Search found 2868 matches

by Oddball
Tue Apr 07, 2020 10:45 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 14
Views: 686

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Not too bad, there's some decent character work, but over all it just feels so stiff.

I think what you need is another far less formal character interacting with them to provide more contrast.
by Oddball
Thu Apr 02, 2020 9:43 am
Forum: Fan Works
Topic: Koikatsu Shoujo
Replies: 0
Views: 56

Koikatsu Shoujo

I know we have a few people that mess around with Koikatsu, so I thought it would be nice to have a nice centralized location where you can get or upload the characters. Here's what I've got so far. Some of them mine, some of them not, some of them modified by me (some of them are still works in pro...
by Oddball
Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:35 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Fate/Shattered Wish (Discontinued, for now)
Replies: 15
Views: 728

Re: Fate/Shattered Wish (Discontinued, for now)

I know this was discontinued, but that's no reason why you can't get some feedback anyway. The first thing that stands out to me is that you misspell Lilly's name more often that not and usually seem to forget to capitalize you Is. You do a good job at hinting something is wrong briefly before the r...
by Oddball
Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:17 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20200323 Objects in Space)
Replies: 1827
Views: 263394

Re: Yamaku Book Club (Objects in Space)

https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png Objects in Space [Hisao] by Doomish. This time we're going to look at a story by Doomish. Doomish's works tend to live up to his name and he's established a bit of a reputation in the community, this one isn't nearly as nasty and all around over the top as you might ...
by Oddball
Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:59 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Precious Friendships (Shizune Bad End epilogue) (Updated 6 Apr 2020)
Replies: 15
Views: 488

Re: Precious Friendships (Shizune Bad End epilogue) (Updated 20 Mar 2020)

It also includes another character in the game that only showed up a couple of times, but was hugely expanded in another work (which I'm not going to name but every fan of the forum should know). I'm going to assume you're talking about Molly. The table of contents is interesting. Normally I'd say ...
by Oddball
Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:38 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Old Habits Die Hard (Rin Neutral Ending - Twelve Years Later)
Replies: 2
Views: 185

Re: Old Habits Die Hard (Rin Neutral Ending - Twelve Years Later)

Right now, it's kinda hard to read.

I suggest going back to every place you started a new paragraph and leave a blank line between them. It makes for much easier reading.

Also, welcome to the wonder world of fanfiction writters.
by Oddball
Mon Mar 16, 2020 10:36 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Raimen's Repository
Replies: 6
Views: 216

Re: Raimen's Repository

It was an interesting idea that I feel could have supported a much longer story. Some of the dialogue felt a bit stiff, and the ending with Jigoro was kinda cartoony but the idea behind it was great. I also really like the conversation between Lilly and Misha about communicating with Hanako after sc...
by Oddball
Wed Mar 11, 2020 11:13 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Chris' Saki One Shots
Replies: 15
Views: 2096

Re: Chris' Saki One Shots

The first two stories you did had a nice strong emotional feel to them (although the quoting you used for one line of A Conversation on the Roof does throw one out of the story just a touch.) Fluke has a really nice idea, but I feel it's over to short to really make a good impact. I think you could ...
by Oddball
Sun Mar 01, 2020 10:04 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: The Sands of Time
Replies: 15
Views: 1123

Re: The Sands of Time

Chapter 3 Stride There's a man leaning against my car. I approach him slowly. I don't do anything fast these days. You could say my heart just isn't in it anymore, but only if you had a morbid sense of humor. He's wearing worn out combat boots, army style camouflage pants, and a faded baggy t-shirt....
by Oddball
Sun Mar 01, 2020 4:37 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Freaks and Friends
Replies: 171
Views: 39299

Re: Freaks and Friends

The year is 2112. I've had a good life. After having spent some of my earlier years obsessed with some silly anime cripple girls, I eventually found love of my own. Alas, she has moved on to the great beyond ahead of me, and things haven't been the same since. For a brief moment, I wonder if there'...
by Oddball
Sun Mar 01, 2020 11:20 am
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: Ask!
Replies: 4950
Views: 772554

Re: Ask!

Yesterday, I noticed that there came out a new page domain for shimmie, but it said that the website is still not uploaded. At approximately what time will it come out, or is the preparation taking long time to finish? I think ive finally found an answer! Skip to 14:14 https://www.youtube.com/watch...
by Oddball
Fri Feb 28, 2020 12:44 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Freaks and Friends
Replies: 171
Views: 39299

Re: Freaks and Friends

Amazing isn't it? This story isn't dead? Since the last chapter I posted, I moved out of the place I was living in for 15 years into a better one, lost the job I had for 12 years, spent a few months unemployed, and started a new job. The whole thing about shutting down the old store, moving, and get...
by Oddball
Fri Feb 28, 2020 11:56 am
Forum: Fan Works
Topic: Blooper Reel
Replies: 1308
Views: 266512

Re: Blooper Reel

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dresscode.png (511.92 KiB) Viewed 71 times
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rin stay.png (593.29 KiB) Viewed 71 times
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normal.png (773.95 KiB) Viewed 71 times
by Oddball
Thu Feb 27, 2020 2:02 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20200323 Objects in Space)
Replies: 1827
Views: 263394

Re: Yamaku Book Club (This Padded Cell I Call A School)

https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png This Padded Cell I Call A School New story everybody! If nothing else, I have to give major points for the title alone. Now THAT is a title that will reach out and grab you. The main character was a nice refreshing change of pace. Somebody that has had their problem ...
by Oddball
Fri Feb 14, 2020 7:49 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: 'Writing on the Wall' - SX for Cpl_Crud (Mature Content)
Replies: 14
Views: 1045

Re: 'Writing on the Wall' - SX for Cpl_Crud (Mature Content)

I like the story for the most part. There are things that I don't think fit, but as a stand alone story, it's really good. As a prequel , I'm not sure it works. It actually feels less like a prequel to Katawa Shoujo and more like an alternate version. The pieces are close to the same, but they never...