Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[simmr001]

[..]
Overall my advice to people, is to remember that a single true friend far outweighs a hundred acquaintances, and often times the loneliest people, the anti-socials and the rejects, will make the best friends you could ever find. Because those who know what it's like to have few to none in their circle of friends are the ones who appreciate the full value of having a true friend. A cheesy as hell quote that I literally scoffed at a while back comes to mind "The loneliest people are the kindest, The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do." It's true you know.. Not always of course, some damaged people are dumber than a brick, and there are some sad people who don't smile worth shit, and plenty of lonely people who are complete dicks(eventually being lonely/anti-social evolves into simply hating people, not healthy..) but it still rings true for the most part.

I agree there... A lesson I learned early enough was the difference between 'friends' and actual friends: Either they are still friends even if it isn't convenient at that moment... or they are friends only when it is convenient to them. I choose to not bother with the latter. And with my Deafness it is rather easy to figure out the latter group, as they quickly can't be arsed to engage me in conversations.

Ironically I'm often being told I'm a good listener despite my Deafness

Not really, you don't take it for granted when someone "speaks" to you.and if they make the effort they are genuinely looking for someone who appreciates what they are saying

[Xanatos]

[..]
Overall my advice to people, is to remember that a single true friend far outweighs a hundred acquaintances, and often times the loneliest people, the anti-socials and the rejects, will make the best friends you could ever find. Because those who know what it's like to have few to none in their circle of friends are the ones who appreciate the full value of having a true friend. A cheesy as hell quote that I literally scoffed at a while back comes to mind "The loneliest people are the kindest, The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do." It's true you know.. Not always of course, some damaged people are dumber than a brick, and there are some sad people who don't smile worth shit, and plenty of lonely people who are complete dicks(eventually being lonely/anti-social evolves into simply hating people, not healthy..) but it still rings true for the most part.

I agree there... A lesson I learned early enough was the difference between 'friends' and actual friends: Either they are still friends even if it isn't convenient at that moment... or they are friends only when it is convenient to them. I choose to not bother with the latter. And with my Deafness it is rather easy to figure out the latter group, as they quickly can't be arsed to engage me in conversations.

Ironically I'm often being told I'm a good listener despite my Deafness

Oh hey, it's that deaf bi- Kutagh! Horribly cliche quote, good advice.

[Shail]

That quote is probably the one thing that has kept me from suicide. Family would suffer to much.

I know it's not going to help but I'm sorry for your poor love life. Kinda puts mine in perspective.

And most people who devolve into hate can come back. Going that far can instill a fanatical sense of personal loyalty too

I have always had a collection of issues, I could probably get a scholarship to Yamako, obsessive and addictive personality, bi-polar, OCD, ADD(or ADHD.. I have symptoms of both), extreme depression at times. I can get suicidally depressed at the flick of a switch for weeks at a time over some pretty insignificant things. After some thought I came up with a theory of sorts that has yet to be disproved. I obsess over things, alot, depending on how much fun or how emotionally attatched I get to something, determines how long I obsess over something.1-3 days for most books/anime/movies/fan fiction. 1 week or so for general "fun games" like Terrarria, 2-3 weeks for really good games(Firefall) and minor emotional attatchment, and 1-3 months for major emotional attatchments and few games(Minecraft/1st GF/KS)

Because of the way I obsess over things, if the... resources end(Beat game, finish book, finish anime, etc) before my obsession wears off, the amount of time I would have spent still obsessing over it is roughly the same length of time I spend depressed or sad over things. Obviously the longer the depression the worst it is in the beginning. Some of the worst depressions I've had in my life were my 1st GF, my 2nd friend, KS(Yes Katawa fucking Shoujo left me depressed for 2 weeks, I lost 6 pounds until I found the fan fiction of this website, reading the fan fiction helped alot to alleviate the depression, but it extends the obsession) and the time my "sort of friend" died back in SC, he was autistic and a bit of a tard, but I walked a mile home with him from the bus daily, his house was on the way to mine. We were kindred spirits of sorts, both lonely and not that social, possibly could have become friends but he went off the deep end and attacked the schools police officer and was shot and killed. He made the news, was at Carolina Forest High School in SC, few years ago.

I've been suicidally depressed twice(1st GF had me attempt and fail suicide, nearly died but damn paramedics knew their shit, and KS had me thinking thinking about it) The only real advice I can offer for that area, is to simply tough it out and hope things get better, because that is the only thing that keeps me going in life. The hope that eventually, things will get better, when I finally get enlisted in the AF I'm staking everything on that. My hopes of making true friends and finding love again, my dreams of publishing a best seller and traveling the world, all of it.

