Post
by MickMuffin » Mon Apr 29, 2013 4:20 pm
Well. I may as well post my story here too. Bear in mind, this is still going on, and spans about two years now. Also, know that none of these names are the reals names of the people. I'll be using fake names, for their own sake. Thanks in advance for reading.
I guess it all starts at the beginning of Freshman year of high school. But let's go back a bit further. There's this girl. Let's call her "Claire". Yeah. That's a pretty name. Claire. So since the day I've met Claire, (which has been since the first grade) I've had a crush on her. Over the years, it's developed into full on love. But hell, what do I know? I'm sixteen. My idea of love probably isn't what love really is. But anyway.
Claire and I go to different high schools. But it's okay, we still talk and live close. Well, at my new school, I meet this other girl. We'll call her Faith. Turns out Faith and I have a lot in common. Music, movies, TV, video games, etc.. We become fast friends, and eventually share our pasts. Nothing bad's really happened to either of us in the past, aside from some minor bullying I've been through, but it ain't much. I tell her about Claire and how I love her and all that. Cool. She tells me about her old best friend who she loves and all that, but who left her. He sounds like a douche though.
The year goes on. Around Novemberish I start getting into My Little Pony, and that quickly overruns my life. But I won't get into that. I get that not everyone's a fan. Faith and I become better friends, despite all the abuse she puts me through, and soon enough, it's the end of the school year. Claire's out dating some douchebag that Faith set her up with, and I'm a bit sad. Actually really sad. But I figure as long as I have my best friend, I'll be okay.
Well. I'll never forget that day. June 22nd, 2012. I believe it was a Tuesday? Correct me if I'm wrong there. But anyway, this was the last time I could actually call Faith my friend. Because after I left from a visit to her house, (In which, mind you, was just fine. No problems, nothing. Normal day) she stopped answering me completely. No calls. No texts. Nothing. I got worried.
Now, you'd think that I could just go up to her door and knock and ask what the fuck's up. But...eh...I'm not really the best with that kind of stuff... But anyway. After two weeks of being left in the dark, I get the call from her. Of course I answer as soon as I can. And the first thing I do is rattle off "Are you okay" "Where were you" blah blah. I was worried, after all.
"I was just calling to let you know that I hate you," she said. I'll never forget those words. How serious her voice was. The way she sounded so angry when she said this to me. I froze. I didn't know what the fuck to say. I ask her why. All she says is that I know what I did. But...what the fuck did I do? It gets to the point where I'm screaming her name before she hangs up the phone. Then I just break down and sob on my bathroom floor for an hour. Summer goes on. None of our other friends are talking to me either, I guess, and Claire's out with her douchey boyfriend. These were the loneliest and saddest two months of my life.
School starts up again. I see Faith. I don't know what to do. Or say. I'm choked up. What the fuck did I do? "How was your summer?" she asks, all calm and shit. Like, what the fuck did you just ask? You fucking know what you did to me. Don't ask me how the fuck my summer was, because you ruined fucking everything for me, you fucking thundercunt. Excuse my language. I'm getting a bit riled up typing this out.
We talk that night over Facebook or some other messaging thing, I don't remember. I ask what I did that day.
Well. Apparently I raped her that day. Yeah. But wait, one part she left out was I didn't even fucking touch her. But she goes and lies to everyone and says this. When we both know nothing happened. Well, at least I know nothing happened. She still seems to think that I did rape her to this day. But...I didn't... Honestly, I think she's losing it, as much as it hurts to say it.
My grades start dropping faster than panties at a Justin Beiber concert. I can't deal with it. Being alone. No one to go to at all. All my friends gone, and the one person I've ever had feelings for romantically gone from my life too, basically. Until December comes. In which Claire and I begin talking again. I bring up the fact that I love her still, and well, it leads from there. Apparently she does too now. So we date for a while. It's nice. We do nice things together. I lose my virginity to her. Still madly in love with the girl.
We stop talking after a while. I get scared. Ask her why. She gives me, "I'm busy I'm sorry" for the longest time. My patience is long. But after a while of this, I get mad. I ask what the fuck's up. I get it out of her eventually. Apparently, get this, she never did love me. She just wanted me to be happy.
At least her heart was in the right place. But I still feel...heartbroken? Lied to? Used? All those things. This was recent too. And is pretty much the end of my story so far.
So here I am. Broken, still willing to forgive those who hurt me, and still love those who hurt me. In my brokenness, my brother suggests I play Katawa Shoujo. After finishing Emi's path, I get all "Oh, okay. That was nice. Let's try Hanako next."
And after Hanako's path...
Well, let's just say that I've never felt so close to a character before than with her. And I'm not quite sure why. But she's amazing. I sobbed for a while after her good ending. I love Hanako. And well, now, I'm here. Giving you guys the pieces of my heart. Hanako picked them up for me, and now you can take them. Do what you will with them. Break them further, fix them up, I don't care. I don't even know why I'm talking about my heart right now. Or why I'm ranting on. Huh.
"These are just the eyes of a man who has seen things. A shaman's eyes. Terrible things, that you can't even imagine."