Search found 54 matches

by Path
Mon Jun 01, 2015 9:33 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20220124 Dish Washing)
Replies: 1945
Views: 851667

Re: Yamaku Book Club (Meeting Resumes 01/02 June 2015)

The writings is good, Akira was written well, Lilly too, despite being vanilla as ever. Any time where the character talks to another character that they can see, I think they're like main character from Fight Club. After finding the twist, looking over certain points, it's easy to draw the connecti...
by Path
Mon May 25, 2015 9:49 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20220124 Dish Washing)
Replies: 1945
Views: 851667

Re: Yamaku Book Club (Meeting In Progress 25 May 2015)

The first part got my interest to see Shizune's POV on the bad end and how it affected her and HIsao. It was interesting to see Hisao go to Lilly after the break up for support because Lilly is one of the few that know Shizune personally. The letter though, I didn't even know that was suppose to be ...
by Path
Tue May 05, 2015 12:39 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#73—'Stripping')
Replies: 324
Views: 282900

Re: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (22—'Less Taken') (20150504)

You made me like Lilly for once, I'll give you that. Really want to see the Whisky Supper because I was interested how Lilly and Kenji would interact after their scene together in her route.
by Path
Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:20 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Mask Off: A Molly Route (Update 3/8)
Replies: 72
Views: 43495

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Pseudo-Route

There are a few instances where words are missing their final letter, but that might be just typos rather than real mistakes: ...Kenji and his plans to stop the feminist s . It would be nice to do work without being pressure d to join the Student Council “Don’t expect me to offer you lunch again, i...
by Path
Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:43 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Mask Off: A Molly Route (Update 3/8)
Replies: 72
Views: 43495

Re: "Can you open your mind?" A Molly Pseudo-Route

There's a pleasant tone, although word choice is sometimes problematic (e.g. as if she'd been declined - like a bad credit card! - instead of 'rejected'). What I'm sad about is they went off without bothering about Suzu. :( I'm adjusting to write a story rather than a essay, so some of word choice ...
by Path
Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:01 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Mask Off: A Molly Route (Update 3/8)
Replies: 72
Views: 43495

Mask Off: A Molly Route (Update 3/8)

Hey, this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction, or any story to be honest. Feedback and criticism are welcome, because I can't improve if no one spots my mistakes. Thanks. Table of Contents Act 1: Life Expectancy Scene 1: Covalent Bond (This post) Scene 2: Innervision Scene 3: Strange Terrain A...
by Path
Thu Apr 09, 2015 1:00 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#73—'Stripping')
Replies: 324
Views: 282900

Re: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (20—'Fighting Words') (20150407)

I’m thirsty, very thirsty That made me laugh a little bit after reading how sexually interested Hisao is lying in bed thinking the over the events. This is one interesting read I have read from you where I'm a little confuse on what is happening with Hisao. The second half seems like some lucid dre...
by Path
Thu Mar 19, 2015 10:58 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: The Third Star - A Misha epilogue
Replies: 22
Views: 9948

Re: The Third Star - A Misha epilogue

I can't wait to see where you take this. I'm interested in how you developed the characters and describe them from Misha's perspective. :)
by Path
Thu Mar 05, 2015 4:58 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#73—'Stripping')
Replies: 324
Views: 282900

Re: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (16—'In Our Hands') (20150218)

I finally have time to read some of your one shots, and I regret not reading them earlier. This story made me all teary eye and happy to see how Hisao and Shizune relationship developed. Can't wait to read your other works.