Katawa Shoujo Forums

Huh, why didn't I read this before? Well, you have yourself a new reader anyway.

Huh. For some reason when this started I just couldn't get into it, but a couple days ago I had nothing better to do and tried again. I must say I'm glad I did, whatever turned me off in the beginning is certainly gone now.

Oh wow. This is... quite good, to say the least. Love how you blend humor in with out it being overbearing. Took me a minute to get the reference with Suzu's wake-up scene in the lunchroom, here's hoping our protagonists here can help her through that, if it is the same issue. Uhm... not sure where ...

So.... What was Yuuko doing?

Sorry, gotta agree there, the "like pancakes" bit is completely out of tone for the scene, and just kind of jolts you out of the story.

Pretty much what others have said, that it moves a bit fast and could use some expansion. Otherwise it looks pretty good. And a Molly route is something I've been waiting for actually. Oh, one other thing. I release the death grip on my chest as the pain slowly surpasses , Should just be 'passes', I...

Pretty good. But it seems a bit... rushed I guess? I can't really point it out. Maybe I'm just used to drawn-out descriptions everywhere...

I feel bad for Hisao. Whichever way this goes, someone he cares about is going to be hurt. Well... there is one solution... but I rather doubt it will go that way. If you're thinking what I think you're thinking then I hope it doesn't go that way. One of the things that makes this fic so good is th...

I feel bad for Hisao. Whichever way this goes, someone he cares about is going to be hurt. Well... there is one solution... but I rather doubt it will go that way.

Why haven't I read this yet? Well anyway, you have a new reader.

Hm. Not bad, another one to keep my eye on.

Sooo... I take it the bullet was more dangerous to take out than risk problems later...?

Of course, the real reason is for dramatic plot happenings later

Hm... well, it's worth keeping an eye on at least. Quite a different backstory than most. Just, as always, keep an eye out for sueishness.

Well, since you haven't had many comments, and I don't want you to get discouraged... erm... [insert encouraging message here}.

...

"Rika and me." The same happens again in the last line of the chapter.

Odd. I remember being taught in school that "___ and I" was proper, and "___ and me" was poor grammar.