Group shot WIP

Are you a deviant enough dude to post here?
User avatar
muliebrity
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:37 am

Group shot WIP

Post by muliebrity » Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:23 am

Hello.

I'm working on this group shot of KS characters, not in my usual style. I'm looking for critique of anything that sticks out before painting. Let me know what you think (right click and select view in new window/tab). Thank you for taking a look.
Attachments
group1clr.jpg
group1clr.jpg (329.96 KiB) Viewed 3723 times
<Xanatos>: Most certainly, matriarch appreciator.
My hobby: taking Xan quotes out of context.
Unorthodox KS Fanart
I loved every minute of KS, every route.

User avatar
Sedinus
Posts: 68
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2013 5:15 am
Location: Poland/Germany
Contact:

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by Sedinus » Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:28 am

Aside from Hisao's mouth (weird shape/expression), Emi's and Misha's chins (too squary) there's nothing wrong with it.

Oh wait. Hanako's smile is unusually impish. Don't know if whether it was intentional or not.

Miki looks absolutely fantastic.
Image
Image

User avatar
muliebrity
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:37 am

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by muliebrity » Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:39 am

Sedinus wrote:Aside from Hisao's mouth (weird shape/expression), Emi's and Misha's chins (too squary) there's nothing wrong with it.

Oh wait. Hanako's smile is unusually impish. Don't know if whether it was intentional or not.

Miki looks absolutely fantastic.
Thank you, I'll work on Hisao and Misha. I was trying to make Misha look a little on the chubby side, so I'll round out her face more. Emi will be tricky for me, as her jawline appears that way due to the angle, but I'll see if I can do something about it. Do you think making Hisao's mouth smaller would help?

I'm trying to make Hanako look as happy as possible without undermining her reserved nature, but the "impish" look may also be due to the slightly bottom-up angle, for the sake of which I flattened the mouth somewhat. This isn't my usual style, so I'm not sure I'm handling these things well, any further input would be helpful.

I'm really happy with how Miki turned out, too. :)

EDIT: I've adjusted the shape of Emi's face, rounded out Misha's and redrawn Hisao's mouth. I'd really like to know if this improves the issues you noted.
Attachments
group1clr-edit1.jpg
group1clr-edit1.jpg (329.91 KiB) Viewed 3713 times
<Xanatos>: Most certainly, matriarch appreciator.
My hobby: taking Xan quotes out of context.
Unorthodox KS Fanart
I loved every minute of KS, every route.

User avatar
Sedinus
Posts: 68
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2013 5:15 am
Location: Poland/Germany
Contact:

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by Sedinus » Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:42 am

Yeah, Hisao mouth may a bit too big. Emi's cheeks/chin are still too wide - she's the tiniest girl in the game, so face this huge doesn't really fit.

I tried to fix it a little, but didn't quite have the balls to finish her left cheek - I know that I'd screw it up if I went any further.

Also, Hanako's smile still bothers me. Just add pupils, a partially closed eyelid and you've got this "You gonna get raped" expression
.
Attachments
group1clr-edit12.png
group1clr-edit12.png (754.69 KiB) Viewed 3707 times
Image
Image

User avatar
muliebrity
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:37 am

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by muliebrity » Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:06 am

I see what you're saying about Emi, your edit makes it pretty obvious that I should draw in more hair on her left side, or her ear should be visible. I'm not sure I really get what you mean about Hanako, is it her eyes that seem off to you? I'll try adding pupils and see what I think. I think your edit to Hisao's mouth makes it way too small, I think it looks stranger than the original.

Thank you for the help!
<Xanatos>: Most certainly, matriarch appreciator.
My hobby: taking Xan quotes out of context.
Unorthodox KS Fanart
I loved every minute of KS, every route.

