Liminaut wrote: but who is together at 17?
Some never get there shit together at all.
1)hisao was always with her and tried to help her whenever he could, so my question is...how is what he was doing before his second heart attack any different from his supposed mistake of not being there for her?
Hisao constantly mentions about Lilly acting aloof and not being completely herself. He almost saw through Lilly, knowing she was bothered by something but is unsure exactly what it was. Now, this is what Hisao meant by "not being there for her". Hisao never consulted Lilly about what was bothering her. Unlike Lilly, whom constantly shows her consideration for Hisao and his heart problems.
Thus, Hisao wanted to apologize to Lilly about never bringing up about his concerns to her. Re-read Lillys route if you have the guts (I sure as hell haven't, and I won't for a long time). But I always noticed Hisao describing Lilly being anxious.
if i had to guess, she was terrified of loosing hisao and hanako kinda like emi, so she kept her self from getting close and choose to go with her sister to stay with someone she knows will always be there instead of risking the chance the hisao won't always be there...if i'm wrong about any of this please enlighten me...because iono this guess of mine feel off, like i missed something that makes this whole thing confusing. i say that because lilly seemed braver than that to me, but hisao is a complete moron in my opinion for always keeping her at arms length whenever he had problems with his condition.
Its a possibility. She is terrified of losing those close to her. But evidence does not support her distancing herself from others to avoid this. Emi and Lilly are completely different in how they handle losing those close to them. And this is great, as similar characters yields uninteresting and predictable plots. For enligthement, refer to above answer for 1st question.
And as a person with a hearing loss (not deaf), I am VERY stubborn about it. I have hearing aids, and NEVER wore them in high school and college. It's embarassing to wear, and although they GREATLY enhance my hearing and allows me to not only listen to my peers, but to my friends too. Instead, I constantly have trouble communicating with my friends. This led me to not being pleasant to talk with. I always nod in agreement when I dont hear what my friends say. Than when they come back to me, they get angry because I didn't follow up on my agreement.
So getting back to Hisao and his self awareness with his condition. Its very hard to describe to you about why things like hearing aids and having an abnormal heart are actually really embarrassing and difficult to talk about. Its like you feel vulnerable, people think less of you, pitying you. I don't know. ITS not exactly that they pity you that bothers me... I just dont want people to know im deaf. Im sure somehow, somewhat Hisao also felt the same with his heart condition. So when Lilly presses on about Hisao's condition, it seems Hisao isn't keen on letting out his weakness so easily. And when it does (like with Rin), I guess he just goes with it.
2)this one overlaps slightly, but here it goes: if she really loved him why was she's commited to leaving, only to not leave simply because hisao says he wasn't there for her? she even says herself that he was there for her and was confused by his confession of failure
She doesn't know herself. But with Hanako being self-sufficient (joining clubs, socializing, going out) and Akira leaving to Scotland too, it seemed nothing really tied Lilly down to Japan other than Hisao. But when she realizes she loved Hisao after the fireworks and all, the scale tips from moving to Scotland to uncertainty. And this battle in her between leaving and staying consumes her, and she tries her best to conceal this conflict. This is why she acts "aloof" as Hisao describes. This is also why Akira seems to give worrying glances to Lilly (re-read Tea Party(s)).
Now as for the confession. I can't argue that Lilly understood what Hisao meant by "never being there". And again, Hisao meant by "never addressing my concerns of your aloofness and worrisome attitude". But in short "never being there" in a figurative manner works too. BUT if Lilly did understand and knew he meant as mentioned above, than Lillys reply "But you were always there for me" works as a double entendre (BOOYAH always wanted to say that). Yes, Hisao was literally there for Lilly. But by being there, (with her in the tea party, in the snack room, in the vacation home and especailly in the airport) Hisao was already comforting and relieving Lilly from her inner battle.
update: i guess i don't understand why she felt she had to go, and i also don't understand what really changed her mind at the end
You will come to understand on your own time. Don't let it discourage you from thinking you'll never figure it out. I never figured it out and I dont think my answers are complete yet. Not a day has gone by that I have stopped thinking about Lilly's route. And its been since August. I've threw around a lot of stupid ideas here and there, but I'm piecing together my answers day by day. Hopefully I'll finally finish with an answer that I can finally nod and move on with. This route, this VN is by far one of the strangest yet amazing love story I've ever come across. Thought I admit I never read or watched much love drama. I think just reading this one will suffice.