Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

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Deimos
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Deimos » Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:06 am

Okay, normally I would settle for a certain level of looks in an attractive person that goes hand in hand with a fine character that underlines the individual appeal that person has to me. A nice character in another person makes me blend out some flaws within that human.

But with a disabled person we are entering another stage of problems. I think it really depends on the severeness of the disability. Anybody who has worked in some kind of medical-related job should know that a good caretaker is always maintaining a distance between his charge and himself in order to protect himself.
Being in a relationship with someone who is disabled can make you a constant caretaker and fulltime guardian of that person (rather than making you that person's partner).

Let us take Rin as an example. As wonderful as her comment about periods is. If someone has a relationship with her he would have to from one point onwards help her with her period or wipe her behind when she has used the toilet. As easy as it sounds it is harder in real life and I cannot think of many people who would be happy about doing this constantly in a relationship.

Basically I would be very apprehensive about it but I cannot fathom if it could happen.
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SirMax
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by SirMax » Fri Jun 26, 2009 11:18 am

Caesius wrote:And for the record, I absolutely would not be able to get myself to like a girl with a mental disability. I just wouldn't be able to get past whatever such a disability would entail, even if they're "gifted" in some way and are physically attractive. I'm not just shallow in the physical sense.
I would think that would depend pretty heavily on how severe it was. I'm mentally disabled, but most people don't know unless I care to tell them, thanks to medication. :? A physical disability doesn't really scale as much as a mental one, and there are plenty of medications to regulate mental disabilities, but medication doesn't do much for a deaf person or a blind person.

also my girlfriend is probably mentally disabled, but my only evidence for that is that she's dating me, so I'm not sure I can cite it as an example. :P
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by russianspy1234 » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:08 pm

ubergeneral wrote:
Hypothermia wrote:How are you disabled? Sorry if I'm being insensitive, it's hard to be empathetic over the internet.


To answer the question, depends. If the girl was interesting and such, I'd have no problem with it. It would probably be a factor though.
an interesting answer. How would it factor? You can only overlook the disability so much even someone who doesn't let their disability stop them has their limits which brings to the question is how?
there are always limits, thats pretty much the definition of disability. i wear a brace to walk, and i try to not let it stop my limits, which would be fine for most people, but a girl whose heavily into playing various sports would probably find me boring since i cant do them.

i know a guy with aspergers. had he not mentioned having it, i never would have noticed, but the again i do know a lot of weird people.

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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Xenokitten » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:48 pm

I wonder why this thread is just about physical disabilities when so many of the characters in KS have mental disabilities as well. Kenji with his paranoia, Hanako with her social anxiety, Misha with whatever the heck she has that makes her so loud/etc, and Rin with her clearly uhm "unique" personality.

That being said, would I date someone with a physical handicap? I dunno, it's hard to say unless you're forced into that situation. If you truly get to know someone and are attracted to their personality and so on, then I think anything is possible... However would the relationship work out in the long term? The demands of dating a handicapped individual would be quite intense...

Let's flip this a lil bit to illustrate my point, What if the person I'm with were to be in an accident and lose both his arms or both his legs, would I stay with him? Would I still love him? Those are questions which can not be easily answered. Sure everyone would LIKE to say "Yes, no matter what, it wouldn't change how I feel about this person." What if you've been with someone 20, 30, 40 years... Would that impact how accepting you are of the disability? People do leave/end long term relationships when sh--t like this happens, all the time. You can judge those people, but really that's no different than judging the person with the disability. Things like this can change a relationship forever. It may put strain on the relationship in ways not even imagineable, aside from the lack of physical attraction, think of the facts that your partner may require special care and how taxing it could be to have to dress them each morning, comb their hair, brush their teeth, feed them, take on all of the housework, chores, etc. Not to mention they probably aren't going to be able to work after this, you will have to meet all the bills and monetary needs for the entire household alone, and shell out extra money for a caretaker while your partner is home alone. And if they're handicapped severely enough not having sexual intimacy could add further taxation onto the relationship. It's not just "you lost your limbs I no longer find you attractive" It's alot of sh--t to have to think about.

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Deimos
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Deimos » Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:16 pm

Xenokitten wrote:I wonder why this thread is just about physical disabilities when so many of the characters in KS have mental disabilities as well. Kenji with his paranoia, Hanako with her social anxiety, Misha with whatever the heck she has that makes her so loud/etc, and Rin with her clearly uhm "unique" personality.
Some of the things you describe are not disabilities per se. Psychological issues can be so minor that they will not impair your life. And some issues are rather characteristics like Rin's personality although Hanako's case is relatively extreme - Kenji's diagnosis of paranoia, however, seems to be correct.

