Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 21-11-2016)

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Req
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 15/9)

Post by Req »

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Topham
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 15/9)

Post by Topham »

Very nice job! Great to see you update again. I think that shading could use some fine-tuning, but it looks great. Your bodily proportions have improved radically, but perspective, backgrounds, and context are still some things you can work on. Still, overall, well done Req, and I hope to see more!
                                        I miss her.
 
Rin>Suzu>Hanako>Misha>Emi>Lilly>Shizune
Haven't done Lilly's route yet, and have only done good endings so far.
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Sea
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 15/9)

Post by Sea »

I cannot adequately express how awesome this is with words so heres that generic clappy gif thing:
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Never stop drawing!
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Req
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 15/9)

Post by Req »

it's a pity that at this size not all the little jokes are visible.
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Sea
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 15/9)

Post by Sea »

Req wrote:it's a pity that at this size not all the little jokes are visible.
I can see writing on Lily's tome and Mishorc's Warhammer, what do they say?
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Req »

Misha's hammer says Wahahammer.
Lilly is holding a spellbook upside down that says Magic for Dummies.
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Req »

It's Lilly's birthday so I did a thing.

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Jailbreaker
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Jailbreaker »

Lilly's body is twisted kinda funny. Her hips are perpendicular to... the plane of the camera, I guess? Ugh, I don't know the terminology. Anyway, that orientation continues up to her ribcage, but her breasts, shoulders, and head are all tilted towards us. The problem isn't that she's twisted, but that her upper and lower torso don't really match up.

Akira's off in a few places, too. Her thumb on the glass seems to be misplaced - it looks like it might fall out of her hand. Then there's her face... Either you gave her a massive man-chin, or her facial features aren't lined up with her facial structure. Also, her waistline - where her shirt meets her pants - is a bit crooked, I think, or maybe her hips are. Her legs could also use work - although I'm sure that's a tricky pose to draw.

Next up, Hisao, and boy howdy is his face weird. It's not too bad when you look at it normally, but twist your head to the side and you'll notice that he looks like Homo erectus! Again, I think this is a problem of lining up his face with his head - the former looks like it's been pulled away from the latter. Speaking of things that look like apes, Hisao's hands. One of them has a pinky that's his widest finger (and the other fingers have misplaced knuckles, I think.) The other looks like someone stuck a square of flesh onto the end of his arm - where's his thumb?

Finally, Hanako. The first thing I notice is that she looks kinda short and fat. Realistic or not, Hanako is a pretty skinny girl in-game, with a narrower chest (left-and-right-wise) and waist. Next, her hat - it lays flat on her head. Take a look at how it appears in-game. Hats are big. Her hands aren't too bad, but they're in the wrong position to hold that menu. Or maybe the menu's in the wrong position. Finally, she looks like she has some massive cheeks and a tiny nose - but that might be the menu's fault. Stupid menu, you're ruining everything...

Okay, I lied, that wasn't final. The feet and the surface of the table seem to be at different angles - although maybe that's intentional?

Now that I've layered the negatives on you, I should let you know what looks good. Akira's facial expression, for starters. You can tell she's getting kinda tired of the lovebirds. The shading in general is fairly nice, except that you forgot the menu. You also did the proportions well. I think everyone's legs should be longer, but don't quote me on it. I also like the clothing. I can see that Akira's tie is loose - nice detail-age.

The best part of this picture, of course, is that it's so obvious that Lilly is in a thong. Ara, ara...
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Req »

Thanks for the in-depth feedback, I'm not entirely happy with how it turned out myself, but at a certain point I became more set on finishing this on the 7th than fixing everything wrong with it (incidentally, most of those issues have already been covered in your analysis). At the very least, this thing is indicative of all the things I'm still struggling with, proportions, hands, facial expressions, hands, clothing, HANDS, backgrounds, FUCKING HANDS I HATE YOU SO MUCH- but I digress.
Rest assured that with your help, I'll make sure the next drawing improves on this ol' thing.
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Sea »

If I may poke one more hole in it, Lily's back leg is just . . . . about 1/2 of what it should be, if it's tucked behind Hisao's I cant really tell.

That said, I love it, and that you're an active KS fan artist, we don't have enough of them.
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Jailbreaker »

Hands are just the hardest thing, man. It's like... a square, but also not a square, and they're flat but they aren't flat. Then there are fingers, which look straight, but they aren't, and they aren't the same thickness the whole way along, and there simultaneously is and isn't space between them...

Maybe we should all just draw Rin from now on.
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Sea »

Jailbreaker wrote: Maybe we should all just draw Rin from now on.
I am ok with this
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Munchenhausen »

Dat Hanako
Call me sadistic, but I love Hanako's PoV being jealous during the Lilly route.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Req »

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Trying out something new
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Re: Reqreation: First steps (Updated: 3/2)

Post by Topham »

Miki and Suzu? 10/10 absolutely love it, your shading looks great. Your outer lines look kinda wonky, but that's probably because you're not used to whatever method you're using.
Suzu's foot tho
                                        I miss her.
 
Rin>Suzu>Hanako>Misha>Emi>Lilly>Shizune
Haven't done Lilly's route yet, and have only done good endings so far.
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