Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

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gRaViJa
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Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by gRaViJa » Sun Feb 05, 2012 6:23 pm

This amazing VN did change my life a bit and here's why. First of all it is just an awesomely well written novel. It made me think about disabilities and dealing with such problems, something i never did before.

Anyway, the main reason for me is Emi's story. It reminds me heavily of my own life. Even only a few people i know in real life know about this, but because of KS i felt a whole lot of emotions again that i hadn't felt in years. After a few days of thinking too much, i decided to write it all down. I know there are more of these kinda stories going around, but i just felt i had to, so bare with me :)

As a teenager, i was a bit shy, still had a decent amount of friends, but awkward when anything with a girl became too intimate. When i was 17 i had my first big crush. The girl was amazing: cute, outgoing and she really understood me. Quiet like Emi even. But that's not the point. I was having the time of my life with her, and in the summer of 2007 our relationship got more serious. I felt it was around time to inform my parents about it etc. For me that was a big issue because i always felt awkward talking about these kind of things with my parents. But just then, it happened. Something that scarred me forever. My girlfriend died in a car crash.

Damn, i'm still having a hard time writing those words. I remember i couldn't talk about it with anyone, only a few friends knew that we were together, but then i went to university and almost nobody knew about it. I never informed my parents about her and my new classmates didn't know me of course. I only kept contact with a few people from my high school and only they know, even untill today. During the first months of university, i endured the worst time of my life, i think it's clear why and i'm not going to elaborate on that.

Luckily i met some amazing people at university. Slowely but certainly i was able to give the accident a place in my life, to a certain level at least. But never did i tell anyone about my girlfriend and what happened to her. Just like Emi i felt like i had to battle this fight by myself. In the years after i never let anyone close to me, afraid of losing someone again. Dealing with such a thing again would be the end of me. And then came another girl.

She was a great person and for the first time i felt something again. Not sure it was love, but i did feel alive again. But as i said, i didn't want anyone to get close to me. This girl would do everything for me, she said exactly that to me. And what did I? I dumped her, like a douchebag.

The next 2 years i developed a normal life. I have some good friends, got a degree, hobbies etc. but only one thing was missing: someone to love. In all those years after the accident i never felt love. Ever. Then, i started playing KS, randomly got Emi's act and my jaw dropped when i saw the similarities with my own life.

After completing the route. I just sat down and thought... for days. About my life and everything that happened. I realised that i'm 22 now and that it's time to finally really deal with my past. Last week, i contacted the girl that was in love with me and that i dumped. I know she got a really rough time after that, but she recently found someone. I just had to explain why i was such a douchebag back then. So i told her all about it, just like i did now. It was difficult for me, but i felt liberated afterwards. She said she understands, or at least that she will try to, and she told me that i should visit my girlfriends grave.

After thinking about it for days, i decided i should visit her. I never saw her grave after the day of the burial, which is more than 4 years ago now. When i stood at her grave, i felt so many things. Most of all depression, to be honest. Instead of putting the past behind me, it felt more like i was going to be devoured by it again. Emi had someone to share her feelings with, but i didn't. God, i felt terrible, i just miss her so much, even now, still.

But during this last week, my feelings started to shift. I started to feel free somehow. Finally i can look to the future again instead of the past. Yesterday, i went out with some friends and i had a nice conversation with some girl without starting to think about how i'll have to dump her when she starts to mean too much too me, someday.

Now, i still haven't been in love since the accident, but i gave the past a place, finally. I feel like i CAN love again. I'm not saying that this is all because of KS, but the novel certainly was one of the triggers to start taking matters in my own hands again.

So, i really do thank the 4leaves studio for this wonderfull game (and Emi too, she showed me there's a life after such an incident). I'm going to play the other arcs as well, but maybe after a small emotional break lol ^^
Last edited by gRaViJa on Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Caesius
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by Caesius » Sun Feb 05, 2012 6:31 pm

I teared up a little reading this, to be honest.

Thank you for sharing, and good luck in the future.
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DH531
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by DH531 » Sun Feb 05, 2012 6:54 pm

Yes thank you for sharing this dude. :) I wish you the very best in life.

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Titus
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by Titus » Sun Feb 05, 2012 7:03 pm

Amazing :)

Best of luck to you!
What if life had a soundtrack similar to Katawa Shoujo's ?

Neon Vanguard
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by Neon Vanguard » Sun Feb 05, 2012 7:27 pm

Good to hear that you're taking back your life.

Keep at it.

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Robnonymous
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by Robnonymous » Sun Feb 05, 2012 11:31 pm

Caesius wrote:I teared up a little reading this, to be honest.

Thank you for sharing, and good luck in the future.
This.

I know I should probably be getting used to all the "KS changed my life/helped me" stories, but every new one makes me smile. It sounds stupid since I'm just a random stranger on the internet but it makes me proud of 4LS.
Bad Dreams (Hanako) - My first KS fanfic. it's actually a happy story
Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story) - My second KS fanfic. Not all that happy.

Raumulus
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by Raumulus » Sun Feb 05, 2012 11:59 pm

Best of luck to you, man. Way to bounce back.

