Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal with

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DaBa
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by DaBa » Fri Aug 16, 2013 3:09 pm

Weird Heather wrote:
DaBa wrote:In my environement it is considered almost taboo to watch anime or play games like that. You are ofted laughted of and accused of being childlish. I haven't really got a friend that would hear me out and share my concerns. I feel alenated from everyone, because everybody seems so... plain. They are generic: playing football, eating pizza, drinking beer and playing CoD and moba games. Without any perspectives, I am stuck in here with no ability to share my "weird" hobbies. I learnt english just so I can go on the internet and talk with people that (maybe) understand me.
A lot of people have "weird" hobbies. I certainly do, and I embrace them without worrying about what other people think. The anime taboo that you mention is a curious phenomenon. I have never quite been able to figure out why so many people have such a strong aversion to anime and manga, which mostly seem to be little more than harmless entertainment, and at their best can be excellent works of art. (Maybe some people mistakenly think that all anime consists of tentacle porn involving underage girls.) I'm not obsessed with anime, but I have encountered it off and on since the late 1970s, and I have never seen anything wrong with it. In fact, "Katawa Shoujo" reminded me of it, and I've been watching a few anime series lately. Perhaps since visual novels share many characteristics with manga and anime, they are subject to the same taboo.

It is possible to become obsessed with any hobby to the point of becoming detached from real life, and we must all guard against that, but there is nothing wrong with unusual hobbies. They add diversity to the world. If the people around you don't share your interests, the internet is a good place to look. Also, college is a very different environment from high school (or whatever the equivalent is in your country). At the university I attended, I found plenty of intellectually inclined people, many of whom had weird hobbies. Any decent-sized college or university is likely to have a number of people who are interested in anime and computer games; you only need to find them.
Yes, I am hoping to make some new friends in the collage in the future. Also, I don't feel bad about my hobbies and people not accepting them, It's just that I can't find anybody to talk about it besides people on the internet. It's a lot more fun to share your experiences with people that share your points of view. I have literally 2 friends that I talk with about different things on a regular basis. That's not a lot considering we all have or own lives and we can't always be there and have a talk. We also don't really talk about such emotional things.

I appreciate honest advices though :) Thank you.
ewx wrote:Don't go looking for love.

You'll be so busy looking for Mrs. Perfect (change name prefixes according to sexuality and gender) that when you meet her, you might not be her Mr. Perfect.
You could spend a whole lifetime looking for her but then how do you tell her when you meet her that you've just been looking for her for the past few years instead of living your life as you want to do.

Don't go looking for love because it'll find you when you least expect it.
Yes, I know that I can't rush things, I never did. I am very shy about those things. But, inside I just WANT, really WANT to find this someone. It's like like my inner me wants a confirmation this is going to happen eventually. I tried to reject this and was telling myself, that living alone is the best way (no regrets, no responsibilities) but a week ago that lie was broken apart by little Emi. Thank you for your concern though!

ewx
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by ewx » Fri Aug 16, 2013 3:36 pm

DaBa wrote:But, inside I just WANT, really WANT to find this someone. It's like like my inner me wants a confirmation this is going to happen eventually.
Who do you want to give you this confirmation? Some strangers over the internet?

If it means anything to you, I'll vouch that you'll find love. It means nothing and if you prove me wrong, well by the time you prove me wrong I'll probably be dead.


I can't give you any meaningful advice and I doubt much of the other advice you'd be likely to get from the internet would help. The only person that can change things in your life for the better is you.


If you can change your fate, why worry about it?
If you can't change your fate, why worry about it?
:wink:

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DaBa
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by DaBa » Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:03 pm

ewx wrote: If you can change your fate, why worry about it?
If you can't change your fate, why worry about it?
:wink:
It's funny how I tell myself this everytime I feel bad about anything comming up in the future. It really helps to clear my mind and get rid of the worries. I never really thought where did I pick this phrase from. Or maybe this is just something that you realize as time goes by, I don't know.

About the outbursts about me and love: sometimes you just want to go on the top of the hill and shout as loud as you can to let those feeling out. Since I have no hills around, This is my way of doing that... :) I wrote this topic and found you guys only because I felt like crying into someone's shoulder, and you all helped me out greatly.
Last edited by DaBa on Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Firewind
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by Firewind » Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:05 pm

ewx wrote: If you can change your fate, why worry about it?
If you can't change your fate, why worry about it?
:wink:
In my case the problem would be that...I don't know if I can. :?
Everyone hides who they are at least some of their time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply that you have to be reminded it's there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are all together.

ewx
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by ewx » Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:13 pm

Firewind wrote:In my case the problem would be that...I don't know if I can. :?
You do not know if you can change your fate?

Have you tried changing it? It should be within human curiosity to want to try new things.

If you spend your whole life worrying about ifs and maybes then you'll miss out on a whole life of living some of them.



Sorry for the spoilers but we all die at the end. If you want to look back at the end of your life and consider your life, you should have no regrets. If you want to do something then do it.

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Firewind
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by Firewind » Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:31 pm

ewx wrote:
Firewind wrote:In my case the problem would be that...I don't know if I can. :?
You do not know if you can change your fate?

