Design your character!

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pandaphil
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Re: The Gallery of Original Characters

Post by pandaphil » Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:31 pm

FoxtrotZero wrote:Wow. Really glad I can return to this thread without the prospect of being the only one participating. First, I guess I'll comment on some old posts;
pandaphil wrote:Originally she had haemophilia, but it turns out thats so rare in women that its pretty unlikely.
Haemophilia is rare in the general population of females, yes, but Yamaku isn't a regular sample. I guarantee you that if you picked a really rare disease, the chances of finding someone with it at Yamaku go up a hundredfold. Particularly given that we're creating fictional characters and can thus stretch the boundaries of practicality, unless it's something that's only been documented a few times or something, I don't think "that's a rare condition" is a valid reason. Even if it's rare, that means someone is afflicted with it.
I guess you have a point there. I think I may change her back, since as it turns out, being unable to speak, the bullying, and using a notebook to communicate is a bit too similar to Shouko http://www.mangapark.com/manga/koe-no-katachi/c0/all.

Never realized coming up with a disability could be such a challenge.
Last edited by pandaphil on Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.

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Re: The Gallery of Original Characters

Post by FoxtrotZero » Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:17 pm

pandaphil wrote:
FoxtrotZero wrote:Wow. Really glad I can return to this thread without the prospect of being the only one participating. First, I guess I'll comment on some old posts;
pandaphil wrote:Originally she had haemophilia, but it turns out thats so rare in women that its pretty unlikely.
Haemophilia is rare in the general population of females, yes, but Yamaku isn't a regular sample. I guarantee you that if you picked a really rare disease, the chances of finding someone with it at Yamaku go up a hundredfold. Particularly given that we're creating fictional characters and can thus stretch the boundaries of practicality, unless it's something that's only been documented a few times or something, I don't think "that's a rare condition" is a valid reason. Even if it's rare, that means someone is afflicted with it.
I guess you have a point there. I think I may change her back, since as it turns out, being unable to speak, the bullying, and using a notebook to communicate is a bit too close to Shouko http://www.mangapark.com/manga/koe-no-katachi/c0/all as it turns out.

Never realized coming up with a disability could be such a challenge.
Indeed. I don't remember where I got the idea for the bad leg for my character. I think it started with a romantic notion of a cane - which, in all practicality, was rather quickly replaced by the leg brace. Originally he tumbled down a flight of stairs and, upon mentioning the leg pain whilst being checked up for a minor concussion, the muscle atrophy was discovered.

But that didn't seem very dramatic, and what's more, I had this streak of jealousy when Hisao showed Hanako his scar, so I found a way to have my own. In hindsight, the motives are pretty shit, because it was an intentional rip off of another character, but I liked the changed story - fifteen foot deadfall and four broken ribs - so much that I never decided to switch it back.

In Yamaku, it's hard not to identify with your disability. It's almost like a badge of pride. I'm sure, for example, everyone in the sign-language classes have this curious bond.
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Re: Design your character!

Post by pandaphil » Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:36 pm

Okay, I've redone her profile. Even changed her name. :)

. I kept the calcium deficiency problem since that seemed like such a bizarre aliment. So poor Tet has had quite the string of bad luck in her life. I figured that was bound to have an effect on a person, so I've made her into something of a withdrawn, serious character since I'm a bit like that myself (they do say you should write about what you know).
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.

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Re: Design your character!

Post by FoxtrotZero » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:51 am

pandaphil wrote:Okay, I've redone her profile. Even changed her name. :)

. I kept the calcium deficiency problem since that seemed like such a bizarre aliment. So poor Tet has had quite the string of bad luck in her life. I figured that was bound to have an effect on a person, so I've made her into something of a withdrawn, serious character since I'm a bit like that myself (they do say you should write about what you know).
Indeed. I think it's well done. And I also agree strongly. My character shares a lot of my traits - given name, stature, blood type, and most notably my personality. I could try to enumerate, then, every facet, but it would be difficult at best. I'm considering writing an OC-centered fanfic and risking the walk through hell that including OCs equates to. I came up with another girl, and then her sister, so maybe if I figure out some of the finer details i'll consider writing up bios for them.
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Re: Design your character!

