The Blank Slate - (Updated 12-26) A Christmas Council

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kaserkin
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Re: Firing Blanks - (Updated 6-27) Scrapped Routes

Post by kaserkin » Sat Jun 27, 2015 7:42 am

First things first: damn it Blank, you write fast! :P

I am not sure I have completely understood what was going on, but it's a fun read nonetheless.

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Fardels
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Re: Firing Blanks - (Updated 6-27) Scrapped Routes

Post by Fardels » Sat Jun 27, 2015 8:04 pm

Nicely done. If you wanted to extend it a bit, you could work in quantum entanglement somehow. I like the story the way it is - just a thought.

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Puncyclopedia
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Re: Firing Blanks - (Updated 6-27) Scrapped Routes

Post by Puncyclopedia » Sat Jun 27, 2015 8:45 pm

This makes me want to write a Katawa Shoujo-Zero Escape crossover, but I'm pretty sure I'd create a time paradox somehow in the process.

Fun read!
Characters: Shizune > Lilly > Rin > Emi > Hanako
Routes: Lilly > Rin > Shizune > Hanako > Emi

Replaying now, so subject to flux. Except Shizune. Shizune is best.


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Leaty
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Re: Firing Blanks - (Updated 6-27) Scrapped Routes

Post by Leaty » Sun Jun 28, 2015 1:06 pm

This is basically the reason I'm so fond of this thread: everything in it is really high-concept. I'm totally about that.

It's similar to "A World Much Like Our Own" though, in that I didn't fully understand what was going on during my first read-through. Admittedly my medications have been totally out of whack for a while now, but the science of the story was totally opaque for me. Now I get it better, I think, after rereading it with a fresh pair of eyes, but I don't think I could explain it to another person, necessarily.

The ending is really satisfying—I love the idea of Setou!Hisao turning into a psychotic dimensional aberration, and it was almost sort of a Junji Ito-esque way to end the ficlet.

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Re: Firing Blanks - (Updated 6-27) Scrapped Routes

Post by Alpacalypse » Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:27 pm

I... I don't really know what to say about that. :|

It was fun, though. I think the concept's pretty cool, too (we might have had routes for Saki, Rika, Suzu, Miki, Aiko and Kagami yes, those last two are OCs. No, I don't care, THE DEVS WOULD HAVE DONE IT ONE DAY! ;-;. Damn you, Setou!Hisao !).
I am the harbinger of your destruction... By herbivorous, mountain dwelling quadrupeds... fear me
---
I also write now, apparently. Since everyone else does it, I'm putting it here
---
I have also discovered that I'm a decent proofreader. Anybody with SPaG problems is free to PM me their work for a thorough analysis and/or evisceration. Depends on how I'm feeling.

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Leaty
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Re: Firing Blanks - (Updated 6-27) Scrapped Routes

Post by Leaty » Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:30 pm

You know, now that I think about it more critically, it seems like kind of a missed opportunity that there weren't any Hisaos in wheelchairs.

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Blank Mage
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Re: Firing Blanks - (Updated 6-27) Scrapped Routes

Post by Blank Mage » Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:37 pm

Leaty wrote:This is basically the reason I'm so fond of this thread: everything in it is really high-concept. I'm totally about that.
I'm like the layman's Brythain.
Leaty wrote:It's similar to "A World Much Like Our Own" though, in that I didn't fully understand what was going on during my first read-through. Admittedly my medications have been totally out of whack for a while now, but the science of the story was totally opaque for me. Now I get it better, I think, after rereading it with a fresh pair of eyes, but I don't think I could explain it to another person, necessarily.
Technobabble at it's finest. The idea here is that Hisao is literally the 'observer' who defines the universe he exists in. Basically, you know the old question 'if a tree falls in a forest with no one in it, does it make a sound'? Hisao in this case is our dedicated tree watcher. Without him, actions can't be properly recorded or even established. His PoV is the only one that matters. I left the idea of other 'anchors' open, characters who validate their own multiverse. Perhaps somewhere, a workshed full of Alt!Shirou's are discussing what to do about the encroaching Ilya singularity. Of course, there's no science here, because that's CRAZY TALK, but it's the idea I had.

Leaty wrote:The ending is really satisfying—I love the idea of Setou!Hisao turning into a psychotic dimensional aberration, and it was almost sort of a Junji Ito-esque way to end the ficlet.
I was actually basing this one off of Stein's Gate, Noein, and a touch of Primer. I'm not sure I want to have anything in common with Ito... His works are great, don't get me wrong, but it's also nightmare fuel.

