Katawa Shoujo Forums

Mirage_GSM

Congratulations on completing the story! It was quite the ride. I don't think I've ever seen anyone post such a long story in such a short timeframe - and this high quality at that. A story with Junichiro as the protagonist might be... depressing... Also here my final two annotations :-) She just sa...

Mirage_GSM

Now you made me crave Japanese curry... I never heard of that chain before, and I've never seen any, but I'll have to look out for them the next time I am in Japan. Looking at their menu, "7" is quite a lot, though: The menu says that levels six and above are limited to those who have alre...

Mirage_GSM

Not sure if this was intentional on your part, but Chikara is a name for males... As are most names containing this kanji or those with a similar meaning... Also "energy" is not quite correct. 力 means "Power" or "Strength" most of the time. "Energy" would be k...

Mirage_GSM

So, I've caught up now. Main problem is still tenses; everything else is fine. If you want you can send me a google doc link, and I will go over future chapters for proofreading. A few more comments: I see that the sun is only just peaking peeking up over the horizon. As we all make our way back to ...

Mirage_GSM

Something wrong with the sequence of this dialogue (shortened for clarity): [Ritsu]“Yeah… me too. So, uh, how are you?” ... This is the first time I hear her saying anything that might lead to a conversation of her own initiative, ... I'm also scrambling for things to say. [Hisao?]“I’m fine, yeah. Y...

Mirage_GSM

I'm not completely done with reading, but I like what I've seen so far. You have made some interesting characters, but you haven't rushed to info-dump all their histories on us from the start. You're kkeping up a nice pacing, and interesting stuff keeps happening - maybe almost a bit too much for ju...

Mirage_GSM

Thank you for continuing this story. I'm glad to see it's still going.

One minor point:
It's a bit strange that Hisao - who is the narrator of this story - would refer to his friend, who he is on a first-name basis with, as "Mr. Tatsunagi" in his internal narration...

Mirage_GSM

I see Akio and I kissing... I see Akio and I eating "Akio and me" in both cases. Miki carrying around vodka bottle is awfully in character for her, lol. Though probably a bit unnecessary, considering Taro has a whole nightclub in his appartment :-) I also would not necessarily call this s...

Mirage_GSM

Ah, that was sweet...

And nice to see the story have a happy end after it took a dark turn in the middle.

Mirage_GSM

I'm going to assume they died in a car crash, since neither of them had particularly lethal problems :-) (unless Suzu was driving of course.) I also think it' strange that nobody ever bothered to tell Hisao about what happened to Misaki. I'd expect one of the first things to explain to someone who w...

Mirage_GSM

“H-he was a second y-year. Wh-when we were second ye-years,” I explain. My first thought was that he had been held back... And there I was wondering that the story was hardly bleak at all up to this point... How naive of me! :oops: That said, it was as always a brilliant story. Not much more I can ...

Mirage_GSM

I guess if a Japanese couple goes for a "western" wedding they pick and choose from any western tradition they like - and I would not be surprised at all if they mix up the terms... For example here in Germany the concept of "Maid of Honour" does not exist. Both parties bring a &...

Mirage_GSM

Well, I didn't make any detailed plans or anything, but my first thought was that for some people - especially Hanako - such a box might be quite traumatic...

Mirage_GSM

I do know what Charlie Brown is, but to be honest it would not have helped me much in this context. All I know are a few comic strips of kids being philosophical with each other. ^ ° Hisao is a bit of a saint in this one. I have been in a similar situation before - my GF breaking up with me after fo...

Mirage_GSM

Thank you very much for the story! It certainly was not what I expected, but I liked it a lot. You know, one of the hardest things about writing for me is to find something to write about - a prompt if you will. So when it came to coming up with one for this year's SS, just for fun I asked ChatGPT t...

Katawa Shoujo Forums

Search found 5636 matches

Re: Yamaku: The Next Generation (COMPLETE!)

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

Re: Yamaku: The Next Generation (Updated: 2/2/2024)

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

Re: Switching Dynamics - A Ritsu Pseudo-Route (Properly)

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

Re: Running Away To You (A Post Lilly-Neutral Story) (Updated 15/3/23)

Re: Sharp-O's One-Shots! "Ecstasy in Motion" 29/12/23

Re: Crafty's One-Shots (Dec 31st, 2023: Happy With Yourself)

Re: Feurox's Den of Sadness Updated 30th of December, 2023

Re: Shutter Steps (SS23 for StealthyWolf)

Re: Dress Shop Sisters

Re: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Oneshot thread)

Re: Secret Santa 2023 - Story collection

Re: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Oneshot thread)