I think we need a little separation of terms and ideas here.
Re: the virginity fetish - Technically we mean sexual quirk, since a fetish is a clinical condition by which you are incapable of completing the sexual act without its presence (e.g., a man who simply cannot get an erection if the girl isn't wearing a maid outfit). In common discussion, however, people use the term "fetish," and everyone knows what they mean, except for pedants. The main ideas behind this quirk were broken down earlier as follows:
- The OP considers bleeding girls sexy.
- The OP likes the idea of a girl being in pain at first and getting turned on later.
- The OP likes girls who don't have experience or dislikes girls who do have experience.
The bleeding bit fits the standard concept of a sexual quirk - some people find it sexy, others are disgusted, and still others are "whatever, man."
The "in pain at first, then turned on later" is (potentially) a little problematic, but we'll be getting to that.
The "girls who don't have experience" has similar potential for being problematic, and, when not problematic, betrays the ideas of someone who hasn't had much practical experience of sex. Like any other physical activity, experience makes one perform better. There are a LOT of "rookie mistakes" that can be done during sex, and most of those pretty much instantly kill any further enjoyment.
Why are those latter two problematic? Because, while they may appear elsewhere, they are most prominently featured in stories that include rape. And while rape fantasies are vastly
preferable to actual rape, it's still not exactly kosher.
And, as I mentioned in my first post, those first two aspects are related to stereotypes of virginity. While those results often appear when the hymen is intact, they are not necessarily present. Similarly, a broken hymen doesn't necessarily mean a non-virgin.
For the latter? Porn and erotica often have one recurring theme in all flavors - experience doesn't matter. Every character is an instinctual sex god. Even in Hanako's H-scene, (almost) undisputed as the least pleasant of them, it's heavily implied that Hanako reached orgasm. As many people have been disappointed to learn in their early sexual experiences, it's not easy for both parties to reach orgasm, especially if one or both are inexperienced. Everywhere else, they may be virgins, but when it gets to the sexytimes, they're replaced by professional porn actors, who know what they're doing far better than you'd care to know.
Re: Categorically ignoring stories because of (unfounded) allegations that a girl might not be a virgin - This is a lot less defensible, and really what brought out my reaction. I mean, these were weak allegations - "Emi had a boyfriend before Hisao, so clearly she's a dirty filthy slutwhore." (I'd make a joke about how it's expected that a fan of Lilly and Hanako would be so shallow, but this is a serious discussion.) I understand that people have a limited amount of time each day and can only do so much, but that just brings in another aspect of this whole discussion - it's been pretty solidly established that playing KS for the H scenes is missing the point on several levels (and also a waste of your time in comparison to other games that give more (and more professional quality) H-scenes in less time).
And this also touches on the elephant in the room - the value of virginity. In many cultures, virginity is a very precious thing. There are places where a virgin cannot be executed (which sometimes leads to the unfortunate practice of one of the prison wardens "marrying" the virgins on death row). And it's true. In many ways, virginity is a very precious and beautiful thing. But that becomes a bad thing if it becomes the measure of a woman's worth. If a woman is "ruined for marriage" by losing her virginity, that's a problem.
The proper place of virginity is very much like a first kiss. There is definitely something meaningful behind it, and it makes a statement when someone saves it for the right person. But it's just a statement. Any right-thinking individual would be disgusted by a man who throws a woman away as a wanton trollop because she had kissed another man several years ago. It's remarkable when someone doesn't kiss anyone until they have the right person, but there's no shame for the woman who kissed someone she thought she loved, but now deeply regrets it. And, at the same time, there is still (generally) a distaste for the person who kisses (in a romantic sense) loosely and casually - because it cheapens the meaning and value of the action. But most people agree that there's an acceptable threshold somewhere between "never kissing ever" and "kissing (romantically) with no greater meaning than a handshake."
And, as a side note, sarcasm and tone doesn't carry well on the internet. Unless you have an established relationship with someone, steer clear of phrases that can make you sound like an asshole. Or buffer them heavily with obvious smileys and/or reaction images.