If you *actually have* a physical disability, what is it?

[yure22]

I am technically epileptic , but my seizures are not provoked by light but by stress -__- , i am not joking last year (2011) i suffered one after my exams finished ¬_¬ , even though my epilepsy doesn`t affect my daily life , it makes me worry and sometimes cry over how my future will be , so i try not to get close to anyone for fear of having a seizure near them and hurting them emotionally .

[SeaweedSoup]

Reading through this thread, I realise how lucky I am...

I don't know how I would cope with living with some of those conditions...I don't think I could. I can't even begin to comprehend what daily life must be like. It's sad reading through the dialogue of KS but it really strikes me when I read through descriptions of disabilities and illnesses of real people. Why do these things have to happen? Especially to such nice people...It's not fair..

[chicunsu]

Reading through this thread, I realise how lucky I am...

I don't know how I would cope with living with some of those conditions...I don't think I could. I can't even begin to comprehend what daily life must be like. It's sad reading through the dialogue of KS but it really strikes me when I read through descriptions of disabilities and illnesses of real people. Why do these things have to happen? Especially to such nice people...It's not fair..

If you have one, then either you will be able to live with it... or you wouldn't be able to post anything here.
And it's interesting how you say "real people" as most people who would play KS but have no disability themselves would only look at everything as a "game" and not think anymore about it. But every character in KS might as well have been real, as every character background/disability is more than possible to have in reality, and many does have just the same problem in real life.

[Azrad]

Ankylosing spondylitis. Arthritis, more or less. My back is getting stiffer as I get older until the point where it's completely rigid. Can be controlled with meds, though. It doesn't stop the daily back and neck aches. Several other joint pains as well; had to walk with a cane a few years back for support. Sometimes my back hurts when I breathe, which is usually my unlucky day, ache-wise.

It kinda sounds amusing, but I do owe the game for helping me find a few ideas on dealing with my physical issues. It began before the demo was out, but I started playing during a time when I was trying to figure out my own future, regarding the ankylosing spondylitis. Now that the game is done, I guess I could say that I've reached a end to a chapter in my life. My own issues regarding my worries have been over for a while, some things have been accepted, and now I finished the game.

Thanks to all who made this. Writing is my passion, and I'm mindblown by both the story, and how the whole game got developed. I'm currently writing an article to post in a website, about this game, ha ha ha... I guess I'll show it here when I'm done.

[INFERTakuya]

No idea if asthma mild enough to not cause attacks is considered a physical disability. Or maybe I just grew out of it so quickly I never got to experience an attack; something I am grateful for.

...or maybe I haven't completely grown out of it yet. I have to breathe in really deeply to actually feel like I'm taking in sufficient oxygen. Still no attacks, though I would prefer not to try to trigger an attack by living in an excessively allergen-filled area.

[Kyou_kun]

Doubt it counts but, I have an extreme case of Eczema.

It gets so bad some days that my whole necks starts to bleed and other days it feels like I don't have it at all. It also seems to very sharply decrease my vision (which is bad already). So I have to wear glasses most of the time.

7 years of going to doctors hasn't really helped :/

[Guest]

I have a heart condition,it's rather irritating than dangerous,say if I stand up too quickly or I do a sudden movement my heart starts beating like a tribal drum and I go weak to the knees and feel dizzy.
It takes quite some time for it to go away,because of it I always get tired more quickly,I can basically be in full form,but if my problem strikes in I'm as good as a wet tissue.
The medic told me it's because I barely move,although it's not like I don't occasionally do stretches and such.
I'm rather worried that this is a kind of start for Arrythmia...

[chicunsu]

Doubt it counts but, I have an extreme case of Eczema.

It gets so bad some days that my whole necks starts to bleed and other days it feels like I don't have it at all. It also seems to very sharply decrease my vision (which is bad already). So I have to wear glasses most of the time.

7 years of going to doctors hasn't really helped :/

Eczema counts, especially if it's a severe one, as yours seems to be some times. As i'm guessing it really affects your life.

Especially if you have visits to doctor's regularly

I have a heart condition,it's rather irritating than dangerous,say if I stand up too quickly or I do a sudden movement my heart starts beating like a tribal drum and I go weak to the knees and feel dizzy.
It takes quite some time for it to go away,because of it I always get tired more quickly,I can basically be in full form,but if my problem strikes in I'm as good as a wet tissue.
The medic told me it's because I barely move,although it's not like I don't occasionally do stretches and such.
I'm rather worried that this is a kind of start for Arrythmia...