User avatar
Sedinus
Posts: 68
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2013 5:15 am
Location: Poland/Germany
Contact:

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by Sedinus » Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:32 am

muliebrity wrote: I'm not sure I really get what you mean about Hanako, is it her eyes that seem off to you?
It's her mouth. It almost feels like she's going to do some perverted stuff to Lilly ;_;
Image
Image

User avatar
muliebrity
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:37 am

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by muliebrity » Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:37 am

Okay, I did my best with Emi, I noticed that making her face any narrower made the angle look funny, so I think this is the bast it will be until I paint it. I tried making Hanako's smile a little smaller, and I think it helped a little, but I'm not sure.
Attachments
group1clr-edit2.jpg
group1clr-edit2.jpg (329.91 KiB) Viewed 3696 times
<Xanatos>: Most certainly, matriarch appreciator.
My hobby: taking Xan quotes out of context.
Unorthodox KS Fanart
I loved every minute of KS, every route.

User avatar
Sedinus
Posts: 68
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2013 5:15 am
Location: Poland/Germany
Contact:

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by Sedinus » Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:53 am

muliebrity wrote: I tried making Hanako's smile a little smaller, and I think it helped a little, but I'm not sure.
It's not about the size, it's about... I don't know, it doesn't really look like she's smiling. Curving the smile on the left should do the trick. Maybe.

Or maybe I'm an idiot. That's also a possibility :D
Attachments
han1.jpg
han1.jpg (42.18 KiB) Viewed 3694 times
Image
Image

User avatar
muliebrity
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:37 am

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by muliebrity » Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:56 am

Sedinus wrote:
muliebrity wrote: I tried making Hanako's smile a little smaller, and I think it helped a little, but I'm not sure.
It's not about the size, it's about... I don't know, it doesn't really look like she's smiling. Curving the smile on the left should do the trick. Maybe.

Or maybe I'm an idiot. That's also a possibility :D
The issue I have with that is that it takes away from the sense that she's looking slightly above the viewer's eye level. Try looking at your own smile in the mirror while looking up slightly, you'll see what I mean. I'll keep this in mind while painting, though, and I'll alter it as needed. The color will add a bit of a dimple to her right side, which should make it more of a smile. Thanks again for all of the help.
<Xanatos>: Most certainly, matriarch appreciator.
My hobby: taking Xan quotes out of context.
Unorthodox KS Fanart
I loved every minute of KS, every route.

User avatar
Oddball
Posts: 2866
Joined: Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:05 pm

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by Oddball » Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:40 pm

First off, it's really really awesome looking. I just want to say that.

As for flaws, there's a few things that stick out to me.

Rin's proportions seems off. The way she's draw, she seems to have really broad shoulders and a short neck. While her sleaves and tie give the impression of movement, her face and hair seems oddly still.

Hisao and Rin's shirts also seem flat. Granted, that might be something you planed on doing when giving it color, but when compared to the lines and seams shown on the girls' shirts, Hisao and Rin seem to lack definition.

There's also a lot of dead space on the back wall. Adding some posters tacked up or a window would do lots to give the room more life. (A window would also give you the option of having Kenji peaking in. He seems conspicuously absent.)

Finally, I'm going to be nitpicky. This is a real minor complaint, but given the amount of detail you've shown here, the desks themselves seem to be remarkably plain. Having a few lose papers, a books, or a pencil or two would give it more life.
Not Dead Yet

User avatar
muliebrity
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:37 am

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by muliebrity » Thu Mar 21, 2013 12:19 am

