Hanako has infected my subconscious

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TheKingOfFacade
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Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by TheKingOfFacade » Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:59 am

Three weeks. Three weeks is the last time I played Katawa Shoujo. It was at that time where I had completed Hanako's good end and had nor do I still have no intention to play another other route.

The first week after playing was similar to how other people have described theirs; Lack of appetite, complete loss of sexual urges, painful realisations. After that first week everything seemed to revert to how it usually was (This had happened to times prior with Videa Games, the first being with the ending to MGS4 and the second being NIER), but for the last week i've been able to dream of nothing else but Hanako, not even dreams of a sexual nature, but merely spending time with her. It depresses me that 8-10 hours sleep only equates to what feels like a 10-15 minute semi concsious understanding of what i'm actually dreaming about.

My waking moments are terrible, waking up alone in a cold house, the sudden realisation thay it will most likely stay that way (I'm completely introverted, I feel that I don't look half bad but my complete lack of confidence stops me from speaking to anyone that isn't a relative, my best friend or people over the internet that no nothing about me). I wish I could forget it, completely. Just go back to how I was before, wasting away in front of a computer and I thought I had done, until I start to think, which seems to be one of my greatest negatives (I tend to overthink things to extreme levels).

I found solace in the fact that other people were experiencing this as well but I just don't know how to handle it. I mean even this thread, only half of it is relevent to the subject whilst the other is simply telling you my problems.

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dunkelfalke
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by dunkelfalke » Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:16 am

*sigh*
Can't help you there, can only tell you how I handled it - practically everything you've written would apply to me as well.
Well, it seems like I was able to catch myself, though, thanks to Emi's route. She gave me the drive to start doing sports again, to bring back some order in my life... and everything else will follow in its own time, or so I hope.
The labyrinth of memories that is killing me

tony246
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by tony246 » Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:19 am

I know how you feel man, or at least I get the feeling that I sort of know how you feel. I'm currently going through self evaluation and wonder.

Maybe we should start a KS Anonymous group.
I'm not good with this sort of thing, so I"m just going to say it here:
Thank you, Four Leaf Studios.

That is all.

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newnar
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by newnar » Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:33 am

To me, the fact that I actually enjoy KS is a realisaton to myself that I'm just a social retard in the real world, having to make use of virtual relationships to fuel my empty life.It's like Hisao realising he can't chase after Lilly without getting a heart attack. I know I love this game, but I also know that because I love this game, it shows that I'm that far from what I want to be able to achieve in relationships. Liking something probably means you're never gonna get there. That's why it's fiction, beautiful fiction, yet fiction nevertheless. Chasing after such fiction just reminds me how deprived I actually am. I feel sick about myself, even. What kind of mentally perverted asshole I must be, to get attracted to such unreal fantasies and be unable to release myself from its grasps?
I am a guy.
I sometimes talk like Rin Tezuka.
I am in love with Hanako Ikezawa.
NoOne3 wrote:Imagine a male Rin who secretly likes Hanako.
this
YES I AM. DEAL WITH IT.

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dunkelfalke
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by dunkelfalke » Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:45 am

J.R.R. Tolkien said once, about escapism,

"Why should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home? Or if, when he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics than jailers and prison-walls?"
The labyrinth of memories that is killing me

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Tomate
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Location: São Paulo, Brazil.

Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by Tomate » Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:02 am

Cant Relate.

Most routes are uplifting, its about conquering difficulties.

Katawa Shoujo made me think about my life, about the good old times back in school, about some friends who left about my father (who died some 8 years ago), it made me think about lots of things. But all this thinking about the past didn't make me sad, it made me more determined, more inspired to live my life.
My waking moments are terrible, waking up alone in a cold house, the sudden realisation thay it will most likely stay that way (I'm completely introverted, I feel that I don't look half bad but my complete lack of confidence stops me from speaking to anyone that isn't a relative, my best friend or people over the internet that no nothing about me). I wish I could forget it, completely. Just go back to how I was before, wasting away in front of a computer and I thought I had done, until I start to think, which seems to be one of my greatest negatives (I tend to overthink things to extreme levels).
I'm also a introverted, been one since the glorious day i was born. But when i was a teen i learned a precious lesson: what people think about you doesn't really matter. So you want to meet someone, don't want to be alone? Go on, talk to someone, maybe you stutter or make a fool of yourself, so what? Someone will think that you are a fool, so you move on.

