Meeting the Parents...

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boredism
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Meeting the Parents...

Post by boredism » Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:54 am

How are you suppose to react when your ,in this case, son brings home a girl with an exceptionality?
I can sort of guess how the girls may deal with it (I may be totally wrong but your guess is as good as mine)
I can see Lilly dealing with it being quite comfortable with her blindness and dealing with it with... elegance?
I can see Rin being so very unique and all, just not really care...
Shizune will most likely be slightly annoyed but deal with it in a somewhat comfortable fashion...
I feel bad for Hanako as she will most likely receive the worst reaction and being quite shy possibly be very unresponsive and freezing up...
Emi will most likely go for runs to sort things out and if she uses the more human looking prosthetic legs it could be eased in quite well...

But as a parent how would they react to them?
I assume the first reaction would be shock, awkwardness, pity, and continues with awkwardness, but how would you as a parent react to this?
Especially Hisao's parents, their son just got labelled less than a year ago and now has a girlfriend with a rather visible exceptionality.
I just do not see this going very well for some reason... unless they postpone the meeting so Hisao can ease it in as slowly...
or else it feels like it might end with elopement...


Slightly Unrelated Fun Facts from an Exceptionalities Support Worker!

Handicapped is actually very politically incorrect, it is actually a taboo word, the Person's With Disabilities (PWD) groups associates it with Cap in Hand, referencing the people on the streets with their caps in hand begging for money... so Handicapped is sort of calling the person, for a lack of a better word, a beggar... though I highly doubt many people know this as it is everywhere and it really annoys Special Education departments... (though in truth Handicap is derived from Hand in Cap, a bartering game that allowed two people to trade goods)
Disabled is also phased out cause the prefix Dis- means not Able meaning capable, so it means these people are not capable,
Impairment is also phased out due to negative connotation...
Special Needs is currently acceptable but has a very large chance of being phased out soon...
So now they are using a new word, Exceptionality, and incorporating Genius, Talented, and Bright people into it so it sound more positive, with less of a negative connotation...
Then there is the correct form, the Person's First Language, you cannot say exceptional people, blind person, mute girl, etc. with the exceptionality defining the person, instead you have to put it after, so people with exceptionalities, person who is blind, girl that is mute...
Ah... the many many rules... and they will most likely change again in the near future...

JustAGuy
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by JustAGuy » Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:17 am

I don't know about the careful wording. I think the heart's in the right place, but it could be taken as a little patronizing to treat such persons with such delicateness. Every person who fits whatever definition will react to it differently in any case, though; they're people too.

Onto the original point of the thread, my parents wouldn't take it very well in most cases. They're great people, but the most they would do is hide their tension and pretend to not notice before talking about it the instant the girl's gone. Might be a side-effect of their traditional mentality.
Hanako, Rin, and Emi would lead to some awkwardness, but if it was Lilly or Shizune they'd probably be fine.

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Rolanberry
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by Rolanberry » Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:38 am

This...is a tough question.

My mother is from a deep backwards part of the south so no matter who I bring home for her to meet she wouldn't like unless she was the same race as me. Even then she's have a problem if she where to 'dark'. I'm positive if I brought a girl home who had some kind of disability I'd get alot of flack.

With a girl like Lilly or Shizune my mom would ask terrible and insensitive questions (maybe it be a good thing Shizune can't hear them).

A girl like Rin or Emi...oh man that would be terrible. My mother would probably great her by saying "you've got no arms/legs!!" and then a barrage of very very bad questions.

Hanako? it be best for all parties involved if my mother never met her. Thats all I can say about that.

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Palas
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by Palas » Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:43 am

Hanako, actually, is a rather curious girl and the fact that the guy has a complete and stable family might pique her interest or make her badly depressed. She wouldn't be comfortable either way, naturally, but if she did get curious she might as well trust you more if you handle it properly.
While we are here discussing, Hanako is somewhere hopping from dark to darker tiles. Alone.

purple haired Katawa Shoujo character

Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by purple haired Katawa Shoujo character » Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:51 am

My parents would discuss any concern they have in private with me, but they wouldn't say anything directly to the girl. I think they would be cool with it if it were any disability. Even if it were Hanako. (Although they would certainly talk to me about that in private).They're rather accepting people, overall. There wouldn't be much problem and they know it isn't their place to comment on who I date.

