Katawa Shoujo Forums

Hmm... Even accounting for the older kids' edits this doesn't really work as an essay by a small child... When we got to the Williams’ summer house... Like this: Refia would probably not refer to others as "the Williams" or "the twins" in other places. Also, this is a sequence of perhaps 15 minutes ...

I take it and quaff a sip, orange juice meeting my pallet.

You mean her "palate", right?

Didn't expect this one to be continued at this point. Are you planning on finishing it?

There are a few projects of the sort, and I even had a look at a few of them out of some kind of morbid curiosity, but I never stuck around longer than two or three minutes... Never understood the use of such a thing either. I do get audiobooks - you can listen to them while you're on the road via a...

Well... He was like Kenji, so it was okay I guess.
Not sure that scene was relevant, though, so you could have saved yourself the hassle.

More a grammar issue than a typo I guess...

And yes, Rika sucking at maths is canon for this story. She already over estimated the boy/girl split at Yamaku in a previous chapter! Well, the only other information about that comes from Kenji, so It's quite possible she is right and he was delusional... But if she has a more than 50% chance of ...

Chisato, Mitsuru, and myself are standing around Noriko,

Does "myself am standing" sound right to you?

Everything else I wanted to comment on has already been said by others - except I think Hisao was a bit needlessly dense when it came to Saki's violin problems...

Because there’s a greater than even chance that I could die tomorrow. Either Rika is extremely pessimistic or she sucks at maths... I mean, why do I have to plan for it when there’s no guarantee that I will even be there for it?” Easy. If you don't plan for it, it's going to suck, even if you're th...

As per usual you can just try to omit the second person.
"Satomi’s interests were considerably different from ... I" is obviously not correct.
Satomi’s interests were considerably different from ... mine" is.

Satomi’s interests were considerably different from Hisao and I

At least "from Hisao and me" - but "from Hisao's and mine" would be even better.

you should probably take down my number, so I can get in let you know when we're studying." Seems there are some remains of an earlier iteration of that sentence still there... "We're climbing Mount Fuji." That might actually kill him :-) Anyway, nice to see this story is back. I have some kind of ...

At first I was concerned that this story would clash with what we know about Iwanako's visits from the novel - but the fact that Hisao ws asleep all the time turned that around nicely.

Good job.

I noticed that it only works if I copy/paste the errors I find as I'm reading. Otherwise, when I go back to find the errors I noticed, I read the story as intended, with my brain auto-correcting the chapter as I'm reading anyway. Funny - that's how it works for me, too :-) I think it's more a case ...

But Molly knows him. He was in her class for a week...

So DID he escape from the hospital, or did Emi misinform Misha?
If the former then why?

And how come Molly doesn't recognize Hisao?

This confused the hell out of me until I realized it was a continuation of a story almost a year old. Still, post-deep-end is always interesting.