Katawa Shoujo Forums

I didn't see the original version, but this one doesn't look too bad.

Nice. I'm looking forward to seeing where this all goes.

All the World I say something. There's a slight twitch in the eyes of the man with the funny mustache. I think I said something that I wasn't supposed to say, even though that's the thing I felt I was supposed to. He fumbles for a second like somebody who starts to describe an awesome dream they had...

The problem with that is that her sisters have already been depicted as unusually mature, so it would be quite strange if they suddenly started childishly teasing her sister for having a boyfriend. Siblings never grow out of childishly teasing each other. :wink: Now for the story... Remarkably well...

The dream is a bit too much for me... more like a LOT too much for me. Any suspension of disbelief you've had was thrown right out the window here. Even if it wasn't you've still spelled out every single one of Lilly's hangups in the least subtle way possible. I do like your take on Hisao's parents ...

Should I be offended or pleased that most of the conversation generated by my post surrounds the correct use of dashes? :P Well, there's not much to talk abut in the story. It was very short, very to the point, and nothing much happened. I mean, it was well written and I did like the snowflakes ana...

This seems interesting enough. You've got a good character here, although for one that doesn't want to seem prideful, he sure boasts a lot. You might want to keep in mind the details of your characters surrounding a bit more. He can't see, so smells, textures, even small sounds that most people are ...

That is kinda neat.

Normally having the student show up, meet the teacher, and go straight to class on his first day is a cliche I like to avoid. Since the teacher here IS Hisao though, it kinda works. I just think if you're going to do that, you need to call a bit more attention to it. "Alright, I'll bite. I pick them...

There's a few problems that seemed to jump out at me here. Hanako and Rin both spoke far too normally. Rin never used any strange metaphors nor did her thoughts ramble into divergent tangents. All in all, her dialogue felt remarkably clear. Likewise Hanako seemed to say what she was thinking without...

When Rin was younger, her mother uses to tie her sleeves up into little bows. As Rin got older, she started trying to do it herself, but the best she could ever do was knots. Rin still ties them in knots, but has long since forgotten why she does it.

as I feel he could have been more tactful and understanding. Considering all of Hanako's issues and the issues Hisao is working through as well (many of them being quite similiar) it's remarkable that he does as well as he does. Keep in mind that before Hisao, Hanako has managed to make ONE friend ...

A decent enough read for what it was, I guess. I'm not big into medical drama though so I might be the wrong person to judge.

as I feel he could have been more tactful and understanding. Considering all of Hanako's issues and the issues Hisao is working through as well (many of them being quite similiar) it's remarkable that he does as well as he does. Keep in mind that before Hisao, Hanako has managed to make ONE friend ...

Glad you enjoy it, and don't worry, your English was fine.

Yes, there will be romance later, but honestly, I think the relationship between the main characters is more interesting than anything I'd planned romance wise.