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FrozenKimchi
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by FrozenKimchi » Fri Jan 13, 2012 4:14 am

At first, I would note it of course
it's something you don't see everyday

I would be accepting as long as the relationship is healthy and my child and the girl/boy both love each other.
My parents wouldn't accept me having relationships with a "disabled" person though
since they believe in the "pure, strong race"

However, the biggest obstacle would be the fact that I'm planning to be a genetic researcher that specializes in stem cells
stem cells can do freaky things like grow functioning eyes, fingers, skin etc.
It would be awkward for me to talk about my profession with the disabled person
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KeWano
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by KeWano » Fri Jan 13, 2012 4:43 am

I don't know really, it all depends on the person. My mom would be all cool with it, stating that all love is good love. She would be surprised of course, and maybe ask me in private if she wanted to know anything, but I don't think it would be all to much of a problem. The problem lies in my father and my youngest sister. My father is a bit of a rascist, and maybe a little disapproving of a "disabilited" girl, maybe even be mad at me for dating such a girl (Yep, my father is a douche in that kind of sense). My youngest sister is all-to-much straight forward, and probably blurt out something about the disabilty, and ask many questions directly. I would probably tell them in advance, but I don't know.

Rin wouldn't be a problem. Even if my father would be disapproving of her and my sister would blurt out things like "Why do you have no arms?", I don't think Rin would really care. Just how Rin is.

Emi is about the same, maybe she would've been a little upset about it, but then again, not too much of a big problem.

Lilly is blind, and she's really elegant, and my father wouldn't have a problem with that, since she isn't "defect" (like Hanako, Emi or Rin). Lilly would probably have been the most accepted in my family from the get-go.

Shizune about the same as Lilly, just that I would probably have to translate everything back and forth (implying that I know sign language).

Hanako would have had a really bad time... My father would dissaprove of her, probably stare at her scars all the time, with a look of disgust. My sister would also do the same, and ask stupid questions. Hanako would probably be the only case in which I must absolutely tell my family to be a little laid back about how she looks.

But I would be proud, since showing the girl I love to my parents isn't something I would regret. They would've met her sometime anyway. In the end, my family is quite accepting. She I wouldn't fear much.
"I’m trying to experience. People probably don’t do this enough." -Rin Tezuka.

RedDawningSky
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by RedDawningSky » Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:32 am

I think with my parents, it really wouldn't go badly at all. They're actually really liberal and try hard to accept all other kinds of people. Probably if I hadn't told them about it beforehand they'd just act like normal, maybe being overly friendly (especially my mum) and just generally avoiding the subject. They definitely wouldn't just mention it out of nowhere or anything. It'd be kind of awkward because they wouldn't really know what to do, but as we got to settle down and talk a bit they'd relax a lot more. And then afterwards my mum would probably ask me about it and I'd tell her about it - just like how to react and all - and she'd listen really carefully and pay attention for next time. She might accidentally say something ableist as a joke because she's nervous, but she probably wouldn't around the girl/guy. My dad wouldn't bring it up, but he'd listen to everything I said seriously and would take it on board.

I guess it'd depend, though - if it were Emi, they'd probably barely notice and be completely comfortable really quickly, given that her disability is less obvious and she's just so friendly and outgoing in general. If it were Hanako, I think they'd reflect her discomfort and shyness and be kinda like that themselves.

If I were the parent, I think I'd be pretty similar. I'd try to act as normal as possible, and I wouldn't be too uncomfortable or anything. (I'm not all that good with social situations I'm not used to, though, so I would be kind of awkward.) I wouldn't avoid the subject so much, I'm bring it up if I needed to ask a question or something, but I'd probably feel really weird and kinda bad doing it and it would take me a while to get used to it. And as soon as they left I'd get straight on the internet and learn as much as possible on the subject.

