Hanako's Broken Heart Club

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Eurobeatjester
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Eurobeatjester » Tue May 09, 2017 7:59 pm

Just had a friendship of 15 years come crashing down.

I'm the type of person that doesn't communicate that often. Even among my friends, we can go for a week or a month without talking and then pick right up where we left off. I had a friend of mine come down for a convention and she stayed with me and we had a great weekend. She had surgery a few weeks ago and I told her I would be in touch.

Now, as I mentioned, being in touch can still mean a week or more. The week after the convention I worked something like 60 hours while sick to make up the money I lost for taking off the weekend of the convention (and my phone was shut off for a few days because of lack of funds.)

Got my phone turned back on and messaged her, and she completely blew up on me accusing me of lying to her and being just like everyone else in her life that hurt her and all I did was use her. I could have emailed her or gotten ahold of her on Facebook (I haven't been on FB in months because I realize I'm addicted) but simply didn't think to with everything else going on. She didn't want to have anything to do with whatever reasons I didn't call her this last week to check up. I would have thought 15 years would be worth the benefit of the doubt regarding having a really shit week, but I guess not.

I'm not sure what hurts more - her thinking so little of me, her believing I think so little of her, or the idea that the person I thought I knew is gone for good.

Logically I know that if I didn't already have a friendship with her, the red flags and projection would be telling me to run after her blowing up over something like that, and at this point in my life I know enough to listen to them.

It's still gonna take some time for me to mourn the friendship, though.
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
Blank Mage wrote:
Eurobeatjester wrote:I doubt my ability to write convincing lesbian erotica
believe in yourself

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brythain
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by brythain » Tue May 09, 2017 10:17 pm

Eurobeatjester wrote:It's still gonna take some time for me to mourn the friendship, though.
That's very true, and I hope you recover well. It helps to put it into your creative production, though. My own writing has improved by my remembrance of past friendships and loves lost. Some of those things people complain about in AtD are the 'sads' from real events in my life. Remember that everything we go through is part of us, both good and bad. Take care; stay alive in all senses of that word.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Eurobeatjester
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Eurobeatjester » Wed May 10, 2017 11:47 am

Thanks bry. Means a lot.

I realize that what it comes down to is that she's not willing to give people a fraction of the understanding she demands from other people who are in her life. The profanity filled tirade she sent me over the last few days made that clear. It's not a friendship worth repairing because I'll end up on the end of the exact same tirade whenever something unexpected happens.
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
Blank Mage wrote:
Eurobeatjester wrote:I doubt my ability to write convincing lesbian erotica
believe in yourself

azumeow
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by azumeow » Wed May 10, 2017 8:38 pm

Eurobeatjester wrote:Thanks bry. Means a lot.

I realize that what it comes down to is that she's not willing to give people a fraction of the understanding she demands from other people who are in her life. The profanity filled tirade she sent me over the last few days made that clear. It's not a friendship worth repairing because I'll end up on the end of the exact same tirade whenever something unexpected happens.
Oh man, I just love when people flip the fuck out over the littlest shit. I mean, I've done it myself, but god damn what the fuck do you expect when you spend ten minutes constantly asking me if I'm okay and I say I am, EVEN THOUGH I CLEARLY AM NOT? It means I don't wanna talk about it, not that that callous, insipid cunt would realize what that's like since she'll bitch about her abusive family to anybody within a twenty-mile radius.

And then her and her friends tried to sabotage my first relationship that lasted more than like a month. Unsurprisingly, the stress they caused the two of us was a pretty decent factor in me breaking up with her. Also, her being batshit fucking crazy, but ya know, whatever
"I don’t want to be here anymore, I know there’s nothing left worth staying for.
Your paradise is something I’ve endured
See I don’t think I can fight this anymore, I’m listening with one foot out the door
And something has to die to be reborn-I don’t want to be here anymore"

Suzaku
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Suzaku » Wed Jun 21, 2017 2:41 pm

Ok, let's give some background here.

I am 17 years old, about to be a Junior in High School. I have Aspergers, and am an INFP personality type. I was reccomended this game, oddly enough, because of a BEYBLADE OC lol. I was told she had a similar attitude and demeanor to Hanako, so I played. Hanako's route crushed my heart so much that the only other route i feel like playing is Lilly's. First off, she is basically one of the cutest people in game, even with scars. I also have social woes, much like her as well as Hisao, and i'd say my personality is a weird combination of the two. My friends constantly move or stop contacting me, and I've basically been lonely as heck most of my life. My parents also aren't very understanding either, and for some reason I find a girl like Hanako would be likely to be a person I would date IRL. in short, She's essentially the reason I'm here, and I feel for her, as I rarely have really close friends. Honestly I;d love to be in a relationship, but I am socially inept. Her character feels like one I can comfortable around, and at least try to make it work out.

(Also never doing her bad route. I swear I cried a ton during the GOOD route.)
(Also sorry about necroing this thread, Is it a rule in here not to do that?)