[simmr001]

That quote is probably the one thing that has kept me from suicide. Family would suffer to much.

I know it's not going to help but I'm sorry for your poor love life. Kinda puts mine in perspective.

And most people who devolve into hate can come back. Going that far can instill a fanatical sense of personal loyalty too

I have always had a collection of issues, I could probably get a scholarship to Yamako, obsessive and addictive personality, bi-polar, OCD, ADD(or ADHD.. I have symptoms of both), extreme depression at times. I can get suicidally depressed at the flick of a switch for weeks at a time over some pretty insignificant things. After some thought I came up with a theory of sorts that has yet to be disproved. I obsess over things, alot, depending on how much fun or how emotionally attatched I get to something, determines how long I obsess over something.1-3 days for most books/anime/movies/fan fiction. 1 week or so for general "fun games" like Terrarria, 2-3 weeks for really good games(Firefall) and minor emotional attatchment, and 1-3 months for major emotional attatchments and few games(Minecraft/1st GF/KS)

Because of the way I obsess over things, if the... resources end(Beat game, finish book, finish anime, etc) before my obsession wears off, the amount of time I would have spent still obsessing over it is roughly the same length of time I spend depressed or sad over things. Obviously the longer the depression the worst it is in the beginning. Some of the worst depressions I've had in my life were my 1st GF, my 2nd friend, KS(Yes Katawa fucking Shoujo left me depressed for 2 weeks, I lost 6 pounds until I found the fan fiction of this website, reading the fan fiction helped alot to alleviate the depression, but it extends the obsession) and the time my "sort of friend" died back in SC, he was autistic and a bit of a tard, but I walked a mile home with him from the bus daily, his house was on the way to mine. We were kindred spirits of sorts, both lonely and not that social, possibly could have become friends but he went off the deep end and attacked the schools police officer and was shot and killed. He made the news, was at Carolina Forest High School in SC, few years ago.

I've been suicidally depressed twice(1st GF had me attempt and fail suicide, nearly died but damn paramedics knew their shit, and KS had me thinking thinking about it) The only real advice I can offer for that area, is to simply tough it out and hope things get better, because that is the only thing that keeps me going in life. The hope that eventually, things will get better, when I finally get enlisted in the AF I'm staking everything on that. My hopes of making true friends and finding love again, my dreams of publishing a best seller and traveling the world, all of it.

I got obsessed over a laptop for three years, and that was aspergers. Hold onto those dreams, I got cheated on with multiple men with my first. And writing is an interest of mine, so I'll be willing to give opinions.

Also if anyone is interested, robin's sister got her 1 year sobriety coin.

[Zorbeltuss]

I'm broken, I'll say that up front.

Bullied since I was six or seven (earlier if you belive my mom, but I didn't pay mind to that back then), at twelve it de jure stopped, but the facto I was still given different treatment than anyone that I knew, the only time that that wasn't the case was at the university for two and a half years before I broke down and couldn't muster the strength to go back there.
After Uni I started taking up some of the responsibility of a local weekly anime and games community meet, at first it was not so bad, the harsh words just passed me by and they were light then, I helped a few people turn their lifes to the better, and while I got appreciation for the people themselves, I got shit about that from the rest and last year the "chairman" or what you call it outright said it would just be better if I killed myself and be done with it.

I've never had a romantic relationship, lots of friends with benefits though, although it has always seemed to benefit the other part exclusively though.
There has been a lot of excruciating rejections and two people who killed them selves before I could muster the courage.

I was born into a piss-poor family of alcoholics with an abusive "father" and a mother who prefers to go into lala-land than to help, I had two half-siblings on my "fathers" side who never could stop pretending that I was another person and forcing me into that role. My grandparents on my "fathers" side has always been complaining that I was born the sex I was, but ending it with a sour "but you turned out fine anyway didn't you?".
But I forced my way out of my "fathers" side of the family when he tried to run me over in his car, drunk and probably high as fuck, just note that he wasn't much less abusive when sober.
Now I know that he might not be my father and is dying in cancer, I also know who might be my real father and can probably take that up in court, but I know that "father" has a fortune inherited from my grandparents and I feel horrible about it but I keep on dragging my feet because if I don't take it up in court I will have a lawful inheritance of ~25%.
On my mothers side of the family I've gotten two know and love three people the people has died within a year after getting to know them and after than no one of the rest wants to get to know me.

I've had friends but most have gone and betray me when I've needed them the most and lately I've been so scared of that so I've inadvertently betrayed quite a few of them.

