Katawa Shoujo Forums

One early thing that bothers me in the story is how you make it seem like Emi has locked herself away for quite sometime, but it feels like if she did that, somebody would have checked on her before now. You do have Miki come after her, but the timing and description feels somewhat off. Just by sayi...

The very first line you use “u” instead of “you”. Next line … Lilly was not a big fan of this idea. She’s now 18 years alive You switched tenses on me. You actually switch tenses quite a bit thoughout the story. Might want to work on that. Also... “eighteen years alive?” I know what you mean, but th...

There's nothing wrong with Routine, but there's nothing really right with it either. It just feels... well... routine. Nothing there makes it stand out.

Dedications to other authors and none of them are me. You lost major points there. For that and for having a story who's title I don't know how to pronounce. Man, you're off to a bad start before I even get to the story. :evil: Akio is a rather interesting character. There's a lot of build up to how...

https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png You know what time it is! It's cooking Club time!... I mean book club. Actually, you know what? It's both today. Yields Six Servings by themocaw. This story is about Rin, doing a perfectly normal thing. She's cooking. The interesting part is how Rin goes about it and...

Interesting idea, although Rin feels a bit too normal. I understand how people can change over the years, but there doesn't seem to be too much left of the way she used to act to balance it out and make it feel like her.

It's a cute story so far. Ikuno and her family are quite adorable. Hisao comes off as a bit too clueless at times and sometimes seems to be the punching bag of everybody and you do dwell a bit too much on the sweater vest thing. I have no idea why everyone feels the need to bring that up. You're als...

Interesting origin of Misha's nickname and hairstyle. I also like the idea of Misha and Shizune trying to attend a birthday party for Hanako and the extra tension that caused, even if it doesn't really fit well with canon. The nickname Hanako-chan feels overly long and clumsy though. I'm usually aga...

https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png We're going to do something a little bit different this time. We're going to read multiple stories. (it's okay. They're short). On top of that, we're going off forum for them. And for the icing on the cake, we're going to look at something from our of our dear devs. ...

Very interesting work.

The idea of starting this story after it's been going on for a while is a nice touch. It skips right off the awkward parts about her figuring out what's going on and gets right to the meat of the story.

Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:47 am

Is "masterbating" some weird hybrid between "masturbating" and "masterbaiting"?

...


Yes.


That's my answer and I'm sticking to it.

https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png I meant to update this last week, but I hurt my back and wasn't really in a reading mood and I do try to read (or re-read) these stories before I force them on you all. :wink: This time on the book club we have perhaps one of the least appealing titles that I've ran ...

Generally people here don't like having to go to another site to read things. Why don't you just post your story here?

Lilly gets around campus unaided and she's completely blind.