Gravity-Molly pseudo route [09/07/16]

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Zerebos
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Re: Gravity-Molly pseudo route [09/07/16]

Post by Zerebos » Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:58 pm

I just recently discovered this, and I'm absolutely loving this story! Not only is your writing fantastic, I feel like your depiction of Molly is so unique and with such a mysterious background that I just can't get enough of her!

Edible_Funk
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Re: Gravity-Molly pseudo route [09/07/16]

Post by Edible_Funk » Tue Apr 11, 2017 9:47 am

Finally caught up. Love me some Molly. Good work.

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Craftyatom
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Re: Gravity-Molly pseudo route [09/07/16]

Post by Craftyatom » Fri Jul 14, 2017 1:21 am

Well, it's been over 2 years since I last posted on this story (just after ch1), but I wanted to re-read this given all the updates it's had, and here we are.

This fic started out kind of poor in my books because of its spelling errors - first two scenes are riddled with 'em. Not that they necessarily detract from the story per se, but I find it very difficult to let them go in the middle of reading. They're immersion-breakers for me, if that makes sense. Anyways, Brythian completely nipped that in the bud, so from the third scene onward everything reads much smoother.

With that out of the way, I'll say that the early scenes also didn't really appeal to me because of the intense levels of banter - nothing necessarily wrong with that, it makes sense that four friends kind of joke around, but sometimes it felt a bit overdone. That said, I'm no good at that kind of interaction irl, let alone writing it, so I'd consider this more of a personal preference than an actual flaw with your characterization.

That said, the situation changed over time, and the closer Hisao and Molly got, the less banter we got and the more each conversation seemed to make sense to me. I guess I'm just a sucker for romance - but you've done an incredible job with it, so I'm happy nonetheless. I felt like the transition from friendship to relationship was well-done, too, but at the same time it's hard to tell because literally everyone (except Mutou, thank heavens) was pushing the protagonists as a "thing" from day one. Again, not necessarily wrong, but it got a bit tiring after a while, in my opinion.

The only other problem I really had with this fic was the way Molly and Hisao were handled in terms of how smart they were. I absolutely love nerdy romance, but I feel like the extent to which you played up the intelligence of the protagonists was a bit too much - they're too smart. I'm not saying they should be dumb, I love that they're both big into science, but the whole "they answer every problem completely correct in record time" is too much. I was momentarily excited to see a line about biology being Molly's "worst science", hoping that she'd actually get some flaws in the intellect department, but she turned out to still be a super star student anyways who just found biology boring. Point is, just because Hisao and Molly are smart doesn't mean they're genius-level, and even then, they shouldn't be as incredibly well-rounded and proficient as they are. No idea if anyone else cared about this, it might just be me, but it felt wrong, in my opinion.

Anyways, having covered all of the bits and pieces I didn't like, I want to stress that I loved coming back and re-reading this. I can't say I enjoyed every paragraph, but that's a ridiculous bar to try and hit, so trust me when I say that you've done a great job so far. The romance is fantastic, the backstory you've given Molly seems well-planned and adds to the story, and your writing is great, especially with a proofreader. I know as well as anyone how much life can get in the way of writing, so no worries about the timing of releases, but I'll be here to get excited about updates as they come!
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Dark Winter Sky, Destroyer, Dreamy, and Project Blue Curtain)
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Oddball
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Re: Gravity-Molly pseudo route [09/07/16]

Post by Oddball » Thu Jul 27, 2017 6:37 pm

This is a good story. Molly comes across as very adorable adn Taro is likewise a strong character.

Suzu tends to be a bit more inconsistent. Sometimes she's a good friend with just some bad manners or habits sometimes she seems to crank it up to megabitch. It's hard to feel like she's a good person that they want to hang around.

The relationship moved along nicely, a bit fast at first, but no deal breaker. It also doesn't feel like a retread of anything else, which is nice. Even having Emi coming across as unlikable was well played.

I do wish we knew more about Rika breaking up the old student council though. That seems like it deserves a fic of its own.
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Path
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Re: Gravity-Molly pseudo route [09/07/16]

Post by Path » Wed Sep 13, 2017 1:37 pm

So i finally got around to read your fic after ignoring it since when I posted mine. Main reason was I thought it would be the same fic and for the most part that is not the case besides a few things, just flipped with how Molly feels about her parents and her brother I think. Which is funny to see how both our fics will play out about that.

Anyways, back to your fic. I like it every word i read and was engaged by the banter between the four characters, while some just seem like banter to be banter, that happens, so its not a bad thing. Suzu being a bitch, lack of better word, is neat and the way she uses Taro, despite having return feelings for adds to it besides "I'm using him cause I can." Taro is neat as well, seems like a bro to Hisao and overall good guy. Any time Taro is in a fic, it's cool how he is interpreted. Looking forward to seeing how those two develop from fuck buddys to couple, if it goes there.

Your Hisao is neat in that he has some layers beside the game version of him being sad because life. His home life seems like a mystery here and in game, but adding glimpses of it and asking question on his stand with his folks. Plus his attempts of being quip is nice and awesome when it falls flat. It kind of reminds me of Suzu version of him but its been forever since i read that one, so i might be off by a lot.

And now to the main character of your fic, Molly. I like her and her geekiness about science, tho it flies over my head sometimes, but thats me not good with science terms. Her trauma is interesting and like I wrote earlier, the family problem is almost the same but reverse on the parent for our fics. Looking forward t seeing how it plays out more after seeing Molly told Hisao about her mother's one night stand.And her Brother? playing a part to her losing her legs i think, is gonna be interesting how it plays out if thats what i think happened, tho i am not good at predicting stuff. In short , I like your Mollly a lot and her point system is adorable.

I like your fic a lot and ignoring it this long made me like it more, seeing what you wrote compared to mine, and seeing the similarities is few but funny to see we had the same ideas. Keep up the good work and looking forward to your next chap, whenever it drops.

PKMNthiefChris
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Re: Gravity-Molly pseudo route [09/07/16]

Post by PKMNthiefChris » Sun Aug 05, 2018 4:54 pm

I started reading this awhile ago but got side tracked by something else at the time, something unimportant like dinner probably. Since I had to call in sick today I sat down and read the whole thing and I gotta say, it's excellent. I like your characterization of all four of your main cast. And I'm as curious about Hisao's past as I am Molly's. Indeed we probably know more, not much more but more, about Molly's past then his at this point. I've seen people saying their relationship moved a bit quickly but I kinda disagree despite seeing where they're coming from. People can develop interest quickly and if that interest is reciprocated quickly the relationship will move quickly. Molly herself acknowledges they don't know a lot about each other yet, but they're both trying to learn and to show. Mr. Kapur seems like a dick to put it bluntly and if this had gone further I'm betting a confrontation (on some level) would've happened sooner or later. I was kinda blind sided by the "Suzu as a bitch" thing but that's just because my head canon is different having been influenced by multiple other fics. The strife there with her and Taro was... interesting. Despite her explanation being sympathetic it doesn't sound like she ever said this to him. So his remarks on her using him and, well, being a bitch are fair, if not accurate. She is using him, even if it's not entirely intended that way.

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