Post by Zykes » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:57 pm

FoxtrotZero wrote:
pandaphil wrote:Okay, I've redone her profile. Even changed her name. :)

. I kept the calcium deficiency problem since that seemed like such a bizarre aliment. So poor Tet has had quite the string of bad luck in her life. I figured that was bound to have an effect on a person, so I've made her into something of a withdrawn, serious character since I'm a bit like that myself (they do say you should write about what you know).
Indeed. I think it's well done. And I also agree strongly. My character shares a lot of my traits - given name, stature, blood type, and most notably my personality. I could try to enumerate, then, every facet, but it would be difficult at best. I'm considering writing an OC-centered fanfic and risking the walk through hell that including OCs equates to. I came up with another girl, and then her sister, so maybe if I figure out some of the finer details i'll consider writing up bios for them.
If you plan to do a OC Fanfic, I would suggest keeping the new bios to yourself(until your finish the story)so it won't ruin parts of your story.
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Re: Design your character!

Post by pandaphil » Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:12 pm

Zykes wrote:
FoxtrotZero wrote:
pandaphil wrote:Okay, I've redone her profile. Even changed her name. :)

. I kept the calcium deficiency problem since that seemed like such a bizarre aliment. So poor Tet has had quite the string of bad luck in her life. I figured that was bound to have an effect on a person, so I've made her into something of a withdrawn, serious character since I'm a bit like that myself (they do say you should write about what you know).
Indeed. I think it's well done. And I also agree strongly. My character shares a lot of my traits - given name, stature, blood type, and most notably my personality. I could try to enumerate, then, every facet, but it would be difficult at best. I'm considering writing an OC-centered fanfic and risking the walk through hell that including OCs equates to. I came up with another girl, and then her sister, so maybe if I figure out some of the finer details i'll consider writing up bios for them.
If you plan to do a OC Fanfic, I would suggest keeping the new bios to yourself(until your finish the story)so it won't ruin parts of your story.
Not sure i'll ever actually use mine in a fic. She's more like a bit of practice in writing and character building. Plus I figure someones going to ask about my profile pic at some point.
Last edited by pandaphil on Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~ The Doctor.

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Re: Design your character!

Post by FoxtrotZero » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:03 pm

Zykes wrote:
FoxtrotZero wrote:
pandaphil wrote:Okay, I've redone her profile. Even changed her name. :)

. I kept the calcium deficiency problem since that seemed like such a bizarre aliment. So poor Tet has had quite the string of bad luck in her life. I figured that was bound to have an effect on a person, so I've made her into something of a withdrawn, serious character since I'm a bit like that myself (they do say you should write about what you know).
Indeed. I think it's well done. And I also agree strongly. My character shares a lot of my traits - given name, stature, blood type, and most notably my personality. I could try to enumerate, then, every facet, but it would be difficult at best. I'm considering writing an OC-centered fanfic and risking the walk through hell that including OCs equates to. I came up with another girl, and then her sister, so maybe if I figure out some of the finer details i'll consider writing up bios for them.
If you plan to do a OC Fanfic, I would suggest keeping the new bios to yourself(until your finish the story)so it won't ruin parts of your story.
Yeah, that's a good point, considering their background. I'd probably do more of an introductory one, without a lot of backstory or conflict-reveal.
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Re: The Gallery of Original Characters

Post by Helbereth » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:17 pm

Generally speaking, though, I figure OCs are (or at least should?) represent the person making them.
For fuck sake, no!

That's a mistake, plain and simple. It's a very common thought among fan-fiction writers, but it never works out in an actual story. No matter how much you might try, the projection on the page, if a reflection of yourself, will inevitably become a Gary-Stu or Mary-Sue. At the very least, the temptation to try and perfect your own inequities will be nearly irresistible, and that leads you down a path of boring pseudo-conflict and unrealistic outcomes.

That doesn't mean you can't take aspects of yourself and instill them into the characters you create. For instance: my main character, Aiko, is a gaming nerd because I am, and abhors prescription/OTC drugs because I do, but that's where most of the similarities end.