Have you tried changing it? It should be within human curiosity to want to try new things.

If you spend your whole life worrying about ifs and maybes then you'll miss out on a whole life of living some of them.



Sorry for the spoilers but we all die at the end. If you want to look back at the end of your life and consider your life, you should have no regrets. If you want to do something then do it.
I like trying new things, but sometimes I'm the kind of person that has difficulties accommodating to/with new situations, things, etc.

Your last paragraph really says something for me, and it might help me settle with things a bit more, so I must thank you for your words.
Everyone hides who they are at least some of their time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply that you have to be reminded it's there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are all together.

ewx
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by ewx » Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:38 pm

Firewind wrote:I like trying new things, but sometimes I'm the kind of person that has difficulties accommodating to/with new situations, things, etc.

Your last paragraph really says something for me, and it might help me settle with things a bit more, so I must thank you for your words.
If I am to be honest, I'm not too fond of change either. Sometimes I think that I might hate it.
Then I think how much worse life would be if there was no change. If things never got better or worse. It would be some kind of horrible purgatory.
Change can cause things to become worse or better, but without the bad, we'd never have the good.


I'm glad if my words help you in any way at all.

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Firewind
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by Firewind » Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:46 pm

ewx wrote: If I am to be honest, I'm not too fond of change either. Sometimes I think that I might hate it.
Then I think how much worse life would be if there was no change. If things never got better or worse. It would be some kind of horrible purgatory.
Change can cause things to become worse or better, but without the bad, we'd never have the good.


I'm glad if my words help you in any way at all.
I know life without changes would be awful, and changes can be good or bad, but I kinda detest drastic or frequent changes. Even if they're not necessarily that bad.

But we're pretty much offtopic, we must talk something related to KS here, I guess.
Everyone hides who they are at least some of their time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply that you have to be reminded it's there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are all together.

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DaBa
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by DaBa » Fri Aug 16, 2013 5:00 pm

Firewind wrote:
ewx wrote: If I am to be honest, I'm not too fond of change either. Sometimes I think that I might hate it.
Then I think how much worse life would be if there was no change. If things never got better or worse. It would be some kind of horrible purgatory.
Change can cause things to become worse or better, but without the bad, we'd never have the good.


I'm glad if my words help you in any way at all.
I know life without changes would be awful, and changes can be good or bad, but I kinda detest drastic or frequent changes. Even if they're not necessarily that bad.

But we're pretty much offtopic, we must talk something related to KS here, I guess.
No, I don't really mind, I didn't want to interrupt :) If that's against the regulations or something, then by all means halt all the suspicious activities!

Anyways, I think that some changes feels like a fresh start and they keep you going for longer, before you sink into your routines again.

ewx
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by ewx » Fri Aug 16, 2013 5:06 pm

DaBa wrote:Anyways, I think that some changes feels like a fresh start and they keep you going for longer, before you sink into your routines again.
A routine is just something you do. If you try something new but don't stick to it, it isn't really a routine.

The hardest part about a routine is changing it. The first day is the worst then it gets gradually less worse the more you do it.
Like Hisao going for his morning runs. He didn't like it at first but after a while you get used to it.

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Brisingr
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by Brisingr » Sat Aug 17, 2013 12:41 am

DaBa wrote:
Weird Heather wrote:
DaBa wrote:In my environement it is considered almost taboo to watch anime or play games like that. You are ofted laughted of and accused of being childlish. I haven't really got a friend that would hear me out and share my concerns. I feel alenated from everyone, because everybody seems so... plain. They are generic: playing football, eating pizza, drinking beer and playing CoD and moba games. Without any perspectives, I am stuck in here with no ability to share my "weird" hobbies. I learnt english just so I can go on the internet and talk with people that (maybe) understand me.
A lot of people have "weird" hobbies. I certainly do, and I embrace them without worrying about what other people think. The anime taboo that you mention is a curious phenomenon. I have never quite been able to figure out why so many people have such a strong aversion to anime and manga, which mostly seem to be little more than harmless entertainment, and at their best can be excellent works of art. (Maybe some people mistakenly think that all anime consists of tentacle porn involving underage girls.) I'm not obsessed with anime, but I have encountered it off and on since the late 1970s, and I have never seen anything wrong with it. In fact, "Katawa Shoujo" reminded me of it, and I've been watching a few anime series lately. Perhaps since visual novels share many characteristics with manga and anime, they are subject to the same taboo.

It is possible to become obsessed with any hobby to the point of becoming detached from real life, and we must all guard against that, but there is nothing wrong with unusual hobbies. They add diversity to the world. If the people around you don't share your interests, the internet is a good place to look. Also, college is a very different environment from high school (or whatever the equivalent is in your country). At the university I attended, I found plenty of intellectually inclined people, many of whom had weird hobbies. Any decent-sized college or university is likely to have a number of people who are interested in anime and computer games; you only need to find them.
Yes, I am hoping to make some new friends in the collage in the future. Also, I don't feel bad about my hobbies and people not accepting them, It's just that I can't find anybody to talk about it besides people on the internet. It's a lot more fun to share your experiences with people that share your points of view. I have literally 2 friends that I talk with about different things on a regular basis. That's not a lot considering we all have or own lives and we can't always be there and have a talk. We also don't really talk about such emotional things.