I not very good at giving advices, specially to someone i don't even know, but there you go.
Don't just eat that hamburger, eat the HELL out of it!

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MrJackFrost
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by MrJackFrost » Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:17 pm

TheKingOfFacade wrote:The first week after playing was similar to how other people have described theirs; Lack of appetite, complete loss of sexual urges, painful realisations. After that first week everything seemed to revert to how it usually was (This had happened to times prior with Videa Games, the first being with the ending to MGS4 and the second being NIER), but for the last week i've been able to dream of nothing else but Hanako, not even dreams of a sexual nature, but merely spending time with her. It depresses me that 8-10 hours sleep only equates to what feels like a 10-15 minute semi concsious understanding of what i'm actually dreaming about.
I see... So it's not only me who got these symptoms. *deep thoughts* Well, I got those feeling after playing Emi and Rins' routes. But, now I'm very grateful for having those feelings. I mean, it gave you a chance to reflect your life and everything about it. Emis' route have the greatest impact for me since I did what Emi did to my "closest" ones. Yeah, after reflecting and everything else, I managed to re conciliate with them and finally, for the first time in these 4 years, I feel that I have changed into a better man.

So, it's mainly about how you manage this opportunities. As Rin said, sometimes you have to "destroy" yourself in order to be better (or just change, maybe). This kind of feeling, I say is one of those "complete destruction" moment (I locked my self in my room for two days not wanting my family knew what happened to me T-T). Good luck, my friend. :)
dunkelfalke wrote:*sigh*
Can't help you there, can only tell you how I handled it - practically everything you've written would apply to me as well.
Well, it seems like I was able to catch myself, though, thanks to Emi's route. She gave me the drive to start doing sports again, to bring back some order in my life... and everything else will follow in its own time, or so I hope.
Me too. Especially after I realize that many of my trousers didn't fit anymore. T-T
Carpo diem! -- Seize the day!

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CNB
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by CNB » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:22 pm

Regular physical exercise and a healthy diet really are pretty good for feeling better about yourself. You don't even have to go running or hit the gym; if your goal is just to be healthier there's plenty of stuff you can do without touching a single piece of equipment or even leaving your room. The biggest hurdle is making it past the first couple weeks, but once it becomes a habit it feels good both because your body's getting in shape, and because you were able to stick with it.

themocaw
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by themocaw » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:59 pm

Two words: Forward Momentum. Newton's first law applies to life as well as physics.

If you're feeling in a rut, start small. Resolve to talk to one person you've never talked to before this week. Baby steps.

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Rivan
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by Rivan » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:42 pm

Tomate wrote:Cant Relate.

Most routes are uplifting, its about conquering difficulties.

Katawa Shoujo made me think about my life, about the good old times back in school, about some friends who left about my father (who died some 8 years ago), it made me think about lots of things. But all this thinking about the past didn't make me sad, it made me more determined, more inspired to live my life.
My waking moments are terrible, waking up alone in a cold house, the sudden realisation thay it will most likely stay that way (I'm completely introverted, I feel that I don't look half bad but my complete lack of confidence stops me from speaking to anyone that isn't a relative, my best friend or people over the internet that no nothing about me). I wish I could forget it, completely. Just go back to how I was before, wasting away in front of a computer and I thought I had done, until I start to think, which seems to be one of my greatest negatives (I tend to overthink things to extreme levels).
I'm also a introverted, been one since the glorious day i was born. But when i was a teen i learned a precious lesson: what people think about you doesn't really matter. So you want to meet someone, don't want to be alone? Go on, talk to someone, maybe you stutter or make a fool of yourself, so what? Someone will think that you are a fool, so you move on.

I not very good at giving advices, specially to someone i don't even know, but there you go.
I also cannot exactly relate nor sympathize with that attitude.

