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Angus was waiting outside the Yamaku gates early in the morning. As there was no one around and he had nothing better to do, Angus decided to pass the time by singing. By the time he had reached the third stanza, he realized he was not alone. A Japanese youth with slightly messy brown hair was watch...

Angus and Shizune decided to play Axis & Allies first. Yuuko arrived with their orders while the two were setting up, and took Shizune and Misha’s orders before she left. Playing Axis & Allies in a restaurant? Wow, that takes some nerve :lol: IIrc a game can easily take upwards of 5-6 hours...

It had been very early in the morning when Lilly called him, telling him they needed to talk. Angus found that odd, considering that Lilly hadn’t once gotten up before 10:30 during her stay in Scotland. He had figured she’d be the same here, at least until school started. She had said only that they...

You know, it was just a minor remark, not a serious error ^^° Just as a tip for future stories: If you have to make up a convoluted explanation like this, it might be easier to simply say you deviated from canon a bit for story reasons. It's nothing to be ashamed of; plenty of people do it. Instead...

Without ever running into Lilly at the hospital? Theroretically possible but quite unlikely. (And I think it must have looked something like this ...) Lilly not contacting her right from the airport ? Even more unlikely. But her leaving on the trip with Hisao in the hospital is something I can't im...

Hmm... I think you modified the timeline of events at the end of Lilly's route a bit, so you should make clear just what you changed so readers won't be confused. I hadn't realized I changed anything. What exactly was it that changed? Mostly Hanako already having left on her trip when Lilly left fo...

Hmm... I thnk you modified the timeline of events at the end of Lilly's route a bit, so you should make clear just what you changed so readers won't be confused. I hadn't realized I changed anything. What exactly was it that changed? Otherwise you have avoided most of the pitfalls from your first a...

Unforeseen Consequences By Emps “You could not remove a single grain of sand from its place without thereby … changing something throughout all parts of the immeasurable whole” – Johann Gottlieb Fichte, in The Vocation of Man The train was horribly crowded. It hadn’t been so earlier, but as the trai...

Unforeseen Consequences and its sequels are a post Lilly Good End fic featuring Angus, a character originally created by /ksg/ - Katawa Shoujo General. It follows what happens when Angus journeys to Japan to bring Lilly back to honor the arrangement made by their families whether he wants to or not....

Emps, I hope I didn't come off as insulting to you. I mean no disrespect. It's wonderful that you put in effort to write this. it just needs some more work. Having said that, please put it back up. I hate when writers torch their own work. Leave it for posterity and start a new topic. Also, that wi...

Thanks all for the criticism. It was much more beneficial than the little praise this garnered on /ksg/. This being said, I'm going to go ahead and do a full re-write with your advice in mind, so it will probably be a while until I do anything other than respond to comments here.

things To me, Hanako seems like the person to read pretty much anything fantasy/sci-fi. Also, consider that the Ghost's, as a regiment, are orphaned, just like Hanako. That's called character perspective. I know full well its a tartan, Hanako doesn't. That's actually a pretty good point about it be...

stuff Finally, negative feedback! I'll admit, I wasn't too happy with the pacing, but I figured that was just my inability to be satisfied with anything I write. Good to know other people have a problem with it. Though that still leaves the problem of all this happening over less than a week. As fo...

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Re-write in progress