What is happiness?

[Daitengu]

Happiness is an emotion we most likely evolved in order to survive as a species. Most people find happiness through social contact in one way or another, which lead us to become a social species, and therefore improved our chances of survival. We also enjoy being around happy people, which makes us more likely to work to please others, thus pleasing ourselves. All this leads to a society that, for the most part, seeks to help each other and work in harmony. With the end goal being one emotion: happiness. (The level of helpfulness and social harmony depends upon culture, with large contrasts seen between individualistic cultures like US and collectivistic cultures like Japan.)

This is a little oversimplified, but I really don't feel like writing too much on this. But this is mostly a result of my psychology degree. I recognize this is far from a proper definition, but no one has a proper definition. And this is the best I can do on two hours sleep in the time I have between eating breakfast and taking a shower. So that'll have to do. And so, off I go to take a shower.

I could academically talk all day about psychology, but short and sweet, my third post in this thread already shows how difficult is is for me to accept that train of thought. Seeing as how even among people I consider friends for years, I still feel segregated in my ability to indulge in the joy the people around me feel. I honestly don't 'get' other people for he most part. Considering they seem to get each other, I can only assume it's me.

I'm told I think too much. Can't really help it. If my thoughts were TV channels. I have a dozen TVs going on at the same time in my head. I have control of them and can changes channels individually any time I want, and even turn them all to the same channel, but I only have one power button for all of em. I'm literally monitoring my breathing, my heart, sense of touch, thought about what to type, typing, have music going on in my head, thinking about this topic, my dried out eyes hurting, ASL fingerspelling mentally, and some other things at the same time. Turn it off, or turn all the channels to one thought and I forget to breath o.O I wouldn't say it's ADD as they claim it's one TV and it flicks though channels by itself. It really messes with me being able to get in that 'flow' state. It's like being scatter brained but still able to respond to people. Damn I went off on an tangent again <.<

Long happiness hmm. the word 'long' really changes the concept. I'll ponder that too, thanks.

[guest2]

It's the word for when it feels inside your heart that everything in the world is all right.

Is it really that subtle? Sounds like peace. I was inclined to believe happiness was magnitudes stronger than peace. Akin to despair being profoundly stronger than sadness.

Though that reminds me of the feeling of comfort from being hugged by my mom when I was a toddler, too young to know the world.

hmm, I'll have to think about it. Thanks for the reminder. ^.^
I had forgotten the memory of that feeling. I really do miss that.

And to think, I was just quoting the game!

It is a little bit like that though. It's kind of like... Things are all right. They're not perfect--after all, where's the fun in that?--but you have a direction to go, and something to strive towards. It's not quite a process. You can't combine three or four different "elements of happiness", throw them together, and suddenly you're happy. It's just something that happens along the way.

Kinda just being okay with where you are in life and knowing you'll be somewhere else later. It's when your life goes on hold--perhaps like Hanako's in the orphanarium--when it's hard to stay happy. Nothing's happening, nothing changes, so it sucks.

That's how I feel anyway.

Also for me, part of happiness is other people. Part of that, though, is kind of already being happy, which is catch-22-ey and silly-sounding, but yea. Like I said, it's just something that happens along the way. If you think about it too much, everything kind of slows down and... things. Hard to describe. It's like someone said though, humans are a social species. Happiness sort of feeds back into itself, and people naturally gravitate towards happy, driven people.

I feel like I should elaborate more on what I'm saying, but I can't really come up with anything good, so hopefully this helps enough.

[Mirage_GSM]

It's the word for when it feels inside your heart that everything in the world is all right.

Is it really that subtle? Sounds like peace. I was inclined to believe happiness was magnitudes stronger than peace. Akin to despair being profoundly stronger than sadness.

I'd rather say happiness is the positive equivalent to sadness, and correspondingly the positive equivalent to despair would be ecstasy or something like that.

[Beoran]

Daitengu, In my life, I feel like I have been perfectly, completely happy already a few times. The feeling arose suddenly, sometimes even in banale situations, and only lasted for half a few hours or so at most. I also had lesser perfect, more prolonged periods of joyful days, and finally long periods of contentment. I think that what guest2 says is very close description of what I felt. I'd say it was "Happpy is when everything feels perfectly good."

In those moments there is no me and no world, just pure being full of joy, love, delight, compassion, humility, gratefulness, and even all sadness and pain are perfectly good too, as if I had awakened from a deep dream. So, it's not that suble. It strikes like thunderstrike, like I suddenly woke up. Then slowly it subsides, and I feel like my mind is going to sleep again, content, but with that perfect feeling only being a distant memory.

How to become happy then? I still don't know for sure, since these moments of perfect happiness seemed to have erratic causes, if any. I felt this after seeing light shining though a milk glass window, or the reflection of light from my window on the wall, or when my wife sang a most lovely love song to me I previously did not know. It seems that when my mind is "just so", "just ready" to receive, calm and focused, then sometimes, a sudden impulse sets it off.

I am reminded of the story of Mugai Nyodai or Chiyono During a moonlight she went to fetch water, and her filled bamboo bucket suddenly broke and emptied. And she was enlightened. I'm not religious at all and I think that most religions have a lot of crap, misunderstood myths and exaggerated legends around them for cultural, historical and political reasons. But this one experience, maybe an echo of what is called "enlightenment", that I can relate to.

That is how I felt perfect happiness. And funny thing is, I cannot do anything to reach it. I can simply strive to be more ready to welcome it next time.

[Thrasher Thetic]

Want a shortcut to depression?


Agonize over happiness.

[erisi236]

Just drink some Instant Smile, and there ya go.

[newnar]

I dunno but to me, there are two kinds of happiness. The kind where you put up a cheerful face for the sake of the situation-at-hand and the kind that characters in fiction experience from time to time.

