Katawa Shoujo Forums

6 Hanako's hand shook a little as she grasped the note to Naomi. Mutou's voice was still droning on in the background, and class would be over soon. It hadn't seemed so difficult to write it, but now that she had to actually pass it over to the girl sitting next to her, she could barely summon the ...

Also, regarding Hisao's relative unimportance to the storyline--I noticed that too. I feel like there was an opportunity to get him more involved by fleshing out the few months after Hanako's breakdown. I think he was just a little too understanding and calm about the whole thing compared to the His...

Just finished reading this at the recommendation of pretty much everybody who reads KS fanfic I've ever heard from. I agree with a lot of the criticisms which have been brought up here, especially about the way the story tends to meander and feels like it goes off the rails of the main plot (which I...

5 When Hisao opened the door to classroom where they usually had tea together, he saw Hanako was already there. She'd texted him a few minutes ago, asking him to meet her here. She looked... just like she always did. She wore her school uniform, the blouse carefully pressed and buttoned. Her bangs ...

Wow, I'm flattered you liked it enough to read through twice! Thanks! I'll get that typo fixed when I revise. I've been thinking about it and I'll probably also add a few small scenes to address some of people's concerns and maybe make a few slight changes to existing chapters. In the meantime, stil...

4 When she finally got to her room in the dormitory, she closed the door with a firm ka-thunk behind her and turned the deadbolt immediately. Only then did her breathing begin to relax. It took her several long minutes to calm down, but finally she moved away from the door and settled down on her b...

Hmm, you make some good points. I'll put them on the list of stuff to look at in revision. Here's the forum version of chapter 3: --- 3 Hanako took a deep breath before opening the door to class. Somehow she'd found it in her to come in this afternoon, as though her confrontation with Hisao had stre...

Has Miles Vorkosigan been mentioned? Main character of a sixteen book science fiction series. He's 4'9" as an adult and has brittle bones which break from minor impacts (so he's had broken bones dozens of times). Also grew up as a short, weird-looking guy in a world where "mutants" ar...

bhtooefr wrote:It's not that she kissed him in public, it's that the buildup didn't seem at all right for her to kiss him in public, especially considering the societal implications of that action.

I gotcha. I'll think about if there are any changes I can make to get it to feel more believable. Thanks!

2 Hisao hadn't wanted to answer Lilly's call, but the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and he hadn't had the heart to put it on silent. The incessant buzzing and chirping buried a headache in his skull, and it felt like no more than he deserved. Finally, he'd felt forced to pick up. For once, Lilly had...

Thanks you guys for taking the time to read it!

@bhtooefr Appreciate the critiques as well, I'll take them into consideration whenever I make another round of revisions. I think the kiss at the end's gotta stay, though--remember, she already kissed Hisao in public in the original good ending!

Healing “I know I'm broken! I don't need you to tell me that! It's written on your face, it's written on Lilly's face, it's written on everybody's faces! I see a therapist every week, Lilly dotes on me as if I were her child, and now... even you! Nothing's changed, nothing at all! I hate Lilly, and...

Hi everyone, Hope this is okay to post since I'm new around here. I posted this fanfiction over on Reddit and one of the regulars from these forums sent me a PM suggesting I post it here as well, so here goes nothing. I've hosted the full story (9 chapters and an epilogue totaling about 16,000 words...