I've been there before, it sucks Satan's balls and I feel for you. But let this pain teach you a lesson for the future; notice what happened here:Akagami wrote:Hey Folks, im sorry if its a bad timing or just absolutely blows up the current topic..
I've posted here before, that was 1 1/2 years ago and I can truly say that the people on here are wonderful. Never have i felt so accepted before, thats why im confident enough to tell you a new story.
A little information: I have never been in a stable relationship. Well i was in 2 which lasted 2 weeks each, but there were almost no feelings involved whatsoever.
So i met this girl about 4 months ago, she quickly began to see me as her best friend and i was really happy about it. About a month ago i finally felt it, i felt that i love her with every inch of my body. And i told her. She said she does not want to hurt me as she is currently not able to form a relationship with me simply because the feelings aren't there but she would love to try it. So i didnt keep my feelings to myself for the last couple of weeks as she knew that i love her and she always liked to hear me say it. We did come a bit closer and the feelings just grew stronger and stronger from my side although there hasn't yet come the moment where she was ready for a relationship. But then, today, she told me that she is developing feelings for some guy she met 1 1/2 weeks ago and I'm just sitting here wanting to cry but i can't.
She means the world to me and the last thing i want is her being sad because of me. I know it might be unhealthy but I'm putting her first , everytime. I want her to be as happy as she ever was, no matter the cost, even if that means seeing her with that other guy. I always keep telling her if she is down, that i will always be by her side and always be there for her. But right now i don't know if i will even be able to stay friends with her and it hurts. I have never had such strong feelings for anyone, ever, but at the moment i just wish i never had them. I just don't know what to do. I'm sitting here in front of my Laptop asking myself "How on earth is writing this going to help me?". I really want to cry, but i just can't. I can't cry because i know, or atleast hope, that she will be happy with him. And as long as she is happy i see no reason to cry because she is everything that matters to me. I told her i need some time to myself.. maybe until this stupid thing called love is gone. I'm afraid. I'm afraid to loose her or to hurt her feelings. I'm afraid, because she is the most perfect girl i have ever met in my entire life, she is and has everything i love. She is the one i've dreamt of since i was born. I just don't want to lose her... I don't know how to handle this situation, its completely new to me...
If you read all this: Thank you, it means a lot to me that there are people out there who care about someone's idiotic problems.
Edit 1: The thing that makes me want to cry the most is that she won't stop blaming herself for my feelings. I even told that i want to be the one that has to bear the blame. I don't want her to feel guilty because it might stop her from being as happy as she could be.
1. You met her 4 months ago, didn't make your move until 1 month later, and she told you that she doesn't see you as anything more than a friend.
2. Yet she's falling for a guy she met less than 2 weeks ago.
This no doubt strikes you as hideously unfair, and on some level I'd be inclined to agree, but it is what it is, and now you must deal with it. This is actually a very common pattern, if you care to look; think of all the couples that you know, and how they met. Only in TV shows and romcom flicks do longtime male and female friends suddenly discover, to their mutual delight, a passionate carnal ardor for each other. In real life, it's far more often the case that a guy meets a girl, makes his romantic intentions immediately clear, leads the relationship quickly and decisively in the direction of the bedroom, and then becomes her best friend and confidant after their sizzling sexual chemistry is already well-established.
Read these articles, and then read them again:
http://www.girlschase.com/content/just- ... -nightmare
http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-g ... -ever-need
http://www.girlschase.com/content/cant- ... more-girls
I am sorry, but you have probably lost this girl. I'd wager that you'd only have a chance with her if you cut off contact with her--for months, at a bare minimum--and then re-establish a relationship with the proper frame the second time around, after both of you have had time to wipe the slate clean. But given the depth of your feelings, and her awareness of how head-over-heels in love with her you are, I doubt even a long break will be enough to reset your friendship to the point that you can push things in a romantic direction. Certainly I never had any luck extricating myself from the dreaded friendzone.
Even tossing aside the extremely low-probability chance that you could get this girl after taking a break, I'd advise you to take a break from this girl anyway, for your own good. Trust me, as someone who's been there before, I can tell you right now that absolutely nothing productive will come from hanging around, continuing to be her friend, while the new guy either hits it off with her (while you drive yourself crazy imagining the two of them together) or the new guy breaks her heart (and she uses you as a shoulder to cry on, torturing you with the hope that she'll suddenly realize how much better you are for her...but this never, ever happens). Tell her that you care for her very much and that you wish to still be friends sometime in the future, but at present, it is simply too painful for you to continue interacting with her, and that you hope she understands. And then walk away. No texts, emails, facebook or anything. Walk away.
It hurts, but you must let her go. She is not as special or as perfect as you think. There are plenty of women out there who are just as special, and just as perfect, and who would love to meet you, if only you could get over this girl and go find them.