[FrédéricKarateChopin]

Being needed or wanted, not out of necessity but because someone else genuinely wants to be with you
i've felt that one whole time in my life and it was the happiest moment of my life

[Shilver]

Want a shortcut to depression?


Agonize over happiness.

This man speaks the truth. Worrying too much about being happy makes life depressing. Just go with the flow.

PS: Frederic, love the avatar. I love Moss (I'm probably one of the biggest Vikings fans in Minnesota haha). Come to think of it...whenever the Vikings do good, I'm happy. When they do bad, I'm pissed^^

[Daitengu]

In those moments there is no me and no world, just pure being full of joy, love, delight, compassion, humility, gratefulness, and even all sadness and pain are perfectly good too, as if I had awakened from a deep dream. So, it's not that suble. It strikes like thunderstrike, like I suddenly woke up. Then slowly it subsides, and I feel like my mind is going to sleep again, content, but with that perfect feeling only being a distant memory.

That's quite a lovely post. Sounds similar to "Appreciate the little things", but in a way that sometimes the little things can cause moments of bliss. Definitely something to keep in mind. Hats off to you.

Want a shortcut to depression?


Agonize over happiness.

I was depressed for over a decade but was in self denial. But I got realization that I was actually depressed by playing KS. And I figured out some reasons for it. I really don't remember the feeling of happiness(as stated). I ended up coming up with a plan to get my life moving, and I was wondering what Happiness felt like so I can revel in it when it happens instead of not noticing it.

My shortcut to depression as I remember when it first started was giving up on everything. I don't want to do that anymore. I wouldn't say I'm agonizing over happiness, as much as wanting to understand/remember it. I wish to make a goal of maximizing it, and sharing it with others.

Even when I had a job and money I wasn't happy, so I'm more interested in happy than any materialistic ideals. Hell I think much of the problem in the US is that money comes before happiness, and some people believe money equals happiness. From what I've gathered, actions seems to bring it about more than anything. I'm guessing my course of action will be rather difficult, but it has the highest possibility that I'll experience it. As I said I'd like to revel in it when it happens and make mental notes so I don't forget again.

Moving on requires coming to terms with one's self after all. I worked past having no desire. One must desire something in order to live. I've worked on self understanding in context to everyone else. Rin's arc and Wikipedia helped. Now I'm working on motivation. What better motivation than happiness? To have a goal I personally require atleast some image of what the goal is. I don;t need cheering up, but thanks ^.^ I just need a bit of understanding the concept.

lol I accidentally wrote in essay format.

[metalangel]

My shortcut to depression as I remember when it first started was giving up on everything. I don't want to do that anymore. I wouldn't say I'm agonizing over happiness, as much as wanting to understand/remember it. I wish to make a goal of maximizing it, and sharing it with others.

Even when I had a job and money I wasn't happy, so I'm more interested in happy than any materialistic ideals. Hell I think much of the problem in the US is that money comes before happiness, and some people believe money equals happiness. From what I've gathered, actions seems to bring it about more than anything. I'm guessing my course of action will be rather difficult, but it has the highest possibility that I'll experience it. As I said I'd like to revel in it when it happens and make mental notes so I don't forget again.

I don't think money equals happiness, but you need some money to be comfortable and not worry about where your next meal/the rent is going to come from. That can be a burden which will make the goal you've set yourself seem (or indeed, be) all but unattainable as you can barely keep your head above the water long enough to work your way toward it.

[Daitengu]

I don't think money equals happiness, but you need some money to be comfortable and not worry about where your next meal/the rent is going to come from. That can be a burden which will make the goal you've set yourself seem (or indeed, be) all but unattainable as you can barely keep your head above the water long enough to work your way toward it.

Well, I plan to go into interpretation as part of my goal. It pays well, so I should be able to meet my three needs of food, shelter and security. I didn't use to be interested in other languages growing up, but it's become more of a desire as time goes on. I'm actually studying currently. I blame watching anime in subs, and picking it up as time went on lol. Though that's not the language I'm picking up lol.

[Yellow 13]

a warm gun

[Hitman3256]

a warm gun

You're not funny. Please leave -.-

To Daitengu:
I've shared my opinion once with you before and I'm going to do so again.

First off: I'm going to say I'm probably half the age of all you people from the way you're talking, I'm sure the experience is there. If you're my age then you're either pretty naive or find happiness more frequently than others, maybe both.

Anyways: for me, happiness is being content about my current state of living, a point when I can just sit back and relax, look forward to the next day for what it brings. Happiness also found me when I was with my girlfriend, having someone there who can understand you completely and that you can talk to was....very nice. But it's too late now.

I haven't been "happy" for any definition of the word ever since I got into high school, every day I'm nervous about the next big deadline, I'm currently in the rigorous IB programme (if anyone knows what that is), and I'm glad to be with people I know (even if it's a minuscule feeling) but I have second thoughts about doing this.

Right now I'm waiting for math class to start, 5 minutes til. My buddy just got here and the girl I like is sitting in front of me, a little ways off with her back to me. Looking around everyone is pretty happy.

[Tachikoma]

Daitengu, I'm sorry if this was discussed before on this forums, but did you seek professional help at some point? I don't live in the US, so I have no idea what the mental health care system is like (which is not overly positive from what I hear), but I think you should seriously give some sort of professional counselling a shot. It won't be a silver bullet by any means, but hopefully a suitable mental health program will give you a window of opportunity to get a foot in the door and improve your quality of life. It's going to be a long and hard journey, but there is a good chance for some degree if improvement. Anxiety can be "unlearned" to some extent, but it's difficult to recondition yourself if you always avoid situations that trigger them in the first place.