I don't have a heart condition, but i've had some problems that seems like asthma or flu and it's been going on forever. It's been mostly irritating, but lately the problem has been escalating, everyone at home and at work is starting to get kinda worried, as i'm not only lightly coughing, but really coughing now.
Before i could easily use my bike everywhere, but whenever it goes uphill now, i have to walk, since if i use my bike, i'll be out of breath, even if i only use it the last 5-10m of it. and it will take like 5-10 minutes before i catch my breath again. Considering i use bike everywhere, so is this really annoying, and slows me down alot.
First, my doctor wasn't that worried, since it never was anything serious, but as it has been so long and getting more serious, he said last time i was at a check-up (2 weeks ago) that if the medicine i got this time didn't solve it, then we really have to go in and find the problem (I'm writing this as i'm coughing), so i'm really wondering what it could be...

[hobblinharry]

To put it simply, I was born without feet. There's a little more to explain but that's the easiest way to put it, so I've worn prosthetic legs all my life. I'm 25 now.

Here are my thoughts on this game. I am not a fan of anime or manga or anything like that. I used to watch Toonami on Cartoon Network and that's about the extent of my knowledge when it comes to things like this. Someone I know on the internet told me about this game a couple of years ago since they knew I wore fake legs. I didn't really follow development but I kept the website bookmarked and would check every couple months to see when a release date would come out. I played the Act 1 demo which was well put together in my opinion but I was eager to play the full thing. So the release finally came around and I just finished every ending of every girl. I must say I really liked the whole thing. I didn't like Emi's the most which some people might think since we have the same disability.

Anyway, what I want to say is that, even though I really enjoyed this game and the characters and the writing, I didn't find myself become really attached to any of the girls. I've seen a lot of people chime in that they've gotten very emotional at this game, and hey that's fine, I'm not here to judge. Hell I cried when Aeries died in Final Fantasy VII. Anyway, I guess what I'm getting at, is I don't think I felt any "extra special sweet romance" connections to any of these characters because I actually have a disability. I'm mostly thinking aloud because I don't know anyone else with disabilities. I did not attend a school like the one in the game and as far as I know in America schools like that don't even exist. I'm just wondering if anyone else who is disabled in a similar fashion to any of the characters in the game have the same opinion of me, that is, not feeling as attached to any of the girls as some or many other people have. It could be that I'm incapable at an emotional level, but like I said I cried for FF7 and I get emotional at the end of movies like Click.

I'm very interested in any direct responses to my question.I would have just started my own thread but this is my first post and I don't really know the etiquette on making threads here.

[Nightydreams]

You'll have to decide if this is a physical disablity yourself but to me it is a massive disability physically.

When I was 15 (rougly 4 years ago) I was assaulted from behind by a serial assaulter who clubbed me over the head with a steel pipe. I suffered massive trauma to my spine and he severe Tramumatic Brain Injury to the left side of my brain including my cerebrum. One of the major consequences of this attack was that I lost much of the fine motor skills in my entire left arm, causing it to sporadically spasm and I was unable to control it with any degree of finesse. If I wanted to move my arm left it would go through the notions of going up, then down, then spasm to the left and that was if I was lucky. My arm would also go through periods where it simply refused to mvoe and would hang limply by my side.

Physically this made it very hard for me to do much of anything, I could no longer cook without putting myself or others in danger, Much of the skill in sports I had built up over my life was suddenly rendered moot because I could not play with my flawed left arm, and I coud no longer play games with the prodigious skill I was famous for because even if I managed to grip the controls I would eventually lose the grip or fling it or press it randomly and without warning. But the most jarring change for me was that now I could no longer play music which was a huge part of my life, I was part of the orchestra in middle and high school, and was hoping to persue a career in performance music. Almost 10 years of piano, 6 years of cello and violin and my guitar. All of it was lost and even if I wanted to continue or forced myself it was impossible. My dream was crushed and the more I tried the more pathetic I looked.

I'd like to say I stayed cheerful and optimistic but in reality I quickly fell into a deep depression. I no longer felt any enjoyment in anything because almost everything I did would remind me of something I couldn't do. I surprise myself when I look back on it and realise I must have gone through 20 different emotions each day, ranging from envy to hate to self derision. I began to distance myself from others in an attempt to stave of my own feelings of regret. I thought that if I could not see them I could not envy them. I stubbornly tried to push away the doctors, the nurse, my friends, and eventually my own family.

This continued for about two years, and in that time I never really improved in any way. I seriously contemplated suicide multiple times but luckily I my fear of pain was still strong so I could never bring myself to do it. By now my circle of trusted people had shrunk down considerably. I think alot of them just didn't want to deal with me anymore. In hindsight they might not of been the true friends I thought they were but I was still at fault.

It took my family and my last few friends one big push to propel me out of the dark hole I had dug for myself the last couple of years. I think by that time I was already sick of being depressed aswell.

They helped me realise there are things out there I can still do, I still have my sight, my hearing, my sense of taste and smell and my sense of feeling.

I guess I threw my heart away so they went and found it, dusted it off and threw it back at me.

