If you *actually have* a physical disability, what is it?

[Walpurgisnacht]

When I was a child I got hit by a car while riding my bike, shattering my elbow. Today its being held together by bolts and pieces of metal, now my elbow doesn't bend properly, used to be pain but its alright now. Now I refuse to ride a bike. Also I rarely get migraines, because of some stupid shit I did as a kid.

[herp]

i was born with crab hands

[LordQ]

I have severe acne. There's some sort of scientific name for it, but I forget. Yeah, it doesn't really sound like much of a disability and I never took it seriously, but because of my not taking it seriously and washing my face regularly and not applying the administered creams at least once daily, they tended to get infected. Half my face became swolen at one point. I didn't care, but it wasn't fun to look at. Currently, I have to take meds four days a week, wash my face three times daily with special soap, and apply two different creams once daily each. The most troublesome part though is the mild acne that I've somehow developed on my back, chest and upper arms. It looks like a terrible rash all the time, even though it never hurts. I have to get someone to apply a prescribed cream to it every night. I won't be moving out any time soon. -_-

I don't see it as something that might get be admitted to Yamaku. It hasn't really changed my daily activities at least. People are generally polite and don't point out the (now rare due to medications) occasions when I have a really bad breakout.

[Rykn]

I pass out. A lot. It emerged early into High school and got to the point where I wasn't able to integrate or even get a basic education. Short story is one of my heart valves is goddamn retarded. It's been a few years and I'm working on my GED but I get hopeless at times. Life's a bitch. This visual novel actually makes me feel better... That's a little weird I guess.

[AshWullfer]

I almost loose my hearing ability.
Now i have only one who's working...an its geting worst and worst.
I almost didn't hear anithing...exept a hard sound. it make me sad that a can't hearing my vave song....

[Ubuyo]

Aortic stenosis (Wiki) for me. Not as lethal as arrythmia can be, but I still have to take care of myself, which is why I'm starting a diet this year.

[Saerain]

Three things, I suppose:

1. My vision is impaired enough that contact lenses do not exist that would enable me to get a driver's license. It has been possible through very expensive eyeglasses, but even at 25 that option is already retreating. LASIK treatments are advancing fast, though, and I'm told that it shouldn't be long before there is a viable solution for me.
2. Five years of anorexia, and eventually bulimia, fucked up my heart. Usually, it's not much to think about, but rarely, it can drop me like a brick. It only takes four seconds without a heartbeat to lose consciousness, so with how low my heart rate has always tended to be, it only takes a couple of skipped beats. Although technically life-threatening, my lifestyle (sans eating disorder) is a pretty good fit for a damaged heart, so this development hasn't really changed anything.
3. I suffer an occipital neuralgia of an unknown cause, possibly related to a hereditary neurological disorder that is currently wrecking my mother, but it's not certain. It's a debilitating pain (as in fall to the floor and do a writhy, screamy Gollum impression for a while) that stabs and gnaws at the base of my skull, without any discernible warning, trigger, or pattern. The unpredictability of just when and for how long I'll be doubled over like the result of an botched beheading has made it challenging, at best, to find work. This is the thing I'm least OK with.

That's quite enough of that.

[chicunsu]

Aspberger Syndrome....
My brain works kind of different, it's making some things really easy while other things really hard. My life was a lot like hanako's, and i've honestly been on the brink of suicide lots of times, but then one of my only friends did it before me... I hate to admit it, but that helped me from doing it.

The doctor's first diagnosed it as ADD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder/ADHD without the hyperactivity) but everyone thought it was wrong, and i just recently got it diagnosed as Aspberger instead. The main thing about Aspberger is Social Problems, as my thinking is really different from other people, i react in other ways, and i can't understand things that others understand.

Thanks to having the diagnose ADD instead of AS, my life was pretty much a living hell.... Normally, you get certain "benefits" at school etc. for making it easier for us that has it, but i got none of those. Which also caused mental problems as Moderate/Severe depressions. Things like this has no cure, so i know i will always be different from others.

And mentioning problems recognizing faces... i'm a perfect example, as i have really big problems when it comes to that, on a score of 1-100 i think i scored ~20... And yet my parents often asks when visiting "Do you see that person anywhere?" "(Uhmm, NO, you know i really can't recognize a face at all)".

Another normal problem is being unable to take choices and take the initiative. I can go shopping with mom, and she can ask what i want for dinner... I won't be able to answer, since i can't choose.

[ardiel]

I have some joint problems and arthritis, scoliosis, and some problems with my neck. Nobody really knows why. I also had tarsal coalition, where my foot bones fused together. It wasn't noticed until I was maybe 10 years old because my bones were still developing but eventually they hardened together and it became near impossible for me to walk without great pain so they had to go and cut all the bones apart again. I have problems with my wrists and fingers to a lesser degree.

I'm almost always stiff and some times it's ok but some days I get flareups especially if I've been sick or something and it becomes very painful to even walk, some times my neck catches when I turn my head and it gives me a shock like pain that makes me almost want to fall over, and some times my fingers don't want to work right, and I end up with back pain too.

It was annoying when I was young because I'd be in pain and be told that I'm too young to have problems like that... or that it's growing pains and I'll get better. They didn't figure out something was truly wrong until I was absolutely in tears trying to walk, then I got taken for xrays and found all these problems and ended up in surgery and then had to do therapy and all that. But honestly it really doesn't bother me that much except for the pains which obviously sucks. I'm still active though, it sounds like something but I just deal with it as much as I can.

