Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

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someguy1294
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Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by someguy1294 » Wed Mar 19, 2014 2:16 am

"You... leave me.... breathless."

My Katawa Shoujo Fan Character, because really, what kind of KS fan would I be if I didn't have an OC?

Kuki Kamikogo is an 18 year-old Yamaku student and creative writer. She suffers from a severe respiratory disability that leaves her constantly short of breath. Her physical stamina is severly reduced, and she frequently needs a cane to rest on. She has a steroid inhaler, which helps to relieve her symptoms, somewhat, but only uses it occasionally. Tends to pause between words when speaking due to shortness of breath. Kuki loves writing poetry and fiction, and hopes to be a professional novelist.

Kuki's route, if one were written, would look something like this:

Act 1
-Hisao encounters Kuki struggling to carry a heavy load of books to her dorm, and helps her. Kuki thanks Hisao, then asks if he some time, as she would like to recite a poem she wrote that day.
-Branch 1
- Listen to the poem. (Unlocks next choice.)
-Tell her you gotta run. (You're just beggin' for a Manly Picnic, ain't ya?)
-Near the end of Act 1, you will be given the option of trying to track down Kuki and seeing if she wants to join you at the festival. This will set you up for her Act 1 ending.
-During the festival, Hisao and Kuki take a walk around campus. They drift towards the games, but it is crowded and noisy there, and Kuki asks Hisao if they can go somewhere quieter. They briefly admire Rin's mural, then move on. Finally, they find an isolated bench in a quiet corner of the school grounds, and Kuki motions for them to rest. They sit and talk, and Kuki asks Hisao if he would be interested in helping her start a Creative Writing Club at Yamaku. Hisao agrees. As the fireworks begin boom, Hisao realizes he can still hear Kuki's breathing.

Act 2: Imagery
-This is the fun and breezy act. Lots of light-hearted goofy moments, growing character intimacy, not much real conflict yet. The Creative Writing Club gets going, and Kuki suggests they try to put together a school fiction magazine. Despite the fact that it's fairly late in the semester, the Club agrees on the idea. Kuki begins writing a short-story for the magazine: an action comedy called, 'The Adventures of Super Scarfu-chan'. Kuki shares some of her fiction with Hisao, gets consistently positive feedback, Hisao never gives criticism. They take walks, on and off campus, and Hisao continually obliges to wait for Kuki when she runs out of breath. Hisao attempts to write a poem about Kuki, but makes little progress, as he fears that Kuki will read into this too much and figure out he has a crush on her. Kuki drops by his dorm room as he is working on the poem to ask him if he has any idea on what he's going to do for the magazine, and spots the poem Hisao is working on. Hisao attempts to hide the poem at first, but ultimately relents. Kuki reads the poem, starts to catch onto Hisao's feelings, smiles, takes his hand, and tell him she thinks the poem will be beautiful when it is finished. Kuki departs and Hisao sits in his dorm feeling confused and excited.

Act 3: Character
-This is the 'everything starts getting all fucked up' act. Kuki begins to percieve that Hisao never criticizes her work, and fears he is patronizing her. She grows moodier during their walks, tells Hisao not to worry about her so much. As the deadline for submission of their magazine approaches, Kuki struggles to finish 'Scarfu-chan' and becomes more and more agitated. Her eyes grow a little baggier every time Hisao sees her, and it becomes clear she is missing sleep. Just before curfew, two days before the deadline, Hisao goes to Kuki's dorm room to check up on her. Her room is dark, and she is hunched over her lap-top, typing, back-spacing, typing, swearing and rubbing her forehead. She asks Hisao to read the ending she has written to 'The Adventures of Super Scarfu-chan': Scarfu-chan has finally reached the Evil Lord Blubber-lumps fortress, where the lovely Princess Boob-squisher is being held captive. Scarfu duels Blubber-lumps with laser katanas, kills him, saves the princess and they live happily ever after. Kuki asks Hisao what he thinks.
-Branch 2 (Crisis 1)
-Tell her it's perfect.
Leads to a rather Hanako-esque Bad Ending. Kuki blows up in Hisao's face, and tells him to stop patronizing her and get the fuck out.
-Suggest a change.
Hisao suggests that the Princess somehow help Scarfu defeat Blubber-lumps. Kuki gets annoyed, points out that the Princess is locked up, can't help. Hisao suggests she break free somehow, suggests they work together to help and protect each other so it's not all about Scarfu. Kuki gets more annoyed, snaps at Hisao, immediately regrets it. She apologizes, asks Hisao to leave her room so she can focus on writing. Hisao leaves, feeling grim.

