@Walrusfella, thank you for your thoughtful and wise words, friend. I really appreciate it. I hope that your relationship goes well forever. I too, have definitely decided not to follow in my parents' wake.
Well, I don't know how the average females of your country was, but I guess I was just not the most sociable type around. As I considered again, I wouldn't speak much to other people including the males except the ones I had an acquaintance/friendship with. I had almost no friends at highschool though. Not that I would consider recognizing every acquaintance as friends. I got used to loneliness in highschool after a time though, because gaining my childhood friends and getting to know new ones outside school helped me out a lot. Come to think of it, I was never enrolled to a good school except for the very first school I went which was for rich people's kids. Maybe dealing with assholes had added quite an effect throughout my life.
And about accepting the risk of saying something stupid while communicating with females, I'll definitely consider trying that. But I don't think I will hold out long because I am a guy with insecurities about that, you know.
My best bet is to meet with awesome females on univercity. But I'm not all hopeful about that. I don't know how my mindset will be then. Who knows, maybe my luck might turn around again.
I wish goodness and pleasantness in your life, Mr. Walrusfella
@introfate, thanks for your motivating words and advices, I agree that nothing ventured is nothing gained, but I hope that I can work it out someday, someway.
@Mr. Voxile, I have been reading your posts on here. I agree that life is never fair, especially on people who had financial problems. I know how a home strikes a youngster, I know the importance of home when the people are young. Everytime I moved, it felt like leaving my warm nest and leaving all the memories behind, pleasant and horrible alike. It felt... empty...
It's true that I actually don't exactly know how people and environment around you were, in your time. I don't exactly know how it felt like living in that home, so I cannot associate myself to you completely. But I conceived that as much as important any home for all youngsters, it must have striken you badly living in that house throughout your youth.
And about the school problems, it seems like pretty much majority have suffered the same fate here, including me. I know how children, teenagers and even adults; can be senseless, absurdly crude and atrocious. I even had terrible teachers who had messed with me together with students. I read about your memory about that girl. I lost count of how many times I endured such shameful events. For instance, once there was that election for class presentative in our grade. I remember some guy sarcasmically promoting the others to vote me, and then I remember the other guy saying "No, shit, not in a hundred years" and stuff. I just remember putting my head on the desk helplessly without a word.
And at some point at highschool, I would constantly slump down on the desk and sleep in classes because of my permanent depression and boredom, and they ironically made a word about me secretly masturbating under the desk constantly. I know it sounds funny. I was at the peak of my depression at that time, and that was before we moved back to our hometown. And I wouldn't talk about it to neither to my father nor to my mother, because my father is always a displeased asshole and I won't give anymore ammunition to him. And I wouldn't tell to my mother, because she was already sad for me enough.
From what you wrote, I understood it as that you've been going to univercity as well. I don't know how are you, or what is your occupation right now, but I would suggest you to get a job enough to make you rich if you were still in highschool or stuff. I don't know if you've still pending issues or disabilities caused by your past -like me- but in any case, I would say just fuck your past and everything else and try to make a lot of money, if you could. I'm sure more girls and even more slutty girls than Amy would come to kiss you willingfully. If that is not a possibility, just try to be happy for the rest of your life Mr. Voxile. I don't know what else to say.
@ewok40k, just fuck it, if you feel really lonely, need to talk, or something else, screw everything and talk here. Or PM me.
@dwarduk, don't worry, friend. Nobody says anything negative about anybody here you know. And nobody is going to judge you
you can feel free to write anything you want anytime, nobody is forcing you, though.
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Meanwhile, about today, I got really mad at my father because of a certain reason, and I was about to post a heated message going on about how much I hate my father, but then, I decided to watch some scenes of my favorite comedy show from youtube just to calm myself down, and I finally feel better now. I removed that message before posting it. Otherwise you would probably think that I was crazy if you've seen what I was about to post here.
. Its so totally random and probably has scared many people, then again I mostly just avoid the person/people I exploded on so I wouldnt really know.
Kaede <3