Now I'm studying to become of musician of a different kind. I want to compose music, If I can't play then I want others to play for me. I thought it sounded really selfish when I said it too.

Katawa Shoujo really hit home for me for this reason. It was less about dealing with the disablities as it was about dealing with the mental damage that comes along with it. It doesn't matter who you are or what your background is. Whether you are born with it or it is thrust upon you a disablity will come packaged with mental trauma. It can come in many forms;

Self-loathing,
descrimination,
loss of love,
loss of your reason to live,
pain.

Katawa Shoujo was about dealing with that, when I played as Hisao, I really thought "This is what my friends must have felt like, this is what my parents and sister must have gone through" and I become all the mroe grateful that I'm gone from that place and the old disgusting me has been blown away like ashes on the wind.

I see me in those girls, and it scares me.

But it also makes me very, very happy.

[chicunsu]

Now I'm studying to become of musician of a different kind. I want to compose music, If I can't play then I want others to play for me. I thought it sounded really selfish when I said it too.

Selfish? where is the selfish part in this? o.o
All i see is a great wish and a great choice, seriously good luck =)

This continued for about two years, and in that time I never really improved in any way. I seriously contemplated suicide multiple times but luckily I my fear of pain was still strong so I could never bring myself to do it. By now my circle of trusted people had shrunk down considerably. I think alot of them just didn't want to deal with me anymore. In hindsight they might not of been the true friends I thought they were but I was still at fault.

Lucky, my depression signs started back in 2nd grade, and it's still goin on to this day. i've had depression for 15 years now =|''

I could really comment on more of those things, but that would be going to personal xD

[Nightydreams]

Now I'm studying to become of musician of a different kind. I want to compose music, If I can't play then I want others to play for me. I thought it sounded really selfish when I said it too.

Selfish? where is the selfish part in this? o.o
All i see is a great wish and a great choice, seriously good luck =)

This continued for about two years, and in that time I never really improved in any way. I seriously contemplated suicide multiple times but luckily I my fear of pain was still strong so I could never bring myself to do it. By now my circle of trusted people had shrunk down considerably. I think alot of them just didn't want to deal with me anymore. In hindsight they might not of been the true friends I thought they were but I was still at fault.

Lucky, my depression signs started back in 2nd grade, and it's still goin on to this day. i've had depression for 15 years now =|''

I could really comment on more of those things, but that would be going to personal xD

Thankyou for taking time to read what I wrote. In a way I am quite selfish for wanting others to convey my feelings for me but thankyou for saying otherwise. It means alot to me.

I was lucky I could get out of the pits because while I was an exceptionally stubborn person back then, the true friends who stayed were equally if not more stubborn. Really that much stubborness in a room could cause anything to happen.

I really wish you the best in coming to terms with 'you', depression is not a place anyone deserves to be and I sincerely hope that you can grow and come out of that depression that much stronger. There is hope. You are here now and I can tell that you havn't given up yet. There is an exit my friend. and that exit leads to something brighter and more beautiful than you could possibly imagine.

[chicunsu]

Now I'm studying to become of musician of a different kind. I want to compose music, If I can't play then I want others to play for me. I thought it sounded really selfish when I said it too.

Selfish? where is the selfish part in this? o.o
All i see is a great wish and a great choice, seriously good luck =)

This continued for about two years, and in that time I never really improved in any way. I seriously contemplated suicide multiple times but luckily I my fear of pain was still strong so I could never bring myself to do it. By now my circle of trusted people had shrunk down considerably. I think alot of them just didn't want to deal with me anymore. In hindsight they might not of been the true friends I thought they were but I was still at fault.

Lucky, my depression signs started back in 2nd grade, and it's still goin on to this day. i've had depression for 15 years now =|''

I could really comment on more of those things, but that would be going to personal xD

Thankyou for taking time to read what I wrote. In a way I am quite selfish for wanting others to convey my feelings for me but thankyou for saying otherwise. It means alot to me.

I was lucky I could get out of the pits because while I was an exceptionally stubborn person back then, the true friends who stayed were equally if not more stubborn. Really that much stubborness in a room could cause anything to happen.

I really wish you the best in coming to terms with 'you', depression is not a place anyone deserves to be and I sincerely hope that you can grow and come out of that depression that much stronger. There is hope. You are here now and I can tell that you havn't given up yet. There is an exit my friend. and that exit leads to something brighter and more beautiful than you could possibly imagine.

Well...
There is some major differences:
I had 2 major friends:
One took suicide, i was in his funeral 23rd december, so now Christmas is kinda sad =|
Another one.... he's about to forget me, and he has never had any idea something is wrong...
And stubborn family? My family is so naive, they think "If i am to understand anything, then he has to tell me it" So, they are unable to understand anything if i don't tell them about it, and if i do tell them about it.... then they twist it and makes it into THEIR VERSION...