[Deltamon]

I didn't vote on the poll, since even if I am short sighted with relatively strong glasses (I can see shapes without them, but I have to use them to get by in normal life), so I don't call it actual disability. Sure, it's made my life lot harder than it needed to be and when I was younger being quite small and having glasses made me easy target for bullying (not to mention how sensitive I used to be). Which then followed with a long time depression that's been part of my life for over 15 years by now (finally I'm able to try and work on the subject, but brain acts the strangest of the ways and even if I want to get better from my depression and do my best on trying to get more active with my life again.. It's just really hard after you have got used to hide from almost everything for years.)

So no matter how much I hate having to use glasses (I really like sports, but having glasses makes it more difficult for me, so I ended up choosing the e-sports in the end, I do still do some sports too, but I was never able to get into it as much as I wanted), and the fact that they might've played part in how my earlier life went. I still think that over that minor disability, it's actually what's inside me that's making things worse. Like let's say Hanako has very obvious scars on her body for rest of her life, but that's not her true disability. Her true disability is the traumatic experiences that he had after the fire, followed by panic disorders and very deep depression. So it's not really a surprise that I ended up choosing her for my own story, since I can really relate to her in so many ways.

But the more I think about it, the more I start to think how I have wasted almost 20 years of my life (I'm 25 now, and been bullied since I was 5-6, which followed me even to the military service.. It's been better now after I got out from there, but I still find myself unable to study or work properly), however I'm doing my best currently trying to slowly find ability to enjoy life again. Even if my life hasn't been all "that" bad, since I do enjoy spending my time with computer, but while ago I realized that I'm not even enjoying it as much as I used to. Which was the point where I realized that I really need to do something for my depression.

So to shorten this up.. I don't really like that this topic only focuses on physical disabilities, since for human psyche the mental disabilities are usually by far worse than physical. Since even if it sounds ugly, but for example missing an arm is so very concrete disability that it's easier to accept since you clearly see it everyday and eventually might find ways to work around it, rather than accepting that there might be something wrong with your brain, but being unable to do anything for it yourself.

[ardiel]

@Deltamon

I think I understand.

Honestly I have bad eyesight too and I didn't even think to select it because I never even think about it really. I only wear my glasses when I go out because it can be a little scary and annoying to not see what is coming my way from a distance - I mean I can see the shapes but like if a person is walking towards me it can be unnerving that I don't even know what this person really looks like which in some cases might even be dangerous but when I'm at home I don't wear my glasses much because I forget and just kind of accept that my world is blurry for the time being, if that makes any sense?

I supposedly have mental problems too and I've annoyed people for some reason at times but I'm not sure how I can understand it, you know? I mean it's like I just accept me being me and accept most other people being them unless they are really mean or something like that.

The only thing that bothers me much about myself is feeling pain. Other than that I don't think of disability, but I know other people do so I just responded to the question of the thread as best I could given the outline of it and the accepted definitions of society even if I don't apply those definitions to me. I can hardly go around fixing everyones views and even if I could I think it would be a very tiring and depressing endeavor.

[Deltamon]

@ardiel

It's kind of interesting actually how you mentioned feeling pain. Since I used to be quite similar that I had huge and painful emotional bursts while I was younger and ended up crying a lot (while I understand your pain being more physical because of what you wrote earlier, but it sounds somewhat similar to how I used to be even if mine is more mental pain). But now that I have grown older, and finally I started realizing about my long term depression.. It's actually turned upside down, as lately I find myself being almost unable to feel any kind of emotions. Which is kind of annoying, since I can't feel as much enjoyment from playing games as I used to, doing sports feels less meaningful and dull and while I do enjoy romantic stories a lot.. Lately I haven't been able to enjoy them neither, or any other series that I follow.. It's like I have become almost emotionless (I do still feel really strong emotions every now and then however, but it's rare.. Like for example I got very strong shivers from Hanako's story towards the end).

Actually the fact that I realized how emotionless I had become, especially towards the games that I used to love so much, was the point where I realized that I really have to do something for my depression and find help for it.

Edit: As for the not wearing glasses.. I have tried it few times, but I'd definitely be unable to actually go outside without my glasses.. It would just feel really odd, since I'm at least used to being able to see, even if I have to use the glasses for it and most of the time I don't even think about it. But overall it's next to impossible to not facing the fact that you have to use glasses while so many others in world don't, and having to use glasses has it's own issues. So I can understand how you prefer to live without them, but I personally just couldn't do it since I do appreciate the fact that I can see stuff, but I couldn't for example use computer without glasses.

[fanty]

I have no sense of smell. Though I'm sure it doesn't count as an actual disability since it has absolutely no effect on my life whatsoever.

[Deltamon]

I have no sense of smell. Though I'm sure it doesn't count as an actual disability since it has absolutely no effect on my life whatsoever.

Well I'm glad that you are saying that it has no effect on your life, since that means that you have come in terms with it. Even tho I'd say that it is definitely a minor disability, while it might not have drastic effects on your life, but it does sound like something that would still have some effects every now and then. Edit: Like the post below me says very well.

[Guest]

I have no sense of smell. Though I'm sure it doesn't count as an actual disability since it has absolutely no effect on my life whatsoever.

I could see it being a problem if you are an absent minded cook like I am. Or if like there was a toxic chemical spill and nobody could warn you about it. Actually smell is rather important and you can even get information about people from their smell... though in most humans it isn't very developed but we do have the little sensors for it high up in our nose just like animals do - I forget the medical term, but they are there, but they seem to have devolved in humans so even though they are there they don't function very well.

@Deltamon
I'd say something poignant but I'm at a bit of a loss... but some times I wonder if people who don't feel have a part of them that secretly refuses to feel, for whatever reason, maybe out of too much sadness or hurt. I know I've had that happen where I almost need something to break me in order to change out of my rut...