The most important thing about writing a character is that they have flaws, and I like to think Aiko is riddled with them. I'm a perpetual blabber-mouth, who almost never keeps his own secrets, where Aiko bottles things up, and doesn't even tell her best friends everything--both of those are probably flaws, really.

I'm not personable, and I rarely seek out contact, while Aiko seems to collect friends, even if she does keep them at a safe distance. I'd just assume let society crumble than try to step in and try to run the government, but Aiko dove into student government intentionally. I've never really had any solid plans for my life, but she figured out her future profession before finishing high school.

Aiko's physical description is derived from friends, co-workers, ex-girlfriends, and a series of seemingly unrelated variables I pulled out of thin air. Her past is a combination of imaginary circumstances, a few things I experienced in my own childhood, some stories I've been told by friends in confidence, and a lot of assumptions about life growing up in Japanese society. Writing her thoughts is still sometimes difficult, even after 200,000 words.

Writing your character should challenge you.

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Re: The Gallery of Original Characters

Post by FoxtrotZero » Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:00 am

Okay, so, it's late and I'm tired and after I post this I'm dragging my ass off to bed, but I stayed up because I started thinking and decided not to stop. I fleshed out some information for the aformentioned characters. It's mostly statistics and the sort of information you could get from observation and casual conversation. There's some more personal or even narrative bits involved, but nothing terribly important (that is, important to the story I'd like to put them in and their major conflict as characters).
Name: Karolin Dietrich
Hometown: Essen, Germany
Birthday: September 6th
Zodiac: Virgo
Blood Type: AB-
Height: 168cm (5'6")
Weight: 64kg (141lbs)
Bust/Waist/Hips: 87/63/91cm (34/25/36in)
Hair: Brunette
Eyes: Grey

Karolin Dietrich is a student of Yamaku (as well as her sister, Emma), originally from Essen, Germany. She lost her left eye to shrapnel from an explosion, and wears an eyepatch; the same incident left a faint scar on her left forearm, and presumably other places. She is fairly tall with a slightly slender build, deep brown hair, and grey eyes (well, eye). While not exactly introverted, Karolin tends to keep to herself, her sister, and her few friends. She is generally quiet around others, and even around those to whom she'll open up, she doesn't have it in her to be overly-talkative. When she does speak, her voice is soft (not to be confused with quiet; she is readily audible). Karolin is obviously fluent in German, and was always passable in her English classes, but her Japanese is learned from necessity, and lacks the same experience; her accent shows readily, and on anything other than mundane topics it's common for her to have to stop to recall a word, and occasionally be unable. She has a strong relationship with her sister who, despite being the younger one, insists on looking after Karolin (though Karolin insists she could prepare her own meals and laundry if she had to). Karolin harbors a strong affinity for music, having been a guitarist and amateur songwriter for the greater part of her life.
Name: Emma Dietrich
Hometown: Essen, Germany
Birthday: May 24th
Zodiac: Gemini
Blood Type: B-
Height: 162cm (5'4")
Weight: 59kg (130lbs)
Bust/Waist/Hips: 84/54/88cm (33/21/35in)
Hair: Dark blonde
Eyes: Honey

Emma Dietrich is a student of Yamaku (with her sister, Karolin), originally from Essen, Germany. She is one of the school's few students not to have a disability, instead attending to stay with her sister - not only for ease, but because her sister "probably couldn't cook for herself" if she wasn't around. Despite her attitude, Emma is a year younger (the two are in the same year; Karolin was required to repeat a year for work missed following her accident). Emma's personality is outgoing and cheerful, and yet people become perplexed as to why she doesn't get along with "that loud girl with the pink hair." That said, Emma isn't inherently loud or generally obnoxious, merely energetic and optimistic. Emma's hair is a bit too dark to be blonde, but eludes most definitions of brown, and her eyes are a honey-golden shade of amber. Compared to her sister, Emma is shorter and lighter, but is still a bit bigger than most of her classmates. Emma is fluent in German and took to her English classes second-nature; her Japanese follows her affinity for language, and while not perfect and notably accented, she generally communicates without trouble. Emma enjoys music as much as the next girl, and learned the cello in school. She views it as a fairly uselss skill, given her lack of interest in actually playing, and does so infrequently and almost exclusively at her sister's request.
As a point of reference; Emma looks a lot like Saki, but with a figure more approximating Emi or Rin. A good base for Karolin's figure would be somewhere between Hanako and Lilly. They're not of Japanese ancestry, so they tend to be a bit larger - in general scale - than their classmates. I tried to keep this in mind, but don't pay too much attention to the B/W/H measurements, because those are mostly made up with a very poor understanding of how they should work.
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Re: Design your character!

