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Real life Hanako? *now with Hanako cosplay pics*

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 7:29 am
by ai-honey
I guess this might sound odd but.. here goes. :<

When I was at primary school shortly before going to secondary school I got a chemical burn on my cheek. It wasn't to the same extent as Hanako's but it was very red and noticeable and a few people pointed out at school so I hid away from them, it was horrible. Ever since then I tried to hide it with my hair. It stayed with me for the first year or so of Secondary school, till about the time I was thirteen it faded off. There's nothing there now; though a year or so after that, due to the trauma from picking myself apart so much I noticed a scar or my forehead which kind of stuck out a bit. I picked at it and it got infected. I dealt with that for a few years by hiding it with my fringe and ridiculous make up, sometimes it got really bad with the stuff I kept doing to it, I burnt off a layer of skin one time accidentally. I got made fun of for my make up a lot. :| A few years ago I had it removed by a private dermatologist, there's not really anything there now, just a tiny in dent dot near my eyebrow from a regular chicken pox scar.

Here's a picture of me. Excuse the derpy expression and kitty plush, I took it for a friend a few days ago (she made me the plush).

Image

Even after all these years after I still have Hanako hair, because it's like a mask and I feel so vulnerable without it. I sometimes get the nerve to wear my hair back (when I'm at home I'm okay and if there's no one I know). I cosplay and doing Belle (from Beauty and the Beast) was really awkward for me to do since there was no fringe, all my others have had more hair covering their faces.

It was funny though, playing through the game all I could think of to say to Hanako was 'don't hide your face' because her imperfections are what made her adorable. I think that's helped me understand that it really wasn't important. I've never discussed this with anyone, not friends or anything, because I didn't want to draw attention to it. I just hid everything and hoped no one would ask. So it's really.. weird for me to be talking about it now. It's something I kept hidden for a long time. At one point it was so bad I couldn't bare not wearing make up even at home, even though if anything it probably made it stick out more.

So real life Hanako? Not really, but I can understand just how she feels. :<

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 7:48 am
by Climatic
needs more burns

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 7:54 am
by ai-honey
Climatic wrote:needs more burns
Excuse me if I pass on burning my face.. :P

I do want to cosplay her some time though, but I'll be using liquid latex or something for the scars, not a bunsen burner. :<

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 7:56 am
by Benjamin
All you need is someone to bring light to your heart, to chase away your fears. I could be that man.

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 8:19 am
by Cazzah
You look perfectly fine and shouldn't be too worried (says the random guy on the internet who knows nothing about your life.) I think what you should take from this game is that it doesn't matter whether you are deaf, blind, disfigured, whatever, your inner personality will come through and the people who matter will judge you from that. If you make it an issue, it will be an issue.

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 8:20 am
by ai-honey
Cazzah wrote:You look perfectly fine and shouldn't be too worried (says the random guy on the internet who knows nothing about your life.) I think what you should take from this game is that it doesn't matter whether you are deaf, blind, disfigured, whatever, your inner personality will come through and the people who matter will judge you from that. If you make it an issue, it will be an issue.
No I am, just for a very long time I didn't feel I was and I still carry those insecurities. It's not an outside thing anymore, and as I said it has helped me, I think. :) I just hadn't thought about it from someone elses perspective before, like how I looked at Hanako from mine.

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 9:17 am
by Guest
reminds me of this... maybe:

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1151

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 9:39 am
by pibby
ai-honey wrote:
Cazzah wrote:You look perfectly fine and shouldn't be too worried (says the random guy on the internet who knows nothing about your life.) I think what you should take from this game is that it doesn't matter whether you are deaf, blind, disfigured, whatever, your inner personality will come through and the people who matter will judge you from that. If you make it an issue, it will be an issue.
No I am, just for a very long time I didn't feel I was and I still carry those insecurities. It's not an outside thing anymore, and as I said it has helped me, I think. :) I just hadn't thought about it from someone elses perspective before, like how I looked at Hanako from mine.
I'm sorry but you're not japanese :D but you can still get the burn looks without actually burning yourself. Use make-up and look at burn victums on the internet to get an idea of what you should look like with Hanako's burns.