I liked the idea that the Kenji Route, which I don't recall ever being done in fan works, is kind of like the fanon equivalent of Chernobyl: there are ruined building and streets, signs it was once habitable, eerily abandoned and spoken of only in hushed and reverent tones. Saki, Rika, Suzu, Molly, Aoi, Miki... it seems like everyone has their time in the spotlight. And there, forgotten, the IDEA of the Kenji Route lurks on the fringe. Kenji!Hisao will not go quietly into that existential night.
And we're back.
-----------
"I wish I could convey to you just how socially inept I am, but I can't."
"I think you just did."
"No, I really, truly haven't."

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Re: Firing Blanks - (Updated 6-27) Scrapped Routes

Post by Blank Mage » Wed Jul 08, 2015 3:25 am

Mirror Shoujo
----------------------------
Credit goes to Swampie for the concept of Mirror Shoujo, and permission to use it. For those who haven't read it, the following AU is one where each character has had their core personality traits inverted. The results are... interesting. I've made a few additional changes, most of which will be self-explanatory. Couldn't think of a good Shizune piece, for once, but I decided to go ahead with what I have.


There are few things in life so maddening as an itch you can't scratch.

I speak from experience; one such an itch is located somewhere just above an ankle I no longer have. My hand idly rubs the tough rubber of my prosthetic before I think to stop it. Were I running, such minor sensations wouldn't have an opportunity to present themselves. My gaze flits longingly back to the track placed temptingly outside the window of my classroom.
Of course I ran prior to the start of class, and I've been scolded before for overtaxing the scar tissue where flesh meets plastic. With a grimace, I turn my attention back to Sonohara-sensei's description of quadratic form, my momentary distraction evidently having gone unnoticed. My grades have been more than acceptable, and I feel I've firmly grasped the material already, so I'm not overly concerned for myself. I do worry for Rin, however, seated just to my right.

Rin's posture is such that I can almost see her arms folded impatiently in front of her as she watches the clock ticking along. Her grades have always been mediocre, and while she's proven rather adept at last-minute cramming, her cavalier attitude towards her studies never fails to put me on-edge. Surely there will come a time when the difficulty of the material will surpass her ability to ‘wing it’, and her poor habits will only become harder to break as the years progress.

She's up almost before the bell rings, holding her bag in place with one foot and sweeping her belongings into it with the other. In another moment, she's skillfully swung the bag up and onto her shoulder. I've been jokingly referred to as 'the fastest thing on no legs', but I find Rin's displays of dexterity far more impressive.

For my part, I take my time carefully organizing my bag, ignoring the look of mock-contempt I receive for my efforts. "I'd love to know why the head of the Track and Field club is consistently the last person out of the door."

I look up at her with a level expression. "I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that you had any pressing engagements."

Rin screws up one eye. "I can never tell when you're actually apologizing and when you're just being sarcastic."

Zipping my bag and re-securing my 'legs', I pass my friend with a faint smile. "I'm apologizing sarcastically. Try to keep up, Rin."

She concedes her defeat with a heavy sigh, and falls into step as we make our way to the cafeteria.

"Speaking of schedules, how are the Art Club's preparations coming for the upcoming school festival? I've heard you've been entrusted with a rather impressive project this year."

If Rin had had arms, I'm certain one would busy itself rubbing the back of her head in a gesture of sheepish pride. "...It's kind of a big deal, yeah. I'm not sure how I'm gonna hold up painting that much. These legs of mine aren't light, ya know."

I hold a hand to my mouth in mock surprise. "Oh? I know no such thing. Perhaps you should have them replaced...?" I click a running blade against the floor for emphasis.

"Hmm. No thanks. I wouldn't want to one-up you."

I open my mouth to deliver a stinging retort, only to find that I have none to give. After all, if I'm the 'fastest thing on no legs', then Rin is most certainly the 'most talented thing with no arms'. Her skill with a paintbrush is already receiving critical acclaim, and for good reason; her seamless integration of traditional Eastern themes and Renaissance-era European artwork is utterly unique.

The conversation stalls as I lose myself in thought, prompting Rin to comment. "It was a joke, Emi, a joke. I'm not that great. Really."

