Katawa Shoujo Forums

Any special reason to change narrative styles between two sections of the same chapter? Just the way I chose to describe what's happening and sometimes fill the ellipses. Chapter 1 starts at Monday morning, the time flows on and on, so the present tense narration can no longer be used to describe a...

Lot's of jumping between tenses. I thought using past tense for Sunday events and present for Monday was only natural. *** separates different time periods. If you're going for past tense, talking internally to oneself doesn't fit. This happens on Monday and the paragraph is written in present tense.

Man, this is going slow. ==== ◄ Previous | Index | Next ► ==== The check-in at the gates turned out to be long and boring. By the time they were done sunset had turned to an early dusk, forcing me to seek refuge in the dorms rather than go sightseeing. Sleep one, local landmarks zero. Entering the ...

Remember kids, real life is bad for your writing. Video games and internet are too. ==== ◄ Previous | Index | Next ► ==== Chapter 1. Stumblin' In. Hammers and anvils. Sounds rhythmically banging on my head. The alarm was invented by sadists. I open my eyes to see the dark ceiling. No way, did I scr...

Mirage_GSM wrote:Reading Hisao talking this ghetto slang is kind of disturbing...

I know it's really inappropriate to give in to sweet little weaknesses, but it's so tempting sometimes.
A lesson is learned, though.

Whew, the prologue's up. By the way, your critic is still appreciated. I get this feeling there's something off with my writing. ==== ◄ Previous | Index | Next ► ==== I hated it. I hated this place. I thought it served the purpose of telling people the terrible truth in a soft manner so it wouldn't...

For now let me just say that I think Emi would be the very last person to trade augmentations for a lifetime addiction to drugs.. That's why the hesitation. Additionally, there can be various circumstances. ===== Weekly progress report (kind of): produced a fair amount of paper on 7-9th. Decided th...

Thanks for the feedback. Fixed the punctuation ( sigh... knew it would be a good idea to google beforehand ) and a few spelling errors, added double spacings. Will also focus on indicating the talkers, this seems like a major problem lately. Off-topic: I <...> have heard precious little of the Deus ...

After a critical evaluation of everything written so far, I've decided that a total rewrite rewrite of the current "Act I" cutting about 60% of its total volume (which would salvage it) was something beyond my ability. Or rather, it was beyond my ability to grit my teeth and do it. This p...