The Unofficial Katawa Shoujo Theme Song

[Xanatos]

Credit to Pyramid Head for initially connecting KS and Portal in conversation. And thanks to misterprinny for the first verse. I filled in the rest because I'm insane and have too much free time. WAHAHAHA~! (I'm also way too amused by the italicized lines.)

This is a triumph
I'm making a note here: MANLY TEARS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
Katawa Shoujo
We fuck cute cripples, because, we can.
For the perv in all of us
Except the ones who are sane.

But there's no sense crying over spilt lemon lube.
You just keep on trying 'til you fall off the roof
The food stall is done
And we're selling hot buns
For the people who are still playing.

I'm not even fapping.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though Lilly is hot
And horny.
And blindfolded Hisao
And fucked him so good his heart gave out
As he hurt, I sighed, because that's really awkward.

Now these festival stalls make a really fun time
And we're out of classes
Let's go to the Shanghai.
So I'm glad I transferred
Think of all the h-scenes we earned
For the people who are still playing.

Go ahead and comfort.
I think Misha's hotter anyway.
Maybe you'll find someone else to love you.
Maybe Jigoro.
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FUCK OFF.
Anyway, this whiskey's great.
It's so delicious and moist.

Look at me still moping
When there's more routes to do
When I go check out books, it makes me glad I'm not Yuu(ko).
I've council errands to run
There is feeling to be done
For the people who are still playing
And believe me I am still playing.
I'm at a jazz club and I'm still playing.
I lost at Risk but I am still playing.
Rin's really weird and I am still playing.
Lilly is drunk and I am still playing.
Still playing.
Still playing.~

[theartificial]

Now put this to music...

[Xanatos]

Now put this to music...

I'll need a singer. But I totally will if someone offers vocal talent.

[theartificial]

Now put this to music...

I'll need a singer. But I totally will if someone offers vocal talent.

Why not yourself? Surely your voice could bring a tear to Jigoro's eye.

[Breaker deGodot]

Just wanted to say that I've had a really shitty day and this hilarious song cheered me right up. AWESOME!

[misterprinny]

Well whaddaya know. this makes me very happy.

If I can get my hands on a mic in the near future, I can sing it. Besides, a terrible voice makes it funnier.

[Xanatos]

Just wanted to say that I've had a really shitty day and this hilarious song cheered me right up. AWESOME!

No problem.

Maybe if Jonathan Coulton is a KS fan, he could sing it...

[BlackWaltzTheThird]

I laughed. And laughed. Then laughed a third time. Then I fired up my stereo and sung along to it.

It was then I realised that several lines have some dodgy iambs. In layman's terms, the emphasis on the words is wrong. Each instance of "...still playing" was grating, because the original iambs went thus: "STILL a-LIVE", and so with those words the ING part of playing was emphasized. Which just sounds weird and awkward. I think the original lines of "still alive" work just fine in this context, especially given some of the students' potentially fatal conditions (Hisao, to name one).

There's a few other lines with weird iambs, so I'll go back over it and try to repair them, if that's alright with you. Nice work.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.

[BlackWaltzTheThird]

This is a triumph
I'm making a note here: MANLY TEARS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Katawa Shoujo:
We fuck crippled girls because we can.
For the perv in all of us
Except the ones who are sane.

But there's no sense crying over anal or lube;
You just keep on trying 'til you fall off the roof.
And Rin's mural is done,
And we're selling hot buns,
For the cripples who are still alive.

I'm not even fapping.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though dear Lilly's hot,
And horny.
She blindfolded Hisao,
And fucked him so hard his heart gave out.
As he HNNNNG-ed, I sighed, because I was embarrassed for him.

Going on a "date" during festival time.
Now we're out of classes
Let's meet at the Shanghai.
I'm so glad I transferred
Think of all the 'H' we earned
Of the cripples who are still alive.

Go ahead and comfort.
I think I'd prefer her for DEM THIGHS.
Maybe you'll find someone else to love you.
Maybe Jigoro.
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FUCK OFF.
Anyway, this whiskey's great -
So let's go trolling for babes.

Look at me still moping,
When there's more going on.
When I'm checking out books, I try grape-scented cologne.
Student Council errands run,
So much feeling to be done,
Over cripples who are still alive.

And believe me I am still alive.
I'm at a jazz club and I'm still alive.
I lost at Risk but I am still alive.
Rin's really weird and I am still alive.
Thwarting snipers and I'm still alive.
Still alive.
Still alive.~

There, that oughta do it. I matched the iambs as best I can. Also added some Kenji references. Cause he's a bro.

[OtakuNinja]

Just wanted to say that I've had a really shitty day and this hilarious song cheered me right up. AWESOME!

No problem.

Maybe if Jonathan Coulton is a KS fan, he could sing it...

Why not show it to roneryanon on YouTube? He has a great voice for this kind of stuff.

[Xanatos]

[blah blah songwriting stuff]

Screw iambs, it's a song about cripples. And the only one with a potentially fatal condition is Hisao.

[Helbereth]

looked this over and decided to give it my own reworking; figuring on making it a little less specific for a general audience. I've also changed the refrain to something more in line with the subject matter.

This is a triumph
I'm making a note here: MANLY TEARS.
It's hard to compensate for this attraction
Katawa Shoujo
Chase cripples with lust, because, we can.
For the perv in all of us,
Except the ones who are sane.

But there's no sense crying over spilt lemon lube.
You just keep on trying 'til you make a mistake
And the afternoon comes
But arrhythmia has won
Being sent far away; Yamaku

I'm not even fapping.
It's awkward you know, but hey, I tried
Even though these girls are hot,
And horny.
They're falling to pieces
Emotions run high, no lie, they're mired
And these feels, they hurt because, they all remind me of you

Now these festival stalls make a really fun time
And we're out of classes, so let's hit the Shanghai.
And I'm glad I transferred
Still so much I haven't learned
Being sent far away; Yamaku

Come find some comfort,
There's so much I know you try to hide
Maybe you'll find someone here to love you;
Maybe Jigoro.
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FUCK OFF.
Anyway, this whiskey's great,
But don't get vicious, white knight

Look at me still moping,
When there's finals to do.
It's a school, you jerk; now get your head on straight, fool
Some experiments to run
In the shed, they'll be real fun
Being sent far away; Yamaku

And believe me I'm at Yamaku.
I'm playing Risk with deaf mutes; Yamaku.
Armless, blind, legless, burned; Yamaku.
Because they're in love with me; Yamaku.
I'm fucking cripples here at Yamaku.
Yamaku.
Yamaku.~

[Zezin]

I want to have a response. But I can't find the words to say how horrible those lyrics are.

[Brisingr]

Why do you need words? I use pics I collect online. For example:



I can keep going but I think you get the point and I think I'm pushing it a little. While I agree that the lyrics that Helbereth offered are not quite as good as the OP's, he has at least put some effort into it unlike myself or you Zezin. It's easy to insult people but it's hard to appease the masses. I believe this forum was intended for KS fans like us to come together, discuss the original VN, share ideas and generally enjoy the atmosphere of like minded people, not to put them down.

[Xanatos]

it's hard to appease the masses.

Actually, that's easy. Just give them Family Guy or Avatar. It's the rest of us that can't be appeased.