"Don't sell yourself short to pacify others."

Rin blinks in surprise, and after a moment, I realize how terse my expression has become. I glance away, suddenly self-conscious of my outburst.

"...It's unfair of you, to downplay your talents so readily. You should take more pride in your achievements. My ego is not so fragile as..." I trail off as I turn back to Rin, who is looking pointedly away, her shoulders shaking. A badly suppressed *snerk* reaches my ears.

"Rin! I was being serious!"

Her cover blown, Rin erupts into laughter, a deep, resounding laugh that perfectly fits her boyish image. I cross my arms and wait for her to regain herself.

"Ahahaha... haha.... oh Emi, of course you're being serious. God, you're so straight laced it's a miracle that you manage to tie your shoes in the morning! What the hell was that, a line from some samurai film? You're like a hundred and fifty centimeters tall and you weigh forty kilos! Where do you get this from?!" She props herself against a wall as another fit of giggles takes her.

I struggle to hide my embarrassment. "What? I dislike it when people aren't given due credit. Especially when those people are my friends."

Rin wipes her eyes on her shoulders as her chuckles die down. "Sorry, sorry. You're right. I'm amazing, talented, inspiring, and beautiful to boot. Is that better?"

I give a matter-of-fact nod. "I suppose I'll accept that." I feel her rest a vestigial arm on top of my head, and she leans down into my field of view, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"And do you know what makes you so cute?"

I suddenly realize the trap I've laid for myself. Denying her comment now would make me hypocritical. I try to ignore the blush spreading through my cheeks. "No, I honestly don't."

Rin bounds ahead of me, spinning easily on a heel , fixing me in place with her vibrant green eyes, her smirk now a full-blown grin.

"Exactly!"

My brow furrows as I try to follow her line of thought. "Exactly what?"

Rin's laughter echoes down the hallway.

--------------------------

"Excuse me, Ikezawa-senpai!"

I turn to face the unfamiliar voice, and a timid-looking girl struggles to catch up, weaving through the crowded hallway as quickly as caution will allow her. I find a pocket of relative calm, and wait for her.

"Um, hello, so sorry to bother you, but my club missed their deadline. The occult club, I mean! We had a project planned, and we forgot all about getting approval from the council!" Her voice wavers a bit. "Is it... too late to submit our form?"

The deadline for project approval and funding was yesterday, but it's hardly unusual for classes and clubs to run a little over, and so the real deadline for submissions is actually a few days after the one the Council announces. The girl in front of me is simply too cute, though, and I can't help but toy with her a little. I make a show of considering her request.

"Hmm... I'm afraid the deadline isn't exactly negotiable..." I watch the girl's face fall, but cut her off before she can respond. "...but I'm quite sure I've received the Occult Club's submission form already."

Hope flits across her features, but confusion overtakes it. "...Huh? But, I-"

"However," I interrupt again, "I seem to have misplaced it! I'm a little scatterbrained sometimes. I don't suppose you would have another copy of it on you...?" I give my best smile, tilting my head and folding my hands behind my back.

The girl takes a second to parse my sentence, before understanding lights up her face like the sunrise. She scrambles to open her backpack, rifling through it as though I might retract the offer at any moment. Pulling a crinkled sheet from the depths of her bag, she thrusts it at me with the guileless panic that only underclassmen are capable of.

I clap my hands together in delight. "You do! That's wonderful. This certainly saves me quite a bit of time..." I trail off again.

"...Ah! Nagatsuki! Nagatsuki Kaede!" She gives a frantic bow, still holding the sheet in front of her like an offering to the gods.

I take the paper and give it a quick once-over. It seems as though it was filled out on time, then left, forgotten, in Kaede's backpack. "A fortune-telling cafe? What an odd combination. I certainly don't see why not. I'll be sure to notify you of the approval as soon as I deliver this to the faculty."

Kaede hugs her backpack to her chest. "Really? Thank you! Thank you! This means sooo much to us!"

I hide a smile behind my hand. "Of course. I'm looking forward to stopping by." I wonder if generous senpais eat free. I wave as she darts into the crowd.

This exchange has put me a little behind, and I quicken my pace down the hallway.

---------------------------------------------------

"Lilly, I'm here," calls Hanako from the doorway of the classroom. My head snaps up in response, making solid contact with someone sitting directly behind me.