Post by Sgt_Frog » Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:49 pm

I have a great idea for a character, it's just...I have a HUGE problem with coming up with a suitable name. And conflict. I'm crap at writing romance, and I don't want to write angsty drama. So what is there left to do?

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Re: Design your character!

Post by FoxtrotZero » Thu Apr 04, 2013 1:30 pm

Sgt_Frog wrote:I have a great idea for a character, it's just...I have a HUGE problem with coming up with a suitable name. And conflict. I'm crap at writing romance, and I don't want to write angsty drama. So what is there left to do?
Well, for the name, you should start with the nationality/heritage (which is most like Japanese, evidently I'm three-for-three on making my characters foreign) and look through both given and family names for ones you like. Hidden meaning is all well and good, but not the most important thing. As an example, I picked Emma and Karolin not because the meanings have any particular relation to the character, but it's almost as if the sounds of the words themselves reflect their personalities.

As for story, well, I can't help you, I guess. I haven't found much of a conflict for my own character yet, and come to think of it, I'm going to need one before I put him in any stories. Emma and Karolin have one hell of a conflict (that will hopefully manifest itself in the fic I want to write), but it's important to mention that it was one of the first things I had figured out about Karolin (before Emma even existed), which isn't the train of thought you can really take when you're making a character that you're pouring yourself into. If the character isn't really a KS-version of you (like Fox is for me), well, maybe that's not applicable, and I still can't quite give you lessons on the creative process.

Damn, now I feel like I've been less helpful than I thought I could be when I hit 'quote'.
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Re: Design your character!

Post by imperial.standard » Fri Apr 05, 2013 3:28 pm

I've been dying to throw some OC back before I went on with my own project. But I figured that today I got sometime to waste, so why not? Here goes nothing;

Character Illustration:
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from left to right: Giant, Ojo-sama, Lackey, KD

Gang Armband:
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Death Heads

A bullying gang in Yamaku – they are a group of spiteful and arrogant people, who goes on their way to incite fear and terror among their peers for no other reason than to appease their collective inferior complex. Outwardly they seem like a group of performing students, but in reality they are effective intimidators. Their modus operandi had been ranging from subtle to brutal but has always been cleverly executed. So far none of their bullying victims have dared to inform on them and none of the staff have noticed their repulsive behavior.

“Ojou-sama” – Mitsubo Yuna

Standing about 6 feet tall, she is both refined and graceful in her movements. She sports a long wavy black hair adorned with a golden band. Her eyes are of deep azure reminiscent of the tropical seas – and she always dresses in immaculate uniforms to compliment her svelte and rather busty figure.

The leader of the gang. Outwardly she is known as a studious, caring and gentle woman but nothing could be farther from the truth. Beneath the façade of refinement lies a core of anger and spite. No one knows why she is in Yamaku and the staff has been silent on the matter – other than the occasional absence to the nurse ward, she looks perfectly fine and without visible disabilities. She came from a very privileged and wealthy family and is proud of it - However one well-known fact is that she is not entirely Japanese (her mother came from naturalized Korean immigrant family background). The mention of this and casual inquiries about her disability are one of the few things that can provoke her ire and earn her everlasting hate – while ensuring the poor soul will become the targets of their bullying as well. There is nothing that she enjoys more than the sense of gratification she gets from bullying.

“Giant” – Tadamichi Kai

Tall (nearly 7 feet), muscular, and tanned. His large frame and rather unkempt hair are definitely some of his physical hallmarks.

Large, not too bright, and obviously the muscle of the group. He knows how to inflict blows where it hurts the most, and knows where to hit it so it cannot be seen outwardly unless a full-body inspection is warranted. No one dared to ask what his disability is, but he seemed react very slowly (if at all) to touching sensations – he also seem to be impervious to pain.

