Post
by azumeow » Fri Jul 25, 2014 11:22 pm
Emi. Fucking Emi. "Dead" father and all. (He was dead to her until about a month or two before he actually died.)
She made me miserable. Oh god, it was great at first, it really was. We hit it off marvelously, but...well, much like Emi, it escalated quickly. I wasn't always ready for that. For her, sex=love. It did, at least. So when I wasn't in the mood....she decided that didn't matter.
Much like Emi, her reaction to lemon time wasn't pleasant. Unlike Emi, she cried. I hold that memory dear to my heart, because we went straight-up bad end and I despise this chick now. Call me horrible, bitter, whatever: you're right, I am.
There were threats of suicide lobbed (mostly in my direction). She didn't keep people at a distance so much as Emi did, but she definitely put up a false front for the people around her. And she had her own "anniversary" too. Warning: this shit is fucked up. Around February-Marchish, when she miscarried her ex's child. She told me (and I believe her, the guy's fucking scum) that her ex raped her a lot, and she drowned herself in booze and some prescription drugs. Being a seventeen year old guy with my own array of psychological issues....I didn't handle it well.
We both made our mistakes, don't get me wrong. We tried to get it back, but what we had was gone. I was too angry, and she wasn't willing to commit, which is hilarious because I had that problem until I went through Lilly's path and realized what I had to lose.
Then we continued on and off for about a year, and about a week before my birthday (which is March 17th) this year she dropped the bomb that she'd started seeing her ex who she started dating right around the....second/fourth or fifth time we broke up, depending upon how you look at it.
Haven't spoken to her since, and I don't regret it. And it won't be a few more months before she has a chance to randomly text me wanting to talk (I don't memorize numbers well and have annihilated it from my phone) because she's in BT right now. Yay National Guard!
"I don’t want to be here anymore, I know there’s nothing left worth staying for.
Your paradise is something I’ve endured
See I don’t think I can fight this anymore, I’m listening with one foot out the door
And something has to die to be reborn-I don’t want to be here anymore"