Criminal girls

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rabbitt773
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 6:45 am

Re: Criminal girls

Post by rabbitt773 » Wed Feb 01, 2012 6:53 pm

I've updated the first post with Shizune's and Kenji's profiles. Since the idea of Hisao having anger management issues seems to be popular I think I'll go with something along those lines, although I may have to change it to avoid it being too similar to Emi. After I've made a profile for Hisao I'll probably go back and flesh out the original backgrounds for the characters so that they are closer to those of Shizune and Kenji.

Zoram
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:23 pm

Re: Criminal girls

Post by Zoram » Wed Feb 01, 2012 9:12 pm

I was thinking that Misha's sentimental attraction to Shizune may be mantained some way... What was that psychological thing called, "transfert"? Misha, bein an aspiring counsellor, at first is afraid of staying with Shizune, who despite the guilt is still the same pushy girl who wants to be a leader. However, as she starts gradually bonding with Shizune, she becomes fascinated with her and often, she actually does not stop Shizune from acting badly, to the point of closing an eye, covering her, and sometimes even outright helping her! Obviously this would make her extremely confused and conflicted; in this context, there would be a different reason for her to seek "comfort" in Hisao...

lemonlube
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2012 5:05 am

Re: Criminal girls

Post by lemonlube » Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:26 pm

Kenji :At one time he was flamboyantly gay(or just passive aggressive), because of this trait he made a lot of female friends, when one of them tries to confess to him ; she gets harshly rejected, and even rips up her clothes and accuses Kenji of rape, the court finds him guilty and sends him to brown..... i mean yamaku.
(Evil feminist judge! :shock: )

He is innocent and possibly the most sane person there even offering to help you through some of your troubles, as he attempts to stay out of most public focus.

Murex
Posts: 63
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 9:55 pm

Re: Criminal girls

Post by Murex » Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:50 pm

Zoram wrote:I was thinking that Misha's sentimental attraction to Shizune may be mantained some way... What was that psychological thing called, "transfert"? Misha, bein an aspiring counsellor, at first is afraid of staying with Shizune, who despite the guilt is still the same pushy girl who wants to be a leader. However, as she starts gradually bonding with Shizune, she becomes fascinated with her and often, she actually does not stop Shizune from acting badly, to the point of closing an eye, covering her, and sometimes even outright helping her! Obviously this would make her extremely confused and conflicted; in this context, there would be a different reason for her to seek "comfort" in Hisao...
Sounds good; that backstory parallels Misha's canon portrayal and actions, and creates some nice conflict. The lack of Misha's guidance and supervision would mean that Shizune would have to become a better person through her own choice.

This idea seems to be really taking off. Good job, OP, and props to everyone else who's contributed.

Klon

Re: Criminal girls

Post by Klon » Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:52 pm

Perhaps the issue of Hisao feeling out-of-place could be solved easily - have him commited for something most people wouldn't consider sending him to Yamaku. For that, we simply move the location of Iwanako's confession to any place higher-up than that forest. Celebrating their new love, the two are dancing/fooling around at the edge and one thing leads to another and due to Iwanako's parents being quite important persons and obviously distressed by that event, Hisao gets convicted of bodily injury caused by negligence and in an inappropriate sentence sent to the school.

Zoram
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:23 pm

Re: Criminal girls

Post by Zoram » Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:06 pm

Nice idea but I think Hisao would still to have some problems, like the anger issues and fights with other boys, although nothing particularly serious to a level that would have sent him to jail, mixed with the different angle of his parents' rare presence at home I mentioned earlier; this would be used against him when he gets the unfair accusations that lead him to Yamaku. This would be at least to let him have some tougher "shell" - else, he would really not survive girls like Emi and Shizune, and even Lilly seems a tough cookie... Although I can see all of them having weaknesses under a tough shell: Hanako may have this unhealthy obsession with fire but still be mostly shy and reclusive.

The feud between Lilly and Shizune would involve their family problems more and maybe before Hisao came to Yamaku things had gotten very ugly sometimes, leading to catfights and subsequent isolations (which in this Yamaku would mean being temporarily forced to stay in their rooms, the staff locking them from the outside) for both. Misha's role in the Shizune VS Lilly scene would be inverted: since here Shizune can speak for herself, Misha would be the one to desperately try and defuse the situation, though not in the most convincing way because she's still more on Shizune's side. Akira's visits would also be tense, if one wanted to go by the brief characterization I gave of her in an earlier post.

rabbitt773
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 6:45 am

Re: Criminal girls

Post by rabbitt773 » Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:01 pm

Sorry it took a while but here's the profile for Hisao.

Hisao: A combination of neglectful parents and numerous bad experiences at previous schools has led to Hisao Nakai's current predicament. In more recent years Hisao has become reclusive and prone to sudden fits of anger. Previously this has only led to heated arguments and minor scuffles. This all changed however, when his confession of love to Iwanako was rejected. Hisao burst into a sudden rage and badly beat Iwanako before being subdued by several nearby students and teachers. Although Iwanako pleaded with her parents not to press charges the guilt stricken Hisao voluntarily chose to attend Yamaku in the hopes of learning to control his anger.

I may need to change this a bit before adding to the front page. Any comments or criticisms would be much appreciated.

Finally should I add profiles for staff members? I'm not entirely sure about this although I could defiantly see Yuuko as the the head counselor. So what do you think?

Zoram
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:23 pm

Re: Criminal girls

Post by Zoram » Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:18 pm

I don't have time to write much right now but, what do you think about expading the profiles first? Since they are the results of discussions and exchanges of ideas, Hisao and Shizune's ended up richer than the other characters, who would deserve more detail as well (I have some ideas).

rabbitt773
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 6:45 am

Re: Criminal girls

Post by rabbitt773 » Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:29 pm

Zoram wrote:I don't have time to write much right now but, what do you think about expading the profiles first? Since they are the results of discussions and exchanges of ideas, Hisao and Shizune's ended up richer than the other characters, who would deserve more detail as well (I have some ideas).
Well I was planning on doing that next anyway. I just wanted feedback on the staff idea so that I could start coming up with some ideas.

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