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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:29 pm
by Potato
ginywiny wrote:Set all that aside, all I'm saying is that, to me, it feels as if Hisao got closer to most of them because of sex.
PERIOD. Personal opinion.
...Okay. Great. Nobody even once debated that point so I'm not sure why you're riled up about it. Also, stating "personal opinion" is utterly pointless and telling of a rather ridiculous "I'm above debate and criticism because it's my opinion!" mindset. Personal opinions can still be debated and, in some cases, proven wrong.

And not to pick on you but I have to be a realist. There is no truth in "for sure, soon you will end up in somebody's arms." because A) You can't possibly know if it will be soon or not and B) You can't possibly know if it will happen for sure. In fact, considering Lily's attitude of hopelessness, it won't be soon because people don't go for sadsacks. And if that outlook does not improve, it just plain won't happen. Comforting platitudes are not truths.

You dated someone who turned out mean and awful. So...YOU ARE PROOF...That sometimes people end up with awful partners and things go bad. Who needs proof of that though? "Don't give up! You could totally end up in a pair of arms that turn out to belong to a complete jerk!" - C'mon, really? :lol:


@LilyKitsune: How many have rejected you, in how large an area, in how much time? All important factors if you're jumping to conclusions of sweeping generalization and number-figuring. Maybe you need to widen the selection pool? And that attitude creates a self-fulfilling prophecy more often than not. It's not guaranteed that you'll find a right person for you under any circumstances. But it is guaranteed that, if you just give up on the whole thing, you'll never find anybody at all. And as for not being physically "what they're looking for", well...If you yourself also aren't pleased with your physical side, it may be something to work on after the poor outlook.

If you fix your outlook and keep at it, odds are eventually there'll be somebody. Now, this somebody will be great for a time and that time should be enjoyed...But then they may turn out not to be that great and you may end up on your own again afterward. But you had some good time so take that and look for someone more, someone who will stay great for all the time. And honestly, some people never find that perfect person and they go it alone. But that's just life. They stay happy because they still enjoy themselves. They don't view a partner as the be-all end-all of happiness. So while you're searching and waiting for somebody, just enjoy yourself. Nobody wants somebody who's miserable on their own. After all, if you can't put up with yourself, how will anyone else do it?

Also, I've seen people in their 70s find each other just fine. "Too late" is just nonsense and poison.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 12:47 pm
by LilyKitsune
Potato wrote:
ginywiny wrote:Set all that aside, all I'm saying is that, to me, it feels as if Hisao got closer to most of them because of sex.
PERIOD. Personal opinion.
...Okay. Great. Nobody even once debated that point so I'm not sure why you're riled up about it. Also, stating "personal opinion" is utterly pointless and telling of a rather ridiculous "I'm above debate and criticism because it's my opinion!" mindset. Personal opinions can still be debated and, in some cases, proven wrong.

And not to pick on you but I have to be a realist. There is no truth in "for sure, soon you will end up in somebody's arms." because A) You can't possibly know if it will be soon or not and B) You can't possibly know if it will happen for sure. In fact, considering Lily's attitude of hopelessness, it won't be soon because people don't go for sadsacks. And if that outlook does not improve, it just plain won't happen. Comforting platitudes are not truths.

You dated someone who turned out mean and awful. So...YOU ARE PROOF...That sometimes people end up with awful partners and things go bad. Who needs proof of that though? "Don't give up! You could totally end up in a pair of arms that turn out to belong to a complete jerk!" - C'mon, really? :lol:


@LilyKitsune: How many have rejected you, in how large an area, in how much time? All important factors if you're jumping to conclusions of sweeping generalization and number-figuring. Maybe you need to widen the selection pool? And that attitude creates a self-fulfilling prophecy more often than not. It's not guaranteed that you'll find a right person for you under any circumstances. But it is guaranteed that, if you just give up on the whole thing, you'll never find anybody at all. And as for not being physically "what they're looking for", well...If you yourself also aren't pleased with your physical side, it may be something to work on after the poor outlook.

If you fix your outlook and keep at it, odds are eventually there'll be somebody. Now, this somebody will be great for a time and that time should be enjoyed...But then they may turn out not to be that great and you may end up on your own again afterward. But you had some good time so take that and look for someone more, someone who will stay great for all the time. And honestly, some people never find that perfect person and they go it alone. But that's just life. They stay happy because they still enjoy themselves. They don't view a partner as the be-all end-all of happiness. So while you're searching and waiting for somebody, just enjoy yourself. Nobody wants somebody who's miserable on their own. After all, if you can't put up with yourself, how will anyone else do it?