I'm here... because i have a rule... that rule is the one sole reason i'm here...
Anyway, music is my main therapy, and i can't imagine a life without it... and i GTG, i'm so lucky i can still play piano, and i have piano lessons in an hour

[catbag]

Burp. I've been drinking pretty heavily since KS's release.
This is my first (and probably last) post but I've been waiting anxiously since the release of Act I
for this game.

I was hospitalized a few years ago with a rare (possibly terminal?) blood condition. I can relate
to Hisao in a lot of ways because of this. I had friends drift away and I went through a lot of
changes. Maybe that's why I was drawn to this game. Maybe it's obvious stuff but a lot of little
details get to me; being aware of physical limitations and medication, reading in the hospital,
stuff like that is very real for me.

But the hardest thing I have experienced since my illness is the inability of other people to deal
with it. My sister developed a drinking problem and my parents were effected in many ways as well. It
was their choices but... you know. I also began dating a girl who I loved a lot but she left me. Said
she "didn't see a future with me." That was honestly harder to deal with than my illness. That's what's
interesting about KS for me. The themes of love overshadow the extreme physical difficulties the
characters have gone through, just as I have experienced firsthand.

I feel lucky that I have a condition that I can hide. I don't talk to anyone about it now, not even my
closest friends. It's hard to carry this burden alone. I've been dating a girl for 2 years now and she
doesn't know about me being sick. I think she would be supportive but... I can't take that risk, I can't
take the guilt of hurting people.

Maybe I like Katawa Shoujo because I wish I could meet someone on common ground. Maybe I want
to vicariously live through Hisao's character. It certainly makes me depressed to remember these
hard times. But Katawa Shoujo allows me to relive my experiences with numerous happy outcomes.
I know they aren't real, but at least this way I can feel some acceptance that I had never actually
received myself.

When I tell people "You should play Katawa Shoujo!" and describe the game I am consistently met with
"thats weird," "why would you play that?" etc. I think that's a natural reaction for most people. But if
you enjoy the game as I do, for whatever reason, I think it's because you understand what it's like to
be different in some substantial way.

I just wanted to make a long post because I've been drinking and because no one listens to me. If
I could just give one advice its: Traumatic experiences of the body are insignificant next to those of
the heart (and I mean like love) and unfortunately both seem to be unavoidable in life. Be humble,
keep your head up and stay positive.

That's it! Thanks Katawa Shoujo for making me feel again, it's been a long time!

[chicunsu]

Burp. I've been drinking pretty heavily since KS's release.
This is my first (and probably last) post but I've been waiting anxiously since the release of Act I
for this game.

I was hospitalized a few years ago with a rare (possibly terminal?) blood condition. I can relate
to Hisao in a lot of ways because of this. I had friends drift away and I went through a lot of
changes. Maybe that's why I was drawn to this game. Maybe it's obvious stuff but a lot of little
details get to me; being aware of physical limitations and medication, reading in the hospital,
stuff like that is very real for me.

But the hardest thing I have experienced since my illness is the inability of other people to deal
with it. My sister developed a drinking problem and my parents were effected in many ways as well. It
was their choices but... you know. I also began dating a girl who I loved a lot but she left me. Said
she "didn't see a future with me." That was honestly harder to deal with than my illness. That's what's
interesting about KS for me. The themes of love overshadow the extreme physical difficulties the
characters have gone through, just as I have experienced firsthand.

I feel lucky that I have a condition that I can hide. I don't talk to anyone about it now, not even my
closest friends. It's hard to carry this burden alone. I've been dating a girl for 2 years now and she
doesn't know about me being sick. I think she would be supportive but... I can't take that risk, I can't
take the guilt of hurting people.

Maybe I like Katawa Shoujo because I wish I could meet someone on common ground. Maybe I want
to vicariously live through Hisao's character. It certainly makes me depressed to remember these
hard times. But Katawa Shoujo allows me to relive my experiences with numerous happy outcomes.
I know they aren't real, but at least this way I can feel some acceptance that I had never actually
received myself.

When I tell people "You should play Katawa Shoujo!" and describe the game I am consistently met with
"thats weird," "why would you play that?" etc. I think that's a natural reaction for most people. But if
you enjoy the game as I do, for whatever reason, I think it's because you understand what it's like to
be different in some substantial way.

I just wanted to make a long post because I've been drinking and because no one listens to me. If
I could just give one advice its: Traumatic experiences of the body are insignificant next to those of
the heart (and I mean like love) and unfortunately both seem to be unavoidable in life. Be humble,
keep your head up and stay positive.

That's it! Thanks Katawa Shoujo for making me feel again, it's been a long time!

For most who don't how it is to be different, beind different scares them, and they don't like it. So they vent their anger on us that are different =|