I have a few medical conditions but the only one that my doctors haven't been extremely reluctant to tell me a diagnosis for is my extreme chronic b12 deficiency and that's after being a weekly at the hospital for seven years.
Also last year I lost 70 pounds in about a months time, the doctors ignored that completely.

Suicidal well not so much now, I gave a promise to three real friends that I wouldn't try again until I knew that neither of them cared either way anymore, I havent seen either of them for months but that is probably for the best even though it makes me falter. Anyway that promise was given after the 27th attempt last year, so I'm quite prone to go that way, while I've been close I haven't tried train or bridges yet, neither do I keep track of train schedules or stacking counter top medication anymore, but both liver and kidneys are probably pretty beat up.

Currently, I just hope for an end which doesn't have a basis in my actions, I haven't spoken to most of my friends in over half a year and they do not even seem to notice.

It was almost impossible for me to post this and frankly I don't know why I did so, what will it help?

/Zorbeltuss

[simmr001]

I'm broken, I'll say that up front.

Bullied since I was six or seven (earlier if you belive my mom, but I didn't pay mind to that back then), at twelve it de jure stopped, but the facto I was still given different treatment than anyone that I knew, the only time that that wasn't the case was at the university for two and a half years before I broke down and couldn't muster the strength to go back there.
After Uni I started taking up some of the responsibility of a local weekly anime and games community meet, at first it was not so bad, the harsh words just passed me by and they were light then, I helped a few people turn their lifes to the better, and while I got appreciation for the people themselves, I got shit about that from the rest and last year the "chairman" or what you call it outright said it would just be better if I killed myself and be done with it.

I've never had a romantic relationship, lots of friends with benefits though, although it has always seemed to benefit the other part exclusively though.
There has been a lot of excruciating rejections and two people who killed them selves before I could muster the courage.

I was born into a piss-poor family of alcoholics with an abusive "father" and a mother who prefers to go into lala-land than to help, I had two half-siblings on my "fathers" side who never could stop pretending that I was another person and forcing me into that role. My grandparents on my "fathers" side has always been complaining that I was born the sex I was, but ending it with a sour "but you turned out fine anyway didn't you?".
But I forced my way out of my "fathers" side of the family when he tried to run me over in his car, drunk and probably high as fuck, just note that he wasn't much less abusive when sober.
Now I know that he might not be my father and is dying in cancer, I also know who might be my real father and can probably take that up in court, but I know that "father" has a fortune inherited from my grandparents and I feel horrible about it but I keep on dragging my feet because if I don't take it up in court I will have a lawful inheritance of ~25%.
On my mothers side of the family I've gotten two know and love three people the people has died within a year after getting to know them and after than no one of the rest wants to get to know me.

I've had friends but most have gone and betray me when I've needed them the most and lately I've been so scared of that so I've inadvertently betrayed quite a few of them.

I have a few medical conditions but the only one that my doctors haven't been extremely reluctant to tell me a diagnosis for is my extreme chronic b12 deficiency and that's after being a weekly at the hospital for seven years.
Also last year I lost 70 pounds in about a months time, the doctors ignored that completely.

Suicidal well not so much now, I gave a promise to three real friends that I wouldn't try again until I knew that neither of them cared either way anymore, I havent seen either of them for months but that is probably for the best even though it makes me falter. Anyway that promise was given after the 27th attempt last year, so I'm quite prone to go that way, while I've been close I haven't tried train or bridges yet, neither do I keep track of train schedules or stacking counter top medication anymore, but both liver and kidneys are probably pretty beat up.

Currently, I just hope for an end which doesn't have a basis in my actions, I haven't spoken to most of my friends in over half a year and they do not even seem to notice.

It was almost impossible for me to post this and frankly I don't know why I did so, what will it help?

/Zorbeltuss

Normally it can make you feel better _hug_

[Zorbeltuss]

Normally it can make you feel better _hug_

I hope it will, but now I'm just crying _hug_

[Shail]

This may come as a shock, but believe it or not, a real hug can make a difference in someones life. After my 1st gf died, I was really depressed, was going to attempt my suicide a 2nd time. But my 1st friend, the best bro I've ever had managed to talk me out of it with a hug. Now, before all you homophobes(It's not a phobia, you're just an ignorant asshole) start screaming *gaaay*, there was none of that crap going on. Hug from a bro, a bro-hug, does wonders to help people who are lonely and depressed. It may not seem like much for people with alot of physical contact, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume most people here aren't getting alot of positive physical contact. When you don't get physical contact much, the times you actually do are that much better, 5 years later I can still vividly remember the first true hug I've ever had, with my 1st gf a few days before she died. It is still my most cherished memory, and the reminder of that gives me hope when I'm down, that simple act has had a large impact on my life and my development as a person. You people joke about hugs like it's nothing, but you're underestimating how much of an impact they can really have.