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 9:58 am
by Vertical
If I didn't have to go to work right now, I would have cropped that KS 4-koma just so I could be the first to put the Hisao "HHHHHHHHHNNNNNNGGGGGGG" panel up for my reaction.

This is just adorable.

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 11:09 am
by ai-honey
pibby wrote: I'm sorry but you're not japanese :D but you can still get the burn looks without actually burning yourself. Use make-up and look at burn victums on the internet to get an idea of what you should look like with Hanako's burns.
Haha, because anime characters really look Japanese. :P Actually my Nan has a ton of theatre facepaints so I was going to have a play around later today, when I finish doing my homework. :<
Vertical wrote:If I didn't have to go to work right now, I would have cropped that KS 4-koma just so I could be the first to put the Hisao "HHHHHHHHHNNNNNNGGGGGGG" panel up for my reaction.

This is just adorable.
Buuh? ;o;

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 11:20 am
by Lattyware
ai-honey wrote:tl;dq.
At the risk of sounding horribly out of place on the internet, It's great you got over most of your insecurities. Obviously I don't have to point out they are baseless fears.

Maybe we'll see something similar in the plotline of KS (albeit, with more help from our main chrachter, naturally).

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 11:30 am
by ai-honey
Lattyware wrote:
ai-honey wrote:tl;dq.
At the risk of sounding horribly out of place on the internet, It's great you got over most of your insecurities. Obviously I don't have to point out they are baseless fears.

Maybe we'll see something similar in the plotline of KS (albeit, with more help from our main chrachter, naturally).
It's odd to say, I guess although I was over it, it was still a little something at the back of my mind I was happy to get rid of? Now I can think of this if it ever bothers me again.

The only comparison I have is that I was bullied quite badly at school and one girl in particular was foul to me. Last year she added me to facebook! She either had no idea how atrocious she was to me, or simply didn't realise how much it affected me. I never added her back but I kept her in my friends request list to remind me. I guess despite the fact I was over the bullying it was still awful to look back on, but now whenever I think about it I think about that and it goes away! Also she is really.. quite unattractive. I guess I never noticed at school, I was too bothered with everyone else thinking I was an ugly weirdo. :<

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 11:55 am
by ChaosEngine
I ended up being fairly maltreated in my Middle and early High School years, so I can understand where you're coming from on the bullying aspect.

Now, though, I don't think you have that much to worry about. Trying real hard not to sound like a creep, you're actually quite cute. :oops:

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 1:47 pm
by Lattyware
ai-honey wrote:
Lattyware wrote:
ai-honey wrote:tl;dq.
At the risk of sounding horribly out of place on the internet, It's great you got over most of your insecurities. Obviously I don't have to point out they are baseless fears.

Maybe we'll see something similar in the plotline of KS (albeit, with more help from our main chrachter, naturally).
It's odd to say, I guess although I was over it, it was still a little something at the back of my mind I was happy to get rid of? Now I can think of this if it ever bothers me again.

The only comparison I have is that I was bullied quite badly at school and one girl in particular was foul to me. Last year she added me to facebook! She either had no idea how atrocious she was to me, or simply didn't realise how much it affected me. I never added her back but I kept her in my friends request list to remind me. I guess despite the fact I was over the bullying it was still awful to look back on, but now whenever I think about it I think about that and it goes away! Also she is really.. quite unattractive. I guess I never noticed at school, I was too bothered with everyone else thinking I was an ugly weirdo. :<
Yeah, it's funny how people don't realise how hurtful they can be, or that people will be unfriendly towards them in reutrn.
ChaosEngine wrote:I ended up being fairly maltreated in my Middle and early High School years, so I can understand where you're coming from on the bullying aspect.

Now, though, I don't think you have that much to worry about. Trying real hard not to sound like a creep, you're actually quite cute. :oops:
(emphasis added)
QFT.

Re: Real life Hanako?

Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 2:56 pm
by Envy
Climatic wrote:needs more burns
I agree.

As lovely as it is that you're able to relate to a character and come to terms with your own experiences, I don't exactly think you're on the same level of insecurity as Hanako. When a significant portion of your body is disfigured to the point where it is repulsive and alien in a way that leaves you socially crippled then you claim the title of IRL Hanako.