Act 4: Voice
-After the magazine is published, the Creative Writing Club decides to have a sort of 'Writer's Open-House' where readers of the magazine can come talk to the people who wrote it. An hour or so before the Open House, Kuki approaches Hisao, somewhat awkwardly, and asks if he'd like to do something before the Open-House.
-Branch 3 (Crisis 2)
-Suggest you go back to Kuki's dorm room and read more of her old manuscripts.
Leads to Neutral Ending. Kuki takes Hisao to her room, reluctantly. It is hot and cramped inside, and Kuki is having trouble focusing on reading. Ultimately, she gives up. They leave her dorm, Kuki goes to the Open-House, and they barely speak again.
-Suggest you go for a walk together in the woods.
Leads to Good Ending. As they walk, Kuki begins to relax. She begins to tell Hisao, in-between gasps, of her real feelings. They reach the top of a hill, and stop to rest. Hisao and Kuki make up for being shit-heads in Act 3, become aware of how close and how isolated they are, and sexy-tiems happen. Kuki ends up being almost an hour late to the Open House.
At the end of the semester, Kuki goes to Hisao, suddenly panicked, and asks where he is going to go next. After Hisao assures her that he is not going anywhere too far, that he will still be with her, more sexy-tiems happen. The story ends with Hisao and Kuki cuddling, Hisao listening, once again, to Kuki's breathing as it finally seems to relax and slow.

...Not sure if I'll ever have the time to write her a route in full detail, but I wanted to scribble down the ideas I had before I forgot them.

-Artist's Notes-
-Went with a respiratory disability because I have asthma (and also, chronic bronchitis, because my body is an asshole). I'm not impaired like Kuki, thankfully.
-Kuki's constant pausing in speech due to breathlessness was partially inspired by the character Stevie Kenarban, from Malcom in the Middle. Which isn't really my favorite show, but I liked that character trait anyways.
-Kuki is frequently mistaken for an American. Probably because of how her nose is drawn.
-The bottom three expressions represent Kuki's Bad, Neutral and Good ending, respectively.
-I drew her pupils smaller and her teeth sharper in the 'GTFO' face to make her looks scarier.
-I'm not actually that great at drawing tear-drops.
-I dig the way her hair came out.
-I did this without reference pictures, so Kuki's outfit may not be exactly the same as the standard Yamaku uniform.
-For the benefit of my fellow Yuri fans, I'm gonna go ahead and say she's bisexual. And likes receiving oral a lot.

Hope you think she's cute!
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My OC, Kuki Kamikogo: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=9500

Favorite Katawa Girls, in Order from Best to Worst:
Rin, Hanako, Misha, Miki, Akira, Emi's Mom, Emi, Yuuko, Shizune, Iwanako, Lilly.

Lilly had a cell-phone. That is all.

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Munchenhausen
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by Munchenhausen » Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:49 am

"You... leave me.... breathless."
That sounds strangely familiar...
-Kuki's constant pausing in speech due to breathlessness was partially inspired by the character Stevie Kenarban, from Malcolm in the Middle. Which isn't really my favorite show, but I liked that character trait anyways.
AHA I KNEW IT :P

All in all, I actually like this idea, mate :D
I do admit, the significance of her heavy breathing at the end of Acts 1 + 4 do contain some pretty potential feels-ery.
And to top it off, you manage to include Hisao's White-Knightery very alive. Kudos!