Oddball wrote:First off, it's really really awesome looking. I just want to say that.
Thanks!
Rin's proportions seems off. The way she's draw, she seems to have really broad shoulders and a short neck. While her sleaves and tie give the impression of movement, her face and hair seems oddly still.
You know, you're absolutely right. I did her last, and I got lazy at that point. I can definitely give her face a more appropriate position given the action she's taking (I may just have to redo the whole pose). I kind of like her hair moving less than that of her compatriots in the back, I imagine her having thicker hair for some reason, but I'll see what I can do. Her head is slightly the wrong size, too, you're right about the proportions being off.
Hisao and Rin's shirts also seem flat. Granted, that might be something you planed on doing when giving it color, but when compared to the lines and seams shown on the girls' shirts, Hisao and Rin seem to lack definition.
There are a bunch of details in the pencil that I just neglected to ink with them, for some reason. I agree with your assessment.
There's also a lot of dead space on the back wall. Adding some posters tacked up or a window would do lots to give the room more life. (A window would also give you the option of having Kenji peaking in. He seems conspicuously absent.)
I am bothered by this, too, and I was intending to add little details in the painting stage. I initially didn't want to do a window because I was basing the room off of Mutou's classroom in the game, which would have windows on the right in this image, but windows would add a lot to the scene, and I'm not sure I would want to put much else back there. There is of course room in those empty desks for other characters if I choose to go that route. As for Kenji, I don't think he'd be in this room as it is without some sort of weapon, and given his lack of eyesight I'm not sure having him peer inside would make much sense, but I'll consider ways of getting him in there. I was intending this to be just Hisao and the girls, but I just had to add Miki.
Finally, I'm going to be nitpicky. This is a real minor complaint, but given the amount of detail you've shown here, the desks themselves seem to be remarkably plain. Having a few lose papers, a books, or a pencil or two would give it more life.
That's been my intention. I'm leaving that detail work for after I finish painting the rest, as the space and how the characters fit into it won't be affected much by the added detritus. Not nitpicky at all, the image would be boring if left as is, and it wouldn't look like a classroom.

Thanks for the critique, it helped a lot.
<Xanatos>: Most certainly, matriarch appreciator.
My hobby: taking Xan quotes out of context.
Unorthodox KS Fanart
I loved every minute of KS, every route.

User avatar
pandaphil
Posts: 2149
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:54 am
Location: Seattle, WA
Contact:

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by pandaphil » Thu Mar 21, 2013 12:26 am

I dunno, I really kinda like it. The only face that really seems off to me is Lilly's. Her expression just seems strange.

Hanako is fine. I don't see any reason she shouldn't smile when she's with her best friend.

And while it does seem odd seeing Hisao smiling so energetically, it doesn't bug me really. Its nice seeing him fitting in. I can only imagine he and one of the girls have already hooked up.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.

User avatar
muliebrity
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:37 am

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by muliebrity » Thu Mar 21, 2013 12:34 am

pandaphil wrote:I dunno, I really kinda like it. The only face that really seems off to me is Lilly's. Her expression just seems strange.
It's driving me crazy! I don't get anime style profiles at all, and I was hoping that was good enough, but I'll have to do some research, or just do the profile the way I would.
Hanako is fine. I don't see any reason she shouldn't smile when she's with her best friend.
I've also come around to preferring the way I orginally drew her. I think the painting will make it look more natural.
And while it does seem odd seeing Hisao smiling so energetically, it doesn't bug me really. Its nice seeing him fitting in. I can only imagine he and one of the girls have already hooked up.
Personally, I would have trouble not smiling around Misha, I was probably projecting. Though you have a point, looking at it, this doesn't really suit him.
<Xanatos>: Most certainly, matriarch appreciator.
My hobby: taking Xan quotes out of context.
Unorthodox KS Fanart
I loved every minute of KS, every route.

User avatar
pandaphil
Posts: 2149
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:54 am
Location: Seattle, WA
Contact:

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by pandaphil » Thu Mar 21, 2013 2:40 am

Maybe opening Lilly's eyes will improve her expression?

And yeah, its like Rin said, Hisao just looks way too grim all the time. He needs a girl to cheer him up. :)

Anyway, I like it a lot!
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.

User avatar
muliebrity
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:37 am

Re: Group shot WIP

Post by muliebrity » Thu Mar 21, 2013 3:10 am

pandaphil wrote:Maybe opening Lilly's eyes will improve her expression?
Believe it or not, that's the first thing I tried after reading your comment. I'm on the fence about it, but once I've made the edits according to the feedback I've received, I'd love to see if you think they helped.
<Xanatos>: Most certainly, matriarch appreciator.
My hobby: taking Xan quotes out of context.
Unorthodox KS Fanart
I loved every minute of KS, every route.

Post Reply