Post
by Ph33rles » Sun Feb 05, 2012 1:49 am
Hey all,
I've been trying to figure out how to say what I've wanted to about KS, and its been rather tough to talk to...well anyone about it. My Gamer friends have pretty much all gone "That's not really a game, tl;dr" and my manga friends don't know why there are choices and such and when I try to explain it without genre the say "Oh my god! Sex with cripples? You pervert." to which I've basically given up trying to talk to anyone in real life about it. (And these are the people that claim to be against prejudice. Feh.)
However I wanted to put this down somewhere, and who knows maybe the devs or someone will read it, or it may get lost forever.
Pretty much since I first started playing through it, KS has been on my mind a lot. The first play through I couldn't figure out where the save was until about 3 hours in so I really was agonizing about every decision and basically tried to take every decision as I would. I'm pretty happy with the way that one turned out but that's neither here nor there.
As I went back and started going through the other stories, I wondered why I was so hooked on it. I went through the Emi ending where you apologize on the track before going to the graveyard and it was literally heart wrenching and I must have re-watched that scene 5 or 6 times. I've read good books, read good visual novels as well, but this all hit me hard.
I suppose in the first playthrough reacting the way I would to each decision Hisao ended up reflecting me quite a lot, and to that I congratulate all the writers and whoever principally wrote the Emi line. But there's been something more, with each time I think about it, I know there's more to it.
It hit me today, just after I woke up (I had finished Hanako's line last night). I've always been a pity gatherer, one of those people not to tout achievements but lament everything they do wrong. One of those humble to the point of simply self deprecating. And yeah I'm probably in the bottom half of the population when it comes to hardships in life, but nothing like any character in this game has. And they are all there, smiling, nobody throwing their own pity party, nobody saying woe is me.
And like a freight train running over me, I asked myself, "What the hell am I doing?" I've had some tough times, but I have all four limbs, I have never been in an orphanage, I'm all my senses (though I'm not far from Kenji in eyesight), and I'm healthy enough to not being constantly in fear of dying. How can I complain?
Moreover, how can I not be happy? Granted I'm well past school, but it should be so hard for these girls and Hisao to be happy, and yet there they are laughing, smiling, living probably moreso than I am. And I need to find that. I will somehow find that.
So I suppose at the end of the day I wanted to thank you, all of you. Not just for this labor of love that is a wonderful visual novel, but for possibly even saving me from myself. I hope this finds its way to the eyes and ears of those of you who worked on it. With everything I am, thank you.