Also, I've seen people in their 70s find each other just fine. "Too late" is just nonsense and poison.
It's not something I can fix. Its not weight or hygiene related or anything like that. I'm trans, tall, and generally unattractive. Really, I've been unwanted since birth. It has been 5 that have physically met me, and many others on dating websites, generally as soon as I tell them im trans (even though it is the first line in my profile) but the ones ive met have generally said that I wasnt what they expected physically. See I'm not a totally miserable person. I know the type you're thinking of. They live off of others, declaring that they'll somehow grow up instantly if they find someone. Im not that. I have a life. I live alone, I have passions, and goals and I absolutely do work towards them on my own. But it hurts being an unwanted person. But just from being trans, my pool is limited enormously. Being tall and unattractive is just rough. I cant change those things. The thing is, I can make friends. I do, even. I worry I make them uncomfortable or that they see me as a guy no matter what, but im generally easy to get along with and talk to according to a lot of people. I stilk talk to two of the people that rejected me on looks. But the rejection hurts, and so does being alone. Being unwanted. I dont want to spend more time like this. Certainly not until 70.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 1:29 pm
by metalangel
@LilyKitsune: I don't intend to preach to the choir, but is there a big LGBTQ community where you live?

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 1:51 pm
by LilyKitsune
metalangel wrote:@LilyKitsune: I don't intend to preach to the choir, but is there a big LGBTQ community where you live?
There is about two hours away. A little less by train but train costs add up quick. Also, that wouldnt be where to find someone for me. A lot of people equate transwomen with gay guy, but that's just not the case. Gay guys want guys, not transwomen. I like guys so other transwomen wouldnt work.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 2:11 pm
by metalangel
LilyKitsune wrote:
metalangel wrote:@LilyKitsune: I don't intend to preach to the choir, but is there a big LGBTQ community where you live?
There is about two hours away. A little less by train but train costs add up quick. Also, that wouldnt be where to find someone for me. A lot of people equate transwomen with gay guy, but that's just not the case. Gay guys want guys, not transwomen. I like guys so other transwomen wouldnt work.
Okay. I understand you feel the field is narrowed, my reasoning was that you'd be more likely to find queer positive and pan folks in that community.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 2:50 pm
by bhtooefr
LilyKitsune wrote:Gay guys want guys, not transwomen. I like guys so other transwomen wouldnt work.
What about transmen (in addition to metalangel's suggestion of pansexual men)?

(Although I'm guessing you've already thought of that, too...)

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:50 am
by LilyKitsune
metalangel wrote:
LilyKitsune wrote:
metalangel wrote:@LilyKitsune: I don't intend to preach to the choir, but is there a big LGBTQ community where you live?
There is about two hours away. A little less by train but train costs add up quick. Also, that wouldnt be where to find someone for me. A lot of people equate transwomen with gay guy, but that's just not the case. Gay guys want guys, not transwomen. I like guys so other transwomen wouldnt work.
Okay. I understand you feel the field is narrowed, my reasoning was that you'd be more likely to find queer positive and pan folks in that community.
I'm not sure what you're referring to by "community" then. There really aren't any large groups I know of. Getting to nyc or fire island gets costly quickly.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 10:48 am
by metalangel
I mean the LGBTQ community... where I live there's a number of neighborhoods where the community likes to hang out and socialize. Bars, clubs, cafes. Places to meet people and socialize. I'm in a Facebook group for LGBTQ gamers and went along to one of their social/mixer nights in the back room of a club. It was a lot of fun and I met some cool people.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 1:15 pm
by CoffeeDrive
My tumblr senses are tingling.

I dont like it.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:24 am
by ginywiny
CoffeeDrive wrote:My tumblr senses are tingling.

I dont like it.
Haha.
Lets be nice

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 7:08 am
by LilyKitsune
CoffeeDrive wrote:My tumblr senses are tingling.

I dont like it.
No no, not that. Ever. Promise.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 7:58 am
by Zarys
I am the only to think that Hanako played chess with her mother or her father (or both) ? Shizune said she seems attached to memories associated with chess than the chess itself.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 8:00 am
by CoffeeDrive
Zarys wrote:I am the only to think that Hanako played chess with his mother or his father (or both) ? Shizune said she seems attached to memories associated with chess than the chess itself.
I fucking knew hanako was a dude.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 8:01 am
by Zarys
Dude....(But after all, Hanako is Kenji)

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 8:32 am
by LilyKitsune
CoffeeDrive wrote:
Zarys wrote:I am the only to think that Hanako played chess with his mother or his father (or both) ? Shizune said she seems attached to memories associated with chess than the chess itself.
I fucking knew hanako was a dude.
Only strengthening my identification with Hanako!