Flammz
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by Flammz » Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:37 am

I think my parents wouldn't care too much. I wouldn't know where I'd find a girl with an exceptionality, though, haha.
I know a girl that knows sign language out of boredom. Does that count? ~Whahaha.

konoa
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by konoa » Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:23 am

My mom would try to act as normal as possible. She majored in special education and my dad had a very bad disability so were not judgmental about other people around our house.

If i was the parent in this situation i would handle it reasonably well. Or, at least as well as someone who is incredibly socially awkward in every possible way can. Because i am very very bad at meeting new people in general.

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txalolrn9
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by txalolrn9 » Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:28 am

Makes me sad thinking about how Hisao's parents would react to seeing Hanako :(

Makes me love her even more :( :( :( :(
It only hurts when I breathe

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encrypted12345
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by encrypted12345 » Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:50 am

Hmm.... My mom's a nurse, so it wouldn't outright shock her. She might be slightly troubled, but that will probably be more for my sake than the girl being disabled since she's a bit overprotective. I don't see things going too bad with any of the girls.

My dad, however... His heart's in the right place, but he seems naive at times. Almost to the point of being inconsiderate. Something as obvious as Rin's armlessness or Hanako's scars would bring out the most shocking reaction out of him. He's was in the army, so his reaction wouldn't be nearly as bad as other people's would, but nevertheless, it'll be difficult.

My little sister, being 8, has a good heart, but tends to pity unfortunate people which would annoy at least some of the girls

Lilly would be the easiest to blend in with my family since she's so classy and all. Even she might get annoyed by my family's questions though. Emi wouldn't be too bad off either. My mom would probably notice her prosthetic legs, but wouldn't bring it up until I did. Rin would just be Rin. I think my little sister would like to play with her. As for Shizune... let's just say I'll have to use some liberal translation. This is more because of personality issues than anything else. :lol: Hanako would have the hardest time, being stared at and pitied.

If I was the parent ... I'll probably act like how I would I would normally act like if my future son brought home a girlfriend. Relentlessly troll him and embarrass him while trying to get to know the girl. I would act a bit awkward, but that's mostly due to my shyness.

Zay

Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by Zay » Fri Jan 13, 2012 2:09 pm

Hmm...
I think my parents would be absolutely fine with me bringing home a differently-abled person... As long as the person was of the opposite gender and of their own religion!
I got a lot of grief from them about my partner, who is atheist... especially the fact that we live together without getting married for many years.

My parents are a bit of a dichotomy, very open minded in some places, and completely closed in others.
Exceptionalities and different races are totally cool with them... homosexuality and different religions are not.

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imperial.standard
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by imperial.standard » Fri Jan 13, 2012 2:19 pm

Zay wrote: My parents are a bit of a dichotomy, very open minded in some places, and completely closed in others.
Sometimes having principles means sticking to it even if the world think it is wrong :?

In my own case, my family is a bit of an old (rather aristocratic) one so bringing someone disabled would be bound to have whispers and comments flakked at me. My girlfriend (soon to be fiancee) is only slightly shorter than average stature and this alone has generated so many comments and "advice" that can fill up an entire encyclopedia. I am sure my parents meant well (given the consideration they were raised on the belief you have to marry your "equal" or "above") so this is nothing but just a small obstacle.
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"With words like these, we DON'T CURE patients, we make them INCURABLE"

Saint Peter Canisius, S.J., on polemical attacks against John Calvin & Melanchton

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techk8
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Re: Meeting the Parents...

Post by techk8 » Fri Jan 13, 2012 2:35 pm

I dunno. I'm expected to marry a hot sexy beautiful rich smart funny kind Korean girl.

I wish I was making this up.
techk8 wrote:In all honestly, I don't care if it's an OVA or a whole series; it needs to end with the Lilly Good End, damnit! IT'S FUCKING CANON AND I'LL TAKE THAT TRUTH TO THE GRAVE.
[10:59] <@cpl_crud> Penises aren't spoilers; they are just disappointing in general

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