It's good to see someone putting their OC out there! Even if full routes are usually too long for me to finish, I enjoy seeing loads of different characters, each with their own individual personalities and traits. She seems a pretty well thought out lass :P

Nice work!
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

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SpunkySix
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by SpunkySix » Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:11 pm

I kind of like this a lot. Nice.
"Spunky at his Spunkyest/Spunkiest"
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someguy1294
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by someguy1294 » Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:44 pm

Thanks a lot, guys! Glad for the feedback.
My OC, Kuki Kamikogo: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=9500

Favorite Katawa Girls, in Order from Best to Worst:
Rin, Hanako, Misha, Miki, Akira, Emi's Mom, Emi, Yuuko, Shizune, Iwanako, Lilly.

Lilly had a cell-phone. That is all.

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SpunkySix
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by SpunkySix » Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:56 am

someguy1294 wrote:Thanks a lot, guys! Glad for the feedback.
Sure. I'd need to see the whole thing play out, but this actually seems well planned and not some Mary Sue lazily plopped into the setting.
"Spunky at his Spunkyest/Spunkiest"
"Tissues to the extreme!"

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Munchenhausen
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by Munchenhausen » Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:53 am

SpunkySix wrote:
someguy1294 wrote:Thanks a lot, guys! Glad for the feedback.
Sure. I'd need to see the whole thing play out, but this actually seems well planned and not some Mary Sue lazily plopped into the setting.
This.
I swear, if I see one more OC who just so happens to also be a heavily scarred orphan, I will shit on someone's dog.
on the subject let's just pretend my OC's amputated arm wouldn't be a complete ripoff of Miki
Last edited by Munchenhausen on Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

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someguy1294
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by someguy1294 » Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:56 am

Munchenhausen wrote:
SpunkySix wrote:
someguy1294 wrote:Thanks a lot, guys! Glad for the feedback.
Sure. I'd need to see the whole thing play out, but this actually seems well planned and not some Mary Sue lazily plopped into the setting.
This.
I swear, if I see one more OC who just so happens to happens to also be a heavily scarred orphan, I will shit on someone's dog.
on the subject let's just pretend my OC's amputated arm wouldn't be a complete ripoff of Miki
A Hanako Copy-Cat Sue? How does that even work?

"I'm MORE burnt and scarred than that other orphan. And sadder. You should white-knight me instead of her."
My OC, Kuki Kamikogo: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=9500

Favorite Katawa Girls, in Order from Best to Worst:
Rin, Hanako, Misha, Miki, Akira, Emi's Mom, Emi, Yuuko, Shizune, Iwanako, Lilly.

Lilly had a cell-phone. That is all.

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Munchenhausen
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by Munchenhausen » Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:40 am

someguy1294 wrote: A Hanako Copy-Cat Sue? How does that even work?

"I'm MORE burnt and scarred than that other orphan. And sadder. You should white-knight me instead of her."
Try it from the other person's point of view.

"Oh hey there, horrifically burnt girl! I have just transferred from a school in America for no logical reason whatsoever and I have been both orphanned and horrifically burned by a housefire! U wont sum fukk?"

Go to FanFiction.net and count how many OC fics feature that setup.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by Silentcook » Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:24 am

Munchenhausen wrote:Go to FanFiction.net
Found your mistake. :3
Shattering your dreams since '94.