"OhmygodImsosorry!" I blurt, feeling around behind me for the unfortunate student. I manage to find a hand, and grab onto that, as though I can grip an apology into him.

"Oh goodness," comes Hanako's voice from much closer, "that looked painful. Are you okay, Setou?"

Oh, poor Kenji! "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there, and I just kinda wasn't thinking, I'm sorry! Are you bleeding? I think I have band-aids on me-"

"He's not bleeding, Lilly, don't worry. He might just have a swollen lip for a few hours."

Kenji speaks up, his voice a little slurred, I guess from me hitting him. "I'm fine, don't worry about it. You couldn't have known I was there."

His good-natured laugh is reassuring, but I still feel really guilty about it. "No, I shouldn't move so fast, it doesn't end well, but I-"

"Lilly," Kenji interrupts, "please. If this injury is the cost of being too close to you, then I'd say I made out like a bandit!"

"Setou!", Hanako exclaims. She sounds angry, but I think she's just trying not to laugh. Kenji has a way of dispelling tension wherever he goes. I think I'm blushing, and I hope he doesn't notice. At least I think I hope I don't. I think?

I hear Kenji get up from the spot, and dust himself off. "And on that note, I should probably get some ice on this trophy of mine. A pleasure as always, Ikezawa-ojousama."

"For the last time, I'm not an ojousama!", she calls after him, a ripple of laughter echoing around the classroom. Hanako sighs heavily. "I don't know what you see in him."

"Couldn't tell you! But c'mon, Hanako, I bet he doesn't look half bad!"

"Well, I guess he-" Hanako stops mid-sentence, her breath catching in her throat. I smile innocently in her direction for a moment, and laughter gets the better of her. "How.... how long have you been sitting on that one for?"

"Oh, about a week."

"You're horrible."

"Well, none of us are perfect."

I wonder who Kenji is going to the festival with...
And we're back.
-----------
"I wish I could convey to you just how socially inept I am, but I can't."
"I think you just did."
"No, I really, truly haven't."


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Re: The Blank Slate - (Updated 7-8) Mirror Shoujo

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Jul 08, 2015 8:19 am

Heh, nice to see this one going on.
Kenji X Hanako would be quite an unusual pairing. Off the top of my mind I can only remember one other story that used it... *whistles*
Alternating PoVs are also always a plus in my book. Keeps a story fresh longer. :)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: The Blank Slate - (Updated 7-8) Mirror Shoujo

Post by swampie2 » Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:30 am

All I can say is wow. This is exactly where I wanted Mirror Shoujo to go, and you hit the nail on the head.

Very nice little story :mrgreen:
One Shots - My stories thread.

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Re: The Blank Slate - (Updated 7-8) Mirror Shoujo

Post by AntonSlavik020 » Wed Jul 08, 2015 10:42 pm

These are all really interesting. Loved the multi-Hisao one. Pretty much everything about it had me fascinated. Then again, I've always liked the whole multiple dimension thing, or whatever was going on. It was weird, but fun.
Best girl
Hanako=Shizune>Misha>Lilly>Rin>Emi

Best route
Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune

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Leaty
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Re: The Blank Slate - (Updated 7-8) Mirror Shoujo

Post by Leaty » Thu Jul 09, 2015 1:51 pm

Blank Mage wrote:Couldn't think of a good Shizune piece, for once, but I decided to go ahead with what I have.
I would have expected bizarro!Shizune to be the complete inversion of the Class Representative/Student Council President anime tropes. I'd have made her the stereotypical Japanese delinquent: kogal fashion, brightly bleached hair, bullies other girls, skips class all the time, not especially bright, possibly gets into literal fights, etc.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this. I enjoyed Swampie's story as well, until the concept changed. I'm really fond of YamatoNadeshiko!Emi. I thought her scene was the strongest snippet.
Blank Mage wrote:Her skill with a paintbrush is already receiving critical acclaim, and for good reason; her seamless integration of traditional Eastern themes and Renaissance-era European artwork is utterly unique.
This was really clever, because I almost missed it, and it makes so much sense for a mirror Rin.

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Re: The Blank Slate - (Updated 7-8) Mirror Shoujo

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Jul 09, 2015 2:30 pm

Actually I like that it is only one key feature of her personality that is changed. If everything had been changed, the character would not have been recognizable anymore, and if he'd done that with all the characters, this wouldn't be Katawa Shoujo anymore.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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