Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Zarys]

Also, I'd say it's worth everyone in this thread reading this... http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html

Eeeh... I agree with her to some degree. TBH, I may classify as both a nice guy and Nice Guy occasionally.

I am not rude to every one I meet, but I'm also not willing to talk unless you have something important/interesting to say. I will warm up to someone I want to or can connect with. That is basic human interaction. So... if opening up to someone you like and/or want to like you is dickish, sue me. I don't think it's evil, but I test as Kira 90% of the time on anime personality tests. I also have a "Huge Chip on my shoulder" about Middle School. Not against the female gender, but it definitely affects how I act. I offer dating advice as well. If someone talks about their boyfriend being a dick constantly, I will just say, "Doesn't matter what he says or how he'll change next week, dump him. You are not responsible for him." I don't imply they should date me. And of course, if a girl turns me down after a relationship, depending on the circumstances, I may or may not talk to her again. I'm fine with just being friends, but if they do something heinous, or if I grow to dislike them, then I will burn the bridge.

I suppose it just comes down to judging intent, in that case. I'd just like to warn that "Nice Guys" and nice guys are often two sides of the same coin, +/- a few motives or life experiences.

Well that's the point of the article that many men have a nice guy tendency and this is not something monstrous.
The only problem with this concept is that it can create a paranoia against people who are just awkward without being wicked, example : sometimes when a girl call a guy "creepy", he is really creepy, but some girls call every guys that they find not good enough for them "creepy", soo, it varies.

I also see what the article means about the "Friendzone" but some women want to be "friends" with all the guys they have dated but rejected (and I can understand that hang out a woman as a friend when you love her is too painful, what is wrong with that ?), or even are more ambigous to enjoy the dates paid by the guy....Life is more complicated than "nice guys against sllut girls" and there are weird manipulators of each sex.

And honestly, most people who are bad in seduction , are just less attractive and eloquent than most people; their personality and kindness is completely out of it. (Most people I know in this case are just unattractive and have poor shape because of things they can't fix)

[metalangel]

Well, I wish it were that simple but I am afraid it isn't. As I haven't really had anyone close for years, I somehow can't see how I am going to find such a person.
Having had holidays for few months, and basically staying home for whole days I have been thinking about this situation more and more. Finding KS two weeks ago didn't help either, having played it just made me realize what I missed, and probably lost the chance to have, as universities, as far as i know, aren't a place that you can easily socialize at, compared to how middle or high schools are (especially ones like Yamaku, with dormitories and such). And other than to school, I am not really going out.
Man, I just hope that going back to school routine, studying and such will get my mind off these things, as it did before.

Two things about this:
1. At university, GO OUT. I thought there were no places I'd like to go, but I just hadn't found them. I found a flyer for an indie/rock club type place which was far more laid back and fun than all the stuffy dance music clubs which had expensive drinks, dress codes and were full of arrogant dickheads. I introduced myself to some girls, had a few drinks, made some friends, joined the place's online forum... and for the next two years I had a circle of friends, lots of nights out, adventures, romance, fun. You don't have to go to a club, get drunk and jump up and down, but there's probably some activity or club or something nearby that you'd enjoy.

2. You think it's too late to find a close friend? You never know who, when, or where you'll find them. I went back to college ten years after university, and met my now-best friend (also a 'mature' student). We sometimes can't believe how it's all happened, how we became friends and began realizing how much in common we had and so became closer and closer. It had been so long since I'd had a friend like this, I'd forgotten what it was like.

[Liminaut]

@Bluegaze --

My experience was (and of course YMMV, this was in the USA):

I really hated Middle School (grades 6-8). Worst time of my life.
I hated High School (grades 9-12). Better, but still ugly.
I loved college.

College gave me a chance to reboot my life. I found a pretty simple formula for meeting people: find the most interesting people in my favorite classes, and talk to them about the class afterwards. Get together in study groups. Easiest way I've found of meeting people ever. Student housing also makes it easy to make friends. You've got a whole bunch of people that are away from their homes and looking to make friends. Talk to anybody about anything (not too crazy) and things are likely to work out.

