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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:54 am
by ArazelEternal
Unfortunately just keeping things bottled up inside doesn't work all the time. I should know.

I had a severe mental meltdown two months ago and ended up in the ER for a few hours because of it. I don't remember much of it, but my father told me I was hysterical. A lot of it came from just shutting down and not talking to anyone about anything because I didn't want to burden others with my issues. The way I saw it is they have enough to deal with without worrying about me. Finally it just got to be too much and came out in that meltdown.

I'm learning now that just talking it out helps a lot. Even if the other person has nothing to say in return, just talking and venting helps a lot. I'm on an medicine that is both an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety, and I have a potent anti-anxiety I take on the side if I'm having an episode of anxiety that doesn't respond to anything else. Thankfully, I haven't had to take any for a good while now.

I also was seeing a shrink for a while. I'd still like to see him, but I cant afford the sessions and have no health insurance because I cant afford that either. Go figure. He diagnosed me with depression and also told me that I was on the high-functioning spectrum of autism. That makes sense since my elder brother is highly autistic and my mother had an idea for years that I was as well, but didn't say anything about it because she wasn't sure how I would react to it. It took it okay because it doesn't change who I am, but only gives me more direction in life.

My point here is - and this is for everyone - do not be afraid to talk to someone. Don't let what happened to me happen to you. Its the worst feeling in the world, utter helplessness, hopelessness and uselessness. Thankfully someone was around when it happened, otherwise I very likely would not be here right now.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:22 pm
by metalangel
I talk - just not about certain things to my parents. My best friend is my confidante, we always contact one another first about anything or anytime something happens. I have other friends I sometimes talk to about some of this stuff but my BFF is without question top of the list.

One of my oldest friends recently revealed they have resigned themselves to being alone because - as per the above post - they don't want their mental health issues to be a burden on others (and to save themselves the heartache too). I don't agree with this course of action but it's their choice and they accept they might well come to regret it.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 12:55 pm
by OtakuNinja
My best friend finally started dating that creepy, manipulative (former) married man, and I don't know what to do anymore... Yesterday she called me and was crying, because she couldn't resist him when he touched her, said he liked her and refused to eat if she wasn't present (Their ju-jutsu team was away on a camp over the weekend). This morning I received a text saying "Everything is somewhat solved now... I think. It might fuck up my life later." followed by: "Some things happened last night... You probably don't want to know the details. Hehe."

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:03 pm
by Potato
OtakuNinja wrote:It might fuck up my life later.
Literally the most obvious indication that one cannot ever be trusted to make their own decisions. Ever.

Actually no. That "hehe" chuckle after the quoted bit makes it more obvious.

Get some sense into this person, by any means necessary. That's really all that can be done at this point.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:08 pm
by bhtooefr
Or just write that person off as a lost cause. They're not your responsibility.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:28 pm
by OtakuNinja
Potato wrote:
OtakuNinja wrote:It might fuck up my life later.
Literally the most obvious indication that one cannot ever be trusted to make their own decisions. Ever.

Actually no. That "hehe" chuckle after the quoted bit makes it more obvious.

Get some sense into this person, by any means necessary. That's really all that can be done at this point.
She knows this isn't good for her. Even more so since they've known each other for 3 years withoout anything happening, but last summer he started manipulating her, from what I can tell. He was married until only a week ago, and his kids are older than us. I've been worrying about this camp of theirs for a very long tíme... Btw, her mental strength = zero. She can't say no to nobody, herself included. That's why things became like this. She tried to avoid him, or make it clear that he shouldn't touch her, but at the same time a small part of her brain enjoyed it... This is hard for all involved. :(
bhtooefr wrote:Or just write that person off as a lost cause. They're not your responsibility.
Easier said than done. I'm not the person who abandons a friend I've known since kindergarden.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:45 am
by Potato
OtakuNinja wrote:Btw, her mental strength = zero.
So, to be blunt, she's a tool? Pardon my lack of sympathy for such a person.

Fix that, and you fix the problem. Get her alone, lay out everything she's screwing up, and don't let her leave until she develops a semblance of her own will. Hell, she can't say no to anybody, right? Outright order her then. If she won't grow any strength of will, exploit her lack of it to pull her away from that nonsense.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:55 am
by SpunkySix
Potato wrote:
OtakuNinja wrote:Btw, her mental strength = zero.
So, to be blunt, she's a tool? Pardon my lack of sympathy for such a person.

Fix that, and you fix the problem. Get her alone, lay out everything she's screwing up, and don't let her leave until she develops a semblance of her own will. Hell, she can't say no to anybody, right? Outright order her then. If she won't grow any strength of will, exploit her lack of it to pull her away from that nonsense.
But make sure it moves beyond that in the end, or she won't be self sufficient and it will happen again. She seems like a decent person but you can't live in this world without a spine.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:01 am
by Potato
SpunkySix wrote:
Potato wrote:
OtakuNinja wrote:Btw, her mental strength = zero.
So, to be blunt, she's a tool? Pardon my lack of sympathy for such a person.

Fix that, and you fix the problem. Get her alone, lay out everything she's screwing up, and don't let her leave until she develops a semblance of her own will. Hell, she can't say no to anybody, right? Outright order her then. If she won't grow any strength of will, exploit her lack of it to pull her away from that nonsense.
But make sure it moves beyond that in the end, or she won't be self sufficient and it will happen again. She seems like a decent person but you can't live in this world without a spine.
Now I'm just thinking, what if one of the Yamaku girls' disability was lack of a spine...