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Oddball
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Oddball » Wed Jun 21, 2017 2:51 pm

There's no rule about necroing things as long as you have something worth saying.
Not Dead Yet

Suzaku
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Suzaku » Wed Jun 21, 2017 6:52 pm

TBH though, I am playing Lilly's route rn, and its kinda bittersweet to me to see Hanako going out on her own. Happy because she's finally become more sociable, sad because she basically dissappears from the game.

Suzaku
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Suzaku » Thu Jun 22, 2017 8:38 pm

I know this is stretching the topic a bit, but I just watched Hanako's bad ending on Youtube and... :cry: :evil: :cry: :evil: Why are you so dense Hisao!!! She asked you like 10 times to leave!

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Oddball
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Oddball » Fri Jun 23, 2017 5:20 am

Suzaku wrote:I know this is stretching the topic a bit, but I just watched Hanako's bad ending on Youtube and... :cry: :evil: :cry: :evil: Why are you so dense Hisao!!! She asked you like 10 times to leave!

You shouldn't watch the endings on Youtube. You lose context.

Basically though, at that point, though the choices you've made in so far, Hisao has never learned that Hanako can take care of herself nor has Hanako ever learned that she can really trust Hisao and that he actually does care for her.
Not Dead Yet

Suzaku
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Suzaku » Fri Jun 23, 2017 7:12 am

Oddball wrote:
Suzaku wrote:I know this is stretching the topic a bit, but I just watched Hanako's bad ending on Youtube and... :cry: :evil: :cry: :evil: Why are you so dense Hisao!!! She asked you like 10 times to leave!

You shouldn't watch the endings on Youtube. You lose context.

Basically though, at that point, though the choices you've made in so far, Hisao has never learned that Hanako can take care of herself nor has Hanako ever learned that she can really trust Hisao and that he actually does care for her.
Well, I did play through her good route, so I have most of her context, and i do understand her character more for it. I'm just too much of an emotional wimp to hurt any of the characters by taking bad routes. Heck, I think I left an emotional gulf by watching that, and now I just want to hug her tight.

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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by ArazelEternal » Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:26 pm

Suzaku wrote:
Oddball wrote:
Suzaku wrote:I know this is stretching the topic a bit, but I just watched Hanako's bad ending on Youtube and... :cry: :evil: :cry: :evil: Why are you so dense Hisao!!! She asked you like 10 times to leave!

You shouldn't watch the endings on Youtube. You lose context.

Basically though, at that point, though the choices you've made in so far, Hisao has never learned that Hanako can take care of herself nor has Hanako ever learned that she can really trust Hisao and that he actually does care for her.
Well, I did play through her good route, so I have most of her context, and i do understand her character more for it. I'm just too much of an emotional wimp to hurt any of the characters by taking bad routes. Heck, I think I left an emotional gulf by watching that, and now I just want to hug her tight.
I’m right there with you. I can’t intentionally hurt them either. One of my friends went through all of the endings and he said that Hanako’s bad ending was especially heart wrenching. Emi’s bad ending according to him was one of the least damaging, and I had a hard enough time with that one when I got it on my first play through. No thanks, I’ll just get the good endings.

Lilly = Hanako, Emi, Rin, Shizune
I fell in love with Lilly and Hanako

You are not alone, and you are not strange. You are you, and everyone has damage. Be your Emiest.

azumeow
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by azumeow » Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:24 am

So, this...kinda fits here, and it kinda doesn't. I guess I just want to tell the story.

Recently, my cousin was killed in a gunfight. He was a rather distant relative, related to my father (whose family is so fucked up we only associate with two of his....seven? siblings). He had just gotten a job with an armored truck company.

Somebody tried to rob them. Gunfight ensued. My cousin's partner took a bad shot, and...well, that was it. He lasted a few hours, I think.

So, I'm sitting here, alone in my room at 1 and change AM, thinking about this guy I barely knew who died in just....just a terribly unlucky way.

And I'm thinking about his funeral and just how crazy it was. The dude had a viking funeral. Mead, horns, fur coat, sword and shield, all that cool shit.

My cousin's going to Valhalla. I mean, I didn't really know him, but....it's just kinda sad to be reminded of the things that happen to good people. All he wanted to do was make a living. And because somebody decided to shoot up his truck, my cousin's going to Valhalla.

I hope there's a shitload of mead for ya up there, dude. Enjoy it.
"I don’t want to be here anymore, I know there’s nothing left worth staying for.
Your paradise is something I’ve endured
See I don’t think I can fight this anymore, I’m listening with one foot out the door
And something has to die to be reborn-I don’t want to be here anymore"

Suzaku
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Suzaku » Thu Jul 27, 2017 1:33 pm

To be honest, I think I actually found out most of why Hanako's route touched me most. Her inner strength is admirable, and also, the fact that she just wants to be treated as an equal parallels with myself, because I myself, would like to find someone that likes me for who I am, and as an equal. I realized that some of the feelings during her route were some of my own at my situation resurfacing. One of the reasons some people see me as not so equal is due to me having Autism, and its hard when one of the "charities" has demeaned you and speaks bad about people like you.

