Katawa Shoujo Forums

This is a wonderful piece of work. You enthralled me with the miracle of Lilly's unlikely sight, and you kept me wanting for more. I didn't expect any powerful emotions at play this early on, but you did so beautifully. I'm looking forward to future chapters from you.

"Worse" is already the comparative. I was thinking about keeping "worse" instead of "worser" during the writing phase, but I think "worser" just sounds nicer, even though it isn't exactly a real word. Unless you count Shakespeare's usage of it as law. As in, ...

"Worse" is already the comparative. I was thinking about keeping "worse" instead of "worser" during the writing phase, but I think "worser" just sounds nicer, even though it isn't exactly a real word. Unless you count Shakespeare's usage of it as law. The cha...

Closed Tuck-In "Good run today, Hisao," Miki beamed as she coasted along the track while I wiped the sweat off my brow. Apparently, she was doing a couple of extra laps after I became a wheezing mess on the bleachers. Things have gone back to normal a few days following my reconciliation ...

Wow this is great, I love how this ties in with the pseudo suzu route. Although the part in the diner had me rooting for Suzu haha. Looking forward to more from you keep up the good work my friend, just a quick thought, why is Lezard always seen as such a bad guy? It's not that he's a bad guy. It's...

What is this? People being reasonable and admitting they should have handled things better? BLASPHEMY On a more serious note, I really like this, really looking forward to future chapters It's still Act 2. Hisao and Miki are still getting to know each other. I'm sure either one of them is bound to ...

Ho, fellow Miki router! Glad to see you posting again. I wish I could read through this thread, but I'm scared that if I do I'll make too many similarities and parallels between our plots.

Instead, I'll leave you with well-wishes and the best of luck.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! Reality check: Curfew is at 1 a.m.? I mentally put the curfew hour to 12 p.m., but I think all those late nights of writing took their toll on me. Changed. It's not just this paragraph - you're changing tenses all over... Like I said, I was sleepy. Most of Hisao's ...

Grounds and Facts It's almost 7 PM when we get back to school. At the school gates, Mutou's paying the rental van a few extra thousand yen to drive him home. I guess it would've been presumptuous to think he sleeps in the dorms. I obviously never see him in or around the dorm during mornings, and I...

I really like Kento, he's got a lot of character. Here's hoping he becomes a semi-recurring character; after all, Hisao needs better guy friends than the conspiracy nut. Not that I don't like Kenji, but you can't really be friends with someone you don't respect. Oh my, does Kento have a crush on Ha...

Charged Particles and Chaos Theory It feels like the ride to town is taking forever. I am not feeling particularly excited about this field trip compared to how I felt a few days ago. The events of my argument with Miki still play clear in my mind's eye. I sigh as I look outside, watching the raind...

["...]What better place than here? And what better time than now?" ... all hell can't stop us now? I couldn't resist. Thank you for noticing that. Rage Against the Machine has a big influence on me. :P Some updates on my current situation: If I haven't updated Dancing in a few weeks, it's...

I knew this chapter was going to elicit some sort of violent reaction.

This means that I am either doing my experimental writing horribly wrong, or that people are at least emotionally invested in my story.

Since there are no grammatical or spelling errors (so far), I'll leave the chapter as it is.

Costumes It's Saturday morning. I wake up early as per usual, down my usual prescription pills, get dressed in my otherwise-useless PE uniform, and make my way to the track. Every day is a routine, now. Jog, school, lunch, more school, free time, bed. Except for Saturdays. Afternoons without classe...

Mirage_GSM wrote:I suggest simply changing it to a "warm breeze", and all will be well.

This is actually the best course of action.