Search found 71 matches

by # 2
Sat Jun 09, 2012 8:33 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Ballad of the Caterpillar
Replies: 7
Views: 1557

Ballad of the Caterpillar

The caterpillar lived in the cherry tree. There, alone she lived, just she. She had no friends, no family. The others called her many a name, Hairy worm, fat worm, bringer of shame, Forever alone, scarred by flame. Caterpillar was lonely, fraught with fear, Never to find someone to hold dear, To bri...
by # 2
Fri Jun 08, 2012 5:22 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Bad, bad, Shizune (Another stupid song parody)
Replies: 4
Views: 1262

Re: Bad, bad, Shizune (Another stupid song parody)

@Nemz: What was the question?

@Elcore: Thanks for the honest criticism, I'm just tossing things on the wall and seeing if they stick; this obviously bounced... quite possibly off of Nemz head, it seems.
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:47 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Bad, bad, Shizune (Another stupid song parody)
Replies: 4
Views: 1262

Bad, bad, Shizune (Another stupid song parody)

With the humblest of apologies to James Croce. ------ Well the south side of Yamaku, Is the baddest place to play, And if you go down there you just better beware Of a gal called Shizune. Now Shizune likes to rumble, Though she stands 'bout five foot four, All the boys in school call her 'Silent Thu...
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:06 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: The United States of Misha (Misha Post Shizune Good End)
Replies: 203
Views: 56553

Re: The United States of Misha 6/7 Update

As a reader, (Since I am a very amateur author), I can say that 'neutral' emotions and romance just don't play well together. Business first, then pleasure, as they say.
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:40 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Haiku for each girl!
Replies: 50
Views: 6715

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Your form is precise, But lacking in tenderness. Finesse is your friend. Burlesque? Say not so! I request soft sighs, loves kiss. Knights in white satin. Brute force wins nothing, The solution is simple. Thesaurus! To arms! Blind love, you pierce me, Light tresses, azure gaze, lo! No more do I searc...
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:19 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: The United States of Misha (Misha Post Shizune Good End)
Replies: 203
Views: 56553

Re: The United States of Misha 6/7 Update

Hm, only critique I have is that it's kind of difficult to tell Misha's mood after she reads the email from Hisao. She's obviously moving forward with the romance, but her lack of emotion makes it feel odd, as if she's only going through the motions.

Overall, though, I liked it, and request more.
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:02 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Haiku for each girl!
Replies: 50
Views: 6715

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

Legs, carbon fiber,
Heart of steel, will of iron,
I'll not know defeat.
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 5:55 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Shizune's Birthday Party
Replies: 10
Views: 2124

Re: Shizune's Birthday Party

Light and fluffy. Humorous. Um... that's all I can say, really.
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 5:18 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Imprisoned (disturbing content)
Replies: 5
Views: 1370

Re: Imprisoned (disturbing content)

But oddly her fingers had been broken to silence her which implies it was Shizune? There were multiple auditory details that stated her ability to hear as well So lost in thought was the woman that she almost missed the sound of a bolt being drawn Yep. You caught me with my shorts down. Gotta do a ...
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 8:18 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Imprisoned (disturbing content)
Replies: 5
Views: 1370

Re: Imprisoned (disturbing content)

I do admit that I made at least one fatal mistake in the narrative.

The rest I chalk up to inexperience with the narrative style.
by # 2
Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:10 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Imprisoned (disturbing content)
Replies: 5
Views: 1370

Imprisoned (disturbing content)

A note to the originators of the English language: Gender neutral pronouns would have been really nice. Edit: I removed all the usage of present tense I could find, as I meant for this to be in past tense, 3rd person. Also fixed my idiot blunders with auditory cues, though some still remain since th...
by # 2
Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:24 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: The United States of Misha (Misha Post Shizune Good End)
Replies: 203
Views: 56553

Re: The United States of Misha Updated 6/3

[sarcasm]I will admit that though I try my dadgummest to get things right, sometimes reality is occasionally bent for the sake of the story. I do apologize for doing this, since it is probably the single worse thing a writer can do.[/sarcasm] Fixed that for you. :lol: But... I was serious... Crap, ...
by # 2
Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:12 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (completed)
Replies: 907
Views: 432188

Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Would it be wrong of me to drive to your house, duct tape you to your keyboard, and force you to write until your fingers are worn down to useless nubs?
by # 2
Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:40 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Taxi ride to nowhere
Replies: 34
Views: 8737

Re: Taxi ride to nowhere

*Blubber*

I wanted a happy ending.

Where is my happy ending?

Well written though, my hat's off to you.
by # 2
Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:09 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Haiku for each girl!
Replies: 50
Views: 6715

Re: A Haiku for each girl!

A slumbering girl, Jade green eyes, closed now in peace, I shall guard her dreams. A demon draws near, Haughty, mad with her power Dares my love to wake. Her minion cries out, Laughter, it beguiles the truth, Cries out like the cock. My love slumbers on, She'll not be aroused by fools, This I must a...