WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU-
THE COURAGE: THE COWARDLY CRIPPLE SHOW, STARRING HISAO, THE COWARDLY CRIPPLE!
A HEART SO RACIST IT'S A HATE CRIME, HE WAS FOUND BY YAMFUCKU HIGH, WHO'S LOCATION IS THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH IT'S STUDENTS, A BUNCH OF DISABLED SCHOOL GIRLS-
BUT CREEPY STUFF HAPPENS IN NOWHERE...
IT'S UP TO HISAO TO SAVE HIS NEW SCHOOL-
The TV shuts off and very angry Shizune turns to you in her student council chair.
"...!", she signs furiously.
"STUPID HIICHAN! YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD!", Misha translated from afar.
Shizune pulls out the scariest mask you've ever seen and puts it on.
"H-Hello?", you ask as you creak open the door and walk into the Nurse's Office.
"Yes... Yes... I'm coming...", a strangely apathetic sounding male voice rings out.
A man wearing a black lab coat with dark red stains comes out from the back, carrying a box full of medication in front of him so it shields the top half of his body. His long black hair swings around as if it were trying to free itself from his scalp.
He places the box on the wall opposite of you, and begins to open and unpack the contents.
"You're Mr. Necktie... Would that be... correct?", the Nurse's Aid speaks in a calm but somehow sorrowful voice while turning his back to you.
Huh? He doesn't seem too... weird.
You nod your head in impulse in confirmation despite him not being able to see you doing it.
"You'll have to speak up... I can heartly hear you", he remarks in a deafly depressing tone.
"Uh... So, what did you want to see me about?", you ask while scratching your hair.
"What did I want to see you about...? Heartly a social visit... Never quite is... I'm here to help you medically, that's what Nurses do...", he explains in a still depressed voice.
...What's this guy's problem?
He turns around to face you and continue his speech-
"OOOOOHHHH!", you OOOOHHH in shock.
The man's dark purple pupils are shaped like hearts!? T-THE CORNER OF HIS LIPS CURL AROUND AND FORM A HEART AS WELL!!!
How is that possible!?-
"So I heard you had a problem with your heart.. Arrhythmia and the like..."
"UH...UH...UHH...", you begin to shake as you figure out a way to answer that without drawing attention to his weird shaped pupils.
"I once had a problem with MY heart too", he explains in a deep voice while nonchalantly begins to set out surgery tools on the counter next to him.
"I did... So I took it out."
The man takes out a still beating human heart from his pocket and squeezes it in front of your face.
"...It was HEARTly worth having..."
You high tail it to the computer room and find a computer that's still on-
"I... AM... BEING STALKED... BY... A.. CRAZY NURSE... WHO... WANTS... MY... HEART... HELP HELP HELP!", you type frantically onto the computer.
"...Processing...", a lethargic sounding voice comes from the speakers.
"....Avast Virus Database has been updated"
"WHAT DO I DO!?", you yell while shaking the computer monitor violently.
"OKAY! OKAY! No need to act like a savage, you twit. So a Nurse is after your heart, that should be a good thing. You're young and virile, she's probably open to a lot of things depending on her particular age group-"
"Oh... Well... As long as you have an open mind-"
"HE...WANTS...TO...CUT OUT... MY...HEART!"
"Oh, well, that's different", the computer rings out in a uninterested voice.
"...", you tap your foot and cross your arms.
"Well, have you tried telling him that you DON'T want to have your heart removed, you nissy?"
"HE..DOESN'T...SEEM...TO BE.. IN.. A...RATIONAL-"
"Have you tried calling the cops?"
"You really ARE a twit"
You take out your cell phone and ring up the police, wasting precious minutes you could've saved for drunk ex-girlfriend dialing later.
"911 Operator speaking, what appears to be the emergency?"
"HELP! THIS CRAZY HEART STEALING NIGGA IS TRYING TO CUT OUT MY HEART AND HE WALKS ON WALLS WITH SPIDERS"
"...This is Hisao Necktie, isn't it?"
"Next time you call, I'm reporting"
The operator hangs up.
"OOOOOOH! WHAT...ELSE...CAN...I...DO!?", you type into the computer again.
"Well, how about calling for help or finding a weapon? Personally, I couldn't care less if you have your organs harvested on the black market, you twit", the computer computes.
"...", you type in one of the spam sites you can't exit out of into the URL bar.
"W-What are you doing?", the computer responds.
"Good luck Control-Alt-Deleting yourself", you remark as you leave the room with Meatspin playing.
"EW... EW...! GROSS! SOMEBODY? ANYBODY!? I HATE DEAD OR ALIVE!", the computer hopelessly screams out.
You use this time to crawl outside the entrance in the back-
You come out inside the Nurse's office from a ventilation entrance.
...But it's night outside.
Just how long were you out?
You run outside only to encounter millions of spiders crawling around the school grounds, hundreds of webbed cocoons littering the area.
"OH NO...", you blurt out as you realize they're full of other students.
The burned nurse walks out of the Nurse's office with charred eyebrows and reddened eyes.
"I really wish you hadn't done that"
Hanako's face peeks out from within the cocoon and crawls out.
"H-HISAO!?", she yelps out, glad to see a familiar face.
"HANAKO... THE SPIDERS..."
T-They scare me..."
"NO HANAKO... THE SPIDERS... THEY..."
"THEY TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE"
Withing minutes, the cocoons, the spiders, the webbing around the school was raped, humiliated, and devoured by Hanako and Hanako alone.
"YES!", you shout out in happiness.
"NOOO! NOOOOOOO!", you hear the spider queen's voice yell out as she emerges from the school's entrance.
She sees the carnage around her, her children being eaten by a burn scarred girl, and her husband/boyfriend/creepy fetish friend standing by the hallway steaming.
"W-WHAT DID YOU DO!?", she screams out.
"Simple, I gave Hanako the chocolate", you flip out a pair of shades and slip them on...
...Only to fall apart as if they were horizontally sliced.
"AH, Saw from before probably did that"
"Y-YOU... FREAKS! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS! I'LL BE BACK! YOU HEAR ME!? I'LL BE BAAAAAACK!", she screams out as she takes a hold of the crazy heart nurse.