Just gonna post my story here. Was trying to work up the guts and get around to typing it for a few days now. Got into a pretty... interesting fight with my mother, to say the least, some how convinced me I need to type this now rather than later.
A quick forewarning, this will probably be a mess of thoughts as I tend to go off on tangents frequently so this may be hard to follow, I may go and organize it though, we'll see.
So, I guess I'll start off with that, I had a pretty decent life at home, never really any problems, aside from the past year or two. I'm more of a loner type, not much into the talking or collectable card game known as "Friendship" that is popular in high schools, or so I've heard. I had a pretty uninteresting early childhood. Went to a small pre-k and later an entirely different kindergarten. This had very little effect on me, as I only stayed in contact with maybe one or two people from there merely because we went to the same schools together afterwards. Now, while I talk about my education up to 9th grade, as in, it changed in 9th grade, I went to private schools. And small, pretty crummy ones at that.
Anyways, onto the main portion of my life, the little private school I went to. It was a private pre-k through 8th grade school, and it was Catholic. It wasn't your stereotypical preppy, fancy school. About 150 kids attended, and it almost shut down once just because it couldn't get much funding and such. So I didn't attend until 1st grade, and from 1st to 3rd grade, I had it easy. I only had two friends, but we were pretty close. I'll call them Isaac and Andy for the time being. Well, I had a pretty fun 3 years with them to say the least, with no troubles at all, until around 3rd grade. My two closest friends decided they were more interested in sports rather than the imaginative type games we had played for the years previous. I tried to keep up, ending up in basketball, which was the sport they started, until 8th grade, though I was done by 4th grade, my mom made me keep at it and it is one of the things about her that I resent. She gets over involved in my life. But that is aside from my main point.
After this, despite playing on the basketball team with my friends, I made one, and later another, friend at school who shared my imaginative mind. We literally played a game where we'd play fight as anything. Eventually, a rather shunned kid, joined us as well, he was viewed as weird. I could've cared less though, as he had a pretty creative mind as well. That lasted about until 6th grade or so, when they'd both left that school. During these years, a Samoan kid with a mental handicap had enrolled, at the start of 3rd grade to be precise. He was picked on, a ton. By myself included for several years. He clung to me excessively, despite the obvious hate I showed him for about two or 3 years. The worst of it was in 5th grade. Basically, I bullied him, something that still haunts me to this day, but we've since become great friends, I guess, despite I only see him for about 5 minutes every week or two nowadays. We made up after 6th grade had started, and we were basically friends for the rest of my time at that school. I could never tell him anything or confide in him really though, as he never understood what I talked about, which saddened me. At one point, when two kids transferred schools who had known each toher, they were basically bullies. I stood up for this friend though, when they picked on him, as he usually took it and cried. That felt pretty good.
Now onto where my big life issues began to happen. I suppose you have had enough of my random ramblings about my boring early childhood. 6th grade. As I said, the two previous friends I had made had left, and Isaac and Andy were still interested in basketball, I wasn't, but my mom kept me on the team anyways, always saying "Just finish this year, then you can quit" which was repeated every year until 8th grade. See, this is what I mean about random tangents, I can't focus, I feel like Emi trying to work up to telling Hisao that spoilery, yet obvious stuff at the end of her route, except less working up, and more unfocused brain being unfocused. What I've been trying to get to though, is I made a new friend, who basically was the most popular in our class, and by the time we hit 8th grade, in the school. I'll call him Bert, for sake of his privacy. Bert was popular, and I was basically that guy that followed him everywhere who traded secrets with him and was the only relate able person he had, as we were the only two people that enjoyed gaming at the school. Well, anyways, I grew to trust him, my first mistake. Around early 7th grade, he basically told a girl I liked, that well, I liked her, and being as shy as I was, and thought I could trust him, it tore me apart. I held a grudge against him and well after several more complications between us, being the popular kid, he managed to get me exiled/shunned for all of 7th grade. No one talked to me, or even cared about me. I spent my free time at school pacing, while he was the center of attention among my class, which, consisted of 20ish 7th graders. Ya, so 7th grade sucked, I felt betrayed, and to be honest, I haven't trusted anyone since really. We sort of made up in 8th grade, my grudge and emotional scarring (semi-dramatic sounding) still existed, but we basically got back to hanging out, and he is currently my only "friend" to this day. As since then, my definition of friend is what someone would normally consider a best friend.
Another issue I feel to bring up about those last three years at this school was I was pretty bullied I guess... Never put much thought into it. I basically adapted my personality to keep from being a loner again in 8th grade, as while in 7th grade it was great for self-reflection, it was also pretty miserable. Anyways, at the time, perversion and immaturity were on the high, so I adapted to fit that role. Well, I grew popular and made tones of "friends" though I hated almost everyone. For some reason though, everyone joked about me being a homosexual. No idea why to this day. I sort of laughed it off, while still feeling rather hurt. I could care less if a guy said it, but when a girl said it, I felt it had more impact. The girl who learned I liked her, well I liked her up until 8th grade, and when she finally said I was gay... well, I lost it. I was heartbroken to say the least. So something stupid I did. I ended up bullying her. Yup, while I truly had no intention to hurt her, as I liked her, as everyone took things out on me, I took things out on her. It was mostly joking around, though I suppose that is a lousy excuse to try and cover up my mistakes. I felt it an even trade as she always said insults never bothered her. Well, we weren't friends after that, she fell in love with an actual homosexual, I didn't talk to her much, and have no clue how she is doing. I also feel I need to make the point of I have never been in a romantic situation, let alone relationship. I never got dared in the truth or dare to kiss a girl or anything of the like.
So after that painful and awkward time, it was on to high school. A public one at that, which was and is a pretty big culture shock, as my dad puts it. Tons more kids, the whole changing classes and teachers was a new concept to me, and well, no one I knew from my previous school went on to this school. So it was a fresh start, sort of. I still had my trust issues, my shy and shelled-up personality, and became paranoid as how others viewed me. I found myself constantly messing with my hair, as it stood up frequently, and I suffer from dandruff and acne. Ya, I was a mess... I couldn't take much for insults anymore, so I began laughing. At everything. Whether it was funny or hurtful, I laughed. I can't say I honestly know what true happiness feels like, as it has been a while for me. I've basically been pretty sad and depressed. I've wanted to cry, but that's been a while since it happened too. I am currently a lowly 9th grader, with a personal lunch table, and no friends. Afraid that if I reach out again, I will face the same bullying and betrayal that I once felt.
On a side note, I am only in 9th grade so I'm openly admitting I'm under the age to play this game. Another thing was... I do talk to people in classes from time to time, but these people know nothing about me aside from my name. My social interactions are usually me nodding, smiling, laughing, or shrugging, though I occasionally answer question. And another thing, this may have grammar and or spelling errors, this was typed late at night with my hands shaking like crazy.
Another quick thing before I hit submit, if for any reason, I offended someone, I'm sorry. I'm pretty bad with words and expressing my self. This being the first time I've told my whole story to anyone. Even this last note is going off topic...
I'll just leave it at this, I may have missed something, but oh well, too late now. Enjoy my long life story that I feel is now where near as terrible as some of your guys' stories which make me want to find where you live and hug you. Well...here we go...submit. Oops, forgot to answer the anti-bot question, that was anti-climactic... Here we go again...