visit with the nurse?"
"I'd go with "Interesting", 8 Steps today."
"I'm very happy to hear that, I'm sure that the nurse was very excited, no? It'd be nice if you joined me." She carefully dabs her mouth with a small piece of tissue before gesturing to the seat opposite her.
"Indeed he was! And thank you." I carefully lower myself into the seat before placing my crutches beside me. As much progress as I've made, I still wouldn't be able to get around without them.
"I hope you can be away from your crutches sooner rather than later, I know the pain of such constraints too well."
"Thanks, me too." I decide not to mention how optimistic that thought is and decide to concentrate on my food. It's as awful as cafeteria food has always been. Still better than hospital food though. "How come you're sat by yourself Emi?" I hope she won't take that the wrong way.
She takes a moment to clear her throat and formulate her words before speaking calmly and clearly. "I usually eat with a friend of mine; Rin, however she has had a lot on her mind recently. Luckily I can share my lunches with you, however."
"Well then I'm glad to be of assistance. You should introduce me to her once she's feeling better"
"Eager to make friends? I thought you had enough on your plate with Hanako badgering you to join the Student Council" She hides a small giggle with her hand before regaining her front and continuing on her meal. It feels like she let her guard down for the first time around me. Perhaps I'm growing on her slightly. She eats like she's been starved for weeks but somehow manages to maintain the well mannered, careful movements that almost define her, It's strange how she can eat so fast and still look refined.
"Your poem really helped by the way, thanks for that Emi" I make sure to clear my throat and speak as clearly as I can, It's almost a subconscious thing around her.
"Anytime. I'm rather glad to have helped, actually." Her sweet smile is accompanied by a small sideways tilt of her head that makes me feel a small tinge of something in the back of my mind, I'm not quite sure what, but It's nice and warm. I've only been eating with Emi for a week, since I started my prosthetics therapy, and I've already come to enjoy our lunches together. I've also shared some meals with Hanako and Lilly, over which Hanako attempted to get me to join the student council, an act that I'm not to keen on, but it is better than eating alone.
As I stare through the window to the outside world, I notice a slight tingling In my leg. Maybe I'm just sat on it and I'm losing the feeling. As I continue to stare the slight tingling become more intense, feeling like somebody is poking my leg with hot needles. Very quickly after this I realize that I'm experiencing phantom pains. Emi must have noticed the pained look on my face as she's now leaning forward very slightly, you could miss it if you weren't paying attention.
"Deep breaths Kazuko." Her calm words float through the air delicately, though they don't seem to help. "Look at me Kazuko." I slowly raise my head, now noticing my balled-up fist on the desk with Emi's hand lightly rested on top. She's staring right at me, her eyes the perfect image of tranquil peace. My leg feels like it's on fire, but I can't do a damn thing to stop it.
"Kazuko, Breath. In, Out, In, Out". I try my best to follow her advice but still find myself gasping like a fish out of water. The pain in my leg tears out all kinds of memories that I'd rather not remember, like when they pulled me from the car, and when I first caught the sight of my leg no longer attached to my person. "Kazuko!" Her voice escalates as she tries to snap me from my thoughts "Stay calm, It will pass, keep your eyes on me"
I do my best to keep my eyes locked on Emi's, but the feeling in my leg is awful, the burning reminds me of dipping my leg in acid. She continues speaking but I am slowly engulfed by the crushing feeling that's now covering my whole body. as the memories all start rushing back to me.
"Dad!"
---
"Kazuko?" I slowly re-open my eyes, and find Emi hovering about an inch from my face. She sighs in relief before returning to her seated position opposite me. It seems I've been moved out of the cafeteria.
"Are you okay?" Emi seems to be having a hard time recovering her sophisticated facade, a worried look painted all over her.
"I had a p-panic attack, didn't I?"
She clears her throat, a last ditch attempt to reconfigure the look on her face. "I believe so. At first I thought it was just phantom pains... but I noticed rather quickly. I'm sorry that I had to move you..." Her voice trails through the empty hallways, echoing quietly.
"T-That's okay. Sorry you had t-to see that." My stutter has returned, fantastic. "Did I s-say anything?"
"You didn't... In the cafeteria anyway." My heart sinks, I had hoped that I didn't let anything slip. "I won't question you. For now I'm going to take you to the nurse." It's more of an order than a request or a question. She offers a hand and all but lifts me from the floor before offering a crutch to my open hand. "Unfortunately I could only grab one, I hope you don't mind using me as a crutch." At least she seems less worried now. She takes my silence as a yes and hauls my arm over her shoulder, allowing my to redistribute my weight more evenly. As we 3 legged race our way to the auxiliary building I muster the strength to continue the conversation.
"What did I say?"
"You... You called out for your father." I cringe upon hearing this, and It seems she does the same for some reason. I decide not to push this topic further, I've already been drained of energy once today.
"Thank you Emi."
"Of course, Kazuko."
---
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. Looking forward to seeing where Mirror Shoujo goes from here! 