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:07 am
by SpunkySix
Potato wrote:Now I'm just thinking, what if one of the Yamaku girls' disability was lack of a spine...
I'm sure the staff could handle it... they seem pretty flexible themselves.

HAHAHahahahahahaaooohno now I have a boney bone... :|

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 5:59 am
by Munchenhausen
SpunkySix wrote:
Potato wrote:Now I'm just thinking, what if one of the Yamaku girls' disability was lack of a spine...
I'm sure the staff could handle it... they seem pretty flexible themselves.

HAHAHahahahahahaaooohno now I have a boney bone... :|
That is quite a cutesy name for an erection... :P
Or should I be more worried that the thought of a young girl with a congenital lack of spine was what triggered it?

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 4:41 am
by bhtooefr
Fuck.

I've realized why I ship Hanako x Akira so much.

Hanako reminds me of me (except her anxieties are much more broad), Akira's personality reminds me of... someone I didn't date, but we both wanted to (my anxiety, and later, circumstances (like her having a kid, and being engaged to the father of her kid) prevented that from ever happening), and were extremely close friends for quite a while. (She looked more like Emi, though.)

And, I'm old enough now that it's not socially acceptable for me to not have a clue how to date someone (never having done so), so at this point, I'm living vicariously through a couple of fictional Japanese girls.

Ugh.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:03 am
by ArazelEternal
bhtooefr wrote:Fuck.

I've realized why I ship Hanako x Akira so much.

Hanako reminds me of me (except her anxieties are much more broad), Akira's personality reminds me of... someone I didn't date, but we both wanted to (my anxiety, and later, circumstances (like her having a kid, and being engaged to the father of her kid) prevented that from ever happening), and were extremely close friends for quite a while. (She looked more like Emi, though.)

And, I'm old enough now that it's not socially acceptable for me to not have a clue how to date someone (never having done so), so at this point, I'm living vicariously through a couple of fictional Japanese girls.

Ugh.
Easy to do man. Don't get down on yourself about it. Ive only dated once myself. I don't know much more about it than you do. I'm very nervous about meeting new people and asking them out. I'm never certain how to do it, and I think most people are that way (except for maybe the supremely confident ones).

Its easy to find something to love in a fictional character, and wish they were real. I think most of us here are like that. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn't get in the way of real life.

I know its much easier said than done. MUCH easier. However, if you find someone you really like, you need to just say damn the consequences and tell them how you feel. That's what I did the first time, and it worked. Her and I dated for a year and a half before we both ended up moving and the distance just became to great to be able to keep up with.

Funny thing was, she was almost the spiting image of Emi. Petite and very slender. She looked like a grade schooler, but was in fact a year older than me.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 2:29 pm
by metalangel
bhtooefr wrote:
And, I'm old enough now that it's not socially acceptable for me to not have a clue how to date someone (never having done so), so at this point, I'm living vicariously through a couple of fictional Japanese girls.
There's plenty of advice out there on how to do date people, it's not *that much* different from going out with friends.

I dated this one girl a while ago, she didn't seem sure what to do most of the time (as in ME: What do you wanna do now? HER: I dunno). We were going out for just over a month before I got frustrated by this lack of initiative and so left the ball in her court to 'return' and suggest what we should go do next. She never did. Meh. I suppose the lesson for you there, bhtooefr, is be an active participant.

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Posted: Sun May 11, 2014 12:35 am
by CharcoalWhite
Well, I thought that I might post here again, mostly because it seems that the only people who seem to give me much consideration are people I met through a cripple porn game forum. That sounded horribly melodramatic.

Anyway, I kinda had to get my act together recently, mostly due to the fact that I wont graduate high school unless I get a C or higher on my math test next Tuesday and also on the final. Which probably wont be too hard, but the pressure has taken it's toll on me. That and several poorly timed depressive states that go away after a few weeks, and come back in full force aren't exactly helping. Math is my worst subject, mostly because I cant seem to keep a train of thought together long enough to finish a problem or study. In all of my other classes it isn't so bad, but in math I tend to make lots of stupid small mistakes that throw me off just enough to miss the problem. But I got a 78 on my last test, considering that I have been averaging 55's the whole year that is pretty good. All I am trying to to do now is stay afloat, since I would be astronomically screwed if I didn't graduate. I didn't post any of it on here in my first post, mostly because that thing was pretty long to begin with and I didn't really think people would want to read something even longer than that was, but in my earlier years of schooling, I excelled at math, so much so that I was working two years above my grade level in first grade. Remembering that is almost painful because it seemed like I had so much potential, yet I failed utterly.

I have played all of the routes now, and can definitively say that Lill'y's is my favorite, followed closely by Rin's. I really liked Rin's route, and it has inspired me to start drawing. My goal is to hopefully get good enough to one day draw that image I saw (I mentioned it in my original post). I keep all of my drawings so I can measure progress, which has been an excellent motivator. I look back and see how I used to draw things, and see how I draw them now, and the difference is what keeps me going.

To keep my post relevant to the previous discussion had on here, I suppose dating would really be about just having fun with the person you are with. I have never dated anyone, but I think that no matter where you choose to go (so long as it is not completely absurd) if you are both enjoying yourselves, why do anything different?

Also, bump because seeing this on the second page makes me sad.