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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by PineTrees » Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:11 am

Man, I love these things. I love how the stories in this VN are powerful enough to help people look at things in their lives and help them work through and overcome them.
Best of luck in the future.

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yipyapper
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by yipyapper » Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:37 am

Not to kill the moment but I think this should be in the feedback section.
"OH GAWD MY DRILLS"
...What? Not a real quote? Oh well, it's Yipyapper's quote now.
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gRaViJa
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by gRaViJa » Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:04 am

Thanks for the replies everyone. Gives me strength to take on the world again after all this time!
Emi's Couch to 5k
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gRaViJa
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by gRaViJa » Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:31 pm

I'm not going to make a blog out of this thread (if i decide to post more about my life, i'll do it in a more appropriate thread/format whatever). Anyway, look like i'm still going to go on with my plan to take my life in my own hands again. I decided the following things:

* A girl asked if i'm interested to join some sort of an art club that mostly organizes art related events for teenagers (club is not school related, but people there are around my age... and are almost all girls ^^). I was always interested in art, but never got myself to really make a hobby out of it. Normally i'd say "Hmm, maybe", but now i have decided i should just do it. it's a chance to see how much i like art, how i can help organize stuff and it will certainly give me a chance to meet new people.

* Start doing a sport again. Before what happened that happened (see original post) I've been an avid sporter. I was doing gymnastics and table tennis on a competitive level. That has been years ago though. I didn't become fat or anything since then, but i did stop sporting and my shape now is terrible. The sports i'm considering the most now are badminton and fighting sports . Mainly judo, but also considering Hapkido, Karate and even Taekwondo (happens to be a club close to where i live). Any other proposals are welcome. (Sorry Emi, i never considered myself as a half decent running athlete ^^)

* Also, i haven't decided on this yet, but i'm considering to study one year longer. With the degree i have now, i should only study one year longer to get a degree to become a teacher as well. (still have to look at details about this). Becoming a teacher wasn't my first choice in life, but i want to explore the earth together with my brother. Believe me, it's an experience if you are 16/17 and travel through China, Russia and the US (which i did). I stopped however doing that after again, what happened with my girlfriend at the time. I realized that with a job in ICT (what i am studying for now untill this summer) I'll probaply end up in a stressful job (but probaply well payed) with almost no vacation. That's not what i want in my life at least for the next 5 years or so. My brother is also a teacher and he has 2 months of vacation every summer to spend exploring the earth. In my head, it sounds much better, for at least a period in my life. What should i do with this? Even if i just do teh extra year, i dont HAVE to become a teacher, but it keeps the option open then, right?

* Lastly, i'm considering that i should tell about my girlfriend and what happened to her and what effect it had on me, to my parents and brother. I think that if i go through with these plans, my family will want to know why this sudden turn of events and why that depressed period when i was around 18 and the period in between where i became less social and all. I think that my father mainly isn't just going to say that he finds it okay to study an extra year (i'm already 22 after all). I don't feel like i'm ready to tell about it, yet. But i do think i will be someday in the not-so-distant future.

I really could need some people saying "Go for it man!", to be honest :)
Emi's Couch to 5k
Completed!
6k personal record: 29m07
5k personal record: 27m48
1 mile personal record: 6m59

100 push-up challenge
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A Humbled Fan
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by A Humbled Fan » Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:35 pm

yipyapper wrote:Not to kill the moment but I think this should be in the feedback section.
*Moment Killed*

Thanks for sharing. Wish you the best of luck.

Also... "Go for it" :D

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Robnonymous
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by Robnonymous » Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:38 pm

Definitely go for it. They're your family, after all. Besides, it's never good to bottle up stuff like that. Eventually it starts to feel like you're doing something "wrong," which only makes everything harder.
Bad Dreams (Hanako) - My first KS fanfic. it's actually a happy story
Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story) - My second KS fanfic. Not all that happy.

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gRaViJa
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by gRaViJa » Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:54 pm

I never felt guilty for not telling, to be honest. It was a choice i made back then, as it was the only choice i could make (well that's what i felt like). I feel like i have already taken a big step by telling about it to the girl who had a crush on me and on this forum. Something really did change after playing KS. Thing i'm thinking about most now is if i should take that extra year of study. How i imagine it now, my dad will not accept it, i'll be forced to explain everything what i told here and up feeling bad again.

Somehow, i feel fairly comfortable writing this here, maybe i should take up blogging too? But then again, not a single soul would read it if i didn't post it on an awesome forum like this one. Is there a place on this forum where blogging is allowed?

Thanks for the comments, dudes (and dudettes).
Emi's Couch to 5k
Completed!
6k personal record: 29m07
5k personal record: 27m48
1 mile personal record: 6m59

100 push-up challenge
Week 7: 25/25/25/25

Zeon Twilight
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Re: Did KS change my life? Yes, a little. And here's why.

Post by Zeon Twilight » Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:36 pm

Katawa Shoujo has been the catalyst for many people getting up and taking hold of their lives. I feel like that is one of the most important messages the game brings. I haven't been effected by it as profoundly as a lot of people, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't effected. I'm happy to see so many people get some positive changes in their life because of this game.

Also, go for it man, They are family, If you can't tell them, who can you tell right? I'm sure they will understand, it's probably something they have been wondering about for awhile.

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