[Kutagh]

[..]

I agree there... A lesson I learned early enough was the difference between 'friends' and actual friends: Either they are still friends even if it isn't convenient at that moment... or they are friends only when it is convenient to them. I choose to not bother with the latter. And with my Deafness it is rather easy to figure out the latter group, as they quickly can't be arsed to engage me in conversations.

Ironically I'm often being told I'm a good listener despite my Deafness

Not really, you don't take it for granted when someone "speaks" to you.and if they make the effort they are genuinely looking for someone who appreciates what they are saying

It's rather ofter through internet where my Deafness is less explicit actually, but yeah. It probably also has to do with the fact that I value my actual friends (virtual or physical) so I'm willing to try to make time for them.

[Shail]

It's rather ofter through internet where my Deafness is less explicit actually, but yeah. It probably also has to do with the fact that I value my actual friends (virtual or physical) so I'm willing to try to make time for them.

It's hard to be deaf through words, and just because you haven't met them in real life doesn't mean they can't be good friends. Something alot of ignorant tards should learn -c-

[simmr001]

This may come as a shock, but believe it or not, a real hug can make a difference in someones life. After my 1st gf died, I was really depressed, was going to attempt my suicide a 2nd time. But my 1st friend, the best bro I've ever had managed to talk me out of it with a hug. Now, before all you homophobes(It's not a phobia, you're just an ignorant asshole) start screaming *gaaay*, there was none of that crap going on. Hug from a bro, a bro-hug, does wonders to help people who are lonely and depressed. It may not seem like much for people with alot of physical contact, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume most people here aren't getting alot of positive physical contact. When you don't get physical contact much, the times you actually do are that much better, 5 years later I can still vividly remember the first true hug I've ever had, with my 1st gf a few days before she died. It is still my most cherished memory, and the reminder of that gives me hope when I'm down, that simple act has had a large impact on my life and my development as a person. You people joke about hugs like it's nothing, but you're underestimating how much of an impact they can really have.

It's also rather telling for homophobia when most of its most vocal supporters keep getting caught with rentboys.

I just saw someone sad and hugged them. I got two girlfriends through that.. I also got a sore jaw from a punch

[Crawford]

But my 1st friend, the best bro I've ever had managed to talk me out of it with a hug.

o7 to that total bro of yours. Good to see he stuck around when you needed it most.

Also if anyone is interested, robin's sister got her 1 year sobriety coin.

Many congratulations! hopefully she'll keep motoring on strong!

[rockin robin]

Theirs something I want advice on and I don't know where else to put this.

My art neighbour, I have recently found out, has been painting couples in the University. Most of them are multi-faith(Muslim-orthodox, Catholic-Buddhist, ) multi cultural (Asian-black lesbian couple) or disabled. And he asked us. We agreed and we posed for a painting.

The issue: although we posed clothed he painted us naked, not with anything exposed but still. Now he said he wouldn't hand it in if we said no, but the teacher has already stated it's a quality work and would get him perfect marks.

Any ideas guys

[Sea]

Theirs something I want advice on and I don't know where else to put this.

My art neighbour, I have recently found out, has been painting couples in the University. Most of them are multi-faith(Muslim-orthodox, Catholic-Buddhist, ) multi cultural (Asian-black lesbian couple) or disabled. And he asked us. We agreed and we posed for a painting.

The issue: although we posed clothed he painted us naked, not with anything exposed but still. Now he said he wouldn't hand it in if we said no, but the teacher has already stated it's a quality work and would get him perfect marks.

Any ideas guys

Hmmmm,
How do you feel about your being chosen for a painting? Seeing how he has been doing interesting (trying to be least offensive here) couples, do you feel ok being on that list? If so, go for it. I've never had a portrait done of me before.

[rockin robin]

Theirs something I want advice on and I don't know where else to put this.

My art neighbour, I have recently found out, has been painting couples in the University. Most of them are multi-faith(Muslim-orthodox, Catholic-Buddhist, ) multi cultural (Asian-black lesbian couple) or disabled. And he asked us. We agreed and we posed for a painting.

The issue: although we posed clothed he painted us naked, not with anything exposed but still. Now he said he wouldn't hand it in if we said no, but the teacher has already stated it's a quality work and would get him perfect marks.

Any ideas guys

Hmmmm,
How do you feel about your being chosen for a painting? Seeing how he has been doing interesting (trying to be least offensive here) couples, do you feel ok being on that list? If so, go for it. I've never had a portrait done of me before.

He's done the picture, it's the fact he drew us naked that concerns me.