Search found 2854 matches

by Oddball
Sat Nov 30, 2019 2:24 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Mundane History (A Rin's Prologue One-Shot)
Replies: 2
Views: 471

Re: A Mundane History (A Rin's Prologue One-Shot)

This is a real nice story. Rin can be a hard character to write. Often time people tend to make her either to weird or too plain. I think you're Rin is a bit closer to the "plain" side, but not horribly so. Slightly eccentric, but understandably so. The parents though, they come as slightly too plai...
by Oddball
Sat Nov 30, 2019 2:05 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Hanako's Insanity [unfinished]
Replies: 5
Views: 1348

Re: Hanako's Insanity [unfinished]

I was actually rather interested in where you were going with this from the title alone. It's an eye-catcher. Although to be perfectly honest, I wasn't expecting it to go anywhere good. The title just brings to mind bad attempts to be edgy. Sadly, it looks like this story never ended up going anywhe...
by Oddball
Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:15 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Salvation
Replies: 13
Views: 1243

Re: Salvation

Ah yes. The Hanako bad end. That's been a popular place to start stories up from. You're going to have to do some work to fix that relationship. Frankly, things couldn't have gone worse. I’m not one to fantasize too much about “worst case scenarios” despite my cynical tendencies, but this goes leaps...
by Oddball
Tue Nov 26, 2019 1:12 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: As Long As I Have You (A Lilly x Hisao Fanfiction)
Replies: 9
Views: 1778

Re: As Long As I Have You (A Lilly x Hisao Fanfiction)

For the most part it's alright. It's well written, but something about it just seems off. There's a far more cynical quality to it that you don't see often in KS works. Lilly drunk speak could use some work though. I know what you're going for, but it reads awkwardly. Saying she was hiccuping and sl...
by Oddball
Thu Nov 21, 2019 1:01 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Saviors from the Flames
Replies: 12
Views: 922

Re: Saviors from the Flames

The story starts off rocky. Emi and Hanako just happen to run into each other and run into the firefighter that saved Hanako's life all at the same time. That's one heck of a coincidence, especially for so early in the story. Also, you should really avoid using honorifics in your work. KS doesn't us...
by Oddball
Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:55 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: PsychicSpy's Oneshot Thread (2/4/19 Update)
Replies: 25
Views: 1566

Re: "I'm Here for You" One-Shot

Very nice short story. I do agree that having Hanako tell Misha exactly what happened is a bit much, bu otherwise it works well.

I would rephrase the opening few lines though. Warm Water Hitting Hanako and Shuddering with Sobs is a bit heavy on the alliteration.
by Oddball
Mon Nov 11, 2019 11:42 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20200127 A God Among Men)
Replies: 1820
Views: 258505

Re: Yamaku Book Club (two different stories)

We're going to look at TWO stories this time. Because I feel like it. Maybe I just have party on my mind. Both are really short. Both are really old. https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png Yamakus' Annual Sweet Rave Party by SnigendePind . Because sometimes we need to look at bad ideas too. This is one of ...
by Oddball
Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:32 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Saturday in the Garden with Emi
Replies: 5
Views: 355

Re: Saturday in the Garden with Emi

That's a very lovely piece of work with strong characterization for the both of them. Lilly and Emi play off each other well. Emi keeps pushing her boundaries, asking questions, and being perfectly blunt, with Lilly trying to stay more restrained. I think for the most part it worked out well, althou...
by Oddball
Sun Nov 10, 2019 2:45 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Falling Up and Down: A Rin's After Story (Updated : 14/11/2019)
Replies: 7
Views: 554

Re: Falling Up and Down

Interesting take on the characters and the story itself seems to have lots of potential. The only thing that gets to me is the shift in protagonists. It seemed like you were building Miki up to be the POV character only to drop her. I mean, you're only two chapters in so far, so she might make a com...
by Oddball
Mon Nov 04, 2019 1:04 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Pablo Posts One-shots Here I Guess - Updated 10/26/2019
Replies: 6
Views: 429

Re: Pablo Posts One-shots Here I Guess - Updated 10/26/2019

That was quite a fun little romp. You do an interesting version of Suzu. Not quite what i would expect but at the same time not different enough where it doesn't feel like a new character you made up.
by Oddball
Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:57 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Crafty's One-Shots (Feb 2nd, 2020: Nudge to Nurture)
Replies: 93
Views: 7579

Re: Crafty's One-Shots (Oct 26th, 2019: Someone Part 2)

Very interesting set up. The story itself had a very calm feeling to it almost to the point of being dreamy. I think skipping out exactly on what Emi saw was a good idea and keeping it vague even when it was mentioned really helped set the mood. Too much detail would have only served for shock value...
by Oddball
Thu Oct 24, 2019 12:44 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20200127 A God Among Men)
Replies: 1820
Views: 258505

Re: Yamaku Book Club (A KS Supernatural/Horror Fic)

https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png It's Halloween season, so let's read a Halloween type story! Inkyukasu - A KS Supernatural/Horror Fic by Bricktycoon. Sometimes we read complete stories. This time we read the start of a story that was never continued. ... Unless of course that WAS intended to be the...
by Oddball
Thu Oct 24, 2019 12:22 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: StilesLong's One-shots - The Secret Santa
Replies: 23
Views: 4594

Re: StilesLong's One-shots

That story with the cat is probably the cutest I have ever seen Shizune written. Wonderful good. Even in the really short amount of time this story took, you made the shopkeeper into an interesting character and I would have liked to see more of his relationship with Shizune as she got older. Even t...
by Oddball
Wed Oct 16, 2019 11:00 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Arrival [updated 10-31-18]
Replies: 22
Views: 2517

Re: Arrival [updated 10-31-18]

This was a wonderful little story. I love stories where characters arrive and don't immediatly just go to class. You do a great job handling Hanako here, making her so withdrawn that she's wiling to starve herself rather than incovinecne anyone is a a very nice touch. Personally, I had always though...
by Oddball
Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:04 am
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: Looking for Shizune Cosplayer
Replies: 5
Views: 1597

Re: Looking for Shizune Cosplayer

Good job