College is a great chance to invent and re-invent yourself. Come to work with tri-color hair and you are likely to get a talk with management about professional behavior; come to class with tri-color hair and it's no biggie. College is a great time to try new spiritualities, try martial arts, try politics, try journalism, try different sports, go nuts.

[Zarys]

Hmmm...personally , I have the impression of having socialy messed up each period of my life, in the sense that I was an extrem shut-in (in the worst retard-kind) all through my childhood and adolescence. (I had only one real friend, it was during middle-school but I lost sight him after only two years)
It's a bit sad since I feel that most adults are very lonely.( The social life comes down to what after ? Keep his friends from adolescence before you're become 25 ? (If I take the example of my parents, they no longer had any social life since their marriage, and my mother did really only study when she was in the higher education), so I wasted the only occasions. (but I don't think I could have done differently, it really that my retardness and anxiety become very slowly weaker without I do anything for or against it, really out of my control)

[Lockhart]

You can explain the concept of neckboard fedora guy, manosphere, and generaly what is so wrong with what he have said ? I'm not a specialist of Internet culture so maybe It's just that I don't understand all what is implied.

"Neckbeard", "fedora", etc are shaming attempts that are best dealt with by a carefully aimed blast of complete ignorance.

It's not a surprising reaction - the basic message is "you're living your life wrong, this is how to improve and be happier". No one likes hearing he's doing things wrong, especially from some random person on internet.

Manosphere is a group of websites that deal with male self improvement. It has nothing to do with putting anyone down or any kind of violence, it mostly focused on dating, fitness and motivation, but it covers all sort of issues that concern men - problems that posters in this thread face, too.

To the rest, I already said I won't answer to posts that include insults. If you want to be treated as an adult, stop writing like a pissy 12 year old girl. Stop talking about facial hair and starting your posts with "oooohhh wow, just wow" and you might get a reply.

[Lockhart]

You can explain the concept of neckboard fedora guy, manosphere, and generaly what is so wrong with what he have said ? I'm not a specialist of Internet culture so maybe It's just that I don't understand all what is implied.

"Neckbeard Fedora Guy" - it's kindof a take on people who have attitudes like this. Nothing is wrong with them, it's the world that's wrong. The term originated on Myspace and Facebook from people that would post the types of things being said here about the evils of women, religion, etc.

Enough of the people who would post things like this would have two things in common: An unshaven face that was so bad a beard was growing not just on the chin but on the neck (hence, neckbeard) and a $10 fedora from Walmart because for some reason, a lot of people think it's a fashion statement.

A lot of people that say "I won't settle for less than X in a man/woman" or "No man/woman is good enough for me" are completely oblivious to the way they look and do nothing to keep up their own appearances. In women it can be harder to tell, but almost universally, men who let themselves go like this have a "neckbeard" because it's the first thing that grows in once you start to neglect your appearance.

In short, it's a holier than thou attitude that is quick to call out all flaws in others while refusing to acknowledge you have any flaws or hypocrisy of your own.

"Manosphere" - the whole concept he's discussing has to do with the perception that men aren't men anymore and have been degraded by women and society. But instead of trying to be equals, what he's encouraging is that men "become men again" by completely degrading women on almost every level and putting them in their place.

So that's what's wrong with what he's saying. It's equating men as less than equal to women, so the point is to make women lesser than men disguised through things like "alpha male" and "playing the game" and the like.

None of this has anything to do with finding a quality person you can spend your life with that makes you happy. It's mainly about getting revenge on a whole gender through destructive behavior because someone dumped you or turned you down.

Most of those guys wearing a fedora and generally looking awkward as hell are either very socially unskilled or on autistic spectrum. Social skills can be learned, so it's not a big deal, but autism is a condition that makes one's life a lot harder, so I'd say it's in poor taste to even throw the term "fedora" around too much.

If anything you're telling us a bit about yourself by using it.

I don't know what you think by manosphere wanting to "completely degrade women".