“KD” / “Keikaku Dori” – Hirosaki Satou

Slicked back and short brown hair with large thick glasses and pale unhealthy complexion - His limping gait is one of his prominent physical traits, yet he always dresses immaculately according to school regulations.

Probably the brightest of the group – if Ojou-sama had decided on a target, then he would be the one working on a plan how to do it. As befits his main task he is an extremely cold and calculating individual. He does not derive pleasure from the bullying act itself and probably remained within the group to avert being bullied himself – but he seems to crave a sense of satisfaction from perfectly executed schemes. He walks with a limp – occasionally assisted with crutches. He is in Yamaku enrolled with one of their physiotherapy programs.

“Lackey” – Yanagi Momo

She wears her golden brown/hazel-dyed hair in long side tails with a red ribbon accessory. She likes to make cute gestures when she talks. Very self conscious on the size of her hips (large) and boobs (small) when compared to Yuna.

This cute girl is nearly always seen with a sunny smile in her face. Make no mistake however – as she is one of the unrepentant bullies. Remorseless and completely oblivious to the psychological pain she inflicted on other people, she would do anything to earn the favor and be in the company of Ojou-sama. No one knows of her disabilities as well but she seemed to sport surgery scars on her head (cannot be seen due to her hair and rather prominent side tails covering them) and at the back of the neck. She also seemed to consume prescribed cortisteroids.
Feedbacks are appreciated ~ thanks for reading btw
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Re: Design your character!

Post by pandaphil » Fri Apr 05, 2013 3:54 pm

Oh lord, lets hope Tetrae never runs into this bunch. Bullies make her catfightey.
Last edited by pandaphil on Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Design your character!

Post by FoxtrotZero » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:29 pm

imperial.standard wrote:*Death-Heads Bio*
Collapsable batons. I've always wanted one. Preferably one with a weighted tip. I've seen a simple swing of an arm crack watermelons open with those.
I couldn't possibly own one. Things like that are illegal as all hell in the State of California. I wonder if the Japanese government would be more forgiving...

But as much as I really, really, really can't stand these character's personalities (and that's a compliment, because you've managed to withdraw strong emotion and I'm still wondering just how my character would react), one thing stands out to me.

These people are huge. I mean, abso-fucking-loutely massive. Average height isn't as much in Japan, and if they're of entirely (or primarily, in Yuno's case) Japanese blood, these heights are almost freakish. As a point of comparison, my character, at 5'10", would be taller than basically everyone at the school (that said, 5'10" is my actual height and I attend a school with a predominant asian population, and I do stand significantly taller than just about everyone). Unless these people have foreign blood or you enjoy them being on the distant end of the bell curve, you might want to tone it down so that they're large by Japanese standards, not Western ones.
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Re: Design your character!

Post by imperial.standard » Fri Apr 05, 2013 9:58 pm

pandaphil wrote:Oh lord, lets hope Tetrae never runs into this bunch. Bullies make her catfightey.
Well that depends I suppose? Typical bullies would only bully when they can get gratification from the victim ie; scaredy ones. They are a calculating bunch and seems to steer clear from those who they know would make too much noise/fight back. Unless they find a way to gain their submission/silence - blackmail and such.
FoxtrotZero wrote: Collapsable batons. I've always wanted one. Preferably one with a weighted tip. I've seen a simple swing of an arm crack watermelons open with those.
I couldn't possibly own one. Things like that are illegal as all hell in the State of California. I wonder if the Japanese government would be more forgiving...
IRCC they aren't. But being illegal doesn't mean they can't own one. Oddly enough while I do not divulge all that I have assigned as their characteristics, collapsible baton had always Yuna's weapon - but she does not use it very often due to Giant doing a pretty much good job at it (punching where the marks don't stand out like on abdomens will serve them better rather than prominent bruises from baton hits)

And about height, yes this is true for giant and ojou-sama - which is one of their intimidating weapon. I did not mention the heights of lackey and KD but these two are normal average Japanese height; 5'6 and 5'7 respectively.

Thanks for the input and feedback!
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