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wheelman82
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by wheelman82 » Fri Jul 28, 2017 9:34 am

Suzaku wrote:To be honest, I think I actually found out most of why Hanako's route touched me most. Her inner strength is admirable, and also, the fact that she just wants to be treated as an equal parallels with myself, because I myself, would like to find someone that likes me for who I am, and as an equal. I realized that some of the feelings during her route were some of my own at my situation resurfacing. One of the reasons some people see me as not so equal is due to me having Autism, and its hard when one of the "charities" has demeaned you and speaks bad about people like you.
Aye, I also identify with Hanako, I'm also autistic and I suffer from anxieties and depression, I was also treated as an inferior by some, though now I that most of my friends are also autistic, I don't really have much trouble with being treated as an inferior due to my autism, although I often still feel inferior because my depression and anxieties have completely crippled me, I couldn't finish school, and I will most likely never be able to hold a job, for me getting through the days is the only goal I have, my days are spent trying to find distraction so that I don't think about killing myself or alternatively stuff myself with food, as you can imagine, neither is the desired outcome.

I most relate to Hanako with her considering her life as on hold, I haven't properly lived in over 5 years, that's a quarter of my life...

Well, this turned pessimistic...

On the bright side, at least I'm not the kind of person who just likes her because they want to protect her, if she were a real person, I would treat her as an equal.

Sadly, I know someone quite similar to Hanako, she was traumatised by the divorce of her parents (I theorise), and she's practically in the same way as I am, yet, I couldn't really connect with her at school, I talked with her during breaks, got her to join my friends at school in our breaks where we just talked, ranted and made stupid autistic jokes, at first it seemed to go well, but then she just stopped spending the breaks with other people and retreated to the class room, I had the idea of trying to talk with her, but then I realised that it was not my place, if she wants to spend the breaks alone, who am I to try and change that? She was perfectly capable of deciding for herself, and there were others helping her, teachers and councilors and such, after that I didn't talk to her at all, I think, and then my depressions and anxieties got so bad I had to stop going to school, later I heard that she was spending her days at a "day-centre"(?) (a place where people who are handicapped have the ability to spend their days in a "useful" and satisfying way, I couldn't find a translation to English) in the town where I live, I'm currently looking into a similar thing for myself.
All'n zull'n buig'n voar d'n grote en hellige keizer van Boorn!
All shall bow before the great and holy emperor of Borne!
God'n behoede onz'n keizer!
Gods save our emperor!

Suzaku
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Suzaku » Fri Jul 28, 2017 10:16 am

wheelman82 wrote:
Suzaku wrote:To be honest, I think I actually found out most of why Hanako's route touched me most. Her inner strength is admirable, and also, the fact that she just wants to be treated as an equal parallels with myself, because I myself, would like to find someone that likes me for who I am, and as an equal. I realized that some of the feelings during her route were some of my own at my situation resurfacing. One of the reasons some people see me as not so equal is due to me having Autism, and its hard when one of the "charities" has demeaned you and speaks bad about people like you.
Aye, I also identify with Hanako, I'm also autistic and I suffer from anxieties and depression, I was also treated as an inferior by some, though now I that most of my friends are also autistic, I don't really have much trouble with being treated as an inferior due to my autism, although I often still feel inferior because my depression and anxieties have completely crippled me, I couldn't finish school, and I will most likely never be able to hold a job, for me getting through the days is the only goal I have, my days are spent trying to find distraction so that I don't think about killing myself or alternatively stuff myself with food, as you can imagine, neither is the desired outcome.

I most relate to Hanako with her considering her life as on hold, I haven't properly lived in over 5 years, that's a quarter of my life...

Well, this turned pessimistic...

On the bright side, at least I'm not the kind of person who just likes her because they want to protect her, if she were a real person, I would treat her as an equal.

Sadly, I know someone quite similar to Hanako, she was traumatised by the divorce of her parents (I theorise), and she's practically in the same way as I am, yet, I couldn't really connect with her at school, I talked with her during breaks, got her to join my friends at school in our breaks where we just talked, ranted and made stupid autistic jokes, at first it seemed to go well, but then she just stopped spending the breaks with other people and retreated to the class room, I had the idea of trying to talk with her, but then I realised that it was not my place, if she wants to spend the breaks alone, who am I to try and change that? She was perfectly capable of deciding for herself, and there were others helping her, teachers and councilors and such, after that I didn't talk to her at all, I think, and then my depressions and anxieties got so bad I had to stop going to school, later I heard that she was spending her days at a "day-centre"(?) (a place where people who are handicapped have the ability to spend their days in a "useful" and satisfying way, I couldn't find a translation to English) in the town where I live, I'm currently looking into a similar thing for myself.
To be honest, I feel as if I would make fast friends with Hanako. I believe that we'd both be able to treat each other as equals in a friendship. Of course, I would constantly feel I was annoying her... In a way, I'm just as guilty as her for retracting from others and living a shell of a life. Shame when you have alexithymia (a thing common in autism) and you constantly feel as if you have many different emotions at once and you feel torn by all of them.

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