Alpha male in manosphere terms is a confident, strong man with a fulfilling goal in life that either has a lot of sexual partners, or 1 high quality partner if he choses to. The main point is having a choice, not hanging around and "falling in love" with a first decent looking girl that's nice to you.

The game is a set of social skills that helps with convincing a girl to have safe and consensual sex with you. It's proven to work and can be learned and applied by anyone. The point is that nothing brings two people closer together than having sex - 1 night of banging will bring you closer to a girl than 10 romantic dinner dates. After you're done it's on both of you to decide whether to stop seeing each other, become friends with benefits, or pursue a long term relationship.

I hope this clears things - I made my points very clear and I doubt any more explanation will be needed.

Best of luck to everyone with solving your problems. Know this: when you're given a shorter stick than everyone else, what you do is sharpen it and proceed to stab anyone that gets in your way! Figuratively, of course.

EDIT: Another thought - the game is like Krav Maga, which is a mixed martial art developed by Israel Defense Forces. It's meant to cause maximum possible damage in a simplest possible way. Now, you can use that knowledge to defend yourself and others, or you can become a dangerous criminal. Just like the game - it's designed to get maximum possible sex in a simplest possible way, and can be used for either good or bad.

[Silentcook]

This thread has always been connected somewhat tenuously to the general thrust of the KS forums, but it has been tolerated so far.

The latest influx of squabbling, aggravated by the equivalent of a shouting match where each side tries to beat the other through volume rather than debate, concerns topics only tenuously related even to the original point of the thread.

This ends now.

[Eurobeatjester]

This thread has always been connected somewhat tenuously to the general thrust of the KS forums, but it has been tolerated so far.

The latest influx of squabbling, aggravated by the equivalent of a shouting match where each side tries to beat the other through volume rather than debate, concerns topics only tenuously related even to the original point of the thread.

This ends now.

Don't worry, I'm done. No point in continuing, for multiple reasons.

[Zarys]

Jingoro might be a self absorbed dick, but he's also right at everything he says. I loved the character, thought it was very entertaining.

.

Uh ? Jigoro might be a self aborbed dick, but but he never said anything sexist or discriminatory. (He even treats Shizune like a eldest son, he even encourage her to imitate him, take positions of responsibility,ect...he is the kind of father who would be proud that Shizune has a career).

(USER WAS TEMPBANNED FOR THIS POST: "THIS ENDS NOW" MEANS EXACTLY THAT)

[LilyKitsune]

This thread has always been connected somewhat tenuously to the general thrust of the KS forums, but it has been tolerated so far.

The latest influx of squabbling, aggravated by the equivalent of a shouting match where each side tries to beat the other through volume rather than debate, concerns topics only tenuously related even to the original point of the thread.

This ends now.

Bleh. I find it incredibly aggrivating that someone like him is here trying to prey on the depressed and bring them into a philosophy of insecurity, abuse, amd entitlement. Vulnerable people dont need that around them. Nobody does. I've tried to explain it, but like a cultist, he ignores and keeps trying to lure people in with promises that contradict prior promises. If someome were here suggesting some other harmful act to sad people, would that be okay?

(USER WAS TEMPBANNED FOR THIS POST: "THIS ENDS NOW" MEANS EXACTLY THAT)

[Steinherz]

*sees the above two posts*

The cook takes no shit.

Good to see this thread is getting railroaded back on track, I'd hate to see it get locked like some of the other interesting threads.

[azumeow]

It's all falling apart now, it seems. Hahahahahaaaa.

The pain's becoming worse and more frequent. At least it seems to have the common courtesy to remain for no more than a few minutes when it gets bad.

Roommate's gone again, has been for the past week and a half. Will be back on saturday, he says. That means apartment cleanup. Which means going up and down the stairs to the ground floor to throw crap out about...or, four or five times each way? Fun.