You know, I have always meant to ask if there is any psychlogical counseling in Yamaku. I mean - it should be necessary, shouldn't it?
Young people away from home forever living in a minority in this world. And it is especially hard for those that became students through accidents because they once had a normal future waiting for them but fate has denied them that future.

That is why I found it odd when I gave it a little thought that Hisao never met any counselors.
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Seroanth » Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:32 pm

It's all about personality.

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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by toast » Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:46 pm

russianspy1234 wrote:
i know a guy with aspergers. had he not mentioned having it, i never would have noticed, but the again i do know a lot of weird people.
Aspergers generally seems to be a lame excuse for being weird/not having friends. If he mentions it he probably just wants attention.
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Envy
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Envy » Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:27 pm

Putting aside all STUMPS ARE HOT HURR DURR-ism, it would depend on the disability.

It looks like I'm going to be one of the few people in this thread to claim a lack of shallowness because while I accept that looks matter to some degree, I'm not unrealistic in my finickiness and am not afraid of a little scar tissue. I have absolutely no problem with missing appendages, it simply doesn't faze me in the slightest. People come in all shapes and sizes and I don't really see how the disabled are any different. It boggles the mind that anyone can think any different, life is already complicated enough without treating people dramatically differently based on how they look.

Considering that missing limbs are a non-issue to me I'd have no trouble with making friends with or dating an amputee if they turned out to be a genuinely interesting and I found I wanted to spend time with them. Other scarring I don't have any issue with unless it warps the face considerably to a point where I can find no aestheticism in it. Deafness and blindness I don't have any problem with either but the chances are that I wouldn't get to know them in the first place, a deaf person I probably wouldn't be able to communicate with very well and a blind person I doubt I'd share any hobbies with bar reading books. I don't share any interests with a person then it's kind of difficult to engage with them and stay interested.

Oh, and I don't really see a person not being able to keep up with my speed physically much of an issue either. Would you give up on a fat person, friend or otherwise, if they can't keep up with you?

As for mental disabilities, again it depends, "mental disability" does cover a huge range of conditions after all. Generally my answer is 'No' if they can't keep on an intellectual level. And for the record, I don't consider aspergers a mental disability in the same way I don't think of dyslexia as one.
Last edited by Envy on Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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kobe
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by kobe » Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:39 pm

I'd say sure, why not? Poeple can't help it that they're disabled, so why would I not be able to like a disabled person?
And I have some...Issues, so I wonder if anyone would want me :p

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abscess
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by abscess » Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:51 pm

Envy wrote:As for mental disabilities, again it depends, "mental disability" does cover a huge range of conditions after all. Generally my answer is 'No' if they can't keep on an intellectual level. And for the record don't consider aspergers a mental disability in the same way I don't think of dyslexia as one.
Word!

Some would be labeled as aspergers, autism, schizoid (I suspect I fit here), bipolar, etc, etc. The end point is if you can engage in a companionship kind of relationship.
Siiiiigh....

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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Snicket » Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:32 pm

I honestly can't give a solid yes or no. I've been friends with or known people with physical and mental disabilities, so i know somewhat of what things need to be taken into consideration. Though above everything else, personality is key.

Xenokitten

Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Xenokitten » Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:50 pm

Off topic: Snicket, but you have an interesting icon - It looks like Hanako before she got burned, or after if the scars healed, but she still looks just as shy and awkward as ever. It could be a completely different character from a different game, or a piece of fan art, but just thought I'd comment that I found it interesting :)

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Deimos
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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Deimos » Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:58 pm

Snicket wrote:personality is key.
I would rather say that some kind of outward attraction is the key and personality is your conscious decision to open the door to the world called romantic relationship.
Ahh, Morticia? I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.

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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Snicket » Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:33 pm

Xenokitten wrote:Off topic: Snicket, but you have an interesting icon - It looks like Hanako before she got burned, or after if the scars healed, but she still looks just as shy and awkward as ever. It could be a completely different character from a different game, or a piece of fan art, but just thought I'd comment that I found it interesting :)
No its Hanako, i wish i could take credit for making it, but i didn't. I found it on 4Chan /a/ a week or so after KS came out. I thought it was interesting and unique so i made it into my avatar. (I probably could make this picture myself, but never got around to doing it.)
Deimos wrote: I would rather say that some kind of outward attraction is the key and personality is your conscious decision to open the door to the world called romantic relationship.
Well of course looks are important, but i'd rather have some one i get along with and enjoy spending time with. Rather then someone thats is smoking hot, but is a complete b****. HS is over and i don't need that kinda of drama.

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Re: Would you date a girl/guy with a physical disability?

Post by Tsuchirinhon » Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:57 pm

I would, but I only find certain disabilities attractive. It's similar to how certain people like 'short girls' or 'girls with long hair'. It's all sexual preference and cannot be helped, usually.

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