I finished Lilly's route first (she's currently tied for my favorite girl), and I cannot say I'm worse off because of it.
While I do feel slight twinges of pain and loneliness at realizing how well someone's relationship may develop under right circumstances, while for me it always seems to be so hard to even start and so bad when it comes to and abrupt end, it basically helped me improve my optimism. It also made me realize that while nobody is perfect and even more so, no two people can be perfect for each other, sometimes it comes pretty damn close, and more importantly it furthered my already existing suspicion that "not perfect is good". Excellent, even. I felt better for having completed the route and realized how much open-ended something like a future is, and, ironically, how much easier than I thought it could be to shape even if I try to do it while being laid-back. It made me much calmer than I usually am, and while I have to say my newfound calm and laid-back attitude interfered with my studies for a while and even threatened to ruin my work I've done for the rest of the semester, in the end everything turned out all right and I feel this started a process of making me a little more mature.

I have to say that nothing changed about it when I went on to play other girl's paths, and in fact, having a slightly more detached attitude with them than I had with Lilly helped me observe more flaws of my own perceptions and my own personality and made me realize how they may be resolved. Rin's good ending even furthered the existing feeling of calm and freedom that, surprisingly, makes me feel good about myself even though I get scolded by my parents.

I wasn't touched extremely deeply as some did by Katawa Shoujo especially since I've probably spoiled some things unintentionally for myself while playing it (not much, though), but I have to say it actually made me one step closer to both maturity and hapiness.

I guess we can all get affected in different ways by the game. I guess it also doesn't help that I'm so good at predicting what I should do to get a girl's good ending in these games (exception : Rin, though despite my getting her bad ending first didn't ruin anything and flipping a coin to solve some problems proved weirdly effective), and that I never had to endure the dissapointment of getting my favorite's girl bad ending first (except for Rin), but I feel better for having played, rather than being more depressed.
Progress : Lilly - finished (Good ending), Hanako - finished (good ending), Rin - finished (Good ending), Shizune - finished (Bad ending), Emi - Finished (good ending)

Lilly=Rin > Hanako > Emi=Misha > Shizune

jsc_tidus
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by jsc_tidus » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:45 pm

Fuh.. trying to avoid some spoilers up there :lol: ^

TIME

find something else mate.. Good VN like this will also have its own plus side, appreciate your life before its too late. Its like a reminder :lol:

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Rivan
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by Rivan » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:50 pm

jsc_tidus wrote:Fuh.. trying to avoid some spoilers up there :lol: ^

TIME

find something else mate.. Good VN like this will also have its own plus side, appreciate your life before its too late. Its like a reminder :lol:
I actually tried my best not to spoil. I just revealed girls had bad and good endings and how I felt about them. I hope I didn't spoil anything... If I did, sorry.
Progress : Lilly - finished (Good ending), Hanako - finished (good ending), Rin - finished (Good ending), Shizune - finished (Bad ending), Emi - Finished (good ending)

Lilly=Rin > Hanako > Emi=Misha > Shizune

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A Humbled Fan
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Location: California

Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by A Humbled Fan » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:55 pm

My advice to you:

Find something that you enjoy doing and stick with it. And if you don't have anything like that, then go find something, even if it means breaking out of your shell!

jsc_tidus
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Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by jsc_tidus » Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:20 am

Rivan wrote:
jsc_tidus wrote:Fuh.. trying to avoid some spoilers up there :lol: ^

TIME

find something else mate.. Good VN like this will also have its own plus side, appreciate your life before its too late. Its like a reminder :lol:
I actually tried my best not to spoil. I just revealed girls had bad and good endings and how I felt about them. I hope I didn't spoil anything... If I did, sorry.
Managed to avoid it though, no worries mate! ^_^
TS should try to play the game throughly, each characters with their own good & bad endings, see it as a whole unique idea. Novels are still novels, a game is still a game. Get a grip, finish the game, enjoy it..

Nekken

Re: Hanako has infected my subconscious

Post by Nekken » Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:05 pm

Play the other routes. You're in too deep, and you need some distance; the other routes will help to establish that.

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