Image

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Munchenhausen
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by Munchenhausen » Mon Apr 21, 2014 12:19 pm

Silentcook wrote:
Munchenhausen wrote:Go to FanFiction.net
Found your mistake. :3
I was young and foolish! I didn't know any better!
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

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YutoTheOrc
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by YutoTheOrc » Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:10 am

someguy1294 wrote:"I'm MORE burnt and scarred than that other orphan. And sadder. You should white-knight me instead of her."
:lol: I laughed when I read that. Really good job though, I liked how you drew your OC, and planned her root out route out; seems smarter then me just vomiting out my ideas for every chapter :P. If you ever do make a route for her count me a reader! I would find that very interesting, especially considering that their is a lack of writer's in Yamaku academy it seems. Would be interesting considering Hisao is such an avid reader and she could supply "The coke to the addict" so to speak. Since she's bisexual would there be any chance for a threesome? With Misha maybe? ;)

My dirty mind aside, I enjoyed this. Both looking at the character, getting a feel for her personality, and getting an idea of how her life and Hisao's may have been.

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someguy1294
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by someguy1294 » Sun Aug 10, 2014 9:36 pm

YutoTheOrc wrote:
someguy1294 wrote:"I'm MORE burnt and scarred than that other orphan. And sadder. You should white-knight me instead of her."
:lol: I laughed when I read that. Really good job though, I liked how you drew your OC, and planned her root out route out; seems smarter then me just vomiting out my ideas for every chapter :P. If you ever do make a route for her count me a reader! I would find that very interesting, especially considering that their is a lack of writer's in Yamaku academy it seems. Would be interesting considering Hisao is such an avid reader and she could supply "The coke to the addict" so to speak. Since she's bisexual would there be any chance for a threesome? With Misha maybe? ;)

My dirty mind aside, I enjoyed this. Both looking at the character, getting a feel for her personality, and getting an idea of how her life and Hisao's may have been.
Thanks a ton, Yuto. I'm kinda pinched on time right now, so I don't know that I'll ever write a full route for her, but I did want to get her down on paper.

Threesome with Misha sounds glorious! Now if could just make it plot relevant... :lol:
My OC, Kuki Kamikogo: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=9500

Favorite Katawa Girls, in Order from Best to Worst:
Rin, Hanako, Misha, Miki, Akira, Emi's Mom, Emi, Yuuko, Shizune, Iwanako, Lilly.

Lilly had a cell-phone. That is all.

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ParagonTerminus
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by ParagonTerminus » Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:43 pm

This was actualky so good that it has spurred me to try and thnk up an OC of my own. Only issue is, I was gonna make respirstory problems my thing... Hmm...

Oh well, enough about me. Good job! Me like!
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by Oddball » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:24 pm

Munchenhausen wrote:
someguy1294 wrote: A Hanako Copy-Cat Sue? How does that even work?

"I'm MORE burnt and scarred than that other orphan. And sadder. You should white-knight me instead of her."
Try it from the other person's point of view.

"Oh hey there, horrifically burnt girl! I have just transferred from a school in America for no logical reason whatsoever and I have been both orphanned and horrifically burned by a housefire! U wont sum fukk?"

Go to FanFiction.net and count how many OC fics feature that setup.
I think we've even seen a few of those on the forum itself.

They also pretty much ignore Hanako issues because the author('s character) has only recently been hurt so he understands PERFECTLY just what it's like to grow up horribly disfigured.
Not Dead Yet

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someguy1294
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Re: Kuki Kamikogo (OC time! Yayz!)

Post by someguy1294 » Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:03 am

ParagonTerminus wrote:This was actualky so good that it has spurred me to try and thnk up an OC of my own. Only issue is, I was gonna make respirstory problems my thing... Hmm...

Oh well, enough about me. Good job! Me like!
There are certainly room enough for two OC's with respiratory problems. :lol: Maybe yours can be a tuba player, or a cross-country runner?

Joking aside, I'm really glad you like my OC, and I hope you can come up with your own.
My OC, Kuki Kamikogo: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=9500

Favorite Katawa Girls, in Order from Best to Worst:
Rin, Hanako, Misha, Miki, Akira, Emi's Mom, Emi, Yuuko, Shizune, Iwanako, Lilly.

Lilly had a cell-phone. That is all.

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