And my loneliness is starting to become crippling. I'm dreaming of having people in my life, whether I'm asleep or I'm having a daydream. Now, for those who don't know or don't remember my story, I have PTSD. Dreams are almost always bad for me, no matter what they're about. My method of falling asleep is leaving the lights off when I decide that maybe an hour or two from now I'd like to sleep, then letting the fuel tank run empty. Sometimes it could take until 2-3 AM, especially when I was in a dark spot. Almost had to drop out last semester because of it. Basically, dreams have always been harbingers of fear, evil and pain. When I dream about something decent, it has SIGNIFICANT meaning in my life.

I want someone. Someone to hold. Someone to hold me. That's all. That's all I want, and I'm trying, but I'm not the type of person who just randomly walks up to people he doesn't know very well and asks if he can just curl up in their lap and hug them and cuddle them and sob his eyes out. The only people I do know well enough are with other people, and it makes me jealous as fuck seeing them together (except for my ex...I really have no desire to actively make her a part of my life.)

[LordMarluxia]

It's all falling apart now, it seems. Hahahahahaaaa.
(...)

Shit, mate. Have you tried calling one of the few people you know and just talk...? Or you don't know them well enough for that?
I guess what I'm trying to say is... Ask for help. The world ends in you. Try to, somehow, broaden your horizons, through the people you already know. I know it's hard belive me, I do. But sometimes you need a little push.

PM me if want to talk in private mate.

[azumeow]

Shit, mate. Have you tried calling one of the few people you know and just talk...? Or you don't know them well enough for that?
I guess what I'm trying to say is... Ask for help. The world ends in you. Try to, somehow, broaden your horizons, through the people you already know. I know it's hard belive me, I do. But sometimes you need a little push.

PM me if want to talk in private mate.

Actually, I've been making an effort to open up to people more. It's....not the easiest thing, but it's something worth doing. I had a big event today with my club, then hung out with some friends and a girl I fancy, all from the club. We had a nice, fun chat.

Except, just like last night, my leg basically died. Felt like somebody took a morningstar to my knee. I fell last night, and again a few times today. Today, I managed to save some grace and crash into a table rather than falling right down to my knees in the middle of a path like I did last night, but it's just humiliating. My friends are great about it, they got my food, carried my stuff over to the table we were sitting at...it's just humiliating. Hell, last night before I fell, my friend basically carried me halfway to where we were hanging out. I can't stand for long periods of time any more. It's just not possible. I find myself grabbing for my painkillers more and more frequently, although I'm trying to keep that from becoming a habit.

It's reassuring to know that my friends are there to help me, even if I loathe the idea of needing help wherever I go.

[LordMarluxia]

Shit, mate. Have you tried calling one of the few people you know and just talk...? Or you don't know them well enough for that?
I guess what I'm trying to say is... Ask for help. The world ends in you. Try to, somehow, broaden your horizons, through the people you already know. I know it's hard belive me, I do. But sometimes you need a little push.

PM me if want to talk in private mate.

Actually, I've been making an effort to open up to people more. It's....not the easiest thing, but it's something worth doing. I had a big event today with my club, then hung out with some friends and a girl I fancy, all from the club. We had a nice, fun chat.

Except, just like last night, my leg basically died. Felt like somebody took a morningstar to my knee. I fell last night, and again a few times today. Today, I managed to save some grace and crash into a table rather than falling right down to my knees in the middle of a path like I did last night, but it's just humiliating. My friends are great about it, they got my food, carried my stuff over to the table we were sitting at...it's just humiliating. Hell, last night before I fell, my friend basically carried me halfway to where we were hanging out. I can't stand for long periods of time any more. It's just not possible. I find myself grabbing for my painkillers more and more frequently, although I'm trying to keep that from becoming a habit.

It's reassuring to know that my friends are there to help me, even if I loathe the idea of needing help wherever I go.

That happens to me sometimes but for different reasons (chronically damaged knee).
I think it's good that you still have some moments with friends, that makes it worthwhile. And if your friends are there to help you when you need it, then be reassured that they are not going anywhere.

What's wrong with your leg? (Sorry if you already said it.) You need to have that checked out, it's dangerous, more than anything.
And... perhaps go Dr. House style with a cane? If you really need it, of course.