I appreciate honest advices though :) Thank you.
ewx wrote:Don't go looking for love.

You'll be so busy looking for Mrs. Perfect (change name prefixes according to sexuality and gender) that when you meet her, you might not be her Mr. Perfect.
You could spend a whole lifetime looking for her but then how do you tell her when you meet her that you've just been looking for her for the past few years instead of living your life as you want to do.

Don't go looking for love because it'll find you when you least expect it.
Yes, I know that I can't rush things, I never did. I am very shy about those things. But, inside I just WANT, really WANT to find this someone. It's like like my inner me wants a confirmation this is going to happen eventually. I tried to reject this and was telling myself, that living alone is the best way (no regrets, no responsibilities) but a week ago that lie was broken apart by little Emi. Thank you for your concern though!
I can partially relate with the anime/games taboo in the fact that I had at best 1 friend during middle school/high school who I could see only a couple times a month since he lived so far away. Everybody else I knew either mocked me for my interests or ignored me. My parents who were my ultimate source for my own interest in gaming (bought a Nintendo 64 for me and my brother) which eventually extended to anime, have never actually cared about these themselves. They know I like it and tend not to get in the way of my interests, they just don't care so I never even bother to tell them about what I do. It really feels isolating when you can't share the things you love with someone. Fast forward to my college days just a couple years ago, I felt great when I learned that the college I was attending had both an anime club and a gaming club. You can imagine how crushed I felt when I learned that I never had the time to attend them because they were always during a particularly boring class or after I already left for the day. It just hurts knowing about this wonderful world and virtually nobody to share it with. Even now, I have friends I regularly hang out with and it feels like I'm the only one who actually has the money to enjoy these things since I'm the only one who actually has a job. I have to say though, through all of it, I refuse to give up this part of my life.

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Drummodino
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by Drummodino » Sat Aug 17, 2013 12:53 am

Brisingr wrote:I can partially relate with the anime/games taboo in the fact that I had at best 1 friend during middle school/high school who I could see only a couple times a month since he lived so far away. Everybody else I knew either mocked me for my interests or ignored me. My parents who were my ultimate source for my own interest in gaming (bought a Nintendo 64 for me and my brother) which eventually extended to anime, have never actually cared about these themselves. They know I like it and tend not to get in the way of my interests, it really feels isolating when you can't share the things you love with someone. Fast forward to my college days just a couple years ago, I felt great when I learned that the college I was attending had both an anime club and a gaming club. You can imagine how crushed I felt when I learned that I never had the time to attend them because they were always during a particularly boring class or after I already left for the day. It just hurts knowing about this wonderful world and virtually nobody to share it with. Even now, I have friends I regularly hang out with and it feels like I'm the only one who actually has the money to enjoy these things since I'm the only one who actually has a job.
I know how you feel. I'm going to guess you live in a Western society? Anime and gaming do have a somewhat negative stigma. The good thing about forums like these is there are people who you can discuss these things with. Its not the same as IRL friends, but it's far far better than having no one.
"But most of all, I'll still be here because I want to see your smile. Your true smile."

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Brisingr
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by Brisingr » Sat Aug 17, 2013 1:01 am

I live in the US, Michigan. Around here, it isn't so much as negative "you are such a nerd!" toward anime/gaming as it is "why should I care what you do?" kind of attitude. There are people who like anime and the like because there are several anime conventions held in the state at various points throughout the year and I like to attend them but so far, nobody I meet at them become friends.

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Drummodino
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by Drummodino » Sat Aug 17, 2013 1:15 am

Brisingr wrote:I live in the US, Michigan. Around here, it isn't so much as negative "you are such a nerd!" toward anime/gaming as it is "why should I care what you do?" kind of attitude. There are people who like anime and the like because there are several anime conventions held in the state at various points throughout the year and I like to attend them but so far, nobody I meet at them become friends.
Hmm well I don't know what to say. Maybe try exchanging details at these conventions? Try and get involved a bit more. Can't really think of anything else.
"But most of all, I'll still be here because I want to see your smile. Your true smile."

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hitman555z
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Re: Feelings after the game that I find difficult to deal wi

Post by hitman555z » Sat Aug 17, 2013 1:28 am

Brisingr wrote:I live in the US, Michigan. Around here, it isn't so much as negative "you are such a nerd!" toward anime/gaming as it is "why should I care what you do?" kind of attitude. There are people who like anime and the like because there are several anime conventions held in the state at various points throughout the year and I like to attend them but so far, nobody I meet at them become friends.
i live in ny. i see pretty much no conventions, unless its because i dont bother looking too much into it. just like rin, i cant be bothered to think too much into it and end up just staying home and go on 4chan. atleast people there i can relate to, to some extent.

and if i do go to places with anime/video game people, they are a bit too fast paced or hyper. it feels like they are trying to be boxxy just a bit too much. and thats a bit creepy in my opinion. thats actually why i never attended anime club in high school much. the amount of times i went would be under 10 times for sure.
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